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>>84817821
I thought I lost you niggas for a second

Finally had my first experience. Basically my neighbor has been doing this "hate my wife" boomer routine even though he's only in his late 40's (I think) and we've been hanging out and drinking beer in his garage. My gf and I broke up recently and I think he basically let me find a box of tapes he had which I thought was funny because I'm barely old enough that my first porn experience was a nude mag and I watched some actual porn on VHS as a kid. I made some offhand comment about feet cuz I thought it meant he wanted me to fuck his wife and he just asked a bunch of sexual questions which didn't really go anywhere. Long story short I started using my ex's butt plug on the way to the store and things like that, and I ended up shaving my whole body and going next door with her lingerie under my jeans and showed him my feet (fishnets visible). He wasn't into it but he started rubbing my thigh. Ended up taking off my pants in his garage and giving him the worst blow job ever, I know it was toothy as fuck and was not working. Kept asking if it was OK and he was too nice to say no lol. But eventually he turned me around and sort of laid on top of me on this shitty pleather couch. I had to tell him to slow down a couple of times coz I wanted to get used to it and he didn't really listen which I didn't like. It took him about 5 mins to nut and he kept saying "should I get a condom" and finally I asked "do you have one" because I was thinking damn this guy could have fucked skanks idk and he says no. Lmao. I just said hurry cum in me and he started grunting. I fucked back up against him and tried my best to squeeze my anus on the upswing or whatever. He seemed super happy. I ended up staying in his basement because "we drank too much" and he cooked us (and his wife) breakfast and I let him do it again after that. I went to the bathroom and tried to squeeze his cum out but there was nothing. Ended up letting him do it again 3 more times. I'm planning on going back tomorrow.

>>84817960
we don't fuck anyone here sir

>>84817982
Is this a wholesome thread?

>>84817960
sorry that happened
or happy for you idk

>>84817990
yeah it gets real wholesome when the thread schizos have their daily melties for hours on end spamming the thread
or when someone breathes about sex and several people tell them unilaterally to kill themselves in the worst way possible
and of course the wholesomeness of longwinded greentexts that usually end with "and that's why i'm killing myself"
that kind of wholesome

>>84817960
Sounds like the worst porno ever so fake and gay, or maybe given the thread we're in fake and straight. Surely someone here could come up with something a little better than that

>>84818029
>it was really mundane
nigger whoring yourself out to your neighbor is not "mundane" even among the normiest circles. that's weird-ass territory. i once had a cougar knock on my door and try to flirt/fuck me a few years back at the apartment building i lived in, and i was creeped the fuck out. it's a bizarre ass thing to do. good for you it worked out but it's not "mundane"

>>84818054
>FWB
whore term. back to /soc/ with your slut ass

>>84818077
>He's married.
yes, homewrecker whore.
>meaningless word babble
back to the drawing board, loser!

please delete the rest of your garbage posts while you're at it thx

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totaI chud victory

time to whip out desuarch to see what i missed

honestly quite inedible

>>84818001
i like the funny man who pretends he knows me and threatens me IRL. Still waiting for him and his "OPs" to cave my skull in like he promised. Can't just be gay gotta be the right flavor of gay.

>>84818162
i post here semi-frequently and the only two thread personalities i can consistently recognize is hue and meow: the first because his script is pretty rigid; and the second because he says meow a lot.

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I shoulda stayed in school instead of doing schizophrenic vector design art... Being a doctor or something.

Beats being an onlyfans whore making 200 dollars a month tbf so it could always be worse.

>>84818308
shit, i'm just happy to work at all. most of my life i accepted i was going to be a loser NEET until i died. the fact i'm even a low level wagie is an accomplishment. i guess the point is to be happy with what you have.

off topic from anything but I kinda wanna get a tan for the summer

not sure if brown boys with brown hair are commercially marketable though

>>84818323
I suppose yes, you're right.

Congrats on being a contributing member of society, unironically and without sarcasm it's good.

>>84818344
tans are nice. bet you'd look plenty marketable, anon

The important thing is that Elon Musk got to be the world's first trillionaire. Gas prices, wars, climate, AI, whatever who cares. These are temporary issues. They're dated. In a few years, it won't matter. There's only ONE world's first trillionaire. EVER. Elon gets to be the ONLY ONE, FOREVER. The first trillionaire. The only one, ever. No matter what else might happen to the world, I can rest easy knowing that Elon Musk is the Only World's First Trillionaire, Forever and Ever.

