hi anon. how are you feeling? its almost the weekend, so dont give up! how has the week been? anything worth mentioning? also, whats your favourite season?
>>84920701My favorite season has always been winter but goddamn, here in France this heat wave was brutal so it made me hate summer even more. Summeroids are demons, they love summer because it reminds them of their home (hell). I had 33C in my home for the past few days thankfully it's over for now.
>>84920797>reminds them of their home (hell)really, i can't see any other reason why someone would like summer other than that. they mustve been summoned on this earth to make everyone miserable by saying stuff like "oh but at least in the summer the days are longer!" and inevitably contributing nothing to prove their point. i like spring the most, there's a lot of pretty flowers and i love them. also the weather is usually not bad.
>>84920701Hi!!!! Wow another Tao thread. We've been getting spoiled lately. Is Anon feeling good so Anon made a thread, or the opposite and Anon hopes talking to people will help him feel better?>how are you feeling?Tired, and pretty neutral but kinda fragile I would say? I feel like something could easily set me off but as long as things are mostly fine I think I'll feel okay too. Yesterday I felt weird, everything was fine and I didn't even feel bad really but I still kinda wanted to kill myself. >its almost the weekendIt *is* the weekend for me! Yaay. This was a short week too, I only worked two days instead of the usual four. Though one of those days was pretty stressful as I had to work at a different house than usual. I dreaded it so much, but it turned out mostly okay. I worked alone there so it was kinda comfy not having any coworkers. At one point though the kid I was supposed to supervise told me to "go away" when I knocked on his door to give him his meds lole, that hurt more than it should have for some reason. I'm pretty sure he just doesn't like to be bothered and would tell that to anyone but I can't help taking it personally and feeling rejected...I've really been finding myself wanting to go back to NEETing this week, I guess it's because I sort of got a taste of it thanks to the long weekend. It feels like I've been working for so long already, but there's still no end in sight... I gotta save up a lot more before I can NEET for any decent length of time.Cont.
>>84920701>>84920869Cont.>anything worth mentioning?Nothing else really worth mentioning to be desu. I guess I can say I still haven't found an affordable program at any of those mental health clinics, and at this point I think I called all of the ones in my area so it's ogre. I guess it's not happening. Plan B is to find an in-person psychiatrist at least, since supposedly they may be able to have more leeway in prescribing stuff compared to a virtual one like the one I've been seeing. But I'm disappointed nonetheless. Then again, I guess it's not like any of this stuff is gonna help anyway, so maybe it's a blessing in disguise.>whats your favourite season?Winter, duh! It has snow!!!! That's all you really need for happiness. Too freaking bad I haven't seen any snow in almost ten years now... Summer is probably my second favorite, even though I hate the heat I do really like how green the trees are and everything. Then autumn, because it's beautiful when the leaves turn yellow, but it's kind of meh once the leaves have all fallen off. And thus spring is last, sadly. Even though it's your favourite. I dunno, I do kind of like flowers blooming and whatnot, but I don't like how the weather starts getting hotter and how if there was a snowy winter all the snow starts to melt and there's puddles everywhere. Plus, it's just too... cheerful? Hopeful? In terms of the image it has in my mind. Which my depressed ass doesn't like very much.Have you had any shifts at all this week or has it been eternal weekend for you? Also what'd you do yesterday, did you go somewhere interesting? You were gone for like the whole day. Also also, in the last thread you mentioned you went to the mental ward and they gave you tests??? Didn't you say you went to the regular hospital before?>>84920833Naisu flowers also. Orange is my favorite color for them I thinks.
