>>84814388
sure if he/she loves me and we're happy together

>>84814410
You're a very nice person anon, thank you for answering

>>84814388
>would you be fine with a girl that wants to be a guy and wants to be called a guy sometimes not all the time but won't transition
would she peg me tho?

>>84814388
I would but I would get jealous if she did that but never humped me, pegging very very optional.

>>84814388
>but won't transition
If I have knowledge of the future and I know this to be true, then yes.
Unfortunately, I don't have knowledge of the future and I don't know this to be true.

How does this desire manifest for you?

>>84814431
I am into that so I guess if you wanted it.
>>84814439
Is this NPH anon? But I am into humping
>>84814445
Well I won't transition because I know I wouldn't pass, and because I don't always feel like a boy, so I only sometimes would like to be called a boy.
>How does this desire manifest for you?
I have dreams about being someones boyfriend and having them call me their boyfriend. And them saying they love me despite everything.

>>84814388
if they let me fuck them in the ass and wear a strapon whilst I call them a faggot then sure

>>84814388
yes. I've never been attracted to "conventional" women, that's not a problem for me. As long as we love each other, that stuff doesn't matter to me.
Although I am a bi guy with a preference for femininity, so that's probably why I feel this way.

>>84814481
No lol, humping is one of the goofier ways to make me swoon, I'm into it. (I don't have this nice a butt for nothing, please!)
Not into humiliation... no, someone just being on the flexible side of gender expression and wanting to explore it consensually and in a sane, mild way is just humbling to be around, it's good.
>into pegging
I mean yeah. If you actually like it, that could be very sweet.

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>>84814481
>I am into that so I guess if you wanted it.
I am now in the thread. Very nice. What kind of male-ish things do you do, anon

>>84814512
How old are you? Sounds hot but only if you're like late 20s-30s.
>>84814568
If you have a preference for femininity, why date someone like this? I'm not very feminine.
Even though I present as female, I still wear mostly masculine clothes, wear boxers, and have shortish hair.
>>84814578
I'd love to hump someones ass.
Sorry for assuming you were NPH anon, he's just responded to my threads before and it kinda stressed me out. No hate to him though
>it's good
You're into it?
>that could be very sweet
I do like it
>>84814658
I wouldn't say I do much of anything masculine or feminine. I'm pretty depressed so I don't do much of anything.
But in relationships I want to take on a more masculine role. Like a protector, a provider. I've always liked the idea of courting, proving through acts of service that I could be a good partner. Like through gifts, doing stuff for them, cooking for them, caring for them. Having a job and providing for them. I know I could do all that as a girl, but sometimes I want to do it as a man. I want to be a good man to someone

>>84814429
no problem!
Hope you have a nice day! Treat yourself to something nice today :>

>>84814735
I've been pegged before, it was really, really good... did up hurting my butt one time later which sucked a lot, think it was probably bc I pushed for more...
So yeah I'm totally into it, just, appropriately tsun about it too now.
Humping has the same psychological / emotional intimacy for it but you know, also the comfort of no real risk. And a lack of risk is sweet.

>>84814481
>Well I won't transition because I know I wouldn't pass,
But if you could pass then you might?

How tall are you? How obvious are your curves?

>>84814735
>sometimes wants to present as a guy, sometimes as a girl
>into pegging
>wants a guy late 20's-30s
>short hair
>wants to protect and provide. Likes to court
marry me. Well, first get to know me and date me. And we don't even have to get married if you aren't into that.

>>84814735
That sounds very sweet anon. Cute and cool. I hope you can find a good boy to pound and hug

>>84814803
Do you like being held down and humped? I think I'd like it but I've never had sex
>>84814847
I'm not sure if I would. Probably not. I'm fine with my body, besides my vagina, and I'm scared of botched surgeries. I'm fine with my boobs, so I don't think I'd cut them off.
I'm not that curvy at all. I'm 5'3
>>84814879
I don't add people from here sorry, but I hope you're able to find someone like this anon. I'm scared of talking to people from here. And I'm not very in a personal talking mood
>>84814995
Thank you!!

>>84815063
Do you wish you were a different height, and what heights do you like in men? Does a smaller height gap help you feel like you can take on more of a mannish role in the relationship?

>>84815063
>Do you like being held down and humped? I think I'd like it but I've never had sex
Do, it's also exciting to be grabbed on from behind like that, when I can't see what you'll do next. Lots skin only my clothes and bed ever touch too.
Thanks for the occasion to talk about this a little btw., I don't really get that often at all.

>>84815102
Yeah I wish I were taller. But ultimately I'm fine with my height.
I know y'all probably won't believe me, but I don't really care about height. It's no big deal to me. I don't like men who tower over me though, it makes me feel insecure and weirded out. It makes me feel like I'm less in control.
I don't want to say I want someone I could easily move around, since I don't care about weight either, but I want someone more closer to my height so I don't feel less next to him.
And just because I think matched heights are cute cause I could lay my whole body on them and cover theirs with mine and actually cover all of them.
>>84815149
I like talking about it. You can talk about it as much as you'd like.

>>84814388
No those women are always leftwing pests while I am simply a man who wants to feel good and be loved!

>>84815063
>I don't add people from here
I understand, that was more of a playful tease than anything. The few times I've done so, it didn't go well. I'm a pretty introverted guy myself.

>>84814388
Depends on how you want it. I wouldn't date a girl who insisted I go to events and bring her to my family and talk about gender and pronouns, that would be obnoxious. But a bro with a vagina that I could call dude and hang out with and play-wrestle and dryhump all day is literally the dream.

>>84815200
>I know y'all probably won't believe me
I mean, you're exactly the sort of person I would believe, at least when it comes to that specific topic.

Thanks for the answers, I hope you find what you're looking for. If we met IRL, I think I could deal with it, but that's easy for me to say on 4chan when it's only theoretical and I have no certainty how I'd deal with it for real.

>>84814388
only if you call me a girl or your princess sometimes, sorry i don't make the rules

>>84815200
>I don't like men who tower over me though, it makes me feel insecure and weirded out. It makes me feel like I'm less in control.
(Sorry to butt in on this)
You'll definitely get over this with the right guy, smalldom is a thing and probably already way overkill in terms of kink-factor.
>You can talk about it as much as you'd like.
Yay ^^
You sound a bit younger than me, you should know that intent and how you interpret (including "frame", "storytell") reality has a lot more effect than any one physical detail. That's why basing your self-esteem on having physical power over others is about as low-grade as self-esteem gets; protecting and nurturing what you love is its own thing and much, much deeper.
(I used to practice martial art but can't bother anymore, so much time spent perfecting ways to hurt people I'd love under better circumstances...)

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>>84814388
>"girl" asks a very specific subset of the male population about their preferences for dating, with no actual interest in dating this subset of the population
you fags are so fucking embarrassing, is there really not going to be a single other person calling out the larp? this board is really something these days.

>>84815367
I replied a bunch precisely bc it's such a hypothetical LOL.

>>84815367
>i clicked a thread i don't like so i can call everyone talking in it stupid
you are dumber at this point

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>>84814388
Would you be fine if he called you mommy while you pegged him?

>>84815222
I am left-leaning yeah
>>84815246
Sorry they didn't go well. I'm pretty introverted too.
>>84815263
I know politics isn't part of polite conversation, I don't talk it unless I'm close to the person and we're alone. I'm not really into arguing my beliefs, because there's no point.
>But a bro with a vagina that I could call dude and hang out with and play-wrestle and dryhump all day is literally the dream.
Need
>>84815300
Thank you!
I hope you can find someone as well!!
>>84815323
I'm fine with that
>>84815338
I know it shows I have pretty bad self esteem, and I know I do. I've tried to stop feeling this way but I can't. I guess with the right person I could get over it. It just currently makes me uncomfortable. I think maybe it'll go away as I get older, since you are right, I am on the younger side(18), so I'm hoping these insecurities will go away.
>>84815367
Even if you don't believe it, you can still answer it?? It's not like you're losing anything by answering.
>>84815410
Yes. I wouldn't be into being called daddy though

>>84815456
>I guess with the right person I could get over it.
Biiiig trap, I was 18 once.
Nothing changes until you do! You have to gradually make those insecurities conscious and, basically... get over the spook-factor and clean them up, bring some fresh air and sunlight to them.
Until you do, the best tip I can give is *stay away from kink and anything extreme* in terms of sex. Make a pact for underwear-on intimacy, whatever you need to do to guarantee a safe environment to keep your healing up. You can't truly lend safety to someone when you don't even have it for yourself, the plan you described is just "co-dependence will fix me".
That is the opposite of gregarious and protective, setting someone you love on a crash-course with your traumas and overgrown negative imaginations.

(Co-dependent or even skinwalking. To make it a bit more obviously palpable...)

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>>84815456
>Yes. I wouldn't be into being called daddy though
Perfect! I hate how it seems to be a trend in strapon porn where the bottom calls the top daddy.

>>84815456
>Sorry they didn't go well. I'm pretty introverted too.
Thanks. I had gone in with no expectations and was still disappointed those times. But it is what it is.
>I'm hoping these insecurities will go away
I think they will, especially at your age you have time to take things slow. Its important to be comfortable with yourself before rushing into relationships (yes I realize the irony of saying this vs my previous post lol).

>left-leaning
it's over, op is an evil freak who wants us to get our heads cut off in the street

>>84815520
Well I don't plan on having sex anytime soon, so I don't really need to worry about that part. But once I do I'll remember that. I like just grinding anyway
You're right, I don't want someone else to fix me. I want to do it myself. I have a lot of problems and I'm slowly working through all of them. I got completely sober, got put on health related medicine, and all that. So this is just another thing I need to work on.
>>84815603
I don't really watch strap-on porn
>>84815698
I'm trying to be comfortable with myself but IDK how

>>84814388
no because that would mean that she is obsessed with getting something that is impossible to get (becoming a man when you are a woman)

>>84814388
I would try to fix her and probably succeed because I'm a genius

>>84816130
I already said I wouldn't transition
>>84816152
What would you do?

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>>84816118
>I don't really watch strap-on porn
Well what kind of porn do you watch/view/read?

>>84816130
it's subtler than that but good intuition

>>84816159
why would you want to get called a guy despite not being one ? that's literally larping

no id rather date a tomboy who is happy with doing masculine things and having masculine traits while being confident in her identity as a woman. vgh it's so attractive.

>>84816159
>What would you do?
Just talk to her and understand her feelings and then try to slowly chip away at whatever is causing her to feel uncomfortable with her femininity

My waifu is like this actually so I've thought about it a bit

>>84816164
Usually solo male, solo female, face-sitting. Porn centered around ass, like anal. Blowjobs
>>84816188
Because I want that, do I need a better reason than that? No I don't. Because it's not hurting anyone, I'm not going around telling everyone irl, and I'm not forcing anyone to get along with it. I don't see why I need a better reason than just wanting it. Sometimes I just don't feel like a girl. I am a girl, I just want to be sometimes seen and called as a guy.
>>84816205
Hope you can find her anon
>>84816233
What if the problem is something you can't fix? Like it's not anything based on societal problems or personal problems, but based on physical ones about her body and about her mind.