Who wants to watch the USA 250 UFC CHAMPION EXHIBITION POWERED BY SPACEXAI with me tomorrow night? :)

>>84818438
bet i was a zimbabwean trillionaire long before his poser ass

>>84818438
well shut up bruh, he probably earned it! Just put in the effort and one day you can become a trillionaire too

we'll all be trillionaires after hyperinflation hits

>>84818519
not me, I'm going to be a septillionaire

>>84818519
But you'll never be the FIRST ONE. That's the important thing

hello boys i hope you are well

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>>84818709
I've been laughing like a schizophrenic retard on my computer for the last 30 minutes so yea, I'm pretty good :D

might make some cereal with banana.... yummers

>>84818756
I love taking HRT. Femboys are so valid!
>virgin autistic man moder

>>84818756
sounds like a good time, anon. yummers indeed

>>84818756
you on the left (i like your top)

>>84818768
Life cereal is delicious
>>84818769
>you on the left (i like your top)
It's true, I look like that and am a top.

>>84817960
This sounds more sad than hot

>>84817960
Wow another disgusting american gay story.

I jerked off when I wasn't even horny and now I just feel dirty and like I lost a bit of my soul

should i drink orange cream flavored coffee or cinnamon hazelnut? o_o

>>84819899
>like I lost a bit of my soul
don't worry anon, cum regenerates

>>84819906
How about neither you prancing lala homo man?

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>>84819906
PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE

>>84819906
black coffee
cream is ok if you're a sissy, but no flavored creamers

men are as sweet as the things they drink *sips vanilla cinnamon cola*

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I thought you guys liked sissies

>>84819972
>this is a 5/10 for r9gay

I wonder how much of the economy and inflation is being skewed by Elon alone

>>84819923
i wish

>>84819933
interesting you like your coffee how you like your men... black!

somebody wants their ass whooped

it's a good thing I wasn't at the pride parade. Everyone was so attractive...a goblin like on camera would have been too much

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Where battletech bf miauouau

Y'all ugly ass hos wouldn't no what to do at Pride anywayz

I wonder where my walk will take me today no like I am low on food so I don't need to do groceries. I guess the same path as usual and hope that I can see cats but it's nice out so maybe I'll wrap around and go another way or just walk until I can't anymore and take a bus home. It's always been a dream of mine to walk to my grandparents place but that's supposedly a 12 hour walk so probably not a good idea

>>84820712
where do you live? Definitely not America because they don't have walkable cities. Yours must be a nice place to walk in

>>84818162
I've had people here threaten to dox me and kill me regularly but it's usually because I'm under 6ft tall or just being ugly in general

For some reason being ugly and hitting on guys seems to attract a lot of threats

>>84819906
Real man drink their mud water without any sweetener or flavor. The more it makes you want to puke the better.

I said I work, I squirt, I jerk

men suck. Women rule. I wish I was one of the gurlz.

I really hate ru paul Drag Queen gays

>>84820419
You must be really fucking ugly then because everyone who goes to pride looks crazy ugly. You're like elephantman level it seems.

>84821077
thanks...probably. I have no energy to insult you back, the people I saw were good average looking to pretty, plenty of twinks, good looking bears and girls with curly hair. The guys were shirtless

Classic Cheerleader Effect

I found me self a cheerleada she is always rait der wen I need er

bing bing ya ya wa hoooooo!!!

>>84817821
Gay men are disgusting. It's not natural to fuck another man in the ass, the only hole where shit comes shit and other bacteria comes out of. Jews and spineless leaders have convinced you deviants that touching a dick and fucking another man in hopes of getting him pregnant is totally normal. It's not. Stop spreading your AIDS and kill yourselves.

>>84821258
you seem to be thinking a lot about gay sex, anon.

me: existing
the mentally unwell: >>84821258

>>84821275
>the fruit cup resorts to projection
Stop invading every robots thread with with your filth and go back to /lgbt/

>fruit cup
hmmm someone's getting a bit zesty with it mhm you go gurl

I hope jonah dies

I'm an agent of chaos

>>84817821
smears a little bit of shit on your cutlery, just a bit, you cant see it.
You love it, oh aye!

