Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual supporthello heloo >How are you doing today?>Any plans for today?>When was the last time you hurt yourself?>Why did you hurt yourself?>Is there anything bothering you right now?
links :33> long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7> first aid post cuting:https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/> wound care guide:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic>a bpd workbook:https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read> bpd Information Book (anon said it's exceptionally good)https://annas-archive.org/md5/1a4f329474320214a120a4d553c6b60c> bdbt (dialectical behavioral therapy)workbook is intended for BPD but can work for anyone:https://cursosdepsicologia.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/THEDIA1.pdfPlease don't post any drastic images and if you have to, spoiler them
>>85019760hellocute pic!!>waiting for my noodles to get readywhat sorts of noodles did ya get?>was visiting someone (i wasn't alone visiting)did you enjoy ur time there?>3 cool things!B3>what do the pants look like?they're the classic dark green cargo pants ^^I found out I like cargo pants a lot>common interest in a specific type of graphics :>oo reallyy?have you played that game or anything similar?>skipped itit's okay it's not a problem i can take the questions later phew>there is another one on thursdayD:>need to fix my sleep scheduseems to be a common thing around here hehe ^^hope you manage to do that when do you wake up and go to sleep now ?
>>85019768heya>just a regular dayand at least it wasn't hot asf>yes! and i'd do it again! >:[D;>how does that work?I cleaned the brake surface and sandpapered it to make it less smoorh and also sandpapered the brake pads It's okkayy ish now>what's the difference?you sure you want spoilers?>have, but i don't recall much abouthmm maybe we should watch it?>people had some opinions about that.I remember the actor had them too>good night.hope you slept well
Crazy stuff today, I'm tired>>85025628>How are you doing today?up to interpretation>Any plans for today?So something kind of big happened I had a GP appointment about ADHD meds (haven't taken in a long time and I'm eating shit irl atm) when my doctor once again says that I am at a turning point in my life and that's it's normal to be unmotivated and everyone's like this blablaShe then started saying that ADHD might not even be the culprit and I should try going at it long term without meds and it might even be something else like depression.At first I was chill but she started talking about her experience and how she had a horrible childhood and that she learned to deal with it not knowing she had it etcI was shaky the whole time because I've been masking since my early teens and then I just admitted to it idk why idk why maybe because I hadn't slept in 36h when I got thereShe instantly prescribed me 50mg trazodone and I already took one 45mins ago and right now I'm already getting tired maybe placebo idk but it's stressing me out I don't know what to expect I will regret this tomorow so hard there's no going back>When was the last time you hurt yourself?>Why did you hurt yourselfYesterday in anticipation of today...>Is there anything bothering you right now?I wonder....my body feels heavy
>>85025628I did it again. It feels good. Please distract me. Just tell me something so I can think about something else.
>>85026221ive been reading lately about the plymouth colony and got in a bit of a rabbithole about the pilgrims and puritansmaybe thats of intrest to you? you can find many interesting things on wikipedia to distract yourself with
>>85025628hey catbro! thanks for the new thread. day's been quite ordinary, but that's probably for the better. i think i'll spend the evening browsing steam. going to buy lords of the fallen and nophenia, but maybe something else will catch my eye. how was your day?>>85025655>I found out I like cargo pants a lotyou're one of the few people i can see actually using all those extra pockets.>>85025694>and at least it wasn't hot asftoday it wasn't either, but at work that doesn't help much. air just isn't moving at all in their.>sandpapered it to make it less smoorh and also sandpapered the brake padsugh... i can imagine the sound of it and it makes my skin crawl. sanding certain things is my nails on a chalkboard.>you sure you want spoilers?spoiler ahead. i don't mind.>hmm maybe we should watch it?maybe. didn't really like where the movie was going at the end, but that also was a long time ago.>>85025983hello anon!>I was shaky the whole time because I've been masking since my early teens and then I just admitted to it idk whyhm. maybe it's not the worst thing you have someone to talk about this side of you. hope she can keep it on a professional and confidential level, though.>maybe because I hadn't slept in 36h when I got theremakes sense. sleep deprivation is a common tactic in interrogations, isn't it?>I'm already getting tired maybe placebo idk but it's stressing me outyou had an incredibly stressful day. no wonder your tired, meds or not. just take it easy today.>I will regret this tomorow so hard there's no going backgood luck, fren. o7 we're here if you need us.>>85026221hey anon! what about watching or reading something for a change? anything that's been on your list for a while?>>85026351hi sis!>a rabbithole about the pilgrims and puritanswhat did you find out?
>>85026351Those seem like some quite complicated topics. Could you give me an introduction? I'm super drunk rn and english isnt my nativ language, so I would be grateful if you could use easy language if that's possible.
>>85026434>hey anon! what about watching or reading something for a change? anything that's been on your list for a while?I'm really looking forward to cyberpunk edgerunnes 2. "You cant run frome me" goes so fuckin hard.
>>85026474first one was a really good show, but i guess we shouldn't get too attached to the characters. ^^'>You cant run frome me" goes so fuckin hard.i'll check it out
>>85025628>>How are you doing today?Low on energy in general. Still job hunting. Took a 3 hour test for one the other day, I don't think i did well.I have a job fair this week, maybe something there.>>Any plans for today?Just laying down and wondering where it all went wrong.>>Is there anything bothering you right now?I have to submit my log book of 56 applications sent last month. I don't look forward to explaining the lack of progress.>>85026434hi yu>i think i'll spend the evening browsing steam.I thought about that, but I didn't really see anything I wanted on sale. So i just kept playing hades.>>85025655hi cat,you might like this story.my cat's been killing garden snakes and worm snakes and bringing them inside to play with. I don't know what to do about it, but thought it was odd enough to share.
>>85026497>i'll check it outPlease do! It's the main reason I'm so hyped for the next season. IVE BURNT MYSELF SO MAY TIMES
>>85026601*manyFuckin alcohol...
>>85026474>"You cant run frome me" goes so fuckin hard.good song. i think it's one of those that's going to grow on me.>>85026521hi cynic! (^-^)>Low on energy in general. Still job hunting.man, must take a lot out of you. proud of you for putting yourself out there.>Took a 3 hour test for one the other day, I don't think i did well.when will you get the result?>I have a job fair this week, maybe something there.maybe that's your best bet. a lot of job postings are fake anyway, but i don't think they'd do that at a job fair.>I don't look forward to explaining the lack of progress.sounds dreadful.>I didn't really see anything I wanted on sale. So i just kept playing hades.i just ended up getting the games i mentioned. not much else catching my eye. maybe project zomboid, but i think i'll get that next sale.>>85026601>I'm so hyped for the next season.i'm a bit more careful when it comes to hype (been burned quite a few times when it comes to second seasons lately), but cautiously optimistic. hope it'll turn out as good you want it to be. :]
jesus christ its been a while. suprised this is still running i just opened 4chan for the first time in months.i got into autistic burnout and quit my job, have been unemployed for about 4 months but i have my savings. found out i have ADD too so thats great. been sober off drugs for 2 months or something longest ive been since 15. but the cravings are so intense and a lot of feelings ive been putting off for years i feel again now but with debt. might relapse soon i havent been in a good mental state. so yeah i really gotta get a job my family is also hammering into it a lot even threatened to kick me out.im very close now with my friends we go to a lot of extreme metal concerts and generally hang every weekend grab beers. also i got a girlfriend sort of for the first time in my life, but its weird because i am 19 and she is 34. (lol) been talking every day and she really wants to meet up with me, idk if im quite ready for that desu. its all very confusing, i feel things that i havent before and it caught me off gaurd i never ment to get so attached. as for my absance,.. idk why i left. i guess i just started visting 4chan less and less, then only to post, then i didnt even have the motivation for that anymore.i still dont cut myself or burn myself anymore. i dont know if im in a better place now then i was. everythings still anoyingly difficult. and i strugle a lot with procrastination. but i suppose thats life. i do think i have mentally matured a bit, i always was very childish and emtional on here if i remember correctly, but my memory is kinda shitty. funny that by chance i saw this thread again tonight, i certainly dont have the consistency to post every day. im probably going to sleep soon