>>84816244
>Because I want that, do I need a better reason than that? No I don't. Because it's not hurting anyone, I'm not going around telling everyone irl, and I'm not forcing anyone to get along with it. I don't see why I need a better reason than just wanting it. Sometimes I just don't feel like a girl. I am a girl, I just want to be sometimes seen and called as a guy

>Because I want that, do I need a better reason than that
Well yeah, using another word wrongly for no reason is pretty stupid

>No I don't. Because it's not hurting anyone
what do you even mean, I said that this would be larping, which it indeed would be

>I need a better reason than just wanting it
wanting things for no reason ( like buying a car light bulb when you don't even own a car) is retard behaviour

>Sometimes I just don't feel like a girl
what do you mean by that ? a girl/woman is just a female human, anything else are mere cultural ( and therefore impossible to use as an inherent characteristic of the given gender ). Feeling like a man / woman doesn't mean anything beyond the strictly biological reality of having a male/female body. you cannot not feel like a girl because your body is that of a girl ( and will always be )

>>84814388
You just need to get your pussy pounded and you'll forget about these fantasies

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>>84815367
aaah there's a deeper way to read this that does make total sense, nice job frogman of trvke.

>>84816244
>What if the problem is something you can't fix? Like it's not anything based on societal problems or personal problems, but based on physical ones about her body and about her mind.
I don't think there's as big of a gap there as you think. Society only matters insofar as it influences what you think.

I think a philosophy shift is what is needed. A lot of women seem insecure in their bodies because they have transhumanist ideas largely implanted in them by intrasexual competition and cosmetics advertising, so I would just try to slowly bring her over to a way of thinking that more embraces natural beauty

>>84814388
Does she love me and only me and look at me and only me?

>>84816350
>Well yeah, using another word wrongly for no reason is pretty stupid
Okay
>what do you even mean, I said that this would be larping, which it indeed would be
That was a response to the question I asked at the beginning.
Question: Because I want that, do I need a better reason than that?
Answer: No I don't. Because it's not hurting anyone
I'm saying I don't see the point in needing a better reason because there's no consequences affecting anyone or anything else.
>wanting things for no reason ( like buying a car light bulb when you don't even own a car) is retard behaviour
That's a bad analogy since I already have all the tools, besides a boyfriend, to do what I wish to do.
Let me come up with one that would probably better explain it. Imagine you like video games, and there's this one game coming out and you want it so bad. It has good graphics, a good storyline, and people are saying it's a good game. Should you feel ashamed for wanting that game? You don't need that game do you? No you don't, but you want it right? So why feel ashamed for it?
You only live once, I don't see the point in holding myself back from something I want if no one else is affected by it.
And I do have a reason, my reason is that I've always felt off about myself and about being a girl.
>you cannot not feel like a girl because your body is that of a girl
It's a mental thing. I don't physically feel like a man, but mentally I feel like one. Mentally I want to be one.
>>84816378
I don't think so
>>84816459
I'm not sure convincing me of natural beauty would work. I already know about that
>>84816472
Yes

>>84816350
>>84816510
Also, probably more than half of the things everyone has in life is stuff they don't need. You don't need toys, books, games, all that. But you still want it despite that. And I don't see the difference between this want, and other wants since no one is getting hurt from it

cuz i dont want you to do anything w/o me

>>84816510
>Yes
Then yeah I guess. Not a big ask to fulfill.

>>84814388
i wouldn't like it if there was any concern that they might change their body in unattractive, permanent ways (hormones, surgery) but that's no different from not liking someone who would change their body in unattractive, permanent ways (tattoos, weird piercings). i dated a trans guy in high school who was basically in this boat even though he didn't realize it and it wasn't an issue until he started seriously considering hrt etc and that stuff icks me out. i also don't want to bottom in any kind of way ever so if pegging or bdsm shit is a requirement for this person to feel like a guy i'd say no thank you

>>84816528
i wasn't talking about need but about a lack of reason, people consume because it entertains them or provides dopamine, that is their reason

>>84816571
Thank you for answering, you sound nice
>>84816579
I don't want to start hormones or have surgeries because I'm scared of the consequences of them. And I'm scared of botched surgeries
>>84816591
My reason is I want to. It would make me happy, which would also provide dopamine. So the reason is the same

>>84816510
>mentally I feel like one.
that doesn't mean anything. people do not "feel mentally like a man / woman" they just are that, there is not a constant sensation of manhood/womanhood lingering in them if not one that is purely physical ( feelings of you own organs / bone structure )

And once again you claim that your reason to want be referred to as a guy is " because I want to" that is not a reason. It therefore appears that you lack a reason for wanting to be referred to as a guy which means that you ( or your reasoning at least ) are retarded.

You are avoiding the question

>And I do have a reason, my reason is that I've always felt off about myself and about being a girl

why do you even mean by that ? what do you mean by feeling off ? you are feeling off for being a girl, do you mean for being female ( i.e. a girl ) ?

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>>84816244
>Porn centered around ass, like anal.
Uhh, you know which hole a strapon usually goes in right? Lol

>>84816614
why and how would that make you happy/happier ?
being called a guy is in no way making you more of a man (becoming more male) . therefore becoming a man ( a male ) cannot be what you wish to be since you do not desire having a male body but only wish to be referred to as a man.

>>84816643
>Me when I never learned how to understand/empathize with other people so now everything I don't understand I immediately call retarded.
I'm not avoiding any question, you're just not accepting my answer. I already answered your question. Sorry if my answer doesn't make sense to you, but it's my answer and it's enough for me. And since it's my life, that means I can do it if I'd like to. No one is forcing you to believe me, or accept me, so I don't see why you're so pressed.
>do you mean for being female ( i.e. a girl ) ?
Yes, I don't see the difference though. I feel off about it. Like I was born wrong
>>84816651
Well I meant more like men fucking women in the ass anon
>>84816668
It'd make me feel supported and like they love me, because I'd only tell them irl if we're close. It'd make me feel like they see me and are fine with me.
I know I'll never be a man, so I don't see why you're trying to convince me of this if I already admitted that. I just want to be called and seen as one.

>>84816717
>I just want to be called and seen as one
Yes I get it, but you have not explained well why you want that.
Here is the situation : you wish you were a man
You know that you cannot become one. What behaviour do people in that situation usually follow :
1. trying to look like a man
2. incite/force a few people to refer to you as so a man by a few people ( your behaviour )
3. force everybody to refer to you as man ( what some do when the law unfortunately allows that )
4. changing nothing on behaviour

What I am pointing out is that the appellation "man" shouldn't satisfy your wish of being a man for it is completely superficial. while on the other hand, pooners do try to imitate manhood ( most of the time) by trying to look more male by increasing male dimorphic traits

>>84816841
damn I wrote terribly

>>84814388
Do you play a sport?

>>84816841
I already have short hair, I wear boxers, I buy male clothes.
But as I said, I don't want anything long lasting because I do not always feel that way. Sometimes I feel like a girl, and sometimes I don't. Why would I change so much about myself when I don't always feel like a guy? The only part of myself I would fully change is my vagina. But I'm scared of surgery and can't afford it.
>>84816858
It's okay, I can understand what you're saying

>>84816871
I want to. I like watching them.

>>84816890
>I want to. I like watching them.
Which one do you want to in particular? Do you think you have the aggression to play sports?

>>84816510
>I'm not sure convincing me of natural beauty would work. I already know about that
Oh this is about you?

Hm.. oh right, guess I wasn't paying attention to the rest of the thread

I'll say there's a big gap between understanding something intellectually and actually believing it

Also, you might not be thinking of tbe exact thing that I mean to say. Words are kind of vague when talking about this kind of stuff

>>84816118
>I'm trying to be comfortable with myself but IDK how
lol that's a lifelong process, I don't think anyone is until until they are old. The best piece of advice I got (which i sadly didn't pay much attention to at the time) was to just live life, be open to new experiences, say yes to things-not even talking about relationships, just life in general.
Making memories and experiencing new things, how your gut reacts in the moment, will all let you know about yourself.
sorry to resurrect this a couple hours late. But I'm glad the thread's still up and you are here

>>84816916
>kind of vague
highly multi-interpretable, many possible readings

>>84816878
dont do any body horror to yourself.
You still have not answered the question I am most curious about :
What do you mean when you say "feeling like a man"?
You did write "I don't physically feel like a man, but mentally I feel like one."

>>84816942
Yeah that's what vague means

>>84814512
Mike as gf

>>84814803
My only future

Depends on the context.

As a coworker or something like that, sure that is fine.
However I wouldn't want any sort of personal relationship with such a person, be it friends or something more.
And if they were family I would tell them to their face that they are being retarded/mentally ill and it would be my obligation not to play along with their delusions.

>>84816970
No, vague does not mean the same thing at all.
>>84816980
I wrote that and your reply is very sad.

>>84815603
Wow and to think this is my future

>>84817000
You're genuinely esl huh

>>84817018
Was that all you had? lol.

>>84816913
I like hockey but I wouldn't play it. I'd like to run track or do boxing. But I'm lazy and depressed. I like watching hockey though
>Do you think you have the aggression to play sports?
Maybe
>>84816916
What are you talking about then?
>>84816929
I'm trying to just live life. I'm kind of scared of new experiences though. I'm scared of something bad happening. I think I just need to get out of the house more.
>>84816960
>dont do any body horror to yourself
I don't plan on it
>What do you mean when you say "feeling like a man"?
I don't know it's just this feeling I have. I don't understand it myself. I think it started from me being jealous of men. Seeing all the stuff they do and wanting to do it exactly like them, in the exact same way. Not in the way a girl could do it, but in the way a guy could.
I've never actually felt like a man before, but sometimes I'll feel envy and jealousy over real men getting to be men.
I wish I could sometimes be a man, and when I feel like that, I say I feel like a man to make myself feel better about not actually being one.
I am a retard, I know it doesn't make sense, but it does to me. I am autistic
>>84816984
They don't actually believe they'll be a man though

>>84816960
reply or I am going to sleep

>>84817040
>They don't actually believe they'll be a man though
They are still a mentally unstable retard that I wouldn't want to associate with.

>>84817040
>What are you talking about then?
Well, it's hard to describe I guess. In a way, it's an innate sense that everything has goodness inside it, regardless of the state it may be in now
>I don't know it's just this feeling I have. I don't understand it myself. I think it started from me being jealous of men. Seeing all the stuff they do and wanting to do it exactly like them, in the exact same way. Not in the way a girl could do it, but in the way a guy could.
>I've never actually felt like a man before, but sometimes I'll feel envy and jealousy over real men getting to be men.
What kinds of things set off these feelings anon

>>84817040
so you're not dysphoric, that's good
>Seeing all the stuff they do and wanting to do it exactly like them
I can't think of anything women can't do but men can appart from fucking with a dick (which not all men get to do) and peak atheticism (which only a few are capable of )

So what you call "feeling like a man" is that jealousy you're talking about right ?
>I'll feel envy and jealousy over real men getting to be men
What can you envy from men if not their body ?