So far my problem with the FFVII remake/rebirth gameplay wise is that everyone is vastly more boring to play than Cloud. I like RPGs that encourage you to play with every character but why would I want to stand still shooting things with Barret or doing little fairy shots with Aerith just to go into a menu and activate spells when I can play as Cloud and fucking woosh dash fly everywhere bashing my sword into everything which is infinitely more fun and satisfying.

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>tfw no boyfriend to do dumb silly things with

>>84817821
Big hairy wet pussy being pounded by a strap on, the juices dripping as her big tits slap you in the face.
It lush.

>>84821470
Get off the booze Sean you're embarrassing yourself

>>84821470
Get more booze Sean and then go super straight in a car, in a not so straight road

Sean Kirkpatrick

>>84821381
>go to a menu and activate spells
lmao, i think they should have made spells cost half or quarter for her to make up for that being her only thing besides stagger bonus buildup
tifa on the other hand... is a BEAST

unrelated, but i wonder if theres any good music they added for rebirth/anterograde, i keep forgetting to check

>>84821615
Eh maybe Tifa gets better later once you unlock more stuff but I find it annoying have to keep activating Unbridled Strength

how do I unlock a bf? Any cheat codes?

>>84820825
Canada but I don't think it's really much better for walkable cities here though I don't know I've never been to the states. It just depends on how far you want to walk like I don't know how far the average European is walking to go to the grocery store or pick up light bulbs for me both of those are probably a 30 to 40 minute walk. Unless I want to pay three times the price at a mom and pop shop that gives me moldy and broken products for extra money

>>84821745
well are you looking for boys anywhere
having an intake of potential bfs is a good first step

would pop and pop stores cost less?

>>84821110
Hello anon, you must be new here! In order to quote other users, you need two (2) quote arrows before their post number.
Here, let me help you:
>>84821077

Welcome to 4chan, enjoy your stay!

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>>84821991
hey. be nice to him. or else...

im so bored i cant decide which game i should reinstall... hmm...
what are you neguses up 2?

>>84822481
I'm playing Civ and getting hounded by barbs

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>>84822481
i'm going to play a game maybe
i don't know what yet

>>84822513
which civ? I heard the latest one is shit. I think it peaked with IV.

>>84822829
The latest one (VII). They recently bought out a patch which fixed the main thing people hated about the new one which was in VII games are split into 3 ages (Antiquity, expansion, modern) and before when the age transition happened it would reset all of your settlements and you had to remake your civ from scratch. Now your civ carries over through ages. I think it's a pretty decent game now but I didn't play the old ones extensively and I'm kind of a newb

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Does anyone happen to know the name of the hentai game where it has a cute green bunny boy in it and he disguises himself as a woman so he doesn't get attacked and raped by women in it?

bumo as in bump fumo 27

>tfw went to taco bell and my old order is now 18 buckeros.
Holy shit it used to be so cheap.

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I cleaned my computer today, was quite a painful process because I'm inept with technology despite coming from a long lineage of stem wizards... So embarrassing...

>tfw no IT bf

good to know you've finally decided to trust the pollock

>>84824292

Physically cleaned out the dust or digitally cleaned out old/unused files?

>>84824304
Cleaned out the dust and updated my BIOS for the first time in a decade.

>>84824327

I thought BIOS updates weren't necessary unless there was a major issue like with the intel boards frying the CPUs by drawing too much power?

Power went out so the only thing I can do now is jerk off and ride my dildo

>>84824415
just like how they did it in the olden days...

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM

Some singer died in a fucking helicopter crash in brazil today what the hell, terrifying way to die
>>84821448
Hi, Anon.

>>84824492
Oh so that's why some random Brazilian guy dying made the news.

Hey hue go schedule a helicopter flight plz.

>>84822828
Someone made a general for cuckbot but it died before cuck could relocate
>>84822803
Cuckbot pretending he had a ginger ex just so he can post about his blacked obsession?
>>84822965
Cuckbot wants to get cucked by asians now?

>>84823493
Cuckbot decided to accept meow being a woman now?

>>84823781
Someone is doxxing cuckbot and his bull, will he start a flagging campaign to erase these pictures from the internet?

