I think most days of my life I always have some feeling of nervousness, worry or depressed thoughts in the back of my head making my stomach churn or feeling like I have a hole in my chest.It's like whenever I might get over something for a little bit a new thing pops up that I worry about and have a bad feel about for most of the day.Is this what life is supposed to be like? Are you supposed to always worry about stuff?
>>84907644No life is not supposed to be like this I am a very happy person I always have happy thoughts it is a rare occurrence to experience negative emotions negative thoughts I think you need to ask yourself why do you think like that and when did you start thinking like that and when you did what did you start doing and if you still do what you did when those things started that could be why also just be kinder to yourself you are a human being with flaws and that is okay
>>84907685>I am a very happy person I always have happy thoughts it is a rare occurrence to experience negative emotions negative thoughtsNot to be rude but I don't think you are as happy as you think if you come here. Why would a happy person be spending any amount of time on this place that is full of misery and is mostly a venting place for losers?>why do you think like that and when did you start thinking like that I think I've been this way for many years. I remember waking up over 10 years ago as an early teenager and being very depressed and having a feeling of dread wash over me everytime I got up. Even before that I remember maybe as early as 11 or 10 knowing that there was always something I worried or felt kinda sad about.>and when you did what did you start doing and if you still do what you did when those things started that could be whyI think my life has changed a lot since then it's probably been my whole life honestly, maybe it's just the way my brain is wired. It seems to be even worse when I try to change my daily rhytms and change things.
>>84907644I now this feeling. Usually its gone for like a few days or a week but then I start to worry about something new three weeks in the future. I think its something you only get with a certain type of childhood.
>>84907805That sounds a lot like medical depression. Have you ever been diagnosed with anything also do you remember the last time you were happy and why do you do things to get yourself into a better mood. I hope you know thing can get better I'm sorry you are sad. It could be brain wiring. Our minds are very powerful machines. I have bad days and good days and most of my days are good really good I'm a very smiley person I guess I am kind of weird in the sense that I just really do not like mainstream social media don't use it I don't ever come on here to vent I like to listen to people's problems and just yeah listen plus it is funny and very addicting. I think the reason why I am generally always happy is because I did look out in the genetic lottery and am independent with strong social relationships. My screen time is only 4chan /r9k/ YouTube and music
>>84907644I feel this way literally every day. all i can do is pace anxiously or lay down and I feel like crying all the time. it's awful I wish it could just go away but nothing helps. maybe if I had someone to love and comfort me it would feel better but idk. I'm sorry you have to go through the same thing anon I wish we could help each other... I'd make you feel better if I could
>>84907874>That sounds a lot like medical depression. Have you ever been diagnosed with anythingI am actually diagnosed with schizphrenia and formerly OCD, so it most likely is something related to that or whatever caused that, genes or whatever.>do you remember the last time you were happyI only feel a bit of happiness for short amounts of times, maybe if I see a family member I haven't seen for a long time or if I feel excited for some future plan like going out to eat. But last time I felt happy long term and satisfied or excited with the way my life was going in general? Must be like 2018.>why do you do things to get yourself into a better moodWhat?
>>84907875>all i can do is pace anxiously or lay down and I feel like crying all the timeMaybe I'm not in as bad of a place as you. It's rare that I cry, it's usually just a sad or dreaded feeling that I pent up inside myself. I might do stimming like movements but I already have ticks so it's hard to really tell.
>>84907942I meant what do you do I use text to speech and it is shit sometimes I need to stop doing that but it is easier and faster than typing. What did you have going for you in 2018 and are you medicated for your schizophrenia that sounds horrific to deal with and why did it get confused with OCD
>>84907969I understand now that it was two separate things why formally what happened to the OCD diagnosis that seems confusing that they would just get rid of that diagnosis unless it was something else which I am assuming is the schizophrenia that sounds like a lot damn I feel bad for you because I will never truly know what that experience is like so I cannot fully empathize and from what I've heard about it it sounds like hell
>>84907644Did you go through some shit growing up, OP?I don't think I've had a single day that I can remember where I could feel calm and content/happy.
>>84907969>I meant what do you doSleep or play video games.>What did you have going for you in 2018 I was just looking forward to life, I thought of myself being capable of doing just about anything, I graduated from primary school and was looking forward to what I could do in the future and I was young and still had things I was interested in doing. Then by around late 2019 my mental illness got worse and I started becoming extremely passive, like, I would do nothing at all and avoid things that I considered fun or productive or that would maybe be good for me in the future, I was extremely passive, I wouldn't even play video games. Just a downward spiral really.>why did it get confused with OCDIt still think what I have is OCD because I do a lot of repetivive small rituals like touch stuff or have ticks and have to think specific things in my head before doing almost any action or I think it might have consequences. I don't really hallucinate except for a few years ago when I started smelling certain things in relation to my OCD rituals. It got changed to schizophrenia because I basically exhibit all or most of the so called "negative" symptoms. But they thought the stuff I thought was OCD was akin to schizophrenic delusions because I think there might be real supernatural consequences if I don't do the repetitive behavior. I am not convinced bad things will happen but I do them just in case and I feel dizzy and like my mind is fading if I don't do them.
>>84908019>Did you go through some shit growing up, OP?I don't think so. My childhood was pretty uneventful desu, maybe I was slightly under stimulated actually. >>84907969> are you medicated for your schizophreniaI am but I started going out of my meds because I feel like it's not making my life better, I want to change things and I think my meds are making me tired and passive.
>>84908144Do you think it is possible that a combination of those rituals have combined with your routine leading to this kind of downward spiral that creates more negativity than it reduces I know a lot about OCD I had lived with someone that had OCD their entire life so I know how to navigate it completely I had to essentially Master it but I do not know anything about schizophrenia so I do not know if it is similar that there could be kind of harm prevention routines or what do you go more into those ticks what are those ticks like specifically and if it isn't OCD do you think those ticks tie into schizophrenia. I hope you know you do have it in you to change and things can and will get better and try it can be hard to try but it is possible very possible. I won't speak much on your medication but I do think it would be good to speak with your doctor about that
>pumper nickle toadstool following a catechism of pure glossirenew at slimmer bank sort
>>84908460Thank you. You are a rare kind person here. I am talking to the doctor about the meds.
>>84907874Anon you sound like a really neat person outside of this cesspool. You've really helped me simply by showing there are geniune people out there that wish to help others. I hope you will continue doing whatever you do and remain happy with your life. I will try something better with my life to become fulfilled with my life just like you.
>>84907644We're a part of a group of people who are destined to never be truly happy or fufilled.
>>84907644>>84907875i really wonder why some of us are like this
>>84907874Do you have a contact you could share I wish I had someone to talk to right now