In your opinion, is what you feel what trannies feel when they say " I feel like X"?

>>84814388
That's just being genderfluid

>>84817110
nobody is genderfluid since nobody can change gender

>>84817086
Okay anon
>>84817092
>it's an innate sense that everything has goodness inside it
I already feel this. Some may argue too much. But I see beauty in everything and everyone. I love everything so much it's crazy
>What kinds of things set off these feelings anon
Seeing guys with partners, seeing fathers, seeing guys with their friends, seeing athletes, seeing guys in general doing anything I like doing because it makes me wish I could do it while being a man.
>>84817094
I am, I hate my vagina. I just don't plan on doing anything about it.
>I can't think of anything women can't do but men can appart from fucking with a dick
Well I know I can do basically all the same things, but I want to do it while another person sees it in a masculine or man way. Like I want to provide for someone like a man could, I know I could do that as a woman, but I want to do it as a man.
>What can you envy from men if not their body ?
I feel jealous over their camaraderie with other men sometimes. I want to be a man with male friends.
>In your opinion, is what you feel what trannies feel when they say " I feel like X"
Probably not, I imagine they feel different since their actually fully trans and I'm not
>>84817110
I don't like labels

>>84814388
That depends does she look like a girl or she tries to look like a guy also.

>>84817040
>I think I just need to get out of the house more.
as someone who doesn't get out enough, yes, that would help. getting over that hurdle of fear is the important part. you don't want to let it trap you to the point where you CANT go out. Trust me.
But at least you seem level headed enough to describe what you are feeling, even if you don't know why you feel or what to do about it. That's a good first step. And that you don't plan on going under the knife.

>>84817157
>I am, I hate my vagina.
That's really sad / pathetic
>in a masculine or man way
that doesn't mean anything kek
>camaraderie with other men sometimes. I want to be a man with male friends.
true friendship is rare, I have zero (0) friends yet I am a man. Most men and women don't have actual friends ( people they love) . That camaraderie you're talking about is a very superficial kind of relationship I wouldn't recommend it to anybody.

You just seem to be fantasizing about having a caricatural man life ( and a man's body). You want to do things "as a man" as if that is any different. how silly.

They are not trans though, nobody is since nobody can change gender.

>>84817251
It's always bizarre to see 4channers act like they're experts on the world despite this being the website for people who are disconnected with the world.

It would be nice if you communicated with a little more humility, a little more "I haven't personally experienced X therefore I have my doubts about X" instead of the arrogant "I haven't personally experienced X therefore X doesn't happen or doesn't exist".

>>84817162
Looks like a girl
>>84817242
I just don't know what to do when I leave my house. I hate being seen in public
>>84817251
I know it's pathetic, it's something I hate about myself. I've tried getting over it but I can't. I don't want to be like this, I want to be normal.
>that doesn't mean anything kek
It does to me
>That camaraderie you're talking about is a very superficial kind of relationship
I still feel jealous over it. I still want it. I want to be part of the group
>You want to do things "as a man" as if that is any different. how silly.
It would change stuff for me. It would mean people saw me as a man

>>84817287
>>84817287
The fuck are you talking about. I've been trying to tell how and why you feel this way.
You are talking about expertise when all I say is either common knowledge or basic logic ( finding counter examples that prove a statement wrong )

And I've never stated that you weren't dysphoric
I just said that you are dysphoric and pointed out that you have a caricatural perception of masculinity/of men

>>84817344
>I've been trying to tell how and why you feel this way.
Yeah, and how would you know what's going on inside another person's head? Similarly, why is the person with no friends supposed to be an expert on friendship? On multiple different topics, you have an inflated view of what you have to offer in a conversation.

Not OP, btw.

Nobody felt like this before the tranny brainwashing was spammed at school and in children's cartoons. It's just social brainwashing for the weak minded.

>>84817300
>It does to me
can you try to explain ?

>It would change stuff for me. It would mean people saw me as a man
man up and stop caring about validation

>I still feel jealous over it. I still want it. I want to be part of the group
I just explained how that thing you're talking about is undesirable. the fact that you still want it disgusts me, it is no different from your average female friendship. Get over this shit and find real friends

Please just answer with your next reply, I really really have to go to sleep, so say anything you have to say in your next reply

>>84817402
>can you try to explain ?
No because I don't know what it means. I just know it feels like something to me. It feels like a really big deal to me. It means they'll see me as a man, and not a woman. Which is what I want.
>man up and stop caring about validation
Why even say that when you're trying to basically put me off of wanting to be a man.
>Get over this shit and find real friends
I have friends. But I want that camaraderie, I can't help how I feel.

Go to sleep anon. Sleep well

>>84817369
>Yeah, and how would you know what's going on inside another person's head
because she's been telling me for hours what's going on in her head you stupid retard
>Similarly, why is the person with no friends supposed to be an expert on friendship?
there is no need to be an expert, just to have basic socialization which you must lack to even realize that, most people who say they have friends really just have very superficial friendships.

On multiple different topics, you have an inflated view of what you have to offer in a conversation.
I only talked about friendship and the fact that trannies don't exist, both of which only require either common knowledge and or / logic which, as discussed, you lack.

So do the right thing and do not express any of your retarded thought stemming from both poor knowledge and reasoning to anyone ever again.

>>84817443
>Why even say that when you're trying to basically put me off of wanting to be a man
that was a pun but I am sure you get the spirit

>I want that camaraderi
silly
>I can't help how I feel.
I can ( but I might be a bit weird )

Anyway, I hope you will get to feel better about yourself

night night

>>84814388
If she doesn't mind when I call her a faggot and isn't hideous (aka shaves her head or try to appear male like beyond having short hair) then its fine. Also no tattoos or drugs.

>>84817300
>I hate being seen in public
The past year or 2, life forced me to be out more than I wanted. Ultimately it was good exposure therapy. I hope it would be the same for you, but idk. It got me to the point where idgaf about what other people think I mean, I'm still an introvert, but now I'm a callous and jaded introvert (prob not a good thing lol)
I'm guessing these threads are a bit like that for you, in a way. helping you talk through what you feel so you can understand it better. At least it seems that way

>>84814388
I remember you from your first thread where there was a butch tranny trying to groom you into taking hormones.

>>84816878
>I already have short hair, I wear boxers, I buy male clothes.
That's not being a man. You're just playing dressup.
Maybe you're enamored with the aesthethics of being a man and not with the BEING a man part of the thing. You want to be seen as a man, but not to be a man in the literal sense. Most troons don't want to be a man either, they just wanna play pretend.

>>84817040
>I'm trying to just live life. I'm kind of scared of new experiences though. I'm scared of something bad happening.
Feminine behaviour from a female-minded being

>>84817040
>I think it started from me being jealous of men
Quick someone call the penis envy anon here

>>84817040
>Seeing all the stuff they do and wanting to do it exactly like them, in the exact same way. Not in the way a girl could do it, but in the way a guy could.
>I'll feel envy and jealousy over real men getting to be men.
You'll just end up being a fake-man that can't do stuff like a guy could. I'm a man and I can't do things other men can. I'm a tiny, unathletic imbecile that never dated or been seen as a "man" by other men and women, just as a "human" that tags along with them.
If not even I, a biological man, can do it, how come you, a biological woman, even imagine you can pretend to be a man?

>>84817500
Night
>>84817501
My friend already jokingly calls me that so I don't care.
All the other stuff is fine too.
I'm sober for 2 years now
>>84817536
I think once I get a job it'll fix me up. Currently searching rn.
Yeah, I just need to vent so I can better understand it myself. Because I'm still so confused about myself.
>>84817542
I don't think that was me? I don't remember that happening
>>84817559
>>84814735 read.
I want to be the provider, I want to take care of my partner, I want to fill that "male" role in the relationship
>>84817566
Well I am female. Crazy right? I've never denied that once
>>84817571
I already had him in my thread before once

>>84817588
Can you read? I already said I'm not transitioning.

>>84817594
Can't you read? I didn't say you were going to transition either. But you want to feel like a man and are jealous of men doing "men stuff", and I'm simply saying even some men can't do it, so a woman that yearns for that will be even farther away from reaching what they yearn for.

>>84817614
Why does that matter if I find the right person who will call me a man though? If I prove myself as a good partner

>>84817590
>Well I am female. Crazy right? I've never denied that once
So you have male "tendencies" and "cravings" but your brain operates like a female and you simply admit you think like a woman.
I honestly don't understand your mental retardation, this goes beyond the simple tranny stuff. You have a mythological imagination about what means to be a man and wants to not be one but just to be in the role of a man (that you can't even properly define besides saying you're jealous of camaradaire, general agression in sports, and being a provider or whatever, stuff that don't define a person as "being a man")/
Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you? Is this some type of spiritual-tranny thing where your soul feels like male but you won't become male nor think like a male nor act like a male but deep down still feel like a man? Not even troons have this level of mental delusion.

>>84817629
>Why does that matter if I find the right person who will call me a man though? If I prove myself as a good partner
Why do you want to be called a man though, if you don't want to transition nor want to be a man nor act like a man?
inb4 I wanna be a provider and take care of my partner, no, women also take care of their partners and "providing" isn't a male exclusive behaviour since the wage gap isn't real.

>>84817590
>I just need to vent so I can better understand it myself.
Well you are in the right place. Take away the shitpost threads and the porn, that's mostly what r9k is.
What sort of job are you looking for? anything with a paycheck or a specific field?

>>84817652
Damned if I do, damned if I don't. I admitted I know I'm a female, and you're mad, but if I said differently, you'd still be mad.

You talk exactly like the other anon, are you him?

I already admitted I'm autistic, so what's confusing about my "mental retardation" when I just told you what it was.

And you're making up stuff, I like sports but not once did I say I liked the aggression in sports. Maybe you're the delusional one.
I already said, I only feel this way sometimes.
>>84817674
Because I just want it. I don't see what's so difficult to understand. Haven't y'all ever wanted something? Even though you didn't need it. It would make me happy, it would make me feel better about myself. Why is it so bad to want something?
>>84817684
Any job that will hire me. So far, not going too good since I don't have any experience with jobs or job hunting. But I'm gonna apply to like every place around me

>>84817715
>Because I just want it. I don't see what's so difficult to understand. Haven't y'all ever wanted something?
>Call me "Engineer"
>No dude you don't have an engineering degree and you don't practice anything that could be warrant you to be called an engineer
>Nuh uh call me engineer, because I want to!!

