Bitch I haven't even peaked yet

>>84975380
My entire life has been a trainwreck.

>>84975380
About when puberty started so 9-10

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>>84975380
You have to start from a high point to go down hill. My life is a slow crawl upward.

>>84975380
somewhere around the age of 24 things started getting really bleak and scary

>>84975380
about 12, when i stated believing women i talked to could concieve any understanding of unconditional love.

5 or 6 due to being very short, one of the smallest kids my age at school. It never got better even though I grew up to be 5'8" (still below average)

>>84975380
I think I was 2 when my mom slapped me for spilling water out of tub while bathing and I slipped, hitting my brow on faucet. I don't think I ever recovered from that moment.

>>84975380
7 or 8

>>84975380
When I was 19 I took a shit ton of psychedelics and ever since then I've been retarded.

I was born on the top of Mt Everest

>>84975380
Whatever age I was in second grade I forgot

>>84975380
Like 12 years old. Mom left with me with my youth group pastor and that faggot molested me and I've just been a fucked up person since. I looked him up on fb and I think about just killing him and chilling in prison reading for the rest of my life.

>>84975380
14 years old.
Mother walked out of my life to do drugs. Father was a barely functioning autist with diabetes decided I was old enough to become his mommy and started having to take care of him, myself and my brother. Tried weed and alcohol for the first time and my grandma ob my dad's side passed away.
14 was the end of my youth and childhood. I'm 30 now and only now am I beginning to realize what was robbed from me because no one wanted to take care of me or my literal autistic father.

>>84975380
I had a "girlfriend" in 4th grade, then she moved to another school 5th grade, then I got fat, got braces, glasses, and a crippling masturbation/porn addiction, so probably around 10-11 years old is when I realized nothing really matters and you can lose anything and everything in the blink of an eye

>>84975380
>started going downhill for you?
im a 34 yo virgin with severe ED. you tell me.

>>84975380
When I was 10. The exact moment was when I was called to the principles' office and informed my Dad and older brother died from a crash with a drunk driver. This ultimately caused my mom to spiral into alcoholism until one day I came home from college at 19 and found her dead, apparently she had died from alcohol poisoning. Also the only woman I was genuinely thinking about marrying ended up cheating on me and then lied that she was pregnant for 4 months before trying to charge me with rape allegations which led to me having to abandon my hometown and move across the country.

Been by myself since. Needless to say I am extremely fucked up and I dont think I can actually love a person anymore.

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>>84975380

Downhill since birth. Which is funny because I really am blessed in so many ways, I practically consider myself to have won life at birth. (Genetics, country, family) Nothing really matters to me aside from gaining a deeper understanding of myself / achiving my own maxium potential. Because I, as a single link in the chain, am not really that important. It's this, I think, that harms us more than anything else, compared to how it used to be. It's not like if you died in the past it would have brought humanity down along with it--no person was ever THAT important. But at least back then you got to feel as if you mattered and had importance. We don't exactly have any less individual importance now. But we sure as hell do not get to feel it the way we used to.

Middle school onward was rough but college was good and I am in a good place now

23. My fiancee who I had been with for over 7 left while I was in a business trip and had all her stuff moved out of our house and just left me with a note saying she was moving to Mexico with someone who was in our Church to start a new life. Was later informed by her sister that she had been planning to move away since before I proposed but felt bad for me so stuck around for longer. I have no idea how long she was cheating on me but her father suggested it was at least 3 years. No they never told me where she went and no, I never got the ring back. That was 10 years ago and I still haven't emotionally recovered it feels like.

>>84975987
Well fuck anon

>>84975875
Which ones? I did those chinese knock research chems in my 20's and i think it damaged my brain.

>>84975910
Have you never pressed charges anon? I do not know if statuate of limitations passed but you deserve justice

>>84976122
God damn bro, that's rough. Usually just bust balls on here but I feel for you.

>>84976122
Never marry young. I feel for you anon

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>>84975926
Good lord anon. Could give us some more details? That pains to read this along with what other anons are posting on here. How did you have to take care of your father? Are still in contact with him? Do you resent him for it? How did you fare yourself? How are you doing these days? I am so sorry anon.

>>84976135
I'm 35 now so I doubt anyone would take it seriously and noway to prove it. Back then I didn't tell anyone, it was a really weird thing to deal with at 12. Kind of wonder if he did it to anyone else, hope not. But yeah at this point nothing I can really do besides rot or get revenge.