>>85025983hello o/>up to interpretationhmm interesting >She instantly prescribed me 50mg trazodonwhat is this supposed to help with?>already getting tired maybe placeboor maybe not sleeping for a long time?>Yesterday in anticipation of today...sounds like it stressed you out >body feels heavyhow late is it over there? maybe sleep time>>85026221hey anonwhat sort of things do you enjoy doing or what do you wish you could do? like a hobby>>85026434eyoo>thanks for the new thread. oh no problem :3>evening browsing steam. going to buy lords of the fallen and nophenia,hope you find some gems >how was your day?I went on a little bike ride and that's sorta it>can see actually using all those extra pockets.haha what do you think I stash in those>air just isn't moving at all in their.maybe you could bring your own fan? grr >:c>can imagine the soundit's just a standard shh shh shh so nothing badbut I ey what you mean like the sound of silverware on a plate make me feel awful >spoiler aheadokay is in the original ending he sacrifices himself to save some people and a cure for zombie virus and in the extra ending he makes peace with the zombies by returning to the big bad zombie his (the zombie's) wife that he experimented on to make a cure >maybeit's also not a movie I'm very interested is but who knows I wasn't feeling good about trainspotting ar first but then I realized liked it
>>85026521helloo>Low on energycant balme ya>Took a 3 hour testwhat the hell that's so long they should be paying you to take it>wondering where it all went wrong.I don't feel it's your fault >have to submit my log bookto who?>my cat's been killing garden snakes and worm snakeswoa what a brave defender of your kingdom! he's your strongest soldier >don't know what to do about it,hm what if you let him out less?>>85026820:o is that the image you were looking for some time ago?>>85026968yoo hey sludge! o/gonna read it all in a secy
fuck tried cut on hip for the first time BUT KNIFE WAS DULL AND NOW ITS JUST LUKEWARM SCRATCH IT DIDNT EVEN BLEED
>>85026968>jesus christ its been a whilefucking hell, you can say that out loud. just glad to see you, dude.>quit my job, have been unemployed for about 4 monthsdamn. was it that bad?>i have my savingsat least there's that. hope you won't need to use a lot of it.>found out i have ADD too so thats great.how did you get the diagnosis?>been sober off drugs for 2 months or something longest ive been since 15good job. i know it's a struggle for you.>a lot of feelings ive been putting off for years i feel again nowlike what?>might relapse soon i havent been in a good mental state.hope not, but maybe you can stay on the lighter side or take a bit less than you used to.>my family is also hammering into it a lot even threatened to kick me out.tell them to get some new material. :p>we go to a lot of extreme metal concerts and generally hang every weekend grab beers.sounds awesome. :] what bands have you been listening to lately?>i got a girlfriend sort of for the first time in my life, but its weird because i am 19 and she is 34.not sure if that's better than the drugs... just kidding. as long as it gives you something and both of you know what kind of relationship it is and where it's going, it's probably ok. just take it slow>idk why i left.that's just life. had a hard time posting for some time as well. you've always got a place here, though.>i still dont cut myself or burn myself anymore.let's gooo! \o/>i suppose thats life.word. where'd be the fun in everything going smoothly, right?>i always was very childish and emtional on here if i remember correctlyyeah, maybe you were, but that's kinda what the thread is for. getting it all out. you wanna know what you've also been? a friend>funny that by chance i saw this thread again tonight, i certainly dont have the consistency to post every day.that's fine. just don't be a stranger for so long again.
>>85026968it's lovely to see ya :D>suprised this is still runningit'll probably stop only when I die or lose Internet access >autistic burnoutthat sucked but does that mean you enjoyed your job before that?>have ADD too so thats greatwelp at least now you know >sober off drugs for 2 monthgood dang work! \o/>cravings are so intensewell there's nothing else you can really do other thay waiting out until they get weaker>even threatened to kick me out.whaat?do you think they're playing? I mean if they haven't kicked you out yet, how probable it is they will actually do it now >very close now with my friendsthat's very nice ^^ >because i am 19 and she is 34and yes haven't met irl yet?I'm wishing you the best but to be honest I'm not sure if this will last >as for my absance,.. idk why i left.you've had a lot of overwhelming crap to deal with, it's okay>dont cut myself or burn myself anymoregood job, really glad to hear that ^^ in a part of your arm, where you have that big scar, still numb?>dont know if im in a better place nowI think you are, tho it's probably just as tiring as when you weren't so that why it doesn't feel like you are >certainly dont have the consistency to post every day.it's alright, life's busy but it's nice to see you when you do post >probably going to sleep soonsleep well!
>>85027246hey anonmaybe just let it be and do something else instead, loke put on a movie and chill for a bitWhy did you cut?
>>85026982>hope you find some gemsnot much that caught my eye. just project zomboid. that's something for the next sale, though.>I went on a little bike ride and that's sorta iti need to get out more, too. really not getting enough sun lately. havent been out over the weekends, either. :/ did you see anything cool?>what do you think I stash in thosewhatever you need to fix your bike and a big bag of popcorn. :p>maybe you could bring your own fan? grr >:ci should. the one we have is complete ass and falling apart.>so nothing badi know, but my brain absolutely can't stand it. nothing i can do about it.>like the sound of silverware on a plate make me feel awfulexactly like that.>in the extra ending he makes peace with the zombies by returning to the big bad zombie his (the zombie's) wife that he experimented on to make a cureah, ok. don't think i've seen that ending before. don't have a strong feeling about it. which one do you prefer?>it's also not a movie I'm very interested is but who knowsalright. might rewatch it over the weekend. need to call it a day soon. need to get up early for work.>>85027008>:o is that the image you were looking for some time ago?yup. with all the new cyberpunk anime coming out, i'll get quite some use out of that one. ^^>>85027246at least you also didn't do more harm than you intended to.
>>85025628first time poster but i'm doing well. i used to cut years ago as a means of dealing with panic attacks. every now and again i do get the temptation but i just remind myself it's not worth it. i would do anything to take it back. I've gotten into weight lifting as an alternative which is nice, however, it's a little depressing knowing i can't ever show it off. One thing that does concern me is if i ever get a girlfriend, how much of a turn off will it be when she finds out? will it be enough to dump me over? i don't know if anyone has any experience on that one. regardless i wish everyone here well.
>>85027438>project zomboid.good game>been out over the weekends, eithermaybe because you too often make it about exercising and you just just focus on hanging out every once in a while >did you see anything cool?yep a hare and a kitty>need to fix your bike and a big bag of popcorn. :phaha ^^ >i shouldor tell your boss about it?tho we both know it won't change a thing >absolutely can't stand it. nothing i can do about it.it's okay I know of people who get sick and nauseous if they hear or touch styrofoam >one do you prefer?both I remember hearing about the alternative ending as a kid and thinking it was the coolest thing ever but I also thought zombies should be killed>need to get up early for work.:c >yup. where did ya find it?>>85027623hello anon>used to cut years agogood job not doing ir anymore!!^^>can't ever show it offwhy?how much can you lift?>will it be enough to dump me over?I don't know anon, never seen any women discuss it maybe they don't even consider that a possibility >wish everyone here well.thank you same to you
yea it's random but I was thinking about the roman empire and that it's cool how they would sometimes get auxiliary units from other parts of the world so like they'd have a war in north africa and they'd get extra soldiers from germany and syria who'd be wearing different types of clothes and speak different languages but still they'd be a part of one armyI don't think you see a lot of that in the media I think only the lord of the rings movies had an element like that anyways I'm getting sleepy and my brain is going places @-@
>>85027623welcome to the thread, anon.>i used to cut years ago as a means of dealing with panic attacks.good to hear you don't need to anymore.>I've gotten into weight lifting as an alternative which is niceit's a good one. i'm more into alternative workouts, but officeanon is also big on the lifting. keep it up! (*^*)9>however, it's a little depressing knowing i can't ever show it off.in the end it's up to you. if you're not comfortable with it, don't, but i think many people would be more understanding than you think. depends a lot on the attitude in your gym, i suppose.>if i ever get a girlfriend, how much of a turn off will it be when she finds out?also depends. some might like it, some might not. can't really say in advance, but probably should be open about it to some extent. hard to tell, though.>regardless i wish everyone here well.thanks, buddy. i'll be off, but hope to see you around. >>85027758>maybe because you too often make it about exercisingonly other thing i'd do outside is go for a walk. there's no place here i'd go to to just hang out.>a hare and a kittysounds like the beginning of a fable.>we both know it won't change a thingdefinitely won't.>get sick and nauseouscan relate. :[>bothbest place to be, but rare.>I also thought zombies should be killedonly good undead is a redead undead.>where did ya find it?there was a diy-thread on /a/ and some anon posted it. just got lucky. going to sleep now. good night, everyone!
>>85026820>when will you get the result?idk, maybe never.>a lot of job postings are fake anywayunfortunately. and it's not getting better. >i just ended up getting the games i mentioned.I keep looking at scp fragmented minds and god of war ragnorak. that's about it. Maybe The Binding of Isaac since i really liked hades.I just don't think i should spent that much rn.>>85027008>he's your strongest soldier he basically looks like your pic there.>hm what if you let him out less?He's not really mine. more of my brother's. so not my call. we just cut him off at night. >>85027008>what the hell that's so long they should be paying you to take itprobably. but it was over zoom and run by the government, so they took forever just on set up.>to who?a program trying to get me employed.
