hi these r just my thoughts for todaymy mother made me two small scrapbooks as a gift for my birthday and both of them are filled with pictures of me and my siblings childhoodsi do not remember much of anything growing upmy mom said i was attached to this whale stuffed animal and that for years i would carry it around and sleep w it every nightaround 15 yrs old i became v sick and the scrapbook ends bc there arent many photos of myself past that agegoing from my baby photos all the way up to where i lost myself always fucks with me so badbefore ana i had obvious issues but i could still see some life in my eyes but even that is cope bc my father couldnt keep his hands to himself so i nvr really had a chancejust a few more notes i made abt the scrapbook is that anytime there is a photo of me and my father i am always in his lapmy grandma was always addicted to tanning and was always super tanned which i nvr understoodmy sister looks so cute and wore dresses and skirts during her female socialization when growing upi cant express enough the things i would do to go back so i could experience what she was able toit is beyond soul crushing and i wish i could be heri look thru them when i am upset so i can self harm without having to bleed
>>84977588You should rape your sister. Seriously, you should be inside her and absorb her inside out.
>>84977597i am glad my dad touched me instead of her so she could live a beautiful lifeshe found a nice man to marry and she is happy and i love talking to her when i get the chancei feel guilty that i wish i could be here but rly i just wish i were a girl and could have been socialized in the same waymy dad raped me and i worry it is why i am a trannyi can nvr been pure and i will always be a whore bc of my dadi am spiraling it would be best if u told me to kms and shut up
>>84977588I understand how you feel.I don't have any memories from before 12 years of age and even afterward they're fuzzy. I look at the few photos I have from when I was that young and I can't recall any part of it. It's like I'm looking at someone else's past. All I can remember is how stressful and scary and awful things were for most of my youth. I don't remember ever feeling loved or appreciated. My parents were always neglectful and poor, my mother was a drug addicted whore who left when I was 12 and my father was an alcoholic cuck who abandoned me on my 15th birthday. I can only really remember things from after I was on my own, as if my old self finally died from the stress and sadness and was replaced by someone new.