This week I got in a big fight with my mom of which she clearly feels guilty so she sent me a pic of over $500 worth of fireworks and told me to come over this 4th. I think I will instead of going to my bf's friends. They all want to go watch a gay little downtown parade I already went to 2 years ago with one of them and it was awkward. It was like, a small town parade for kiddies and his friends are all early 30's men. They wouldn't even really talk to us (he is the only friend with a gf) and we just sat awkwardly while they stood like statues and stared at the parade. We were going to go to a car show after but his buddy was rude to my bf over his tshirt so we went home, it was weird, my bf excused them later but I think they are bad friends. They haven't come to see him once since he moved in with me over a year and a half ago and I can tell it hurts my bfs feelings. My family has a pool, firepit, disc golf course, wooded path, pool table, great place in the country to set off fireworks and my parents are so generous they said my bfs friends could even come party but none of them want to make the 2 hour drive. There'd be plenty of space for them to sleep in spare beds or camp but they just don't want to. I miss when my family would have huge 80+ people fourth of july parties and we'd have motorhomes and tents on the lawn and every spare surface would have somebody snoring on it in the house. What happened to people nobody wants to just have fun anymore. I don't get it they are all outdoorsey guys and are planning a big backpacking hike coming up but I feel like they are boring. I want to have a fun fourth of july and my bf seems to be leaning towards spending it with me again I wish his friends would have some fun. I'd compromise and just go do a cookout or fireworks or a fire after the parade and car show but none of them want to..
>>84920869i just feel pretty neutral overall, and also kinda bored since i've got nothing interesting to do>but kinda fragile I would say?i get that feeling yes.>still no end in sightjust two more weeks...>so it's ogrethats a bummer. really sucks that you cant even get the help you need despite you trying your hardest to get it. good luck with gettign the one in-person though, maybe it'll be better in terms of like, improving social stuff about yourself too>I hate the heat I do really like how green the trees areisn't spring green but not too hot? i used to like winter the most too, but the severe lack of snow kinda made me not like it that much anymore. its a bit of a depressing season>shiftsthey haven't called me to sign the contract yet so no, nothing. i'll go myself tonight to ask if there are any updates because so far waiting has brought me absolutely nothing. yesterday i went to a thrift shop and then i bought a puzzle and did that for 3 hours. among other things which i cannot remember as of now.>mental wardi meant tthe psychologist i was seeing i just didnt want to explain the whole thing so i just said mental ward instead to give the idea>>84920902i think you should get off my board
>>84921264>feel pretty neutralThat's really great compared to how you usually feel! Hopefully it lasts for a while. Even I can't complain too much when I feel neutral.>boredGood, good... means more Taothreads for me! But hm did you find any new games to play maybe? I saw you tried Stronghold 4, was it any good? >two more weeksIndeed... but actually, two more years might be how long I have to suffer this for. That's assuming I don't lose this job and have to eat into my savings to live off while I look for another though, which is a big if. Also assumes I don't waste all my money on useless therapy heh. Which I might because I want to fix my depression before I go NEET, otherwise there isn't much point... I want to actually be able to do things with my free time instead of wasting it all on sleeping or daydreaming. Perhaps that's too much to ask for though... I'm losing hope of it ever being possible.>cant even get the helpIndeed. Funny how people tell you you "deserve" help but then it's impossible to actually get it if you try. I remember when I was looking for a therapist it was like that too, I called like 20 or 30 of them before I found a single one that had an available spot and actually answered my voice mails. Everyone else just ignored me or was full.>improving social stuff Mm I'm not entirely sure what you mean but I don't think it would be? I feel less anxious to talk to someone in person than over video to be desu. For some reason over video it's even more awkward in my opinion. Also most of the sessions are probably going to be like 15 minutes long so I don't think it's going to make much of a difference anyways. >isn't spring greenWell late spring is I guess? So I do like that, as well as early fall before the leaves fall off. But most of spring isn't green, at least not in a place with proper winters. I guess where you live the leaves sprout up pretty early? In like April or something? In that case I might like it more. Cont.