>>85027758thank you. i don't feel like i could show it off because it would be a mood killer, understandably i think people would be weirded out by it, also it lets them know of this deep fragility i once had. I just use 10kg dumbbells which isn't much but some exercises i can do 20-30 reps a set. Still sometimes throw in callisthenics in there which i would recommend as a good starting point if ever you're interested.>>85027823thank you for the encouragement. yeah, it's one of those things you should probably be open about with girls. If i had to put a positive spin on it i would say it pushes out stuff like hookups, leaving the more serious stuff on the table. good night!
>>85025983hello anonwhat a weird interaction to have...>>85026434hello yuanonnothing really it was just cool to read, im going to read about the first thanksgiving, i didnt know it had relations to the plymouth colony or anything>>85026457i mean, you can see it like i did, as a simple story to read but a bit more in depthsorry i was away and couldnt replyits just a story with a bit of background as to why the pilgrims and puritans wanted to flee england (religious persecution) and what mishaps they had with their ships (mayflower & speedwell, which the speedwell ended up being unseaworthy causing massive delays) and then a bit of the story of what they did when they arrived to the new world and how thankfully they didnt end up like the jamestown colony and uhhhhhhhh i cant really remember rn loli wish i were drunk but no alchohol with a good taste, what i have available makes me hate myself for torturing my tongue w/ it (reason i have yet to drink it)i hope ive used easy enough language and that youre doing fine :D>>85026521heya cynicjob hunting sucks doesnt it>>85026968>also i got a girlfriend sort of for the first time in my lifegood job!>but its weird because i am 19 and she is 34. (lol)ohoh well, older women are good too
>>85027623good job frenim not sure about the girls part, very dependant on the person and varies wildlyi was already cutting for about a year iirc when my (now) girlfriend went through a breakup and was shit and told the friend group that she had gotten into cutting for a bit, unfortunately she still does today sometimes but not frequentlywhen she was going through that i just reached out to her and was like "hey i cut too, not worth it" didnt stop her from falling in love with me like 5 months later or somethingshe probably didnt mind because she went through it too but even if she hadnt i dont think she would have cared muchagain heavily dependant on the person>>85027975>would say it pushes out stuff like hookups, leaving the more serious stuff on the tabledefinitely doesif you dont mind me asking have you thought of how youd handle the situation?like having to "talk" about them?my scars are small enough and hardly noticeable even by me who knows exactly where they are so i havent really thought about this sort of thing
bump and gnfucked up my sleep schedule really bad, sun is going to rise shortly
i feel such a strange yet strong sense of emptiness but also dread, just that i need to be gone from the world. I've stopped talking to people that i used to never stop talking too. i just feel all is lost at this point, the game is ultimately over for me at this moment. i'm scared yet calm. i really should get some sleep tho, i have a dentist tomorrow.
I'm leaving for university in a little over a month, and I plan to cut a lot once I leave; I've sorta been in forced recovery. I still have some new scarring, and I'm terrified my family will find it, but I think I've hidden it well enough. I'm mildly scared of what I'll do to myself, but I also don't feel as much need to cut anymore, so I'm not sure why I'm so deadset on doing it. I just don't want anyone in my family to find out.
disc : deathblow1217
Hello everyone, hope you're alright. Still waiting to hear back on whether or not I get to keep my job, which is a bit stressful, but I'll be alright I think.I've got a week of travel ahead of me which should be pretty fun. I'll share anything cool I find here.>>85025983Hello anon.I hope things pick up for you. Try to get some rest if you can.>>85026434Hello yuanon. "May you live in interesting times" is a curse for a reason.Did you get anything else in the steam sale? I feel like I've not got anything off there in a while.>>85026521Good luck on the job hunt!Try not to take it too personally because the job market is atrocious.>>85026968Hello sludge. I think I started posting here shortly after you stopped. Glad to hear about your sobriety, though. Best of luck with staying on the wagon!>>85027623>will it be enough to dump me over?If it's enough for her to dump you over, she probably wasn't the one for you. At least that's how I see it.
>>85027623Self harm is a lot more common than people think, especially among women. Chances are, she either used to cut, a friend or family member used to deal with it, or she has come across it somehow in other places. She likely has more sympathy for it than you think, and I doubt it would be much of a turn-off, especially if the physical scarring isn't too extensive.
woke upbuump
>>85027305> just glad to see you, dudelikewise, its just that ive realised i only really visit this site when im allready in a bad mood. because to be honest this website is a crab bucket>>85027305>damn. was it that bad?would it be for you?, probably not. was it for me? yeahim very autistic keep in mind, or rather audhd. i did demolition and construction for someone with autism is one of the most disregulating things ive ever done in my life. every day different people, all rude most dumb and unhygenic. everything i did was wrong because i do it in a different way because i think differently. every day different job sites across the country. different times different work every day. also the schedual was always fucked.not to mention, work for me is 2 jobs. 1 is the work the other job is the social games everyone plays and i dont understand. its a lot of concious effort just to seem normal for me. ive come to terms with the fact that i am indeed not at full capacity like neurotypicals are. not to say any of this is an excuse, i am quite lazy. but its also an explanation>>85027305>hope you won't need to use a lot of it.im pretty frugal, the most of my expenses are beer and concert tickets lol>>85027305>how did you get the diagnosis?my father told me the docter that diag me with autism also said i have adhd or add or whatever to him, i never knew about that so i decided why not get it on paper. another pokemon for the collection. >>85027305>i know its a struggle for youto be quite frank its the hardest thing ive ever done in my life. its the hardest thing i need to do every day. when u get clean everyone kinda just thinks its over now, but i still think about it all day every day. doesnt matter if my day was good or bad.
>>85030929damn i fucked that up its been a while since i used this website bear with me lo>>85027305>like what? the drugs made me very numb to everything that has happened, i didnt feel a lot. now i have to pay tax. deppresion anxiety etc etc, im not very good at describing emotions. i was very drunk one time and i kinda spilled my guts to 2 of my friends>hope not, but maybe you can stay on the lighter side or take a bit less than you used to.its not that im not trying but theres a reason why addiction is such a problem i would try to describe you the feeling but words dont really do it justice. its this feeling, this urge that just builds and builds. it feels like a balloon blowing up but it never pops. it doesnt really go away and your brain tries to justify it, it makes excuses it says why not just 1 time, fuck it. again hardest thing ive ever done in my life.> what bands have you been listening to lately?metal metal metali loveeeeeee dying fetus ive seen them live 7 times other then that lately ive just been lisening to my death metal and sludge metal playlists. i love buzzoven and eyehategod also been lisening to some children of bodem because its the favorite band of a friend of mine that plays drums, im normally not much of a melodic guy but theyre pretty greatim even wearing an eyehategod shirt now, me and my friend where gonna see them live but his phone broke like an hour before we needed to drive so we missed them but ive already seen them once. still little bit salty but in the time ive been away ive probably seen anywhere between 15-30 bands or so live if u include supports. >not sure if that's better than the drugsyes im not naive, i know this is a kinda probamatic dynamic, and it is most likely not healthywhat can i say though validation is a hell of a drugs, especially if u never had it before. >you've always got a place here,and i certainly apreciate it especially when im THAT inconsistent lol>let's gooo! \o/!!
