I used to be that guy. No job, no clue, just stuck doomscrolling and wondering why nothing was working out. Life felt like a co-op game where I forgot to pick up a second controller. Then I tripped over something kind of wild the army's got this #QuickShip thing where you can pull in $40k just for signing and showing up. Not even joking.I'm not trying to LARP as a drill sergeant or something. I'm just saying: if you're sitting around wondering how the hell to get ahead, this is one of those options that somehow exists but no one talks about unless your uncle brings it up at Thanksgiving. Except now they're throwing real money at people who are willing to step up.I know what you're probably thinking. Military=war, scary stuff, not for me. I thought the same. Full-blown tech nerd over here, never touched a weight, social skills at 15%, maxed out in sarcasm and caffeine dependency. But the truth? Most recruits never see combat. You're more likely to end up learning stuff, getting in shape, and figuring your life out than you are running into anything risky.It's more "life reboot" than battlefield. You build structure, get confidence, and yeah people actually treat you with more respect. You stop feeling like a background NPC energy and start showing up like a main character.And the kicker? After your time's up, you've got $40k+, free education, benefits, the works. Start a business, buy a house, whatever. It's like real-life NG+ with unlockable perks that don't expire.Not saying it's for everyone, but if you're even a little tired of sitting on the bench while life keeps loading might be worth looking at. No hype, no pressure, just putting it out there like someone should've done for me.If you're curious, there's a site I found that breaks down how #QuickShip and bonuses work. Look it up, do your own digging. Just maybe don't dismiss it like I almost did. https://goarmy.com/
>>84813085i'm not dying for israel, bub.
>>84813085Least obvious fed. Pack it up, glowie.
Buy an ad you nigger goycattle.
>>84813085>I used to be that guy. No job, no clue, just stuck doomscrolling Go on...>and wondering why nothing was working outIdk man my life rocks
>>84813085ciaagent_5688@israel.gov:$ Well done agent. Keep up the good work!
>>84813085Ah yes, let me join the US military, during the administration of a Scrouge McDuck cosplayer who unironically shits on gold toilets, so I can go die for Israel in yet another needless Middle East regime change war. Maybe I'll even get to call down a JDAM based on bad intel on a hut full of women and children too so I can develop crippling PTSD!Thank u Mr Glowie for this solution to all my life's problems.
Feds are desperate at this point. A "relatable life story"? Something must be up...
>I used to be that guyCool. Now go die for Israel when they suicide bomb your TOC or land a successful missile strike.
>>84813085Government making ChatGPT 4chan ads now. The jokes write themselves.
>>84813085>"iranianfpvdronesayswhat?">"what?">
Every solider I ever knew were complete assholes. It didn't build their character at all. All it did was make them bigger assholes. It didn't matter if they were infantry, MP, etc. or not. You'd think seeing your war buddies getting wounded or killed in battle would make you more empathetic, but it does the complete opposite.Let's not excuse the enablers of shit behavior as well. Yeah, they saw shit. Doesn't excuse them being abusive towards everyone. Seeing shit doesn't excuse shitty behavior. Quit enabling violent assholes like people in the military. Just being a solider doesn't mean they get a pass on being assholes. Go off and die on your own, fed.
>>84813085How did $40k solve your directionlessness? What did it allow you to do that you couldn't before? I don't get it? Sure $40k would a lot of stress I a directionless life but I feel like the trade off is now you're contracted to work for the military.
>>84813085I have diabetes. I tried to join but they wouldn't let me.
>>84813085I'd love to but burly men shouting at me turns me on.
>>84813249You're gonna fuck the drill sargent?
diagnosed schizowould have joined months ago
>25% tax>no lump sum payment>must fight for zogpoor people tax
>>84813085Yeah, well, unfortunately I'm not American so even though I got conscripted into the army for a year, I got absolutely nothing out of it in monetary or career terms. I did get some friends, though.
>>84813085Please leave me alone. I don't want to do this.