No, that doesn't make sense to me, you're the one that gotta explain it to me. Why does reality have to bend to call you something you aren't and can't be, just because it supposedly feels good? It IS bad to want to be something you can't ever be, because you'll always be frustrated with the impossibility of actually being it.
Imagine instead of wanting to be a man, you wanted to be a dragon, and you insisted people call you a dragon. You don't want to wear fake scales or wings, you just want to be called dragon because "you wanna".
You have to face reality that you can't be a dragon and won't ever be, you'll have a happier and healthier life than if you had someone enabling your unfulfillable yearning.
Honestly getting a job would be great, because it seems you don't have much real life experience.

>>84817757
The difference is I'm not trying to force anyone into believing in me or affirming me. I already said that. I haven't told anyone irl, and I'd only tell my partner if I knew they were fine with it, and even then I wouldn't force them to be okay with it. As I've already said in this thread. I'm not interested in forcing it on anyone.
>You have to face reality that you can't be a dragon and won't ever be
Read. The. Thread. I already know that.
>it seems you don't have much real life experience.
>Person on the no experience board making fun of me for having no experience
Okay.

>>84817715
well good luck out there in the job market, it's not great right now. At least not for me.
Based on what you've said, I imagine college would be like throwing you into a lions den. But I guess that could be an option for you as well, right?

>>84817776
>Read. The. Thread. I already know that.
No you don't, or else you wouldn't even make this thread. You say that but you keep reinforcing that you want to be called a man by your future partner with no real motive for doing so.
>Person on the no experience board making fun of me for having no experience
kek seems like I struck a nerve.

>>84817779
I hope it gets better for you anon, and that you can find a nice job
And yeah, college is on my plans eventually. Definitely not rn, I'm giving me a year break, but it will happen. I've already got certain schools I'm eyeing.
But it is definitely less than exciting to think about all the people that will be there. So I'm hoping to quickly get me a job and get as used to it as I can before going off to school.
>>84817813
Why do I need a motive for it? I don't get it. I want it, so I'll do it. Explain to me the problem with that. If me and my partner are fine and we keep it private, why does it matter? Why are you so upset by it?
>kek seems like I struck a nerve
Not really I'm on the toilet rn

>>84817852
>If me and my partner are fine and we keep it private, why does it matter?
You don't keep it private, since you made a thread, asking opinions about it and trying to learn more about your deranged sexuality.
>Explain to me the problem with that
Already did it, you just refused to read, or refused to understand due to your autism.
>Not really I'm on the toilet rn
You wouldn't even point that out if you weren't mad.

>>84817866
You're avoiding the question.
And anyways, I meant keeping it private irl. I don't care what I talk about on here

>>84817852
Thanks. And I hope you get into the schools you are shooting for. idk if it's something you've looked at, but a junior college/commuter school might be more your speed, ease you into it. Provided they have classes and degrees that transfer well

>>84817888
I already answered it. Its the same as you asking your partner to call your dick "big" even if you have a microdick.
First, its a lie that both of you know its simply a lie.
Second, the dicotomy from seeing your tiny dick while your partner calls it big will just bring you attention to how small it is.
Third, if your partner actually saw you like that, they would call you that without needing to be prompted, its not genuine, and that might cause you even more dysphoria when you notice that.
Fourth, if you simply accept the fact that you have a microdick and your partner is with you regardless of it, you don't need to ask to play pretend and will lead a way happier and healthier life.
inb4 I have accepted that I can't be a man and won't ever be one -> You're still asking your partner to play pretend with you, so you haven't accepted that for real and wants your partner to validate that urge.

>>84817926
>junior college/commuter school
What's that?
>>84817940
No I want you to answer my other question I asked. >>84817852
>Why are you so upset by it?
It doesn't affect you, so why so mad about it baby?

>>84817972
Once again you ignore my reply. Its quite obvious you're sating your autogynephillia with this gay ass thread, but as long as you're getting annoyed with my replies it satisfies me.

>>84817992
What does that mean? But I wasn't ignoring it, I was just saying that It was the wrong question I wanted you to answer

>>84817972
Junior college offers 2-year degrees instead of the usual 4. Commuter colleges are where there are little or no on campus housing, the students drive in every day.
While you can get degrees from them, a lot of people use them to ease into college life before transferring to a larger school. You can also do the same with a smaller state school before transferring to a bigger university.
At least that's how it works here in the US (I can't remember if you said you were American or not. sorry)

>>84818018
I am from the US. And yes, thank you for bringing that to my attention, I'll look into it. Thank you. It does sound like something I would prefer
Anyways, how is your night going?

>>84818034
its been ok. I accidentally dozed off in the early evening, and I think it messed up my sleep schedule. I've just been browsing 4chan and watching TV since I'm not falling asleep.
How has yours been? Besides answering all these questions from anons, I mean.

>>84818061
Mines pretty messed up too for some reason. Except I've been sleeping too much, on and off basically all day. Still feeling tired so after a little I might go to bed.
Whatcha watching?
Mine has been good actually. I've been in a good mood all day and it's continued through the night too. Been watching TV and laying in bed. And also pacing around while listening to music. But I had to stop pacing cause my legs are cramping up and won't stop.
Anyways I like talking on here, so I don't really mind them or their questions

>>84818101
my problem was I did a bunch of work outside in the hottest part of the day (dumb), so I crashed when I had a chance to sit down.
Mostly watched anime. I finished S2 of Dorohedoro, then watched the latest of Scum of the Brave and Daemons of the Shadow Realm. Debating on watching anything else... any recs?
>legs are cramping
mustard or anything with turmeric might help. or tonic/mineral water, but I doubt most people keep that on hand.
I'm glad you've been in a good mood, and that this thread helps. You do seem pretty positive and unbothered by the barrage

>>84814388
I'd worry if you know yourself well enough to promise never transitioning. But otherwise yes.

>>84817157
>I already feel this. Some may argue too much. But I see beauty in everything and everyone. I love everything so much it's crazy
Do you? That's an interesting thing to say. And yet later in this same post
>I hate my vagina.
At risk of sounding to trite, sometimes you are the hardest person to love
>Seeing guys with partners, seeing fathers, seeing guys with their friends, seeing athletes, seeing guys in general doing anything I like doing because it makes me wish I could do it while being a man
So lots of different areas

When you see men engaging in activities like that, what do you feel is different about the way that they do it opposed to the way that women do it?

Sry for dipping so long btw

>>84818165
Well, I hope you're able to get your schedule back on track anon.
And sorry, I don't really watch anime so I don't have a recommendation.
And yeah I don't really have any of that on hand at all, not even the mustard. I'm thinking I'll just massage it out.
Talking stuff out really helps me, and it helps that some people in this thread, like you, were nice enough to have an actual conversation with me.
I don't really mind all the hate, I knew I'd get some for even just posting here.
>>84818167
Thank you for answering!!
>>84818244
Well, I don't love myself but I'm pretty in love with everything else. I got bullied in school and now I'll never see myself the same again I feel like. Ever since then I've hated myself.
>what do you feel is different about the way that they do it opposed to the way that women do it?
Well for one, they're seen as men when they do it. And I feel like they're taken more seriously. Like sports for example, female athletes are treated like jokes, especially basketball.
>Sry for dipping so long btw
It's okay

Sorry, OP here, I need to go to bed. Goodnight, I hope y'all all have a nice night

>>84818268
you didn't have to recommend any anime lol, you could suggest anything you think is interesting. Or boring even, if you want to help me sleep.
I always try to have genuine conversations with people here, whenever I see effortposting or someone being genuine themselves. Maybe its a little therapeutic for me? idk
>bullied in school
I'm sorry to hear that. Like I said above you seem pretty level headed despite all these feelings. You mentioned autism as well, those things probably made you a bit of an "other" compared to your classmates.
If its any consolation, however you approach college can be a good way to break free of some of that trauma

>>84818330
gn OP, hopefully I'll catch you around if you make another thread.

>>84818268
>Well, I don't love myself but I'm pretty in love with everything else. I got bullied in school and now I'll never see myself the same again I feel like. Ever since then I've hated myself
Well, that is pretty hard to overcome
>Well for one, they're seen as men when they do it.
Ok but like what specifically descriminates men in your brain
>And I feel like they're taken more seriously. Like sports for example, female athletes are treated like jokes, especially basketball.
Well, yeah I can't deny that. Women are pretty silly from a male perspective
>>84818330
Oh, gn op

since you hate your vagina does that mean no vaginal sex?
>I want to be the provider, I want to take care of my partner
is it a problem if your partner is self-sufficient then?

>>84814388
No. I'm fine with tomboys, not delusions.

>>84814388
I had that as a gf. Didn't peg me. Relationship was shit. Sex was shit. She was abusive.

Only the most sub of repressed fags would do that so he has a boyfriend in a non gay way.
I hater her lack of feminity Jesus Christ. No class. No affection. Just cringe

>>84820010
>oooo i want a tomboy gf
>gets tomboy gf
>wtf i hate her lack of femininity
you got what you asked for

Surprised this is still up, I'll answer all the questions from last night and answer the new ones

>>84818345
I love effort posting, it's one of my favorite things ever. It's so fun to talk to people on here
>made you a bit of an "other" compared to your classmates.
Yeah, I made me feel like there was this big sign pointing at me telling everyone how messed up and weird I am. Like they could just tell by looking at me that something was wrong.
>however you approach college can be a good way to break free of some of that trauma
Hope so
>>84818354
Probably not about this specific thing for a while. But I do make other threads
>>84818363
>Well, that is pretty hard to overcome
I'm working on it
>like what specifically descriminates men in your brain
I don't know how to explain it. I want to be seen as manly by another person, or as a man by another person. I know it doesn't make sense but I have lots of problems with myself, and how I view myself, and I've had them ever since 2020 when I started having problems with dissociating. Not saying it's connected but it's just something I can't explain. It's just how I feel.
>Women are pretty silly from a male perspective
What's silly about us?
>>84818367
No vaginal sex.
And I don't really care if my partner is self sufficient, in fact I encourage it, cause you never know what might happen and I wouldn't want to leave them vulnerable.
>>84818742
Okay anon
>>84820010
Sorry she was abusive.
Why date her if you hated her lack of feminity?

>>84820240
>Okay anon
What's so bad about being tomboy that you'd rather prefer this pathetic delusion? It doesn't even sound like silly roleplay.

>>84820267
Being a tomboy isn't the same as being a man. I don't have any problems with tomboys but they're still women, and the way I want it, I want to be seen as a man. And I don't want this "delusion", I just feel this way. If I could be normal I would

>>84820099
>>84820240
That's the worst part, she wasn't a tomboy, she was a complete normie looking average girl. But anything going in the direction of being feminine (behaviour or wearing a dress, a skirt etc) was repulsive to her.
Anyway why did i date her? I was a virgin, very young, low self esteem, and a girl gave me attention so of course I fell for it.
That was more than 15 years ago. I've learned my lesson.

>>84820293
I wear feminine clothes sometimes, but only around my room cause I hate dressing up to go in public cause I hate attention being drawn to me. I have drawers filled of skirts and dresses.