>>85030973>>85027305god this is a long post>yeah, maybe you were, but that's kinda what the thread is for. getting it all out. you wanna know what you've also been? a friendahhahh god i cringe hard when i think back to those moments lol>just don't be a stranger for so long again.ill try, but i dont make promises to noone these days. im a procrastination prodigy>>85027313>it's lovely to see ya :Dhey hey>it'll probably stop only when I dietruly a lifes work>enjoyed your job before that?oh hell nawhh it was everything that i hated all the sensory and social shit. also the people there for the most part wherent good people. im all for seeing the good in others but like they just insult to ur face, cheat on their wifes, drink and drive and are just very very unhygenic to name a few>good dang work! \o/its hard but usually in the day and morning its the eassiest but in the night and evening its pretty intense >waiting out until they get weakeryeah, i hope so because so far its only been building. kinda a pain in my ass>whaat?eh its not the first time, my mother already told me that eventually shes gonna sell the house and live with her boyfriend and then i need to have enough money to stay on my own >how probable it is they will actually do it nownot trying to find that out, also they are right im kinda an unemployed lazy chud i need to get a job. >I'm not sure if this will lastagain im aware this is problamatic but also again, validation is like beer to me because ive never had it. she wants to meet up, to be honest im kinda keeping a distance. dont get me wrong, i have pictures, comfirmation. but again its kinda....uknow>in a part of your arm, where you have that big scar, still numb?yep in definitely have nerve damage, also its completely hairless. i accept my scars, its a part of me now i dont want to get rid of them, but also i cover them up because people look at u weird uknow. except for concerts and festivals
>>85027313>>85031063>just as tiring as when you weren't so that why it doesn't feel like you areyeah i think its not per se better or worse, its just different now. maybe im different now also, guess thats natural>life's busy somehow its constantly busy but also very boring its bizzare. __i gotta get a job but i wouldnt know what i guess the previous one made very hesitant. i feel like im kinda not moving towards anything meaningful like my friends. one is a mechanic, the other wants to be a drum teacher and does school for that, other is in infra. and im just kinda a drifter. i do suppose that trying to remain sober is progress itself but others do not see that part. they just think ow u dont do it anymore its gone. >>85028673hello sis>oh well, older women are good tooeh i could never be with a girl my age they all expect you to be all these things im not. im autistic not rich not social and i dont do much so yeah. probably not sustainable, definitely not healthy. whatever, ill drink a glass of water when im dying of dehydration>>85029180>fucked up my sleep schedule really bad, sun is going to rise shortlyi feel you man i had it locked down for a while but i kinda fucked it. also im very addicted to caffeine >>85030269> I think I started posting here shortly after you stopped.could be, nice to meet you>. Glad to hear about your sobriety, though. Best of luck with staying on the wagon!being sober suck lol, but alas i liked drugs a bit too much so now i cant have them anymore____i play a lot of overwatch because im autistic lol. im now in the rank thats 3.2% of the playerbase. im trying to hit the rank thats 00.3% also theres another heat wave incoming here in NL. summer sucks, too warm too many bugs. doesnt help that i wear longsleeves and pants all the time but still, god didnt intend it to be over 25 degrees everything above that can buzz off
i think its cringe for adult people(after 25 years) to do self harm
Feelin like shit again! :D but aye, at least I got a job now and I can go back to drinking :pHope everyone is havin a nice day
the heat makes me wanna SFDSKJFHEWit just makes me mad asf i barely hold myself how can anyone laugh under this heatreplying later guys
the cat in picrel looks happy in a lovely weather>>85019807 >just very tired right now. it's late.hope you slept well!>finally worked out a little againoh that's nicedid you work out yesterday too?>i'll try to fix minegood luck!>>85025655>cute pic!cute pic 2>what sorts of noodles did ya getmaybe that's funny but i don't name them by sorts so idk what you meanmaybe you meant the flavour?>did you enjoy ur time there?yep>they're the classic dark green cargo pants>I found out I like cargo pants a lotdude they're cooli bought one too recently>it's okay it's not a problem you can take the questions lateryup yup>seems to be a common thing around here~_~it's so difficult man>when do you wake up and go to sleep nowi have to wake up at like 7-8 AM sometimesand i almost always end up sleeping at like at least 4 AM
bunp :3
bamp the thread
bamp the thread again
>>85033842how's your day going bamper?
>>85028687thank you for the anecdote, it's interesting to know people's experiences with this stuff. with regards as to how i'd tell them? i don't know. i feel like right before sex would be the worst time to spring it, i guess it would depend however fast physical intimacy developed in order to preface it. It may sound silly because you never know how things go but i feel that if i develop into a more competent/cultivated person then the reveal won't be as much of a turn off as opposed to if i was still the same cause for concern. I'd say it was a mistake and i've learnt from it, she doesn't need to concern herself about it.
>>85027954>idk, maybe never.that would suck. can't improve if you don't know what went wrong. :/>it's not getting better.never quite got what the point of it is, but here we are. just a shitty practice all around.>scp fragmented mindslooks cool and i like the scp stuff. i'll put it on my wishlist.>The Binding of Isaac since i really liked hades.it's very different when it comes to gameplay, but when you get into it, it's an awesome game and it'll keep you busy for a long time.>i should spent that much rn.if bang for your buck is a concern, definitely isaac. there's a huge amount of content in that game.>>85027975>it i would say it pushes out stuff like hookupsyou never know. some people just are attracted to it. it's a strange world out there. might not be the people you want to be around, though.>>85028673>it was just cool to readsome evenings that's all you need to keep yourself busy until it's finally time for bed.>i didnt know it had relations to the plymouth colony or anythinggotta be thankful for not starving to death.>>85030108>I've stopped talking to people that i used to never stop talking too.that's a shame, but it's never too late to try to reconnect. no need to force yourself of course, but still something to keep in mind.>i just feel all is lost at this point, the game is ultimately over for me at this moment.it's never over as long as you're here. you can always get up, dust yourself off and keep going.>i have a dentist tomorrow.hope it's not too bad. i need to make an appointment, too. :/>>85030194>I also don't feel as much need to cut anymore, so I'm not sure why I'm so deadset on doing it.no real reason to do the one or the other, but maybe try staying away from it for a while and see how you like it? >I just don't want anyone in my family to find out.you'd be surprised how oblivious people can be.
hey frens>>85027954>basically looks like your pic there.hehe ^^ you better give him some good pets for being so nice>just cut him off at night.gooddon't want that fella getting lost>was over zoomthat doesn't make things better at least it's over now>program trying to get me employedooh I wonder if there are any of those in my countryBtw how was your day today?>>85027975hey anon>could show it off because it would be a mood killer,I guess >just use 10kg dumbbells which isn't muchI'd say that's a good amount of weight I can't barely barely lift that much with one arm>good starting point if ever you're interested.maybe one dayI do pushups for now ^^>>85030108hello>but also dreadcan you pinpoint what's the cause of it?>have a dentist tomorrowbest ot luck!>>85030194hey>leaving for universityscary :0do you think you'll enjoy it there?>why I'm so deadset on doing it.maybe you feel like you should make up for "lost time", ya know, for all the times you wanted to cut but couldn't But hopefully once you're there you decide to not go crazyAfter all, even if you don't wanna stop cutting, the less you cut now the more space you have for potential cuts in the future when you might need the relief more >>85030269heyaa>waiting to hear backD:>bit stressful, but I'll be alrdoes sound stressful but at this point there nothing you can dojust wait, so tru to not work while you're at it>week of travel:o
grr waiting for my package and it's not coming grr even tho the guy who sent it lives 20km away>>85031063hey again ^^>truly a lifes workI just don't have anyone else to talk to and also I don't wanna talk to anyone else >insult to ur face, cheat on their wifes, drink and driveyep don't sound very fun to be around >but in the night and evening its pretty intensedo you think sleeping early could help you skip the worst parts?>so far its only been buildingthat's how it always goes but it's stop at some point >not the first timeprobably not the last too >unemployed lazy chudsame lol I dropped out of uni>but again its kinda....uknowwell I can't predict the future so for all I know it might to well and I'm wishing you that >definitely have nerve damage,at least it healed without any complications >accept my scars,that's great! definitely way better than disliking them since there really isn't a way to get rid of them completely >>85031121>maybe im different now also, guess thats naturalmaybe though I feel if things went wrong the way down to the bottom is way longer thn it used to be like a year or two ago>busy but also very boring its bizzare.at least you got friends and concerts >and im just kinda a driftersame same I got no ideabut I also detest the whole concept of having a career>remain sober is progressit is! every day is a step forward though I guess why it might feel unimportant when the people around you don't care but it is >>85034806hey yuanon waddup?
>>85030269>>85030269>whether or not I get to keep my jobfingers crossed.>I'll share anything cool I find here.looking forward to it. :> where are you headed?>is a curse for a reason.yeah, but the true curse is being able to see the interesting shit coming from a mile away and not being able to do anything about it.>Did you get anything else in the steam sale?nope. just lords of the fallen in case i feel like playing a soulslike and the game catbro recommended. right now i'm playing gloomwood.>I feel like I've not got anything off there in a while.what kind of game would you be interested in?>>85030929>to be honest this website is a crab bucketyou're not wrong. that why i don't engange with anyone outside this thread, i guess.>would it be for you?, probably not. was it for me? yeahwas at work for 11 hours today. i'm torn between being exhausted and wanting to strangle most people i interacted with today. can't say i'm enjoying what i do.>for someone with autism is one of the most disregulating thingssounds awful. i don't think i could do that job for long, either. at least i only have to deal with stupid customers. my coworkers are not so bad. guess that helps with not going insane.>its a lot of concious effort just to seem normal for me.never understood why people make that a requirement for doing a job, at least as long as the job gets done.>i am indeed not at full capacity like neurotypicals areme neither. i'm too occupied with the things i get wrong or mistakes i made that nobody else gives a shit about. i want to make things right while the easy way out is just to keep my mouth shut. it drives me crazy.>i am quite lazyyou just need more time to recover is all. as you said, it's mentally way more taxing for you as it is for others.