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so anyway i dwank some apple juice

>>84824445
No I haven't made it to that one yet I'm still just watching seed sorry

>>84822716
I don't think meow is a girl cuckbot and I think he wouldn't be willing to do this even if you asked him
>>84823870
I don't think this is the way to use grok cuckbot
>>84824218
Cuckbot doesn't feel like answering questions about his clitty anymore?
>>84824065
Uh no I don't think women are obsessed with black men unless you identify as a woman now but eve then it's just you cuckbot
>>84822850
Least unhinged cuckbots race fantasy

>>84822124
Cuckbot not content with only watching anymore

Ok so will these fights start or I'm I going to sleep?

>>84824737
It starts in 45 mins i think

>15/06/2026
>still didn't see joker (2019)
You vill never convince me to follow trends

Breaking news the world gay forum come out with a ruling that all gay boys are to be in bed sleeping within the next 5 minutes. Any found not honk shooing or even mimiming will have unknown consequences forced upon them.

>>84824762
Bro that's my bedtime. I'm not staying up for fucking Steve Garcia and bo nickelbeck. Why is this shit on sunday anyway. I have a feeling it will be a trashfire from a production standpoint but let's see.

>>84824768
But I'm not tired!

I'm totally being a brat and need a boy to forcefully put me to bed!

>>84824778
okay i'm coming over right now to put your ass to bed

>>84824778
Luckily you still have another 2 minutes or so to go until the unthinkable happens...
Luckily for me I'm fast asleep typing these out in my dreams

Gay sleep anon is a cute!

>>84824774
Just stay up its so simple

Ok I may be gay but masculinity is absolutely disgusting, I think we can all agree on that? It makes me sick when I see bears or old men act gay. Being gay should only be something cute androgenous men do with eachother.

THEY MADE BALDIE WEAR A SUIT HAHAAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAA
This has to be a humiliation ritual HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rooting for diego

>>84824928
I don't think Garcia has the chin to take those punches. Or footwork to avoid him. His only chance will be to melt Diego with volume but I think Diego is too tough so he will likely win via ko before the 3rd round. It's like they gave Americans they like bad match ups on purpose what is this shit????

I remember when Garcia was a bantamweight fighting Shawn bunch and others in bellator. Didnt think he'd make it to ufc years later and be this successful.

>>84824960
>>84824980
Holy heem
Diego is too strong

>>84825067
He was eating more punches than I thought he would but he got it done. I knew when he grits down and starts throwing it would be over. I forgot how long Garcia's arms are.

Idk if daukas is going to win but it's probably going to be a lot harder for bo than most people think. They could've given him an easier fight

>>84821258
>uhhhgggg i cant stop thinking about gayyyyy sexxx
>gayyyy sexxx ahhh i must think about gay sex
i understand jews now, goyim are not human

My penis is fertile and waiting.

Freshly showered and now I'm in bed ready to sleep. It's been a long time since I showered right before going to bed it's not as comfy as I remember it. Maybe because I didn't wash my hair? It's too late to wash it it takes too long to dry so I'd definitely have bed head if I did that

i feel so alone in life and it feels bad

>>84825937
sorry anon that is a crummy feeling. hopefully you can find a way to relax and distract yourself...

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>>84825937
I'm gonna get real weird with it again soon I can tell. I'm reexamining my beliefs around human relationships and questioning myself. I was wrong, I AM wrong. Time for some changes.

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coming back before bed to revive the bread

>>84825937
you not alone muh niggy i'm having an existential crisis but it will get better... eventually, i hope :)

>>84826655
No matter how many times you get knocked down you always pick yourself back up...

I'm looking at clothes, what would you want your fbf to wear?

>>84826694
>what would you want your fbf to wear?
wow, anon is forward...

>>84826706
I'm looking at silk shirts cause I like the way they feel, but I'm not sure if my future boyfriend would approve...