>>84813085If I were to dress up in miniskirts and start sucking dicks for money I would contribute to society 1000 times more than a zionist golumn slave
>>84813085I'm not going to enlist for your stupid war
>>84814039Would you let me use your mouth like a pussy or are you the more active dick sucking type
>>84813085Quick question to b/Which part of the population have the highest drug abuse and suicide rates - and no, its not trannies. Another guess?Its veteransfor a reason
The internet has done such a blow to military recruiting in America. With a 10 second search I can read hundreds upon thousands of horror stories, including but not limited to:>Getting passed up for promotion due to nepotism or hatred>Getting worked like a slave for 12 hours every single day, as when you sign the contract you turn into a slave for Uncle Sam. Any normal wagie working two jobs could make more money.>Dying for nothing, just so Trump and Netanyahu can go do whatever the fuck they want. >Get injured and have to play pattycake with the VA for years for obvious service related damage, potentially ruining your life. Others will abuse the shit out of with made up problems to milk it.>If the benefits are so good, why are over a quarter of our homeless, military vets still?>If the benefits are so good, why is there such a high rate of suicide and depression afterword?>No one is getting a warm fuzzy feeling about any of their pay bonuses or rank bonuses as they'll make up any excuse they can to take away your pay, bonuses, pension, health care, or anything else. I've figured out all these things through the internet. But even irl people tell me, "Never join the military". I remember one guy I knew who joined the Marines and got out of it and proclaimed that they were, "the dumbest people on Earth". Not a good sign. >>84813166A perfect sign of being out of touch. You can make 35k working at Wal-mart 40 hours and not working 70 hours+ a week for Uncle Sam. With a small reallocation of immense resources, soldiers could get paid a lot more but they choose not to.
Go die for Israel golem. I'll be comfy here recruiting stupid goy
>>84813085The glowiest glow thread of them all
Sorry recruiter. People have learned from Bush's little 9/11 scheme and not signing up en masse for your shitty jobs anymore. Are you going to try another terrorist attack so you can get more soldiers to fight for Israel? I hear those Iranian sleeper cells are just waiting for their order.
>>84813085SSG, how much are they paying you to recruit homos off of /r9k/? I'd argue you should have gone drill.To other anons in the thread; I have done the Army thing. If you want to ask questions I can tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly about it. It works for some people, doesn't work for others. I will say don't ever go I. Without getting a bonus. Your recruiter will try to fuck you, but if they need bodies they will get desperate.
>>84813085Fuck you.I am taking estrogen and feminizing myself. You will not draft me to die for Israel.
>>84813085I'd joing the army but a) I only have a ged and I dropped out of college already and b) I don't want to die for israel
>>84814105no I wouldnt actually do that, but I have more respect for gay prostitutes than golumn
>>84814471Do they make you bathe/shit basically in plain view of everyone else? How much of it is on purpose where they could easily add stalls?
>>84814689>Do they make you bathe/shit basically in plain view of everyone elseI mean you don't HAVE to shower if you don't want to. Actually that's not true, your platoon will kill you.I never got a combat deployment and I've heard some stories that they were a bit worse off than us, but yeah communal showers are a thing when you're deployed and you're gonna see a lot of man ass.Also on my deployment all the toilets stopped working and they had to send a bunch of us to scoop shit out of the overfilled toilets with shovels.I volunteered to mop so I didn't have to touch it.>How much of it is on purpose where they could easily add stalls?Well all that money goes to making sure the staff officers are comfortable in AC with clean bathrooms, so unfortunately all the enlisted can get fucked
Honestly not a bad idea, we could use some discipline
>>84813085>be born frail female>love killing evil in vidya and swords>survived countless irl death flags by sheer luck>fake diagnosis'd by parents to control me more>have nothing going in life and people actively hurting me>have all economic and study opportunities ruined by bad ppl>no you cant leave to go fight in a war sweetie I dont want you to possibly leave us and die, instead of dying slowly at home>mfw I should have left the country and family at 18 to be a soldier and rise the ranks if had known life would turn out like this
>>84813085I'm not becoming a zogbot bro
tldr benefits are literally god tier . free health care for life, neet bux and legit better than wage slaving for Mc Donald's or whatever shit job in your early years. but you shouldn't join asap, join when youre later 20s if you haven't gotten a good job yet also get married first and you get a free house when you are inpick easiest job possible and cake walk through the time then collect benefits for rest of your lifethe medical alone is worth more than wageslaving for 10+ years
>>84813085I'm not going to fight and die to be a cuck for Israel.The military can take that 40k and shove it up their ass. I'll kill myself before I E V E R become a slave.