>>85031623I think people who do that have bigger issues than worrying about being cringe >>85031825hello ^^>Feelin like shit again! :sorry abt it :c>job now and why job?>can go back to drinking :pno!>>85032348hellu!drink lots of wata!>>85032534>>85032534>happy in a lovely weather:3>cute pic 2cute cute cute >maybe you meant the flavour?yep>bought one too recentlyoo really? they're green too?>yepthat nice what did u do?>so difficult manI get it>have to wake up at like 7-8 AM sometimesbecause school? xwx
>>85030929>beer and concert tickets lolthat's quite a lot of money already, especially the tickets. i sometimes hear what people pay for those and i don't think i'd be willing to pay those prices. then again, i'm paying those prices little plastic soldiers...>another pokemon for the collection.might come in handy at some point.>everyone kinda just thinks its over now, but i still think about it all day every day. doesnt matter if my day was good or badit gets easier the more often you decide against it in favor of something else. i think that's the only way the neural paths in your brain get weaker. easier said than done the more addictive something is of course.>>85030973>i was very drunk one time and i kinda spilled my guts to 2 of my friendshow did that go?>theres a reason why addiction is such a problemi know>again hardest thing ive ever done in my life.can't even begin to comprehend it.>ive probably seen anywhere between 15-30 bands or so live if u include supports.man, that's a lot of bands... :0 is it a lot of bands? really got no clue. i've never gone anywhere with the intention of experiencing a live performance. remember some of the ones you mentioned, but i haven't actually listened to them, yet. me and music...>i know this is a kinda probamatic dynamic, and it is most likely not healthyeh. president of france married his teacher, so what do i know.>>85031063>i cringe hard when i think back to those moments lolthat's ok. you'll come around in a decade or two.>i dont make promises to noone these daysnone needed. you just show up whenever you feel like it.>>85031825hey yvki! congrats on the job, but what got you down?
>>85032348hi rem. how are you today?>hope you slept well!sadly i didn't. had to get up early and that turned into a long day.>did you work out yesterday too?i did, but not today. i'll just treat lifting heavy packages at work as one...>>85034942>it's not coming grr even tho the guy who sent it lives 20km awaypostal services are retarded. in our store we also handle the post for the city hall, but when someone comes in with a letter for said city hall, we have to send it out, so it can be send back to us. it's the only way get money for processing it.>waddup?not much. arrived at work at 9:00 am and got home.at 8:00 pm. my brain is fried. bed looking mighty appealing right now. how was your day?
>>85035157>postal services are retardedI kinda get it because they're handing no just mu package but mannn if I had ordered it form 100km away it would've already been here>my brain is fried.why so long hours DD;> bed looking mighty appealing right now. howi say you should take some sleep early>how was your day?I wanted to go to a different mall but couldn't grr bcouse I had tondo something else but I found some time to chill I'm gonna go tomorrow
>>85034806>looks cool and i like the scp stuff. i'll put it on my wishlist.Yeah, it's sat there a while. I didn't get it this round. I just got rain world and scorn for 7 dollars total.>it's very different when it comes to gameplay, but when you get into it, it's an awesome game and it'll keep you busy for a long time.Yeah, maybe that'll be in my next haul. I think I just skipped it because I didn't know if i wanted to cry at people for a month.>>85034855>you better give him some good pets for being so nicehe gets too many as is.>Btw how was your day today?alright. I watched part three of the lego BaM theft scandal.>>85034942>grr waiting for my package and it's not coming grr even tho the guy who sent it lives 20km awayIt'll come eventually. it's just takes time.
>>85035326>but mannn if I had ordered it form 100km away it would've already been hereit's probably going to some distribution center first and then gets send back. or the guy just didn't send it yet. or some fuckup happened. i'm in the most western part of the country and we had mail in the shop that was send from berlin to berlin, from munich to munich, from france to uk and from austria to switzerland. no clue how stuff like that can even happen.>why so long hours DD;dunno. didn't ask. i guess one of my coworkers bailed again. more money for me.>you should take some sleep earlyin bed already. i'll try to stay up a bit longer, but not for that long.>to a different mallwhat can you get there you couldn't get at your regular mall?>I had tondo something elsewhat was it?>I found some time to chillwell deserved after being bothered like that. >:[>I'm gonna go tomorrownice way to start the weekend. :D>>85035588>I didn't get it this round.there'll always be a next time on steam, but the wishlist keeps getting bigger...>I just got rain world and scorn for 7 dollars total.scorn didn't quite live up to the expactations, but at that price it can't be that bad. what's rain world? saw it on the store, but didn't look into it. like the artstyle, though.
>>85035588slugcat!>gets too many as is.aw ^^>watched part three of the lego BaM theft scandal.what's your opinion about it?>come eventually. it's just takes time.I knoat least I'm patient >>85035664>probably going to some distributionyep it got picked up yesterday and got to a center and then instead of going to me it went to another center o.o>my coworkers bailed again. more money for me.but less time :<>stay up a bit longer, but not for that long.oke just don't fall asleep on your way to work>what can you get thernothing ^^but I tried to return something in a store in the usual mall and the stoer looked wierd and I asked someone for help and they said to wait and never showed up and I got embarrassed >what was it?go to grandma>deserved after being bothered like that. >:[I agree :<are you chilling?>way to start the weekend. :Dyep tho I wish I could go on a bikeride but such is life
>>85035806>it went to another center o.olet's hope it'll be the last.>but less time :<wouldn't have used it in a productive manner anyway.>just don't fall asleep on your way to workdon't have to get up early tomorrow, so that shouldn't be a problem>I asked someone for help and they said to wait and never showed up and I got embarrassedgotta sit stuff like that out and just wait until they bother to show up. then again, maybe the guys at the other mall will actually be helpful.>go to grandmahow is she doing?>are you chilling?yeah. just looking for something to fall asleep to ~.~>I wish I could go on a bikeride but such is lifewell, you tried your best to make it happen. :/ there'll always be another day. just enjoy your time at the mall and treat yourself to something.calling it now. good night
>>85035964>hope it'll be the last.well see D:>have used it in a productive manner anyway.hmm I'd say resting is productive time>don't have to get up early tomorrowyay>wait until they bother to show up.they changed the layout of the store so it's very confusing now and I didn't know where to wait and so on>she doing?doing okay ^^>something to fall asleep tobest of luck!>time at the mall and treat yourself to something.ty I will ^^>calling it now. good nightsame here what the frigg it's like we live in a similar timezone or something ~w~
>>85035027>drink lots of watacan't reallymy throat hurts a bit >they're green too?no they're grey>that nice what did u do?uhh relaxed and had some fun talking a bit>because school? not exactlymaaan im tired asfhow are you doing?>>85035157>hi rem.heya yuanonhow are you>how are you today?i'm fine!>didn'tthat's sad :/>turned into a long dayhappens :/will you be able to fix it perhaps in the weekend?>just treat lifting heavy packages at work as one...lol you really candon't overdo it though :[
>>85036115>my throat hurts a bitow why :< are you sick?>they're greythat's a good color too>relaxed and had some fun talking a bitthat's nice >not exactlyhm so wanna say what?>how are you doing?I'm very eepy and watching horror game on yt tomorrow I'm gonna take a bus to the mall and also make do some other stuff, we'll see wbu?
>>85035027>why job?Done with school, gotta get money somehow and I want to move out>no!Yes>>85035127>congrats on the jobThx>but what got you down?Everything man. Life is not worth living anymore. Like, look at me. I am worthless. I serve zero purpose. I rot in my room all day, chainsmoking and trying to survive the nights. I dont want to keep on trying anymore. Im alone. Im invisible. Im just so done with everything. Nobody even fucking cares abt how I feel. I aint got anyone to talk to abt all this shit irl. I tried man. I tried. But of course life has to fuck me again.
>>85035664>scorn didn't quite live up to the expactations, but at that price it can't be that bad.it was like 4 dollars, i can't be too mad>what's rain world?I strted playing it today. it's like a survival platformer. You play as a little white squal cat thing running around some machinical world with plants and crocs trying to eat you. >>85035806>what's your opinion about it?It's much of the same we got from Amon lying previously. Only now we have proof that all his "death threats" were made up.>>85036115hi rem>my throat hurts a bit Oh no, i hope you can relax a bit
sometimes youtube recommendations are so gross they make me want to die. I dont know where else to post this because everyone else censors this shit but I needed to say that.
>>85037535I hope you are doing well o/>yt recommedations are grossHow so, anon?If you want to get rid of them entirely, there are ways to eliminate YT recommendations on both computer and phone. I use extensions to block them and the Brave browser, which has a filter in the settings that blocks them automatically.
bump for the htread
bemp pahe 8
I was diagnosed with BPD to which the only approved treatment (in my country) is DBT. To which it's over a year of queue.