Also need new prescriptions for my glasses

>>84826718
sounds lovely, anon. i'm not too picky on what a boy wears, so long as he's comfortable. can't go wrong with more casual wear and perhaps more muted colors (though nothing wrong with being a bit 'loud')

>>84826722
I wanna look like a sailor boy as of late. Not sure why, I like the silly blue and white striped shirts they have.

has anyone noticed a recent trend in these threads of gaybots having normie experiences and abandoning us

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>>84826902
real jojo moment

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>>84826918
I'm still here regardless...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axs85iB5y1E

>>84826918
i'm still here (gay)

anyone got a copy of the prima strategy guide for making friends in adulthood

>>84827094
All my online friends are functioning autists I have hobbies in common with

>>84827094
assuming your job crew doesn't suck, people are usually pretty easy going and can be won over by being friendly
you could also just add people from 4chan if you don't care about irl

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>>84822216
hey anon, thanks for standing up for me :( ...it's a rare sight here, but very much appreciated

>>84827163
np anon. good boys don't deserve to be treated poorly

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>>84827094
I haven't read it yet but supposedly this book I found is supposedly like the autists manual at socializing and judging by the chapter breakdowns it really is. I mean they even have a section on recognizing nonverbal communication it's literally made with autistic people in mind so if it can make them make friends it can make anyone

>total slut
>autistic
>fast food diet
>body shape shit to begin with
never even began bros

>>84827204
the last two things can be changed with relative ease unless you're real obese nonny.. identity and narrative are everything. if you tell yourself you're a fat loser who eats wendy's then that's what you are, if you tell urself you're too autistic for a loving bf then that's what will happen. i was totally antisocial for a long time and even attempted suicide. sleeping better, eating well and taking a risk meeting people worked out okay. if you have the self awareness to recognise shortcomings you're already doing better than a lot of people and clearly have a capacity for future planning. that's my soapbox i believe in you

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Is it bad I fear becoming a rapist someday? I think if I was an adult in the 80s I'd probably be a serial killer. (unfortunately)

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>>84827227
It is quite concerning but also very Florian coded

>>84827227
if you were a serial killer, what kind of victims would you have?

>>84827291
attractive young men (while also being an attractive young man myself)
>>84827262
I don't want it to be this way but it seems to be the way my life is headed.

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>>84827299
I believe you can find someone without being a rapist or a murderer. Wait for AI-powered robot bfs at least if you do it now you'll be ion prison when they come out.

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Crazy that if I wasn't ugly my body count would be over 100 by now. Instead it's 0.

>>84827305
Hopefully. I'm glad you think so Anon. I dunno. I just feel so lonely and alienated from everyone.

I have to go to the hospital today but I really really really really don't want to

>>84827440
maybe today's the day you meet a cute nurse bf

>>84827457
Nurses aren't allowed to date patients. Like, you lose your job for doing that.
t. nurse

>>84827464
are you the guy who has a piss fetish

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>>84827470
God no, piss stinks.
I still think ear wax is more gross though.

Idg how people work in hospitals. They're such miserable places

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>>84827479
There was another Anon who had a pee fetish who was also a nurse that posted here a few years ago, he probably graduated to normiehood though.

Kinda sad looking back on how long I've been here. Even in high school I was here.

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>>84827511
>Kinda sad looking back on how long I've been here. Even in high school I was here.
I've been in and out of /r9k/ since highschool too. I'm in a better place than I was then, but I still like coming here to have random chats with anons. There are worse places you could be, I regret wasting so much time in shit 4chan discords.

>>84827529
I guess so. I've wasted so much of my life so far on the internet. Sometimes I'm scared to think about it.

The pain of being a lonely incel never goes away for me, even with recent small successes in my personal relationships and career.

>>84827488
good pay, stable jobs, easy to be employed, evergreen

lots of Kieran posters here I see...I just used a hug pic of him to hug the nice anon
>>84827169
I'm not that good of a boy, but I try my best to be a nice person

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>>84827591
>lots of Kieran posters here I see
Kieran is literally half the posters here

>>84827596
so half of r9gay is deeply envious timid boys with an inferiority complex and a hate-love relationship with other guys who just need to accept they're less than their preferred guy to heal and stop being jerks?

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>>84827619
Afraid so, my friend.

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Have you guys thought how weird it is to be a gay incel? The type literally hated by both sides.
How am I supposed to explain this to a psychologist?

>>84827646
straights said it's impossible to be gay and incel because gay can fuck whoever they want when they want

>>84827646
just tell them you're a closet case.

>>84826925
cute failed director

>>84827646
do you hate women like ""normal"" incels?