>>84921264>>84921655Cont.>severe lack of snowYeah, it's not a great season if it's without snow. The leafless trees are kinda depressing to look at, too much monotone brown. It's really sad how climate change made it so snow is less common pretty much everywhere now... Here where I live now winter is still the best season though, even without snow, because things stay green and it's not *as* hot at least, but in a place like yours I do see myself disliking it. >they haven't called meHm they sure seem to be pretty slow when it comes to these things... going there by yourself indeed seems like a good idea, gotta remind them you exist before they forget about you or something. >thrift shopAhh that sounds fun! I've been meaning to go to one myself but as always I keep putting it off because I hate going anywhere apparently. I don't know why it's such a pain even if it seems like it'd be fun. What kind of stuff did they have there? I imagine it's mostly clothes? Did you find anything you wanted? >puzzleI'm surprised you can focus well enough to do something like that. I guess music helps but I think I'd get too bored, certainly wouldn't have the stamina to go for 3 hours. Or at least I didn't when I tried those online puzzle sites where you can do it with other people, but maybe the lack of tactility there is what makes it boring. I guess you also got into hyperfocus mode or something. What picture did it have on it? Did you finish it? Are you gonna display it anywhere?>i meant tthe psychologistAh, okay, sorry I got confused by it, makes sense you were just using it a shorthand
>>84921264>my boardSorry I've been here longer than you and I own it actually
>>84922933Another zoomer here, I vote for your excommunication from /our/ board, we're in the Zoomer Dynasty now, you have no power here tbdesu
>>84920701have the entire week off before summer school!! feel pretty great even if i've been just rotting away. i've also made the goal to do core everyday and still going strong :)
>>84922986You need to respect your elders kiddo
>>84921655>any new gamesnothing that interesting. im replaying hades and thats kinda fun. also no, stronghold 4 is awful just like any other game firefly studios made after stronghold crusader.>fix my depressionwho is gonna tell him?>before I go NEETcant you really think of anything else you'd like to do with money other than neet? any other objective?>sprout up pretty early?i guess so, here spring catches up pretty fast and everything is green in the first weeks of april>they forget about you or somethingseems like it happens very often in that place. i guess it makes sense considering not a soul there is below 60 years old>kind of stuff did they have there?mostly had furniture and old books. no clothes at all either, and no, didnt find anything. they did have a cheap classic guitar though.>you can focus well enough to do something like thati had someone help me doing it otherwise no, i wouldnt have had the patience. i guess maybe i would if i get hyperfixated on finishing it. its a hello kitty one, and i dunno i sure won't display it in my room... not even close to finishing it either.>>84922933>own itprove it by banning everyone that posts racebait and the likes or its a lie>>84922997>week offnice desu. do you have anything planned? also its okay to be rotting away sometimes. we cant always be productive.>core everydayvery good. i try to do it too although im focusing more on other parts.
>>84923006We're tired of this gerontocracy of your kind, things need to change.
>>84923099>replaying hadesThat does look like a good game, I like Greek mythology. And I suppose it has good replayability too so it's a good choice to play again. You don't do that very often, do you? I like to replay games though, it's usually more fun than playing them the first time for some reason. It's a bit annoying because it's yet another reason I can never get through my backlog as quickly as I'd like, but it's just a lot more comfy to play something you already know than to try something new. I suppose for you replaying stuff is usually just boring though? But what if you wait a few years, don't you have bad memory and will forget everything about the game? >stronghold 4 is awfulWelp that sucks. What's bad about it though? Anything concrete or is it just the "feel" that's off?>who is gonna tell him?Lole. Please don't tell me, I want to keep living in la la land. Also it's funny but my mood has steadily declined today and now I am pretty miserable, so that's encouraging. Though, my therapist thinks I can fix it and even experience joy from simple things like a child again... I wonder what sort of high-grade hopium she's huffing.>other than neet? any other objective?Is there really anything better out there? I just want to rest, I'm tired. Do you think it's a bad goal to have? I can't really think of anything else though... I don't particularly want to travel like you do, though I'd like to visit Italy obviously. I sure as heck don't want to start a family. I don't want a car. I don't want a home (renting is better for me I thinks because I don't like to stay in one place for too long). What else is money even useful for? I mean, if I had billions I could definitely think of some cool things to do, but realistic amounts of money are pretty useless once you have the basics covered. Actually this makes me curious, if you were as rich as some of the richest men alive right now, what would you do with all that money? Cont.