>>84976207
Never too late to go to authorities and stop him from hurting others

>>84975380
Gotta be 26. I dropped out of college with no plan, met a woman who wound up playing me big time, and entrenched myself with the worst kind of small town people. Four years, the last of my youth, right down the drain.

At 11 I made an enemy on school and we fighted a lot. He destroyed my self-esteem and gave me social anxiety and depression. On top of that I had "friends" that actually made fun of me and my brother and mother were constantly fighting after her and my father divorce. Things got better but I never fully recovered. At 19 years old I don't have any friends and depending on the week my default mood is sadness. Despite that I realize that I have it way better than some anons here.

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>>84975380
My life began in the lowest chasm. I've been climbing upward ever since.

>>84975380
17.
I graduated from high school and that's where laziness kick in, full throttle.
I wasn't a good student. Rather than that, I had nothing else to do besides homework in my shitty, backwater school. Once that ended, I found myself with nothing meaningful going on in my life, while feeling it was too late for me to even start something as the years went on.
I am more optimistic towards life now in my thirties but looking back, things would have turned out better if I had become a wagie at 16 or 18 instead of aimlessly walking into college with no clear purpose just to drop out a year later.

>>84976220
That's the thing though, at this point what proof do i have? It's not like he'd admit to it.

>>84975380
Conception

>>84975987
Shiiiiiiit.........
>Muted

>>84976192
>How did you have to take care of your father?
Monitor his blood sugar levels constantly because he would often be lazy and not want to check it. If it got too low he would have a seizure and if got too high he'd go into a coma. I had to save his life from both ends multiple times which we're pretty traumatic for a teenager with no medical experience to go through. On top of this I needed to learn how to cook by myself because my dad refused to cook on my 14th birthday and said I had to do it if we were going to eat that night. So not only was I my dad's dietician and personal maid I was also responsible for ALL, not some but all household chores because "I didnt have a job." This led to many things like me almost failing high school and having no social life for my entire teen years.
>Still in contact with him?
I still live with him now though I've moved out a few times. The living situation right now is better than living by myself.
>Do you resent him for it?
On some level yes because he is my father and he should have been the role of dad to me but instep I basically had to play housewife and personal nurse for my entire teen years pretty much. That said, it's not like he could change the fact that he was legit autistic and had genetic-caused diebetes. I'm moreso upset with everyone on my dad's side basically turning a blind eye to me and him and expected me, a then literal child still, to take care of a barely functional adult.
>How did you fare?
It was rough and it screwed mind up. I'm extremely sensitive to anger from people to the point where I get nervous because my dad has that stereotypical tard rage symptom whenever something doesn't go his way. Like I said I had no social life and taking care of my brother was also nerve racking.
>How are you doing these days?
Depressed and miserable and as if my life has been stolen from me. I have no friends or job or career and im broke as shit. At this point I feel like I'm just waiting to die.

>>84975926
sounds like my family except it was from birth for 1 sadistic autist + 1 sadistic bpdwhore with both of their entire bpdwhore families. worst part is always trying to express it to anyone else and they get hostile with you as a literal child for not shutting up and doing more while saying they cant help until youre 18, then at 18 switching to saying they cant help now that you are and why are you still so ungrateful etc. on the plus side it does make you certain you never want children and despise parasitic weakness and clinginess.

i saw three different women ignoring their cumulative seven children openly crying and screaming earlier today at two different grocery stores. they ignored them to flirt loudly with strange men around them (one woman clearly had her childrens father right there on his phone as well) and openly comment on passersby for some reason, except when the children screamed so loud and started breaking things to get mommys attention that they started screaming back at them to shut up shut upshutupshutupshutUP and clearly openly intimidated them with an ever present backhand. then went straight back to flirting.

most interesting part of that was that for one woman with three children neither she nor baby daddy wore glasses but all three chillun sitting in the basket did.

we need more abortions, not less.

>>84976220
Cops won't do shit, I've watched them escort a rapist out of a house so family members couldn't get to him and when the girl didn't want to sit in court talking about how he raped her they dropped the case.
>>84976207
I think about it every fucking day anon but at least life is long and the world is small. It's rot or get revenge and why should we rot while they live on, probably raping more.