>>85036246>are you sick?a bit, yesbut i'm better now>a good color tooyup i like itwhat do you wear on top to fit the pants btw?if mine were grey i would wear a white t-shirt or something similar>so wanna say what?oh it's just classes but like not school>very eepy and watchingi was a bit eepy tooman i stayed awake for a really long time yesterdayalso how didn't you turn off your computer and go to sleep? >:) cuz like i might do that if i got eepy like that>tomorrow I'm gonna take a bus to the mall and also make do some other stuffthat's nicewhat will you buy from the mall?>wbu?currently i'm just gonna chill before studying later>>85036772>Oh no, i hope you can relax a bitthanks cynicyou too are sick?
bump in the day
>>85030108>i just feel all is lost at this point, the game is ultimately over for me at this momentpoint is never lost, it is always omnipresent until we realise it is there, and more importantly, what it isalmost like a phoenix, rebirthed from hopelessness man can find his "purpose">>85030194>but I also don't feel as much need to cut anymore, so I'm not sure why I'm so deadset on doing itbecame a habit probablyyou should probably avoid it if you dont feel the need to do it>>85030269>Still waiting to hear back on whether or not I get to keep my jobthat sounds almost like psychological torture>>85031121>they all expect you to be all these things im not. im autistic not rich not socialsounds like someone is blackpilledthose who you speak of are unreasonable pople, usually not even deserving of something like thatyou never know what you might find>also im very addicted to caffeine i imagine that doesnt help lol>>85031825lol employedwhat sorta job u got?
>>85036291hello c:>gotta get money somehow and I want to move outoo nicewhat sort of job is it?>YesDx>>85036772heya>now we have proof that all his "death threats" were made up.so the victim guy did nothing wrong ?>>85037535hey anon >recommendations are so grosswhat sort of crap do you get reccomened?>>85040099hello>which it's over a year of queue.dang :/you're gonna sign up for that?>>85040607>yesD:>but i'm better nowat least is it a cold?>what do you wear on top to fita white longsleve, and a red t-shirt on topmaybe I'll make an image to sorta give you an idea how it looks like >classes but like not schoolI see :< sorry you gotta still deal with that>didn't you turn off your computer and go to sleep?oh I use 4chan on my phone and I was in bed typing >what will you buy from the mall?just returned some stuff and got chips :]>just gonna chill before studying latehave fun!>>85041376hello o/
>>85025628>How are you doing today?im okayyy>Any plans for today?going to a concert now, so thats funmy phones been in for repairs for almost a week and im getting impatientt though
>>85042047hey hey nyanster!>okayyyyay \o/hopefully it lasts>concert now,woa :owhat music is it going to be?>almost a weekthat's so long do you know what it's taking so long?? >:3
>>85041544>you're gonna sign up for that?Yes, I was automatically signed up when I got the diagnosis. But I'm not sure. I hope a year from now I wont need therapy anymore. Either I have found a way to cope myself (reading therapy e-books) or I have decorated by bathroom walls with my brain matter.
>>85042429>>85042429>I'm not sure. I hope a year from now I wont need therapybest of luck !that's how you got the diagnosis? it just came up in therapy?>have decorated by bathroom walls withhopefully not that one
>>85040607looks sorta like this
>>85042829>that's how you got the diagnosis? it just came up in therapy?No, I did a bunch of tests and interviews with a psychologist and after a week they told me:Congrats! You got BPD and autism! In a year you will get into the DBT group! GL, hope you wont hurt yourself until then!
>>85036052>I'd say resting is productive timebody agrees, but brain is not so easily convinced>they changed the layout of the store so it's very confusing now and I didn't know where to wait and so onthat's always so annoying. guess they won't face your wrath this time, but you can scout the location in preparation for next time.>doing okay ^^good to hear. hope she got you something nice.>I will ^^what did you get?>it's like we live in a similar timezone or something ~w~kinda eerie, ngl>>85036115>how are youi'm alright. finally home, but i'm not sure what to do tonight. no motivation to do anything.>i'm fine!yay! \o/ glad life's giving you a break for once.>that's sad :/there's always another time for it. did another short routine today. it was nice.>will you be able to fix it perhaps in the weekend?should be. no plans as far as i can tell. might just go to my local nerd store and pick up some manga i ordered.>don't overdo it though :[dsadly i don't have much of a choice in the matter. :[>>85036291>Thxwhat kind of job is it?>Like, look at me. I am worthless. I serve zero purpose.i know where you're coming from. been there myself often enough. lots of these things are decided by factors outside of our control and the best we can do is to identify the things we do have control over and do our best to improve those. like, the smoking is 100% in your control. you could have your last cig tonight and never touch one again come tomorrow. you don't need to have a purpose to just live and exist. to have one would be a plus, but it's optional.>I dont want to keep on trying anymore.that's ok. just making it to the next day is an achievement in itself.>Im alone. Im invisible.sorry to hear that. you deserve better.>Nobody even fucking cares abt how I feel.about what?
>>85036291>I aint got anyone to talk to abt all this shit irl. I tried man. I tried.i tried that too, but realized it doesn't really help or change anything. dynamics between people are very hard to change. you can always tell us what you think or feel, though. i know it's not the same, though.>But of course life has to fuck me again.what happened?>>85036772>it was like 4 dollars, i can't be too madthat's what i mean. in the end it's all about managing your expectations. last time i was really hyped for a game was diablo 2. it's a great game, but it could never live up to whatever i had imagined it should be. learned an important lesson, though.>You play as a little white squal cat thing running around some machinical world with plants and crocs trying to eat you.sounds cool. is it?>>85037535>sometimes youtube recommendations are so gross they make me want to diethis, but 95% of media. what kind of recs did you get?>I dont know where else to post this because everyone else censors this shit but I needed to say that.that's ok. just speak your mind.>>85040099>To which it's over a year of queue.fucking hell... hang in there, anon.>>85042047hey! it's meowster! :D been thinking about you, lately. how have you been?>going to a concert nowhave a good time! what's the band?>my phones been in for repairs for almost a week and im getting impatientt thoughwhat happened to it?
>>85041544>is it cold?yepupdate: it's gotten worse>red t-shirt on topi see i seethe long sleeves symptom lolmy family asked me so much about it and i kept saying "i feel more comfortable like that">on my phone how dudeits so tiring sometimes>returned some stuff and got chipsnice!what flavour you got?>>85043124pardon yuanon im so tired now, ~_~ replying later
>>85043628>pardon yuanon im so tired now, ~_~ replying laterall good. have a good rest and see you later.
>>85042960>did a bunch of tests and interviews with a psychologistooh but did you set it up because you suspected something?>You got BPD and autismwhat a combo>In a year you will get into the DBT group! GLlolWell at least you've survived so far (your whole life)>>85043124>but brain is not so easily convincedsilly brain>that's always so annoyingthe store over there also was strange but at least someone came this time>hope she got you something nice.nope but it's okay >what did you get?got some peanut flips and an ice cream >kinda eerie, nglo.ohow was your day btw?>>85043628>it's gotten worsennoooooo ;w;stay comfy and get well soon fren>feel more comfortable like thatand it looks cool I think!>how dudehaha ^^I think it's because I can't chitchat when I'm comfy in bed also I'm used to it>what flavour you got?peanut :33
>How are you doing today?stuck on a mission in GTA III>Any plans for today?Play GTA III>When was the last time you hurt yourself?I ripped off a pimple yesterday>Why did you hurt yourself?accident. sigh>Is there anything bothering you right now?I can't beat a mission in GTA III
>>85043736>silly brainhonestly, i think that guy is responsible for a large amount of my issues...>also was strangehow so?>at least someone came this timewere they able to help?>some peanut flips and an ice creamdidn't have flips in a while. i got myself some waffles with strawberries and whipped cream. the bakery across the street from my workplace didn't have anything else anymore. (^-^;)>how was your day btw?normal. tried out a new bodyweight follow along before work, did work, then went home. now it's bedtime again. no clue where the day went.>>85043752>stuck on a mission in GTA IIIwhat kind of mission is it? i never was able to play gta the way it was intended to.
>>85044015I beat it... and what do you mean the way it was intended to???
>>85044125>I beat it...good job!>and what do you mean the way it was intended to???like, play missions and follow the story. i always got sidetracked, blew stuff up for a while, got bored and stopped playing. i admit, it's a me problem
Probably over the top but I'm not really into cutting at all. Haven't done it like since I was a retarded teen. Did it for fun but ehh, not worth it. The over the top part is newly fantasizing BDSM shit that doesn't leave marks or permanent damage onto my body. Any suggestions on causing myself pain without lasting damage? Hell, if god could give me a physically abusive gf, life would be great.Sorry if this is absolutely wrong place to say this.
>>85043752>stuck on a mission inwhich one is it?>Play GTA IIIand yes playing all the gta's to get ready for the 6?>ripped off a pimple yesteryouch >can't beat a missionsomebody help this guy! D:>>85044015>think that guy is responsiblyou think so? :o>how so?so it was like self checkout but wierd all of the stations were just in one place joined together and between them there was a table where I could return my thingI'm not describing it very well >they able to help?yep :>>with strawberries and whipped creamsounds very nice!! :3>didn't have anything else anymore. (^-^;)are you disappointed?>new bodyweight followwoa and all that before work!?>it's bedtime again. no clue where the day went.same I'm telling they it's like boiling a frogthey're making the day shorter one second a day ao we don't notice >>85044276can't help you anon
>>85044276wax is supposedly good for that drip a candle on your chest and see how that feels.