>>84923099>>84923350Cont.>everything is green in the first weeks of aprilAh, in that case I think I would like spring quite a lot. I bet it's a very saturated sort of green, too. But if it's a choice between this and a proper snowy winter I'd still choose the latter I guess. Having 4 fully-fledged seasons is really the best, it's too samey and boring otherwise. >not a soul there is below 60Oh huh, didn't realize they were all boomers. It's a good mix at my workplace,but no one is that old, it's all people in their 40s and below, with a fair amount of people younger than me. I assume you would rather be working with people your age?>no clothesHuuuh that's really odd, my image of a thrift store might be totally wrong. Or perhaps it's just that American ones mostly have clothes. Furniture is pretty boring, but old books sounds like something I'd enjoy looking through a lot! I'm surprised you didn't find any that piqued your interest. To be fair, I can also see myself spending hours looking through them and not finding any that are interesting enough to actually buy. That's what happened last time I went to a library. Speaking of books, did you ever finish that one you were reading? Did you start anything new?>had someone help meI see, if we could chat about something while doing it maybe I could enjoy doing a puzzle too.>hello kittyPerhaps I shouldn't be surprised given there's all kinds of Hello Kitty merch, but I didn't expect them to have a puzzle too. Sounds kind of boring though if it's just Hello Kitty on a white background though, or does it have a more colorful background maybe? And dang, 3 hours and still not finished... I definitely would never be able to complete a puzzle like that.
>>84920701Wassup Hutanon! I meant to reply to you in the last thread but it died before I could... sorry for being so sluggish.>how are you feeling?Why is there never an easy answer to this question? "I'm feeling great! Despite the murderous thoughts I had earlier today but don't worry about that."Had a chill week overall, still very busy trying to get my project to a usable state.. the grind never ends.>whats your favourite season?Definitely not summer, either autumn or winter. I know this kills your flowers but I hate spring allergies and muh soul vibes more with cold seasons.I got lucky this summer though, been staying at a place where I don't have to worry about melting alive. The weather here just works and it rains regularly, it's amazing. The downside is that I'm in the middle of nowhere, but it's not really a downside for someone like me. Would you be able to live in an isolated place by yourself?Anyway I hope you've been doing well. Browsing this board feels like a humiliation ritual but I approve your threads.
>>84923420hi anon, nice digits. also, its okay, if you didnt reply in time.>the murderous thoughts I had earlierhmmm, what originated those? im pretty sure its not that uncommon to get them though. everyone wanted to kill someone else at least a few times in their lives. good luck with your project also, am i ever going to know what it is exactly or is it a secret?>spring allergiesunderstandable, im lucky enough to not be allergic to anything. though i am really weak to warm temperatures. anything above 30 destroys me completely.>at a place where I don't have to worry about melting alivemust be nice. is it on a mountain or somewhere like that? i've stayed in a mountain town for a couple of days a month ago and it was really really nice. best experience of this year>in an isolated place by yourself?old me would've said yes without a doubt, but now, maybe not. i'd live somewhere isolated if there's at least another person i enjoy being with. otherwise i think it would be too hard. sigh, i miss being able to be happy alone...>feels like a humiliation rituali sure do hope you're using filters anon.
>>84923350>don't do that very oftenno, never actually. technically its not even a replay, since the game is a rogue like i've only won a run once and then never played it again>forget everythingi think that would really nice desu.>bad about it thoughbad UI. bad controls. bad AI. there's a new "Honour" system which sucks and isn't intuitive at all. they removed many features from old games and the units look like ass. the environments and buildings do look nice though and they added some verticality with the maps which is cool.>anything better out there?than rotting in your room? i would hope so. but i guess it depends on the person>would you do with all that money?buy everything i'd need or like and do that for my family too then calculate how much money i'd need to live comfortably and travel for the rest of my life then give the rest of it away to charities and whatnot. i dont even want that much money. my goals are beyond money. which sadly makes everything harder. i wish i just wanted money and nothing else.>with people your age?no, i would like to be working with people that give enough shits to call me instead of forgetting about it>that one you were reading?uhhh no. i havent been reading for a while. i play chess instead (and lose)>it have a more colorful background maybeits got a billion of really annoying candies that are all samey colours and its incredibly hard to find the pieces of them. god i hate that puzzle. its 1000 pieces also.