>>84976526
oh just saw your post. same life? my parents refused to cook at all at literally any point though except for my mother burning microwave meals and then smashing them at the wall if you pointed out they were burnt. literally all these people ever did was fight each other and leech off their child they clearly had for only this purpose, but because i kept it stabilized any talk about it was immediately handwaved away as being ungrateful with all their stress. stress from being unemployed in my fathers case.

mine died because he didnt treat his diabetes at all and my life immediately got 50x better. no one is ever going to help you and no one will ever make up for what your piece of shit family fucked up for you. ignore every piece of advice from normies and their moral standards just as they have ignored all requirements of the social contract to help you. are you duplicitous enough to earn money in any way you can and hide it from the tardfather? it will help to build and get away from him as quickly as possible. if he dies out of your care then he dies.

>>84976596
if he molested you, anon, he definitely molested others. you said he was a youth pastor? then he has an in-built social group and reputation to leverage or destroy and an immediate pool of historical and possibly current victims. likely even a literal list of them.

>>84976596
Glad you get it anon, it's fucked up because i look him up and he's still just doing his own thing at the church. I could probably take his out and dip and nobody would know since I live in another state. Think about just knocking on his door and putting a bullet in his head.

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When I was born probably. Got diagnosed with autism recently but this has been an issue all my life. There's an argument to be made for when I was 11 and got molested by a highschool girl. The memory is still fuzzy but not fun to try and remember.
15 is probably the best pick. Family decided to move and I hated it with a passion to the point is ruined the rest of my high school life. After that I tried going to uni, failed due to mental health, and have been neeting since. It's all too tiresome.

>>84976615
It definitely fucked me up how I was being gaslighted by my dad's side of the family the whole time.
A conversation with my uncle that I remember to this day about getting help to take care of my dad ended like this:
>Well anon, you have to understand your dad is trying his best to take care of you and your brother so you need to try hard too, living isn't easy.
"[Uncle's name], I literally cannot even get a job yet, I'm 15 and I dont know what I'm doing half the time. I need help watching my dad so I can study to pass my school."
>I'm sure things will work out, just bide your time.
That shit even when I was a teen and didn't fully understand why was infuriating because they recognized the whole situation was fucked but decided it was my problem to deal with.

I haven't even mentioned the shit I had to deal with my mother and how she would sporadically show up either pregnant with another kid or just out of jail and looking for a place to crash. Literally treated me like I was an afterthought but wanted to be seen as a good mother on social media and her friends. If it isn't obvious, she was a BPDemon like your mother was.
Also haven't mentioned the fact that the only thing I really got out of it all that was a positive was that I've learned to just never trust anybody when they say they're going to do something. Also rely on as little people as possible for anything because people lie like they breath and will pass the buck onto you if they think they can get away with it.
Also also, can't forget all the traumatic verbal and physical fights I had to get into with my dad because he was having a temper tantrum while his blood sugar was crashing.

As for why I'm living with him. I kind of got trapped by guilt tripping from my dad's friends because his mind is going. I can get a job if I try. But I've been depressed and drinking myself to sleep too much to do it.

>>84975380
when i was 19 i broke up with my first gf, and then shortly after was playing around making hats out of cardboard and got superglue into my hair. Holy shit dude, it caused serious damage and started thinning at 19. It was seriously downhill from there, and at 23 I'm still stuck in that rut, but thankfully I almost got my degree and am taking hims which do seem to be recovering my hair so we might be back

>>84976895
yeah i have never heard anything but that exact same script. talk about how they beat you, starve you, torture and scare you for their own amusement which they will openly brag about and try to get others to engage in too as communal bonding
>oh but you were probably a really annoying child that deserved it right. acting out, running around, bad grades?
if you point out you were as obedient as cinderella and consistently top of the class or whatever then you get nothing but
>well you need to cut them some slack, they have a lot of stress
>hm sounds like you have it under control and are just whiny and dramatic
or my favorite
>now we are somehow competing for either who has it worse OR i am angry at you for being too Nice and Perfect and think you need to be beaten more

people do not give a fuck about any problem that does not directly negatively affect them and if confronted with something that requires them to feel, much less act, will actively attack it until it goes away. the best you get is just what you said, vague sympathy to bide your time and hope for the best. i think people secretly actually enjoy this, which is only a secret to themselves. not to us.

i wont burden you with stories of my own father but consider them equivalent if not worse with the physical and neurodegeneration. nobody will help you. if your father has such concerned friends, they can step up in your place. they likely will not because they are manipulating and using you. get out while you can anon. his mind going is only going to make this more strategically difficult for you and spending more time taking care of him will further destroy your financial and tactical chances for getting out of there.

alternatively get yourself made his medical and financial power of attorney as soon as possible and make sure you are the primary if not only beneficiary of any will he may have, and make sure any changes he may make if you do leave are not considered legally binding.