>>85044327no I just enjoy GTA III I've played it all my gaming life... I play IV on off idk when I'll get the VI I don't have new gen consoles. Do you game?
>>85044331If I get boring answers like that then Imma just fantasize getting a hooker to break my ankle with a hammer then.
>>85044364when ot comes to gta, san andreas is the one that's been with me always qnd it's my fav gtabut in general I don't game much I like playing games but I don't do it all that often My favorite game ever is half-life and when I play something it's often just a hl mod
also getting sleepy might crash soon
>>85044415wow yeah you're truly fucked in the head. Can you give me examples?
>>85044511Like sexual fantasy examples?
>>85044327>you think so? :odoesn't make life easier. that's for sure.>I'm not describing it very wellif it was easy to describe, it wouldn't be weird, would it?>yep :>at least you were able to close that chapter before the weekend.>are you disappointed?no, it was good. just a bit extra for a mid-work snack. not much of a choice, though.>all that before work!?it was just ten minutes and i'd say it's a nice warm up.>I'm telling they it's like boiling a frogyeah, true. time flies when you boil a good frog.>they're making the day shorter one second a day ao we don't noticeat this point, i wouldn't put it past them>>85044491same. good night.
>>85044524Yes, exactly that examples... and why wax is not a good one also?
>>85044706Pribably wholesome but physically abusive gf or just a female sex fiend. Just saying this is a cutting thread and you say do wax. I guess no permanent damage is a limitation. Few broken bones and bruises would be hot.A woman with authority as well would be hot. Like a uniform.
i wish i could cut deeper like i used too now i just cut like a fucking bitch and what the fuck is this fucking Thread no one cares about your gross fucking fetish fuck off fucking bitch i want to kill myself right now fucking everyone everything life will never be good or happiness everything in life i do is a facade and just a cover up before i fucking leave and never bother anyone again
>>85043170>fucking hell... hang in there, anon.>>85043736>Well at least you've survived so far (your whole life)Unfortunately.>did you set it up because you suspected something?No, they wanted to test me because I've tried like 6 or 7 antidepressants/anxiety meds now without noticing even the smallest change (better or worse). Going to the hospital for wanting to die (+ have tried) and self harm (obviously).
>>85043124>i'm alrightglad to hear that>no motivation to do anything.maybe you could have a nice snack you like, no?>yay:D>did another short routine today.so work wasn't that annoying yesterday?>might just go to my local nerd storebut how is that supposed to make you fix your schedule? >sadly i don't have much of a choice in the matteroh :/my dad used to lift heavy things at work, and that didn't give much good resultsmaybe ask coworkers to help you? like just don't let yourself carry everything heavy alone>>85043736>stay comfy and get well soon frenthanks!>and it looks cool I thinkyup>I can't chitchat when I'm comfy in bedyou mean the opposite, right?>peanutohh i like peanut chipsthere was one i really liked as a kid
>>85043124>what kind of job is it?Nurse. Gonna do that for around 3-5 years until I can switch n then go do autopsies>what happened?I lost everything! My parents dont give a shit abt me anymore, my friends now all left me, Im broke, no future and no idea how Im going to survive the next 5 years >>85043752>I cant beat a mission in GTA IIIReplayed III a few weeks ago, maybe Im able to help out?
headed to crete todayi hope i dont end up in a tree like the german fallschrimjaegersee you all in probably like, a week, i hopein other news i wanna cut but no good reason to, which is the only thing stopping me (annoyingly)>>85034506not silly at all desui hope youll manage to evolve and be the person youd more like to bebig ass journey most of us need to take>>85034806heya yuanonsure is enough if youre in the mood for itwhats your kind of past time in such evenings?>>85041544hewwo cat>>85045844#notmygatorpiss off impostor
what tool to use to make thick wounds? im using kitchen knife and able only to make pathetic think scars
Been a while since filled with work chaos, but I am back for now. Have some cons coming up which should be fun. End of the month, then another next month. Excited for everything.Taking it easy kind of day. Going to probably do a little work and play some wuwa.>>85048338hey sisyphus >headed to crete todayhave fun! pretty cool trip to go on. As I always say, I'm sort of envious of european posters for having such exciting places to visit so relatively within distance.
hey everyone, just dropping in for a quick one before bedtoday was pretty nice actually. Rained throughout the day so it was rather chilly. Didn't binge/purge for the first time in over 2 months I think nor did I starve myself. Cleaned my room and washed my bed sheetsalso started working on a synthwave arrangement of the song Freedom Dive to keep myself busy so here is some work in progress. Still not sure how I want to arrange that small dominant 7th section (0:27) so that was just a crude stand inhttps://voca.ro/1bSqU0JVgPNHgoodnight everyone!
>>85047986>maybe you could have a nice snack you like, no?i've been eating way too many of those. i really should stop. ^^'>work wasn't that annoying yesterday?i just had time before work to do it. work was ok, though.>how is that supposed to make you fix your schedule?it isn't. was just thinking out loud what i could do this weekend. didn't end up going, though.>that didn't give much good resultsi try to be careful, but some things are just hard to get a hold on or i have to lift them from an awkward angle. definitely prolonging the back issues i gave myself working out. :/>maybe ask coworkers to help you?for most things it would just be too awkward to carry with two people and, honestly, they wouldn't be much help.>>85048104>Nurse. Gonna do that for around 3-5 years until I can switch n then go do autopsiesit's a rough job, but i hope you'll have good coworkers who make it bearable.>I lost everything!how did that happen? didn't seem that things were going that bad recently.>>85048338>headed to crete todayhave a good time, dude!>whats your kind of past time in such evenings?been a while since i've been feeling like it, but reading a book or manga is usually what i do. still have some manga lying around and need to get some i ordered from the store... (^-^;)>>85049134>Been a while since filled with work chaos, but I am back for now.what kept you busy? hope it wasn't as bad as your old job>Excited for everything.you've earned yourself some good times.>Taking it easy kind of day. Going to probably do a little work and play some wuwa.same. not much to do, so i'll try jjk season 2 again. what's wuwa?
>>85049419heyo!>Rained throughout the day so it was rather chilly.i'm jealous. >.< could use a day like that just to reset the mind.>Didn't binge/purge for the first time in over 2 months I think nor did I starve myself. Cleaned my room and washed my bed sheetsprogress! \o/ but that reminds me: i also need to do some laundry... ugh. what did you eat?>here is some work in progress. i like it so far. hope you find a way to improve it the way you want to.>goodnight everyone!sleep well!
>>85049419hey hey tamago! Glad to see you sounding a little upbeat>Didn't binge/purge for the first time in over 2 monthsgood to hear. That's progress if even a little baby step>working on a synthwave arrangementvery nice! I wanted more than anything to work on this time of music, but it's so hard getting into from zero and unfortunately gave up.>so that was just a crude stand inas someone who knows first hand how much work goes into making something like this, still appreciate what you did here, but hope you get it how you want eventually just keep with it>>85049573>what kept you busy? hope it wasn't as bad as your old jobit's not, but it's a lot of work. Old place don't think I had quite as much volume, but was set up for failure with everything i was doing. So I'm probably do more volume of work, but I'm less pressured and feel more motivated, but still chips away at you a bit. That combined with not sleeping great, the heat, and other stress made me feel worse and just fatigued mentally>so i'll try jjk season 2 again. good luck! If you can power through the first episodes, rest is quite enjoyable. So hope you manage>what's wuwa?wuthering waves. Another gacha game, but this one is open world rpg with fairly good combat and exploration. I enjoy the setting (it's like sci fi wuxia which is pretty cool) and characters are fun which is key for gacha.