>>84920701I began to sleep bad again lately so life has been quite tiresome, I feel like a zombie and haven't any will power to study or read because I feel like I'm going to forget it all by the next day. I hate all seasons because the weather is always shit, either too many rains or too many sun. What about you? Hope things are better than with me.
>>84924170if you've got trouble with sleeping i suggest you talk to your doctor about it and get some sleeping pills. they helped me deal with mine a bitcan relate to the zombie feeling although i just cope by saying to myself eventually ill learn something or improve if i keep trying>What about you?my favourite season is spring. there's lots of flowers and i like nature. autumn is my second fav
>>84924510The problem with sleeping pills is that their effect decrease along the time and if I'm not mistaken it starts to fuck with your REM sleep, so I'm afraid of getting addicted. I'm already on melatonin and honestly I don't see myself being able to live without it in the next years. I also had some anxiety towards sleeping in the dark lately which fucked me up, pretty pathetic I know, I will try to fight it today instead of sleeping with the lights on.Do you still use the sleeping pills? If not, what fixed you?
>>84920701>hi anonhaai taoanon>how are you feeling?sorta bad but that's probably just because i am bad ad interpersonal things and am misinterpreting things yet again so i am trying to ignore that :3After all 99.999% of all happenings only occurred in my head only so why would this one be any different?>how has the week been?so damn hot. we almost hit 40c today, we usually only get cold, clouds, and rain over here!>anything worth mentioning? i am sorta trying to get used to digital with screen -less tablets again and its going terribly (there is a reason picrel is zoomed out a lot, pls dont zoom in) but i sorta overcame the big hurdle today so it should only get better from now on ^^i hope that i get some creativity back soon so i can draw 100% from imagination but that's a lot to ask for right now>also, whats your favourite season?winter (when its actually snowing) and spring are cool. summer is too hot and boring and autumn, while sovlful, is also too hot over here.
>>84924604>live without it in the next yearswithout melatonin? i mean, i really dont think its that addictive anon. i have tried too and it did nothing to me, i have also been on the sleeping pills which are basically discount benzos for almost a year now (and i also take them when im under too much stress even if i shouldnt) yet they haven't affected me negatively in any way. i guess my situation was already quite bad so i didnt care about my rem phases because i couldnt sleep at all anyhow.>sleeping in the darki dont think thats pathethic, im not entirely comfortable in complete darkness either. i mean, we're diurnal creatures and the moon always has been natural light at night so, it makes sense we dont wanna be in complete darkness.>>84924729hi anone>99.999% of all happenings only occurred in my headi can relate to that a lot... we just have to make our head shut up. everything else will be fine as long as we manage that. hopefully>almost hit 40cthat is awful. i think we almost got there aswell here, god, i wish i lived in the mountains. i have the fan on 24/7 these days>dont zoom ini have an addon that automatically zooms in when i hover over pictures, sorry not sorry. picrel looks cute though
>>84924806>everything else will be fine as long as we manage that. hopefullyactually it will. things do get better but somehow brains are able to overshadow real and really beneficial improvements with imaginary bad things very easily.im working on the 2 things that absolutely fucked my life and while recovering what's lost is pretty much impossible, its still getting better compared to how it was just half a year ago. doesn't feel like it though cause brains are dicks and should go to hell reeeee>i have the fan on 24/7 these dayssame. all these 'merricans make me wonder why we euros don't have A/C by default. Not like modern systems have any real downsides and needing it run for like only 2 weeks is a negligible cost.>i have an addonis it 4chanX or 4chanXT? might wanna try https://github.com/cercos/4chan-next instead. you can just export your old settings and import it over there, is compatible with everything and feels a billion times better.>picrel looks cute thoughyeah but if you know some fundamentals and are even a little self-critical its easy to spot a billion mistakes and hate your own stuff and yourself way more than any hater could. I get told to kms multiple times per day and it means nothing to me but looking at that pic actually makes me sorta sad..also thanks <3Also my second monitor just arrived yesterday. Its worse than my main one but damn does it make a difference. I love it and am considering getting a third one just cause it can (it was 20 bucks with shipping) but i dunno how much more useful that would be to be honest.