My brother got onto a similar program but got it denied because his boot camp Sargeant was someone he bullied in High School.I'm not making this up. The VA was even trying to deny brother the G.I. Bill which he was legally obligated to have because of some of the false reporting the guy did.Do not ever go into the US military. The entire upper brass are old fucks and nepotists whos life peaked in grade school.
>>84814252You're spot-on about VA disability. They will do EVERYTHING they can to minimize and deny your claims, including outright lying. I have multiple herniated discs, torn disc, arthritis, nerve narrowing, disc dessication, etc all evidenced by an MRI.The lying VA doctor did the following: deliberately failed to include the Robaxin and Baclofen I'm prescribed, deliberately failed to note the doctor's note I have for a cane, deliberately failed to note the radiculopathy altogether, and lastly, deliberately lied and said I bent 85 degrees when I literally bent only 10 degrees at max.That's why I tell everyone this: Fuck the military, fuck Israel, fuck the VA.My friend has multiple conditions caused by the military yet they did everything possible to prevent him from seeing a doctor in the service, even going so far as to put a note in his file basically saying "he's making up all his issues, don't give him any referrals." They also banned him from going to the doctor on base and forced him to drive two hours each way to another base.Finally, let's say you miraculously get 100% VA disability. You'll not only get extremely crappy "free healthcare" but they'll try everything they can to screw you over, for example by law you're allowed to see a civilian doctor if the VA can't see you within 28 days, right? Nope, the VA found a workaround, they schedule out a fake appointment for you 20ish days later, then just cancel and reschedule it 20 more days later. All this to avoid giving you half decent medical care.>The proof: A massive FOIA investigation into regional VA networks analyzed hundreds of thousands of VA-canceled appointments. In major systems (like the North Florida/South Georgia VA), data revealed that out of roughly 680,000 clinic cancellations, over 420,000 lacked any evidence that the veteran requested or consented to the cancellation. They were changed entirely by staff to scrub the waitlists.
>>84816160My friend got an ankle injury during boot camp and was literally forced by MP to continue the exercises while injured despite having two on-base physicians state he needed to rest.Ended up permanently fucking up his tendons after a week and when the Navy discharged him they denied VA coverage. That was like 6 years ago and he's been told by a handful of doctors now that he'll most likely never walk normally again. He's been in a legal battle with the VA since. He's been told by his lawyer he is never going to get the coverage he wants and he's most likely going to get max like 50k in settlement. The military is a scam.
>>84813085To be a soldier is to cease to be a person, you spend your days doing meaningless tasks for power tripping nepostism hire retards except this time if you refuse you can be fucked for defecting or whatever, you live in barracks, you clean yourself ass to ass with other naked dudes in a disease ridden ceramic cube, a complete stripping of your dignity, even in your off time if you meet a higher up somewhere outside you have to kiss their ass and lick their boots right there lest they fuck with you when you get back, all this for subpar pay and 0 career prospects outside of the military and they will fight you tooth and nail on any medical coverage or anything like that, not to mention to non-negligable risk of being sent out to die for the interests of some jewish billionaire, what a job mr recruiter.
>Sign up for the military and risk having my entire life ruined because Officer Luitenant Roid Rage decided to take out his anger over his wife being a coal burner on you.>Or risk getting blown to bits in a different continent for jews.Nah I'm good senpai, lol.