I hope you're able to find a better relationship anon. Sorry that happened though

>>84820276
And I want to be seen as attractive. You can want whatever you want, doesn't change reality and fact that it's just delusion. You will never be a man. Trying to be a man as a woman is notonly pathetic but probably damaging as well while there is literally nothing wrong with being tomboy. I don't see why would you cause yourself more problems than you already get thrown at you by life. It's like some kind of masochism.

>>84820333
I already know all that. Wanting something isn't a delusional, it's just wanting something. And if I want to be called a man sometimes I don't see the problem. So far I have not been given one good reason not to that wasn't just insults and them calling me retarded. I don't mean to cause more problems for myself, like I said, I've tried not wanting this but I can't help it. I'm jealous of men, I want to be a man sometimes.

>>84820240
>I'm working on it
Good to hear anon
>I don't know how to explain it. I want to be seen as manly by another person, or as a man by another person. I know it doesn't make sense but I have lots of problems with myself, and how I view myself, and I've had them ever since 2020 when I started having problems with dissociating. Not saying it's connected but it's just something I can't explain. It's just how I feel.
Hm okay. Seems like it probably is connected imo. I mean just thinking about it
>what's silly
Women never take anything seriously by men's standards

>>84820359
>I don't mean to cause more problems for myself, like I said, I've tried not wanting this but I can't help it. I'm jealous of men, I want to be a man sometimes.
That's the contradiction. You will never be a man so this jealousy will never go away. What you're doing is shitty, temporary bandaid that will most likely help you less and less as the time goes on. It's like accepting friendship when you've been rejected: you desire something, play around with it, but you'll never get it, only prolonging your suffering. It's vicious cycle. Instead of suffering constantly you'd be better off simply finding joy in something actually possible, like being tomboy. Both require effort but only one leads to solution where negative emotion won't come back.
Why being tomboy isn't enough given reality of your nature?

>>84820360
>Good to hear anon
Yeah, I'm starting by trying to stop insulting myself and stuff. Like not referring to myself in a bad light by calling myself ugly or something. Cause my main problem is with my face, so it's pretty difficult to overcome.
>I mean just thinking about it
You think so? My therapist said my dissociating was just a coping mechanism. I do daydream a lot and feel out of reality, in some of my daydreams I imagine myself as a man.
>Women never take anything seriously by men's standards
Wdym?
>>84820400
Except being just a "tomboy" will also have negative side affects because I'll be denying myself and denying and pushing down what I so badly want.
>Why being tomboy isn't enough given reality of your nature?
Because it's not what I want. I don't want to be a manly girl, I want to be a man. I know I'll never be one, and I don't even want to fully be one all the time, I just want it sometimes

>>84820400
>>84820437
Also, Being just a tomboy would be like being starving and getting a small bite of food, of what you want, but not being able to eat the full meal because you have to hold yourself back from it

>>84820437
>>84820449
What you're doing is taking small bit of food but not being able to get whole meal. If you abandon idea of wanting to be man, being tomboy will be fine.
>but I want to be man, I don't want to be tomboy
I told you it will also take effort. Changing yourself always takes effort. Difference is taking effort to embrace being tomboy will result in more comfort then taking effort to pretend to be man.

>>84814388
Never met a girl who wanted me to call her a good boy
Mostly it's the other way around

>>84820437
>Yeah, I'm starting by trying to stop insulting myself and stuff. Like not referring to myself in a bad light by calling myself ugly or something. Cause my main problem is with my face, so it's pretty difficult to overcome.
That's great! Goes a long way
>You think so? My therapist said my dissociating was just a coping mechanism. I do daydream a lot and feel out of reality, in some of my daydreams I imagine myself as a man.
Well I just mean, if you're disconnected from youraelf in a general sense it'll be easier to kind of force other things into your identity
>>84820437
>Wdym
Women don't care as much about things. Remember that one video that went around a few years ago of the zoomer chicks dancing in the office? Remember how every man fucking hated that video? Yeah, it's because when you do that shit at work you're basically saying "my job isn't important, I'm just here to play around." Don't get me wrong, men love jokes and will tell them at work and whatnot, but every man hates a slacker, even a funny slacker. Thats why women are silly. They just, aren't serious. Same reason why you never see women arguing about which tank would win in a theoretical alternate history matchup or whatever(I guess the female equivalent would be something like which pop star is better, but you know what I mean)
>Because it's not what I want. I don't want to be a manly girl, I want to be a man. I know I'll never be one, and I don't even want to fully be one all the time, I just want it sometimes
This is one of those rock and hard place situations where you just have to bite the bullet one way or the other

>>84820479
I don't know how to be fine being myself. And don't say just change, because it's not that easy. I don't know how to be fine with "just being a tomboy" because that's not what I want
>>84820487
I don't think I'd want to be called a good boy
>>84820490
>if you're disconnected from youraelf in a general sense it'll be easier to kind of force other things into your identity
Oh okay. Wdym by force?
> slacker. Thats why women are silly. They just, aren't serious.
Oh okay, I see what you mean. I can be pretty not serious sometimes, but only around my friends. I'm quiet basically everywhere else.
But I get what you mean I suppose. I hate when people mess around too much and never treat anything serious.
>where you just have to bite the bullet one way or the other
I think for now I'll just continue wanting it and not being able to have it.

>>84820538
>And don't say just change, because it's not that easy.
I know that well because I had to work on myself and it was year long effort that didn't even make miracle, but improved my life by substantial amount. I still have traits I used to have but I can function in society now, hold a job and be relatively good at it. That's why I keep mentioning effort, yet you reply like I implied it's some "just do it, it's ez", like normie retards like to say because they don't care about you, they just want to feel good about themselves and in the eyes of others look like they did a good deed.

>>84820538
>Oh okay. Wdym by force?
I just mean it would be easier for things to pop up in your identity that wouldn't necessarily be there "by default"
>Oh okay, I see what you mean. I can be pretty not serious sometimes, but only around my friends. I'm quiet basically everywhere else.
>But I get what you mean I suppose. I hate when people mess around too much and never treat anything serious.
Well it's not necessarily about being super stoic and quiet vs being funny and rambunctious. More like, women have less of an emotional stake in their material surroundings
>I think for now I'll just continue wanting it and not being able to have it.
You can only do that for so long

>>84820601
How did you work on yourself? My psychiatrist said my dissociating was a coping mechanism for my real life problems, so I don't think they'll stop until my real life problems go away. So I don't even know how to begin working on it. It's been a problem since I was 12. It's so ingrained in me. And plus, even if I was fine with being just a girl, I think being a tomboy would remind me too much of what I actually want.
>>84820613
>just mean it would be easier for things to pop up in your identity that wouldn't necessarily be there "by default"
Oh okay i see what you mean. Maybe
>More like, women have less of an emotional stake in their material surroundings
I'm a little slow, can you explain what you mean by this too. Sorry
>You can only do that for so long
I know, but maybe it'll eventually go away.

>>84820681
>Oh okay i see what you mean. Maybe
The idea I'm going with is, if you're dissociated, you're not really living as "you", right? You're kind of disconnected from what "you" is. So it's easier for "you" to change, because it doesn't have as much definition
>I'm a little slow, can you explain what you mean by this too. Sorry
Basically, I think it boils down to the fact that a man's personal identity boils down to what he can accomplish in the world far more than a woman. Female ambition looks like gaining social status and having everyone *think of you as being* important. Male ambition is more like being so good at something that people *have* to see you as important. That's why men so much more often have material focused hobbies, like working on cars and shit like that. As a man, what you can do or what you can make define your identity and role in society far more than for women. So women don't really treat that stuff with the same kind of reverence.

Probably the best point of reference is if you've ever met a male clean freak. They are a bit different from the female neat freaks you'll notice.
>I know, but maybe it'll eventually go away
Well, yeah, I guess there is always that

>>84820746
>you're not really living as "you", right?
Right, it makes everything about me feel different. Like wrong or like I should be different
>As a man, what you can do or what you can make define your identity and role in society far more than for women.
Ohhh I see what you mean.
>Well, yeah, I guess there is always that
Also maybe if I ever actually experience having a partner call me a man, maybe I won't like it. But that's probably just cope. Should I tell my psychiatrist about this? Do you think she could help me solve it. I've never told anyone irl

>>84820868
>Right, it makes everything about me feel different. Like wrong or like I should be different
Yeah, so it makes sense that it would be connected with any identity changes I think
>Also maybe if I ever actually experience having a partner call me a man, maybe I won't like it. But that's probably just cope. Should I tell my psychiatrist about this? Do you think she could help me solve it. I've never told anyone irl
Well if you're asking my opinion, I would just tell you that that sort of thing is what psychiatrists are for and if you don't feel comfortable telling yours that probably means they aren't great at their job

>>84820681
>How did you work on yourself?
In my case I am sperg who was awful at social interactions. My brain was turning into mess when I had to answer in front of others in school or when I had to ask shopkeeper for something. Especially when they asked something or said something unexpected. I sometimes fantasized about being someone else without my drawbacks, though I think they were just typical power fantasies of bitter teenager who was outcasted by others due to being weird. At some point I decided to fix it and made conversation flowcharts and repeated questions I had to ask before making phone calls to not fall into awkward silence where I don't know what to say or forgot what I had to ask. I trained by approaching shopkeepers and asking them where something I'm interested in is. I messaged girls on websites.
There are things you can't learn, you can only train because brain gets better at whatever you are doing as it simply assumes if it happens often then it probably is important to some degree. You have built-in mechanism for evaluation of success and pattern recognition. You can mold your own brain connections to some degree by exposing it to stuff. I put effort into my flowcharts and memorization, I put effort into trying and it paid off.
1/x

>>84820933
I was pathetic at the end of high school. Within around year I could hold conversation with relative ease. By the end of university I developed courage and initiative, and got rid of lot of useless shame because I realized there are no bad consequences for it, even if you make mistake clerks are more likely to correct you instead of making fun of you, and they have so many such cases they all blend in and they don't care. When I was put into group work with girls I saw how everyone just look at each other and if they proposed something, they always made sure to say something like "but it's just suggestion, we don't have to do this if you don't want to", leaving themselves escape route. It was like everyone was afraid of consequences and responsibility. Since I never liked group work, I was getting more annoyed by it than afraid of coming out with suggestions, so I started to come out with ideas in more commanding tone than them and to my surprise it felt like they were all glad someone else took the burden and potential blame, even though chance for blame and bad consequences were near zero. I remember when I was waiting in front of some professor room waiting for them to sign our grades and after some time being annoyed by waiting I started to wonder if there is even anyone inside so I knocked and peeked inside, finding out professor didn't even know we were waiting and he was receiving no one. We all waited for fucking nothing because we were too afraid to fucking knock. And because I knocked, I was first to get my grade and fuck off from that place, saving more time.
2/x