>>84924806>without melatonin?Yep.>i really dont think its that addictive anonI never had to increase the dose in all these years I've been using it, but I just can't sleep without it anymore. I already had zolpidem once (bought it from an ex friend) and while it really helped me sometimes, there were days where I was tired and would try to use them in the afternoon to try to nap (I can't nap through the day normally) and would be okay after some time, just with a slight feeling of nausea (while when my friends took it for recreative reasons, they told me it was almost impossible not to fall asleep). Do you have problems to maintain your sleep or to start it?>it makes sense we dont wanna be in complete darknessTo be honest, around 2 months ago I was sleeping with the lights completely on, I've only started to gradually lower the brightness now.
>>84924911>imaginary bad things very easilyindeed. i just wish we'd be able to keep these affirmations in mind whenever our brain takes over. sadly its never really gonna happen unless someone is there to remind us i suppose>we euros don't have A/C by defaultuh muh enviromental impact uh muh >is it 4chanX or 4chanXT?oh i dunno. one of the two. i installed it ages ago and so far it's been good enough for me to not want to change anything>are even a little self-criticaluh huh. except you are not a little self critical anon, you are VERY self critical. so just take a compliment will you? i dont really care if the cake on the table doesnt look perfect, its still a cake. and i love cakes.>third onei feel like that would just be overkill. 2 monitors is the perfect setup desu. i've had my oldest one for like 8 years now>>84924978>Yepi didnt think it could get that serious...>cant sleep without itare you sure its not just a placebo effect? i mean, melatonin cant be that powerful. maybe it just didnt work for me though i dunno.>almost impossible to not fall asleepthats not really true as long as you keep yourself busy doing something, like playing a game or whatnot. although it does kinda disable you entirely as your body feels incredibly sluggish when you're on it. really nice feeling overall though.>to maintain your sleep or to start it?ive had trouble falling asleep for the longest time. it would take me hours and hours of staring at the ceiling and sometimes i just wouldnt even be able to fall asleep at all. still am sometimes, even on sleeping pills. >the lights completely onhm, well that surely doesn't help with sleeping properly, yep.
>>84923560>what originated those?Stupid people saying stupid things like they had no brain at all, which is as common as water in the ocean but it involves me directly so it made me pretty mad.>am i ever going to know what it is exactly or is it a secret?I wouldn't mind telling you but I'd rather not do it here... I'm also on the verge of giving up again after today's beta testing session that ended up with 4 new bugs getting added on the already too long list, so I'd better stay away from negative feedback for the time being...>im lucky enough to not be allergic to anythingLucky indeed. Meanwhile I feel lucky when I survive another spring.>anything above 30 destroys me completelySame, it's so hard to do anything that isn't suffering when it gets that hot. It gives me a +50% depression debuff.>is it on a mountainYup, best place I've stayed at in my whole life tbdesu. What's keeping you from going again? Expensive?>if there's at least another person i enjoy being withI understand... I'm not sure I could do it either. I like being alone but it makes me feel uneasy when I'm in complete isolation.>filtersNahh, I get the *raw* experience, otherwise how can I regret it?
>>84925072>i didnt think it could get that serious...The problem probably is just me, I was already too bad when I started to use it.>are you sure its not just a placebo effect?I'm not really sure, but does it really change something if it's a placebo? I mean, I already tried other supplements too and none of them worked so well on me. It doesn't magically resolve everything but I didn't feel even a little bit sleepy at night when I needed to sleep back then.>maybe it just didnt work for me though i dunnoWhat dosage did you take?>thats not really true as long as you keep yourself busy doing somethingNow I don't know if I built resistance too fast, if you already built resistance to it nowadays, or if it really isn't as strong as people pretend it to be.>ive had trouble falling asleep for the longest timeWhen did it all started for you? For me it was around the time I was 13. Basically I spent a long time sleeping bad for a reason that has already been solved, but when I tried to finally sleep normally again, my brain was already too messed up.