>>84813085Being in the army was a weird experience. On one hand, it was a boring miserable humiliating slog, on the other hand it was the high point of my life for many years afterwards. I only did basic and AIT and got kicked out after a few months at my National Guard unit, but just from that I remember it being super stressful in some ways but made life a lot easier in others. Basic was like one long gym class, super boring and intense and full of tattle tales and immature bullshit. The airport before AIT was perhaps the most pleasurable 4 hours of my life, just being free with my buddies to buy whatever we wanted and take our time with no supervision. AIT itself was like how I imagine college would be, but with more shouting and structure. We did PT in the morning, did classroom instruction for half a day, and then ran drills for half a day. After like 16:30 we were released for chow and then three hours of personal time. There was always someone to do whatever you felt like doing and everyone had tons of free money, mostly we went out to eat and got way too drunk. But like a negative example, at 9pm roll call every night there was this dude who went around slapping the weaker, more timid guys. He'd been a varsity wrestler in high school and if you tried to fight back he'd pin you and ask what the fuck you were doing in genuine rage. Someone eventually palmed a pocketknife and cut him, the knife guy got arrested and the slapper got essentially removed from training indefinitely for recovery to spend all day doing chores for the first sergeant and was still living with the new class who moved into our barracks at least six months after the rest of us graduated (if I recall correctly from facebook). But nowhere else do you get that much power and privilege at 20 years old. If you're stuck in some boring ass small town it'll do a lot to get you ahead and might be marginally more interesting than what you're doing now.
>>84816412>it'll do a lot to get you aheadThis is such a blatant lie thay not even recruiters say this anymore.Literally no one outside of military contractors hires recently discharged vets.Just go to the closest trade school and ask how many vets go there. Some trade schools have up to 90% of their students be veterans. Almost none of them have more than a basic job and most of them don't even get hired after they complete their program.All being in the military does in terms of job prospects is tell your employer that you're fine working unreasonable hours with stupidly low pay as long as they pretend to have power and status over you.
>>84816479>Literally no one outside of military contractors hires recently discharged vets.During the war of terror, people learned that you need to let them season for a while after discharge, so all the PTSD cases are homeless and easy to avoid.But there are tax benefits to hiring government mules. No corporation can resist someone that's proven to work for low pay in poor conditions.
>>84816479Yeah that wasn't really accurate. I'm stoned right now and just feeling nostalgic for a brief experience from 16 years ago. But say you're the type of NEET who posts about going insane in their small town because they can't get hired at Wal-Mart, you can just submit a form online and do some tests and suddenly you're living a lifestyle of casual air travel and "unlimited" income and opportunities to socialize and advance professionally without worrying about what to wear. That probably meant more back in the Great Recession, but it seems like if you're a 19-year-old small town bumpkin who just wants something to happen, the army can probably still do it and there are certain soft benefits to sharing tight quarters with the few upper middle class college graduate recruits during training. The downside being the occasional stabbing or fistfight and also a lot of awkwardness as people explain things to you which seem obvious in hindsight or you get overfamiliar with the wrong people.
guys just take estrogen, Trump won't draft you if you take HRT.
reality is most the posters seething here wouldn't medically qualify or pass the written test to get a remotely decent jobmy time was shit, but i was in during 2 war times and was chilling on the beach never going anywhere. and now im getting benefits for rest of my lifejust dont be a fucking idiot and its god tier, its a system you can enter and utilize for maximum effect or be a screeching seething faggot crying like this >>84816212or this flunkee >>84816412most people get kicked out because they can't not do drugs , they just have negro genes and no self control, and now they seethe after wasting years of their lives
>>84816804I probably couldn't pass the physical cause I'm fat and run slow but if I can get accepted into college on a scholarship I think I can do decent on any written test
>>84813085You forgot to add "reply STOP to end" you stupid fucking glowie. Why don't you contribute something to society instead of sucking Netanyahu's cock all day?
>>84816829fat asses get through fine, they just endure and run, its only like once a year they need to do it
>>84813085Why do you want these retards to die for Israel?