>>84820937
Through experience and rationalization I got rid of shame, worry and those unrealistic fantasies I had. I thought about it and it simply made no sense to be afraid when there are no bad consequences and wish for something that will never be possible. Instead I started to focus on small, simple, actually achievable things. Like reading funny story in game. Or focusing on the feeling of stretching on bed. Or warmth of sun on skin. These are all really good, natural feelings that boost your mood without need to fantasize and bullshit yourself, most people just tend to ignore them and seek more stimulating experiences.
Nowdays I work with lot of people and have no problem speaking in front of crowd, I even learned how to joke around a bit, but I'm still sperg who doesn't say "hi" or whatever because I automatically response with memorized "good morning" that worked for years. But it's much better than looking surprised, staying silent and being seen as some weirdo. I still have hard time with casual talks about nothing and function better within hierarchy with planned goals in professional setting. So it's not like I'm perfect, but I succeeded enough to get by and not need to cope with fantasies of being someone else.
3/x

>>84820943
>My psychiatrist said my dissociating was a coping mechanism for my real life problems, so I don't think they'll stop until my real life problems go away.
I wouldn't be surprised. I find therapies meme because most of them make up shit when actual root are just life problems. Psychiatrists are probably more honest about it than psychologists because they actually write you meds and they are bound by law so there is a little more risk to them wwriting needles meds when problem can be solved without it.
>So I don't even know how to begin working on it.
What are your real life problems in the first place? And what's so bad about being woman since you want to be man so bad?
>And plus, even if I was fine with being just a girl, I think being a tomboy would remind me too much of what I actually want.
I think you're stuck between two ideal, binary options, seeing being tomboy as something worse, when in reality being tomboy is natural compromise for outliers. Even though most people fall within average range within gaussian distribution, there will always be outliers. Be it effeminate men or women with more manly approach to life. Those labels exist because there were people like you before. This is how they functioned, this is what they have been. It's not that tomboy is cope for you because you can't be man. It's that tomboy is what you are if you are more attracted to manly style of life, entertainment or whatever as a girl. And there is nothing wrong with it. You won't run away from everything about being girl, like you still might be mother and you obviously won't be stronger than man due to natural limitations, but there is nothing wrong with mother engaging in stereotypical male interests. If anything, it would be fun to truly share interests with your partner. I wish I had women who would actually enjoy coming with me to shooting range or be enthusiastic on having workshop where we'd do all kinds of stuff for home.
4/4

>>84814388
drop the wants to be called a guy thing (that's fucking gay) and yes. tomboys are best girls.

>>84820896
I do trust her, it's just embarrassing and I don't want anyone else finding out irl. I know she legally can't say anything about it to other people, but I always have this fear that they'll somehow know.
>>84820953
What's even so nice about tomboys? I don't get it

>>84821067
>I do trust her, it's just embarrassing and I don't want anyone else finding out irl. I know she legally can't say anything about it to other people, but I always have this fear that they'll somehow know
Yeah I get that. Like saying it out loud makes it realer somehow. I get that too. And I like hiding things from people as well. But again. Rock and hard place. If you want her help with it, you gotta ask.
>What's even so nice about tomboys
They're not bitchy and manipulative

>>84821067
>What's even so nice about tomboys? I don't get it
see ending of >>84820947
From perspective of man it's fun. Normally most relationships are more about compromise than perfect matching. You get family, sex and all the other relationship stuff but you also get nagging because your interests conflict and she doesn't like what you do, has different expectations etc. It's like picking a movie to watch with a girl. Sure, it would be cool to watch some Dirty Harry or something, but she'll probably be bored of it. What she likes might be boring for you, so you decide to pick Idiocracy which is fun, inoffensive, has some little romantic element in it, should be fine. If your girl liked what you like, you could watch both Dirty Harry and Idiocracy together, not just Idiocracy. It's like you'd have both true friend and lover. If your interests align there is naturally less stuff to bitch and nag about. Basically tomboys have huge potential for perfect partners, the only problem is
>they are statistically minority so most men will have to deal with normal women
>these days they often get duped into tranny shit and they ruin themselves with delusions instead of just being themselves and enjoying what they are: tomboys
Also don't confuse tomboy-looks with tomboys. Tomboyism was originally about behavior and interests firest and foremost, looks were just consequences and weren't always the case. On the internet you'll see people gushing over tomboys without knowing anything about girl, they just like shorter hair etc.

>>84820240
wow I'm surprised its up as well (i'm the anon your first two replies are for). Hopefully you got a better nights rest that what I did.
>>84820868
>Should I tell my psychiatrist
I know I'm butting in to your convo with that other anon here. But if you do, I would sorta slowly ease into it. I know you said you trust her, but I've had bad experiences and seen with others where the psychs end up herding you along to a decision/choice that THEY have a predilection for. not necessarily best for YOU.
I'm a big believer in working things out for yourself, using others only for guidance and a sounding board only. As long as she is that for you, I guess you'd be ok.

>>84820933
>My brain was turning into mess when I had to answer in front of others in school
This happens to me too, one time back in school I almost passed out trying to read a presentation in front of my class. It was so embarrassing
>Especially when they asked something or said something unexpected
This is also a problem for me, but it's because of my dissociating problem. It makes stuff, and people, not feel real. So when they do something unexpected, it reminds me they are real and I freak out.
>I sometimes fantasized about being someone else without my drawbacks
This is what I do.
>You can mold your own brain connections to some degree by exposing it to stuff
How do I even do it with this problem though? By doing girly things? I already do that.
>>84820937
I feel shame for a lot of stuff.
I'm happy to hear you improved yourself though! I hope things keep getting better for you.
>>84820943
Maybe I do need to focus on enjoying more small things.
I need to learn how to talk to people too.
>>84820947
>I find therapies meme
A therapist just didn't work for me. They just gave me dumb advice like drink more water and go on walks. It didn't help at all. I only had one after my dad died when I was in 5th grade, then I got tired of it and switched completely to only seeing a psychiatrist. My one I have now is good and lets me speak out my problems while also giving me good advice and medicine that has all helped so far.
1/2

>>84820947
>What are your real life problems in the first place
It's mainly my family and how I was raised. Also school, since I only just recently graduated (I'm 18). My family is abusive and loves messing with me knowing I get easily scared and easily overwhelmed, and they find it funny to make me freak out. They always have. My mom used to find it funny how much I'd get scared over her hitting me with her belt. But also, I basically live in like a hoarders looking house, broken floorboards, broken stuff all throughout the house. I try to keep it as clean as I can, but I live with a lot of people so I can't keep up with them. And back in school, throughout every grade I was bullied. I was also isolated and the only place I was allowed to go was school. So I went from being bullied at home, to being bullied at school, everyday throughout my entire childhood. And my sister liked torturing me, she liked chasing me around with weapons and embarrassing me on purpose. I also have bad health problems. I know this all just sounds like useless complaining but there hasn't been a single moment I can recall, where I haven't wished I was someone else. Just entirely a different person with a different life.
>And what's so bad about being woman since you want to be man so bad
I don't think there's anything bad about being a woman, I like it. I just also sometimes wish I could be a man. Idk
I know being a woman means I have advantages I wouldn't have if I were a man, but I can't help but want it. I wish I could just stand up for myself and make them all stop
>be mother
I do want to be a mother one day.

>>84821190
Are you the one southern anon that has that medical condition where your vagina won't open/is too tight or however that works

>>84821123
>Like saying it out loud makes it realer somehow
Yeah,and I wish it wasn't real. I just want to be normal
>If you want her help with it, you gotta ask.
I'll ask her about it. Also, thank you for talking with me so much
>They're not bitchy and manipulative
I'm sure that's not true for all of them though lol. But I get what you mean.
>>84821167
I guess I do get that. But I feel like I wouldn't be considered a tomboy, I don't really do anything considered "masculine". Besides watching sports, liking action movies, and some other stuff. I guess I don't really act feminine either though.
>>84821171
I got a good night's sleep. I think it's cause I exhausted myself out from all that pacing around I did.
How did your night go?
Yeah, I think I am too trusting of her. My mom doesn't like her cause she thinks I'm on too many meds. But they work for me
I just don't know how to work it out for myself. Like I specifically don't know how to fix it.
>>84821214
Yeah how did you know? I'm just going through something rn. My new med has me thinking too much

>>84821186
>>84821190
>How do I even do it with this problem though? By doing girly things? I already do that.
Since your problem seems to be not being able to stand up for yourself, I'd say solution for you is to practice not sex related stuff, but courage and assertiveness. Engaging in manly hobbies isn't going to magically make you stand up for yourself, nor turn you into man. Not to mention men can't make them all stop because law sees us as default perpetrators and there would be decent risk of us getting fucked over when all we wanted was actual justice. You could try to copy what worked for me for your speaking problems, maybe succeeding in it would help you a bit with confidence as success generally helps with confidence, but it won't solve all your problems, only one of them and maybe help a little with the other.
As for your family, on one hand some teasing like that is normal to some extent, people like to make fun of and pick on each other and later remember it as fun episodes to reminiscence during family gatherings, but on the other hand torture (depends on what you mean), chasing around with weapons do sound like pathological, broken family. Broken stuff too isn't great, but it's just life that we don't get to pick where we're born, sometimes we're born into poverty and have to get out of it ourselves, sometimes it's fine. Basically whole spectrum between pimping out your children and having loving family you can have fun with. I myself come from broken home.
You could try to get back at them, but I don't know whether it was just plauful or really being shitty. If it was playful then typically you earn respect by playing back. If someone pulls prank on you, you pull prank on them. But it has to be seen as playful, otherwise people think you're acting out like aggressive retard. If it's sadistic pathology then I don't know if there is any solution other than getting out of home.

>>84821263
>Yeah,and I wish it wasn't real. I just want to be normal
Relatable
>I'll ask her about it. Also, thank you for talking with me so much
Yeah sure. Good to hear you feel resolved to make a step like that
>I'm sure that's not true for all of them though lol. But I get what you mean.
In general though. They just, lie less.
>Yeah how did you know? I'm just going through something rn. My new med has me thinking too much
Idk. Because you sound like... you? Humans recognize patterns in other humans you know

I actually talked to you on discord quite a bit a while back. Sorry about dropping off there. I'm bad at keeping in contact with people

>>84821263
>How did your night go?
eh, I was restless then got up early, only had a couple hours of actual sleep
>too trusting of her
yeah that's my concern for you. Although based on what you described of your home life, I can understand why you don't want to trust your mom either. I guess what'd I'd say is always be cautions, don't make drastic changes quickly.
>don't know how to work it out for myself
yeah its tough. You can use these resources, but just always make sure its you making the choices, not others

>>84821190
>>84821263
>I don't think there's anything bad about being a woman, I like it. I just also sometimes wish I could be a man. Idk
>I do want to be a mother one day.
>I guess I do get that. But I feel like I wouldn't be considered a tomboy, I don't really do anything considered "masculine". Besides watching sports, liking action movies, and some other stuff. I guess I don't really act feminine either though.
So it seems that you simply cling to fantasy that you think would solve your problem, overhype it, but in the end there isn't that much desire to be man. You simply have life problem and are stuck in shitty situation, and once you get out you might even turn out normal, who knows. Still, since you mentioned liking action etc and in >>84814735 simply liking more masculine looks and "protector/provider" role, I'd still say you have tomboyish element. As I've said, tomboyism in its roots was more about behavior and interests, and even though most people average out to their sex, it's still gaussian distribution meaning you'll have varying degrees of outliers.
By the way, caring and cooking for someone isn't necessarily manly provider trait. It's often seen as feminine caring as well. Proving worth through acts of service is what all people want. It's just being appreciated. Sadly few people remember appreciation part. Just like man likes to be appreciated for fixing something, women like having their cooking complimented. It makes you feel needed and important. It just seems you just want nice relationship where you'd put effort and be appreciated by it.
In any case, I like that attitude because I like idea of having woman who I could teach flying drone and shooting so we'd both defend our home in time of crisis. I find idea of teamwork with kids or wife flying drone with camera and tellins us where intruders are so we could approach and shoot them in the back minimizing risks really cool.