>>84920701gotta kill myself TONIGHT
>>84925072>sadly its never really gonna happen unless someone is there to remind us i supposeyou either grow desynthesized to it or if you wanna be funny you could maintain a logbook of sorts that tells you that you may not want to die in the future or something. I dunno, i really wish i knew something that would help people like us right now. its good that there is at least this avenue to talk and notice these things. god knows what would happen if everybody like this would think that they would be the only ones like this in the world.>uh muh enviromental impact uh muhyeah but modern systems are just fine in that regard..most of europe doesn't get that hot for the most part so A/C doesnt need to run for long, thus meaning little electricity used, and modern refrigerants are also harmless. From what i know you use pure Co2 for that many times which is really nothing. Driving your car a bit is sure to surpass the volume that is contained in that contained system. I think.>except you are not a little self critical anon, you are VERY self criticali know and i wouldn't even post that if were sober right now ^^im trying to get better and actually it is getting better but it was still enough to get noted in the PSSI score that the psych ward gave me <3i hate myself so damn much >i dont really care if the cake on the table doesnt look perfect, its still a cake. and i love cakes.realized this a while ago but for some reason my head makes me assume that everybody sees the world the same as i do, thanks autism, so iu still judge everything id o this way.>i feel like that would just be overkill.yeah but its only 20 euros and has this cool rotatable stand thing. i can tilt and pan it for only 20 euros at will!!that's gotta be worth more than that. even if i only use my second one for the occasional text message and music player..
>hi anonHellow Taoanon, nice to see you.>how are you feeling?I'm doing good, how 'bout you?>how has the week been? It'sbeen nice.anything worth mentioning? Finally got rid of some health problems.>also, whats your favourite season?Summer, it ain't that hot where I live, it has some nice light rains and it has some nice holidays and celebrations.
>>84925161>Stupid people saying stupid thingsyeah i suppose thats pretty common indeed. i try my best to not care about anything anyone says, ever. the stuff they say that rarely does get on my nerves though, usually stays there for a good while. forever, even.>I'd rather not do it hereoh, thats okay. then i wish you good luck and less bugs in your secret working journey anon.>that isn't suffering when it gets that hotvery true, although i have this kind of mindset that lets me do stuff because, "i will suffer if i do this thing because i dont wanna and its hot, but, even if i dont do it, i will suffer anyway simply for existing in a hot environment, so ill just do it anyway". yeah, i dont know, i manage to be functional somehow. its just a really miserable type of functional.>Expensive?yes. i was invited by someone and basically didnt have to pay anything if not for a few drinks or snacks. i guess all the luck i've accumulated in my life is appearing this year.>how can I regret it?good point honestly>>84925190>if it's a placebo?i guess not, unless you realize its placebo and can then just, stop using whatever it is you're using since you know its not actually doing much. but i dont think this is the case anyhow.>dosage2mg>isn't as strong as people pretend it to bei think this is the case as im assuming whoever is taking this doesn't really do other drugs so whatever gives them a slight buzz or weird feeling is "strong">When did it all started for you?uhhh... ever since i was a kid i guess? like 8 or 9 or even sooner. i've always had problems sleeping. i can count on my hand the amount of times i've managed to have a good night's rest and i remember each and every time it happened. i've had the luck to get a really good one recently and i will never forget how rested i felt the morning after. ah....>>84925198no anon, you gotta sleep well and have an amazing night TONIGHT
>>84925215>a logbook of sortsthat would be my journal. i think you should be keeping one too if you haven't already. most of mine has been nothing but me being miserable, but a few pages in it are a good reminder of why i should try to keep going despite it all.>doesn't get that hot for the most parti meeaaan have you seen the latest temperatures? the only liveable countries are the northern ones. everywhere else its literal hell>if were sober right nowim not sure i remember the last time you were sober desu. oh well. i haven't been drinking much lately (except today) but on the opposite i have started taking some more benzos than what i should be taking.>everybody sees the world the same as i doi tend to think that too, although now im able to remind myself everytime its needed that it is not like that. we are the biggest judges of ourselves. no one will ever care about our issues as much as we do. so we just gotta learn how not to care ourselves.>only 20 euros and has this cool rotatable stand thing(((they))) want you to spend money on stuff you dont actually need anon. dont fall for the consumerism trap, you dont NEED that monitor, you only want it because in your head its a deal. which is not, because you dont need it in the first place. would you buy a rock if instead of it being 10 euros it was on sale for 10 cents? probably not. its still just a rock.>>84925290hi anon, im doing okay. just kinda overheating.>got rid of some health problems.thats really nice desu. im glad you're feeling better! keep up the good work and next week is going to be nice too im sure.>nice holidays and celebrationshm, i have noticed that most of our holidays and stuff are during the colder months. maybe thats why so many people prefer those here.ill be going to sleep now, thanks anons for talking with me today, see you soon and have a good night or day.