>>85049700>it's not, but it's a lot of work.as long as you can see it being worth your time. nothing worse than working a job that feels utterly pointless.>still chips away at you a bit.of course. everything does. some things just worse than others.>That combined with not sleeping great, the heat, and other stress made me feel worse and just fatigued mentallythat's lot of stuff hitting you all at once. :[ what's the other stress, though?>So hope you managethe knowledge that there is an end to this helps, but i have to take lots of breaks for lamentations and the gnashing of teeth. it'll take me some time.>wuthering wavesi think i heard the name before, but don't even know how it looks.>wuxiathat explains it.>characters are fun which is key for gacha.makes up for a lot of flaws in general.
hello everyone, i havent cut in a while (relevant later)i hate my body no matter how much fat i burn. i am rewarded when i feel any indicator of starvation, be it hunger, lethargy, stomach issues you name it, it makes me feel some form of joyhowever that joy exists parallel to the actual misery of starving and sometimes i take breaks by: binge, purge, drink water, purge, drink water, repeat until it comes out clear. normies drink their coffee while i force myself to eat and vomit to get a false sense of energy from my cns kekwhile i used to only take breaks using this method, ive started relying on it instead of purely starvingmy anxiety is at an all time high at the possibility of possibly having others think my breath stinks, i do NOT want others to perceive me the same way as that one disgusting fucking teacher from middle school that would always get too closenow im mainly starving and distracting myself with retarded methods like randomly singing or dancing to keep my brain running, trying to bypass the apathy and actually get shit done/somewhat enjoy my life.but i feel the need to cut againi dont know if i should, at this point it might be better than binging and purgingabsolutely any advice would be greatly appreciated
>>85049846>nothing worse than working a job that feels utterly pointless.i mean, grand scheme of things, I feel that way still anyway lol It's more about whether or not it's tolerable or not and whether or not it feels relatively stable. All I care about in the end.>what's the other stress, though?problematic people outside work, but won't get into it now since just trying to relax>there is an end to this helpsGojo is completely absent most of the next arc and it has some of the best shonen action in recent memory> breaks for lamentations and the gnashing of teeth. it'll take me some time.for as much as Gojo is tiresome, I like Geto at least and you get a fair bit of him as well those early episodes>i think i heard the name before, but don't even know how it looks.It's in the style of those botw like chinese gacha games with big open maps, which when I first heard of the concept years ago i imagined a cheap knock off, but no I quite like the world building they do. I play another one called NTE which is same thing, botw like, but big fleshed out bustling city that is quite well designed. >that explains it.My gf was in the other room and was hearing names like Yangyang and Baizhi and immediately turns and goes "What the hell are you even playing?">makes up for a lot of flaws in general.Hard to be too annoyed with bumps in a free to play game, but still stand by a lot of these games have been more enjoyable than games I've spent money on before.
>>85050038hi anon>i hate my body no matterthe real issue at the heart of all this>at this point it might be better than binging and purgingi don't advise either, but am also inclined to agree. Starving yourself is going to impair your thinking, put strain on your heat, and cause a lot of addition issues to be worse. I'd say anxiety and all these other issues are likely being exacerbated by you starving yourself, since brain needs energy to function properly and feel motivated to do anything. I think whatever you have to do to motivate yourself to eat better is really what you should focus on. If you eat healthy and within reason you're not going to be fat, and quite honestly takes a lot of effort to think about if you can put focus on that. Have you tried that before going to starvation and binging?
>>85049573>it's a rough job, but i hope you'll have good coworkers who make it bearable.theyre awesome. didnt think they would be so nice and chill>how did that happen? welp, dunno>didn't seem that things were going that bad recently.thats the thing. it always happens when i feel good.
>>85050038hey anon. i agree with what officeanon said, but you could also try alternative diets. maybe one of those would make it easier for you to stay at higher levels of energy while staying close to your goals.>>85050175>It's more about whether or not it's tolerable or not and whether or not it feels relatively stable.i suppose that's true. as long as you can live comfortably, that's all that matters.>problematic people outside work, but won't get into it nowfair. no reason to get riled up when you're trying to enjoy the weekend. ^^>Gojo is completely absent most of the next arc and it has some of the best shonen action in recent memoryi'm at the point where they trapped the people in the train station. looking forward to it then. he just killed the locust-demon-thingy.>for as much as Gojo is tiresome, I like Geto at least and you get a fair bit of him as well those early episodesi've got no clue who any of these characters are or what they want. not even sure if i had a favorite to begin with. maybe it'll come back to me. i think i liked the blonde guy?>botw like chinese gacha gamesthey're popular enough. friend of mine really enjoys genshin, so no complaints when it comes to quality, i guess. never been a fan of botw, though.>I play another one called NTEhow many of those can you play at the same time?>"What the hell are you even playing?"my reaction exactly, but i just don't mix with chinese culture, designs or myths, so it probably comes from a different place. :p how is, btw?>a lot of these games have been more enjoyable than games I've spent money on beforei take your (and my other friend's) word for it, but i'll never feel comfortable with playing games that use this business model. i just don't feel the slightest compulsion to spend any money in these games.
>>85050638>theyre awesome. didnt think they would be so nice and chillthat's worth a lot and often makes all the difference. glad you like them.>welp, dunnothat's strange. well, we're still here and not going anywhere soon, so you can count on us, for what it's worth. o7>thats the thing. it always happens when i feel good.i have something similar. whenever i feel good, everyone else has bad things happen to them, and when everyone else is doing alright, things take a turn for the worse for me. i don't know what's going on.
>>85048104I am like 6 missions past that one. Do you know how to fly the dodo? I did all the export vehicles and driving that plane hoping to not start gliding was the most frustrating thing ever.
>>85051364>. as long as you can live comfortably, that's all that matters.don't get me wrong, would love to do something that matters and makes me feel good. But end of day, that doesn't necessarily pay the bills and that's what we gotta focus on>i'm at the point where they trapped the people in the train station.you're through the worst of your suffering then. think it's all up from there>not even sure if i had a favorite to begin with.I liked Geto because he was the only character that really shined in the cursed inventory section for me and think they did a good job showing explaining his hatred for humans. Once again, I seem to like the villains for some reason.> i think i liked the blonde guy?Nanami who I found to be the most relatable character after declaring the reason he went back to being a sorcerer is because working sucks> i guess. never been a fan of botw, though.honestly never been the biggest zelda fan in general. I like botw well enough, but I don't like maps that are mostly wilderness, so I appreciate these games feeling a little more lived in with the cities they have.>how many of those can you play at the same time?I've gone mad from gacha games, full time job now. Honestly though, that one is a much different game. It's like the yakuza of gacha games. You go to the arcade and play claw machines, then drive to decorate your apartment, but get in a car chase with police as you flee with your cat girl waifu in the passenger seat. Very comfy game>just don't mix with chinese culture, designs or mythsthey don't exactly make accessible honestly. I read a crap ton of chinese lit so I'm all good>how is, btw?assuming you meant to ask how she is, everything is good. Trying to enjoy a little bit of summer before she is busy again
>>85051364>never feel comfortable with playing games that use this business model. i just don't feel the slightest compulsion to spend any money in these games.Understandable and don't think you're missing out on anything not playing them. I think the only thing I'd argue is I think people are a little too negative against them on principle. I've played quite a few of them now, and the monetization is there, but never felt the need to pay real money to do something I wanted and most have relatively generous "pity systems" that make it reasonable to get things you want without spending money.Honestly, I think gacha in non-gacha games you already paid for (loot crates in shooters, other shit like that) is actually the real predatory implementation of this. Much scummier and actually fosters true pay to win environment, as opposed to the free to play rpg letting you buy currency to pull for bikini skins.
>>85052180>think it's all up from therethey just summoned sukuna. fights have been nice so far.>Once again, I seem to like the villains for some reasoni can see why, but i missed/forgot that he's supposed to be dead an puppeteered by that brain-thing, but i guess everyone can return somehow anyway. so waiting where that will go.>the reason he went back to being a sorcerer is because working sucksyeah, i'd rather do anything else, too. i don't remember what happened in season 1 one, so i'm not sure why i made that choice, but sounds like a strong contender. ^^>never been the biggest zelda fan in generali like the structure of the earlier zelda titles a lot, but my favorite zelda-like is darksiders. wish more games would pick it up now that we don't even get zelda games like that anymore.>I don't like maps that are mostly wilderness, so I appreciate these games feeling a little more lived in with the cities they have.i'm ok with anything, as long as i feel like it serves a purpose besides busywork.>I've gone mad from gacha games, full time job now.no harm as long as they're fun and you can still keep up.>then drive to decorate your apartment, but get in a car chase with police as you flee with your cat girl waifu in the passenger seat. Very comfy gamei think i know which game you're talking about now. at least i've got some images in my head. i think i saw it at one of those reveal shows before. why exactly do you have to flee the police, though? think you missed a step there.>they don't exactly make accessible honestly. I read a crap ton of chinese lit so I'm all goodi think a lot of people are into it. even gw just released a warhammer army based on ancient china. just doesn't vibe with me. just like some people don't like dark medieval fantasy settings, but i'd say you're eating very well rn. ^^>Trying to enjoy a little bit of summer before she is busy againhope summer isn't too much of a hassle to be enjoyable. god knows it's trying.
>>85052258>actually the real predatory implementation of thisthere's always people who feel the need to spend unreasonable amounts of money, no matter how reasonable the monetization seems. i agree with you that there are worse methods, but it's all aimed at the mentally ill heavy spenders regardless. it's just where i've come to draw the line for me personally. people can play and spend their money on whatever they want.>letting you buy currency to pull for bikini skins.visuals is by far the most important thing for people. that's why they want to monetize it so badly. "it's only cosmetic! it doesn't affect gameplay! it's optional! it's player choice!" has been the mantra of the gaming lobby for ages now.