>>84821299
Yeah, I've always been told I need to stop being a pushover.
Thank you for your advice anon, I'll look back at your other reply again and write down what you did so that I can try it myself. Thank you. I'll try to do stuff that is out of my comfort zone. I've already started to try that, I'll go up to people and compliment them. Sometimes it turns into a conversation, sometimes it doesn't. But it's still something I try to do. But I'll try and find more stuff.
And yeah, I really don't think I'll get better till I get out of this home.
>>84821301
It's okay anon, I'm bad at it too.
>>84821372
>eh, I was restless then got up early, only had a couple hours of actual sleep
Sorry anon, I hope you sleep better tonight.
>don't make drastic changes quickly.
Yeah, I've been slowly trying stuff out. Like slowly trying out new meds and seeing if they help any before trying different ones. She always starts me on the lowest possible dose so I haven't had any problems yet
And I'm hesitant to do anything life changing
>just always make sure its you making the choices, not others
Mkay thank you anon
>>84821400
I already said I don't have many masculine or feminine things I do cause I'm depressed. And I know it's a fantasy but I can't get it out of my head. In my mind, it makes sense but I can't articulate it
I hope I turn out normal after I get out.
>By the way, caring and cooking for someone isn't necessarily manly provider trait
I know, but I want to prove I can provide and would be a good partner for them. That I can take care of them and them not have to worry about anything.
>It just seems you just want nice relationship where you'd put effort and be appreciated by it.
Yeah

I've always wanted to learn how to shoot a gun.

>>84821539
>I've always wanted to learn how to shoot a gun.
That's a pretty tomboyish thing to pick up lol

>>84821539
>And yeah, I really don't think I'll get better till I get out of this home.
Any plans for that? Or life plans in general for upcoming few years?
>I've always wanted to learn how to shoot a gun.
I did shoot as a teenager in some shooting club at my school. Even won some medal. I planned to go back to it but I've been delaying whole process of getting licence until I decided I'll start this summer as I'll have lot of free time. I'd take you with me but from what I see you're probably in USA while I'm in Europe so no chance.

>>84821539
>I'm hesitant to do anything life changing
good, right attitude to have.
>I want to prove I can provide and would be a good partner for them. That I can take care of them and them not have to worry about anything
I'm no psychologist, but what little you've said about your relationship with your family, that almost seems like a nurturing/mothering desire, just amped with the masculine protection/provision. But I probably don't know what I'm talking about lol.
>I've always wanted to learn how to shoot a gun
Its fun. Especially if you like some of the more technical aspects. I haven't been to the range in forever, I take for granted how easier it is where I am (southern US) vs other places. even in the US

>>84821556
Is it? Everyone carries where I live. I might take up learning about guns after restarting my knife collection, since I'm more concerned about that rn
>>84821580
Yeah, I'm looking for a job rn. And hoping it'll help fix me up a little after all the isolation. First step was to get my license. Now that I've achieved that, I'm job searching. And depending on how that goes, maybe college (or something adjacent) in a year or two.
>some shooting club at my school
What.....that sounds so cool. They allowed that?
>I've been delaying whole process of getting licence
Car? Or gun license? Good luck if it's for driving! Just don't overthink it, you're more likely to mess up if you're worried the whole time. Just focus on driving and ignore the person as much as possible. Pretend it's like any other time
>I'd take you with me but from what I see you're probably in USA while I'm in Europe so no chance.
The thought's nice, but yes I am from the US.
>>84821639
Maybe you're right, I have always wanted to be a mother. It's one of my biggest dreams, and my longest lasting one. In all my plans for the future, I eventually have 3 kids.
>southern US
Same!!
But I still don't know how to shoot a gun sadly

>>84821698
>What.....that sounds so cool. They allowed that?
Yes. We were training with .22 pellet guns aand used actual guns on shooting range trips and shooting contests.
>Car? Or gun license?
Firearm licence. I'm driving car for like 15 years now.
>The thought's nice, but yes I am from the US.
Shame, but such is life.

>>84821698
>Is it?
Well, I think so at least
>Everyone carries where I live.
Even girls? Lol
>I might take up learning about guns after restarting my knife collection, since I'm more concerned about that rn
What kind of knife collector are you

>>84821730
>Even girls? Lol
I imagine so. I know my aunt does, and so does my mom. But my mom only does cause my stepdads a collector
>What kind of knife collector are you
I don't have any yet, I used to have some a long time ago when I was in 5th grade but I got those taken away. I like going to markets and seeing all the stuff they have though, like seeing the knives people are selling. I imagine myself buying them and collecting them. But I'm broke rn so no knives for me.
Besides this one shitty dagger looking thing I have that I bought from a different kind of market. I bought it cause it reminded me of when I was younger and would roleplay knights in the woods behind my house and would have a "dagger"(which was actually just a stick).

>>84821698
>In all my plans for the future, I eventually have 3 kids.
I think goals like that, and getting a job, are good for you. Helps give a guiding light when things get tough.
>Same!!
Cool! Yeah most of our states down here are pretty nice when it comes to gun laws. Mine just passed constitutional carry a little while back. Ranges are pretty common, but I would def recommend either going with someone who can teach you, or take a training course that a lot of ranges have (unfortunately $$).

>>84821757
>Helps give a guiding light when things get tough.
Yeah, all things considered, I'm pretty hopeful desu. I think things will get better. I at least have hope that I'll get better.
>I would def recommend either going with someone who can teach you
I'm sure my stepdad would like to teach me. He's always showing me guns and asking my opinion on them, even though I know nothing about guns basically. I think he wants to get one of us into his interest of collecting them and shooting them. So I think all I need to do is ask him and he'll teach me.

Btw, anything cool happen recently? Do anything cool?

>>84821755
Knives are fun because there are all sorts of unique ones all over the place. Hope you can start your collection again soon anon

I kind of feel your pain, honestly. The first knife I ever owned got confiscated by the tsa because I forgot to leave it in my car. Fuck them bastards

Also, lol @ even ur mom being strapped. Maybe I should spend some more time in the real south one of these days

>>84821853
yeah people that have collections like to show them off, get others interested in the hobby too (I'm the same lol). I'd take him up on that offer for sure. Oh and I'm the same about knives as you. Gotta be a southern thing
>anything cool happen recently? Do anything cool?
Nah, my day has been pretty uneventful so far, just playing some vidya rn. i've been taking care of a sick family member recently, so that's a good thing to be uneventful. U?

>>84821929
>Knives are fun because there are all sorts of unique ones all over the place
Yeah, the ones I see at the market are so cool. Makes me so sad to think about how every cool one I saw is now owned by someone else and not me. God I need a job
>Hope you can start your collection again soon anon
Thank you!
>The first knife I ever owned got confiscated by the tsa because I forgot to leave it in my car
Sorry that happened. I'd be pissed. Maybe even cry over it lol
>Maybe I should spend some more time in the real south one of these days
Real South? You live in a city or something?
>>84821968
Yeah, I think I just gotta slowly show more interest in it and then eventually ask him to show me how to shoot them. Don't wanna do too much at once
>Gotta be a southern thing
Lolz gotta be
>some vidya rn.
What game?
>sick family member
I'm so sorry, I hope they get better soon.
>U?
Nothing much going on with me. Just been enjoying doing nothing. Been watching some TV though, and rewatching things from my childhood like Disney stuff. The music has me feeling good and happy. It's nice to be reminded of times when much didn't matter

>>84814388
if she can't figure out her own gender, which is and will always be female, how the fuck is she gonna handle a relationship? I'd rather fuck a guy, than play pretend with a confused girl

>>84822035
>Real South? You live in a city or something?
I ended up as a weird middle ground between a hick and a city slicker since my parents are middle class homebodies and raised me in the suburbs but I personally prefer the outdoors and hate densely populated areas.

Though as I grow older, I'm starting to think that suburbs are even worse than the big city. At least the big city is interesting. They're fun enough to visit, with restaurants and museums and such, as long as you can get out before the criminals and assholes ruin your mood. Suburbs though are both ugly and boring.

The other half of my comment is that I'm from Texas, which is obviously like half southern

>>84822037
Bro admitted he would bang men under 0 pressure

>>84822035
Yeah I collect so many useless pocket knives its not even funny. Among other, bigger pieces.
>What game?
I'm a dork, just picked up Darktide, its been fun to co-op with my brother
>I hope they get better soon
thanks, and he is. last week was the real fun. but he's good now.
>enjoying doing nothing
Its always good to just do nothing every now and then, recharge the batteries.
For me nostalgia can sometimes hurt too much, but I'm glad its helping you.

>>84822037
Okay anon.
>I'd rather fuck a guy
Gay.
>>84822085
I'd like to say I'm not too much of a hick but my grandma used to bathe me in a bucket outside of our house and shit like that. And my grandma owned a gun too.
I don't ever go into the city, but there is one not that far from here, like maybe 1+ hour away. Its like 5,000 people in my area, which imo is a lot but I'm not too sure about other areas.
>Suburbs though are both ugly and boring.
Yep, nothing to do here at all. When I was younger all we had were skating rinks lol. That's where everyone would hang out.
>The other half of my comment is that I'm from Texas, which is obviously like half southern
Lol, I've been to Texas before. I hated it. But in y'all's defense, I went to a city and it was for a funeral.
>>84822127
Got any pictures of anything you've collected?
>just picked up Darktide
What's it about?
>but he's good now.
Happy to hear that anon
>Its always good to just do nothing every now and then, recharge the batteries.
Yeah, except I do nothing basically all the time. Which is why I need a job
>For me nostalgia can sometimes hurt too much, but I'm glad its helping you
I guess maybe it helps that it hasn't been that long since I was into that stuff? Like I feel like if I was 25, instead of 18, looking back at my childhood it'd hurt a lot more.

Would the relationship be sexually monogamous?