>>84975380
I appreciate the opportunity to be here, and thank you for asking me the question. It started when I was a little boy in Bulgaria.

>>84975926
>>84976526
>>84976895
I feel like having a kid for the sole purpose of then taking care of you should be a criminally punishable offense. Literal child slavery.

>>84975380
9th grade. I got kicked out of a high school you needed to take tests to place into.

>>84975380
middle school. my friend group decided one day that i was ugly and cramping their style and discarded me like trash. never really recovered from this setback. i had short-lived relationships after this. only ever got to first base with a girl. i'm going to keep living to spite those of you who think my life has no value.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqg7Ow4SNk8

>>84976526
Sorry I was busy cooking dinner and stuff. Wow that is gut wrenching. No child should have to play parent. I am so sorry you had to go through with that. Thank you for telling me that information. I hope I didnt bring up anything to make you too upset or uncomfortable. Sorry again you had to go through all that anon. I hope things get better for you.

>>84975380
Age 11, my first day of 6th grade in middle school. I was sociable enough in elementary school but this middle school threw me for a loop because it had a lot of people from other schools that I didn't know and my best friend had just moved away. I realized I was a loser when I had no friends to sit with at lunch. Things got a little better as the year progressed but the quiet loner mentality stuck with me until I went to college.

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>>84975380
It was honestly a rollercoaster of it going from bad to worse to bad to ok to worse again. Honestly? At birth. My so called dad stabbed my mom over an argument about finances and that induced her labor. she had twins. I was born two months earlier than expected and my twin sister didnt make it. He went to prison soon after but only got two years I think. He went on to be a child molester and do other terrible things being in and out of jail for years until he finally made a family of his own likely molested those kids too. Mom told she was afraid I was going to end up like him but luckily I didnt. Also great to know that I have autism/adhd making everything difficult for me. Me being the baby/favorite of the family of five other sisters made me an easy target for bullying since I could do no wrong and get away with everything. I went to school with them and they bullied me there too and I couldnt really do anything about it and mom can only yell at them so many times. I mostly kept to myself and read my books/played video games. They would come in and hide my books or make fun of me for reading or playing my games calling me a pathetic loser. The family sure knew how to make me feel small and insecure. School didnt help much as I was stunted from trying to make friends because my sisters would scare them away or tell lies about me. Once I hit my growth spurt around I think 13 I towered above everyone and the bullying slowed but the damage was already done and I felt too small to still do anything because of what they did to me. Some time in high school I kind of gave up trying to make friends and getting a girlfriend was already difficult as I was already too shy and felt intimidated by most girls because of my sisters and stuff. That was years ago and I moved out soon after turning eighteen across the country. Nowadays they want to play fortnite with me or some other game. I keep them at arms length because mom doesnt want me to block them completely.

>>84975380
It all started going downhill after I read your post just now, thanks a lot.

I want to say from birth but realistically probably at 11. Lost contact with a girl that went from church because my family moved a lot at that point, and I was too young to think about girls long term.

Then again, not even sure if I would have done anything because I'm a beta loser, so 'from birth' is a better answer.

>>84975472
Did you get 'You're so cute' from girls in high school? Like a pet chihuahua or something
Reality is so shit, man. Sorry you were dealt this hand.

>>84975380
There hasn't been just one moment.
The first was when I was 4 and one of my parents almost died, and was left disabled. For a very long time I never thought about it affecting me, but it did.
Then when I was 19 and started failing classes in college because I drinking way too much.
Then when I was 23 and couldn't get a job, so I started working at a place that killed my soul
Then at 29 when I lost that job and my sanity and have been unemployed ever since.

>>84975380
i should've dropped out after middle school and fled that shithole i was living in

>>84977553
Hey holding a job for 6 years puts you ahead of me bro.

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11 years old in 5th grade. I finally realized that I wasn't as smart as I thought I was and fell into depression. Parents were fighting a lot too and I realized that it wasn't normal for them to fight as much as they did and that my dad broke things. Hit puberty with my peers but had to deal with still being short and getting bullied.

Can say things are relatively better now 30 years later. At least I have a job and some friends. Not a grand life, but it's a stable life. Would be nice to have a gf though.