>>84925346good night anon~i'll continue anything of note next time is one of your thrteads i guess. i almost finished 1.5L of sangrian and i dunni how how i am noit falliong assleep yet.good night and till next time. thanks for talking to all of todau again <3
>>84925291>stop using whatever it is you're using since you know its not actually doing muchI already tried and things got worse, that's why I think it's not placebo.>2mgI take 5mg, dunno if I should recommend it to you, especially because you're already on meds and the effect would probably be weaker compared to proper prescribed meds, but it's still a possibility of something that can make your sleep better. I'm scared of taking more than this dousage so I wouldn't recommend you to do it if you get interested, although I know some people say it's okay until 10mg.>and i will never forget how rested i felt the morning afterI know how you few, I also can count on my fingers how many good nights I had in the last few years. I didn't expect you would also deal with it when I entered the thread, now I understand part of why you're suicidal, it really sucks to live always tired.Have a good night.
>>84925346Good night, have a nice sleep.
>>84924604>>84924806Melatonin is non habit forming (outside of psychologically thinking "I need this to sleep" which can happen to literally anything such as a baby blanket).For anxiety purposes, I can not recommend valerian root enough. it's available over the counter (more literally, on the shelves) in every country (it's an herb), since I live in the US I can attest that it's in walgreens, kroger, and more. A little for anxiety, a little more for sleep. You can get it in leaf form if you prefer it as tea.Also what can be helpful for sleep is getting immediate sun exposure in the morning when you wake (if it's actually morning when you wake up) due to sun wavelength doing things to brain I will neglect to explain here but you can look it up.Of second importance is generalized sleep hygiene, but you can also look that up.
>>84925072>melatonin cant be that powerful. maybe it just didnt work for me though i dunno.It's sort of dose dependent. 1mg works best for me, though taking 5mg doesn't work at all. If you attempt to try it out, you should try the liquid version first so you can basically fuck with the dosing levels, to find out what works best for you.Also, it's not a "sleeping" drug, it's a drug that tells body "it's time to sleep". Meaning, if you take it and then start playing vidya, then lol. Also also, it's a sort of thing you want to take 1-2 hours before bed, as again it's a "tell body it's time to start getting sleepy" thing.
>>84923607Guh, fell asleep again...>never actuallyHuh. Why not? Have you tried it and didn't like it or are you so opposed to it you've never even tried?>would really niceWait so you don't forget everything?? I thought you had bad memory though. I forget everything and wish I didn't...>bad UIMm I see, that is a lot of bad indeed. Sucks that developers of classic games can apparently forget how to make them.>rotting in your room?It's only rotting if I'm not doing anything. I was hoping if I fixed my depression I could get a hobby or something at least. Then it wouldn't be rotting in my opinion. Either way I really can't think of anything else I'd want to do... it's nice you have your traveling thing but there isn't anything like that for me I don't think. Or I haven't found it yet anyways.>away to charitiesOh that's really nice of you, I guess I should have expected it since you hate being selfish. I'd probably donate some to charities too but would mostly spend it selfishly. >play chessOh neat, chess is pretty alright. You lose though??? I remember we played that one match a long time ago and I lost pretty badly to you lol. I guess that means I'm even worse at it than I thought.>candiesAh that sounds pretty annoying indeed. I would probably ragequit pretty quickly.