>>84822164
>any pictures
for some reason 4chan hasn't been wanting me to post pics this weekend. closest one I have at hand is a Damascus steel Bowie knife. and a small tomahawk.
>What's it about?
its a Warhammer40k game, scifi shooter, fight waves of enemies
> I feel like if I was 25, instead of 18, looking back at my childhood it'd hurt a lot more.
yeah age might have something to do with that for me lol

>>84822164
>I'd like to say I'm not too much of a hick but my grandma used to bathe me in a bucket outside of our house and shit like that
Lol, nice
>Yep, nothing to do here at all. When I was younger all we had were skating rinks lol. That's where everyone would hang out.
You know for a second I forgot that rollar skating rinks are a thing and I was like "I didn't think ice skating would be big there..."

>>84822344
Yes
>>84822354
>closest one I have at hand is a Damascus steel Bowie knife. and a small tomahawk.
Those look cool. Eegh I need knives
>its a Warhammer40k game, scifi shooter, fight waves of enemies
Ohhh okay. What other games do you play?
>yeah age might have something to do with that for me lol
How old are you? You don't seem that old?
>>84822365
Yeah I've never heard of any ice skating place around where I live. They probably have some, but just not in my specific area. Y'all got ice skating?

>>84822410
>I need knives
you should start back again for sure
>What other games do you play?
I used to play a lot wider variety, but I've just been stuck in a loop playing a few shooter games with my friends group, since that's basically our only hangout. But I like a wide variety.
>You don't seem that old?
I'm gonna choose to take that as a compliment lol. I'm early 30s

>>84821067
>What's even so nice about tomboys? I don't get it
for me it's the hope that she'll enjoy things I like, not be drama crazy like most women, and not make me do annoying girly things. Tomboys are cute because theyre fun to be around and you can joke around with them like men but they're also women who you can fall in love with and marry.

>>84822497
>you should start back again for sure
Definitely gonna eventually
>I've just been stuck in a loop playing a few shooter games with my friends group
How big is your friend group? Me and my old middle school friend group used to play games together but they were ones like where we told each other secrets anonymously or left messages for each other anonymously and had to guess who was who.
>I'm gonna choose to take that as a compliment lol. I'm
Honestly, last age I expected. You seem so young, I was thinking you were like 21-25.
>>84822540
Yeah I don't like drama either

>>84822710
>How big is your friend group?
that play video games together? about 4-5 depending on who is on any given night. I'm actually the second youngest of them.
>You seem so young
What makes you think that? And guess that's a good thing, right? Its better than seeming like i'm old lol

>>84822410
>Yeah I've never heard of any ice skating place around where I live. They probably have some, but just not in my specific area. Y'all got ice skating?
No not really, but there are a few states with a surprising amount of ice rinks despite their climate

>>84822794
That sounds fun. Ergh sometimes I wish I could get into video games but I just can't sadly.
>What makes you think that
I don't know. You seem so friendly? And accepting? Not saying older people can't be that way, but generally I associate that with younger people. Not trying to sound mean. And just the way you type had me thinking it, which isn't a bad thing.
I guess I just assumed you were younger because most older people I know are sorta assholes to me
>>84822859
Which ones?

>>84822914
>Which ones?
I used to know a guy from north carolina who had played hockey all his life, that one kinda surprised me

>>84822914
>most older people I know are sorta assholes to me
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe its because in my life I ran into some of that too, but I always try to not be that way.
>friendly and accepting
ashamed to admit that's something I have to make a conscious effort to do. I try my best not to be bitter and jaded.
And tbf the way you type you seem more mature than what I would have figured, I thought you were close to my age.
>sometimes I wish I could get into video games
why cant you? Is it a health thing or lack of interest?

>>84823026
I love hockey
>>84823088
Well you're very nice anon, from what I can tell anyways.
>I try my best not to be bitter and jaded.
I try to stay positive too despite everything
>And tbf the way you type you seem more mature than what I would have figured, I thought you were close to my age.
Fr? What made you think that? What about my typing?
>Is it a health thing or lack of interest?
I can't focus on it. Can't focus on anything. I've tried but it just doesn't work out

>>84823218
thanks, I appreciate that.
>What about my typing?
idk. Maybe how measured your responses are. And the fact that you take the time to reply to almost everybody itt, hear them out, even if they are just dropping by for a shitpost.
>I can't focus on it
ahh ok. I'm sure you're not the only person to deal with that. I cant think of any off the top of my head, but there's bound to be some games that might be more manageable than others. but idk

>>84823218
You love hockey? Really? Like what about it

>>84823279
>Maybe how measured your responses are
Thank you, I like having conversations on here.
>And the fact that you take the time to reply to almost everybody itt, hear them out, even if they are just dropping by for a shitpost
Well, it's because I think even if they were being meanspirited they still deserved a response I guess? Since they were just trying to have a conversation. I hate being ignored in threads so I always try to answer everyone in threads I make. Just as a respect thing I guess. And I'm also just bored
>there's bound to be some games that might be more manageable than others
I like puzzle games but I'm very bad at them. It has to be something that keeps me thinking the whole time or else I'll just get distracted
>>84823428
I like the skating, and their cellies. I love watching my favorite team score and seeing all them get so excited about it. I love seeing the camaraderie between the teammates, having each other's backs out there. It makes me wish I were on some kind of team and had people watching out for me.
Plus I like how fast paced it is

>>84823481
>I like the skating, and their cellies. I love watching my favorite team score and seeing all them get so excited about it. I love seeing the camaraderie between the teammates, having each other's backs out there. It makes me wish I were on some kind of team and had people watching out for me.
>Plus I like how fast paced it is
So you do spend time watching hockey? Lkle you would consider yourself a hockey fan

>>84823481
Yeah it's almost like as 4chan and r9k have gone downhill, I've had more genuine convos with people. Or maybe I've just changed.
>I always try to answer everyone in threads I make
yup, always answer my (you)s
>something that keeps me thinking the whole time
maybe its just because I've recently picked back up again, but I've been playing Balatro on my phone a bunch. that might work for you?
I'm gonna go make some dinner, hopefully this thread will stay around for another few hours (honestly still surprised it lasted from yesterday). I've really enjoyed our convos OP.

>>84814388
>would you be fine with a girl that wants to be a guy and wants to be called a guy sometimes not all the time but won't transition
so when she's pretending to be a guy, do I have to only fuck her in the ass? since guys don't have pussies you know.

as long as she doesn't dress like a guy. tomboy is fine but not fag tier.

>>84823621
Yeah I guess so. Haven't been watching it much recently though
>>84823628
I love genuine conversations on here.
>I've been playing Balatro on my phone a bunch. that might work for you?
What's that?
>I'm gonna go make some dinner
Hope you enjoy your food anon!
>hopefully this thread will stay around for another few hours (honestly still surprised it lasted from yesterday
Same, I was not expecting this many replies at all
>I've really enjoyed our convos OP.
You too anon! It was nice talking to you
>>84823638
Well yes that would be preferable.

I dress in just pants and a T-shirt, I think that's very neutral dressing

>>84823679
>Yeah I guess so. Haven't been watching it much recently though
Wait a minute. We already talked about tbis lmfao. Weren't you trying to get your dad into it

>>84824146
No? My dad's dead sorry

>>84824406
Oh... must have got my wires crossed again...

>>84823679
well its still around lol. Although I guess I wasn't gone as long as I thought I'd be.
>What's that?
its a deck builder puzzle game from a few years ago, uses poker hands. idk if it would really be your thing, but you do have to think a bit. guess you could watch some vids of it
>not expecting this many replies at all
desu our convo is probably a 1/3 of it. at least lol.

>>84824416
Who were you thinking I was?
>>84824505
Yeah, honestly after the small nap I took, I thought it'd be gone or something. But it's still here woohoo
>guess you could watch some vids of it
Yeah I will, it'd be nice to have another thing to do besides just scroll on my phone. I'll look into it. Thank you. I don't know poker either
>desu our convo is probably a 1/3 of it. at least lol
Probably lol

>>84824540
we've made it over 24hrs, now for 48! jk
IDK if you'd want to, but I can drop a throwaway discord or email if you'd care to catch up when (if?) the thread does die.
>another thing to do besides just scroll on my phone
its scratched that itch for me. for now at least. Keeps me from doom scrolling here as much, I guess.

>>84824540
>Who were you thinking I was?
I don't think it was anyone else in particular, sometimes I just get details messed up
>>84824505
How in the world do you deck build with poker hands

>>84814388
I know a girl like that. Such a shame she wants to troon out since we really connect on a lot of video game topics

>>84824792
You can drop your email, but I'm not sure how active I'll be on there, I haven't really been in a personal talking mood. But if you send something, I'll try and respond but it'll probably be late since I don't get notifications for it.
>Keeps me from doom scrolling here as much, I guess
I need something like that
>>84824854
Happens to me too
>>84824871
Hope you can find a girl to share your games with

>>84824929
Actually nvm, sorry anon, I though about it some more and I don't think I want to talk to someone personally rn. Sorry anon, I hope you understand. I'm just not in a talking mood, it's different on here where it's anonymous and no expectations. Sorry

>>84824929
sure, its c3llsinterlinked@proton.me . I'll probably be slow to check it, but you can send whatever/whenever. If you have a topic or question or whatever, I'm down to talk. Like I said I've enjoyed chatting with you. didn't want to get lost in the sea of random anons.

>>84824854
>How in the world do you deck build with poker hands
guess I've gotta be the Balatro sales rep lol. You can collect cards with different effects, Jokers that have modifiers to get more points, and earn score by playing a poker hand when you "battle".

>>84824969
guess I should have refreshed before posting lol. All good, no pressure

>>84825028
I'll save it in case I'm feeling better in a couple days!

>>84825038
>>84825028
Sent an email just in case I lost it

>>84825038
That's fine too. just got your message. And I understand about the whole anonymous/expectations.
its just so much easier to be open and vulnerable.

>>84825097
>And I understand about the whole anonymous/expectations.
Yeah, it just feels easier getting stuff off of my chest knowing no one knows who I am

>>84825128
ikr? that's the biggest reason I still use 4chan. I don't care for other social media sites. So I guess I'm stuck here until its shut down lol

>>84825171
I don't care much for them either besides tiktok but I don't post on there. But like Twitter? Instagram? Nah. I feel like I'm not mentally well enough for those places

>>84825232
>not mentally well enough for those places
if that was the requirement, 2/3 of the people wouldn't be there lol

>>84825251
Yeah I know but I'm choosing to protect the little amount of peace I have left and choosing to stay away from those places. I fear they'd make me more mentally ill or more insecure. Ykwim? Like there's just stuff I heard about those places I feel like would drive me more crazy. Plus, I don't have anything to post about so.... Shrug

>>84825251
True. I stay away from em as much as I can, but sometimes you cant avoid it for news and such.

>>84825313
I hate watching the news too. It stresses me out, but I guess it should stress me out sometimes

>>84825365
yeah I think its better to know than be oblivious. doesn't make it any less stressful tho

>>84825405
Yeah, sorry but I think I'm gonna go take nap, maybe actually even go to sleep sleep. I don't expect the thread to stay up till tomorrow(again), but I'll eventually message you through email probably