>>84916158
>non bpd
Anon . . .

>>84916158
I would be happy even with a bpd girl, I'd embrace her no matter what she has. I just don't get how anyone meets girls like that online in the first place.

>>84916158
Hi, lonely mentally ill neurotic SPD girl. The reason you don't meet us is that we are mentally ill, and unlike BPDers, we don't have the ability to socialize, in my case i don't even have the ability to leave my house or have any contact with anyone. BPD is the social mental illness (still bad ofc), the rest are the very lonely bad ones. Trust me if you knew everything about me, you wouldn't want to come 100km near me. Mentally ill is bad for a reason, and i'm a fucking mess.

File: 1782384800450292.gif (2.32 MB, 360x360)

2.32 MB GIF

>>84916850
he could fix you though

>>84916863
He could not. Nothing and no one can fix me. Meds help me put my brain to sleep so i don't have to fist fight with it nonstop, but my condition cannot be fixed with a hug and some dick. I wish it could, trust me.

To give you a wider perespective, i'm 21, and except for talking to my Dad, i have never in my life had a successful 1 sentence back and forth long conversation with another human being.

>>84916158
I has one of those but i'm not giving you her, she's mine

>>84916850
Not OP but I want to be affectionate with someone and I'm capable of unconditional love. I wish I could know everything about you no matter how awful it is. I want to love and embrace someone for who they are, both the good and bad. I don't think I could "fix" you and I don't want to anyway. All I would want is to help you feel less lonely and more loved.

>>84916908
NTA, what causes this and have you tried to ease it? And wait, are you the one with the thread of people trying to get you to bang your dad a while back?

>>84916850
Give me a chance, I would give you one.
-OP

>>84916935
>>84916936
>thread of people
Yeah, that's me. Great that this is what i'm recognized for first thing but... yeah that's me. Then again i don't really care if it's known about me or not, i don't care much about myself

>everything about you
Well short recap, i have extremely severe neurotic SPD since i was born. It's a condition that causes me to be unnable to form human connections or build feelings such as love and affection towards others, with the exception of my Dad. Also, it makes me basically alergic to people. Being near people is unpleasant, their voices sound like grenades going off in my ears, and worst of all is touch, which when unmedicated almost instantly triggers either a violent seizure or a neurotic outburst, while my brain boils itself alive in my head. Obviously it's not real pain, it's phantom pain, but to me it feels just the same. This basically prevents me from being able to have any kind of human contact, and that's why i'm on disability, i'm stuck in my room, i do nothing, i have no future prospects, my hygiene isn't great, i have trouble with even the smallest stuff, and i'm frying myself with a handful of meds i take.

On top of that, i basically ruined my Dad's life because i costed him his marriage, he supports me by letting me live with him which means he can't have women or friends over or anything, and there is just a lot of things that he does for me which are a burden, so i'm basically just one giant burden.

On top of that, over the years i have developed a very unhealthy attraction towards him. As the only person whos touch feels soothing, and the only person i feel love towards, by the time i was like 17 latest i was basically head over heels in love with him and also insanely sexually attracted to him, which persists until today. However i realize those feelings are incredibly wrong and harmful, and would only hurt him if i told him, but then also my brain pushes me towards acting on certain wants.

I'm a trainwreck.

>>84917114
Nevermind, I'm good
-OP

>>84916158
Im exactly like this but i don't like degenerates and you are probably one

>>84917153
Yup. Told you. The ILL in mentally ill stands for... you know... being actually ILL and having shit wrong with us.

Somehow despite hearing even more details about me, some people here told me that i'm somehow appealing. But i think those people would also just be like OH FUCK NO if they actually were to meet me, and somehow my condition doesn't make me instantly start screaming and drop to the floor, they would still go OH YEAH NVM BYE.

Don't worry, you can't hate me more than i hate myself for being what i am.

>>84917166
What do you consider degenerate?

>>84917298
Porn addicted

>>84917302
I do watch porn every few days but I also go long without it. Do you consider that addicted? I don't have any weird fetishes either.

>>84917302
nta but would you potentially be interested in a guy who is repulsed by porn but has a high libido and would be extremely attracted to his partner... I am a khhv but still I have lots of fantasies about romantic sex with my future gf