I'm nothing but my social anxiety and autism.Everywhere I go, I end up the silent guy who everyone else steers away from.My thoughts are slow. When I am temporarily included in a conversation out of pity, I can see an opportunity or two to chime in with my two cents, but someone else seizes it and says exactly the kind of retort or observation I made. So I just end up mute instead and make everything awkward until I escape from the conversation.My cousin told me once that I just have social anxiety, that the solution is to blurt out anything that comes to my mind even if I label it as politically incorrect. But it's not that, it's like my brain can't conjure up what to say unless I'm in the company of five people in the whole world. Which is essentially impossible to replicate in other environments, and I'm too afraid to ask these five people what draws them to me. One of them hinted that he finds the way I express myself interesting. I don't really like that reason because it makes me feel like a guinea pig, but I let it slide because he doesn't have many flaws.I'm a lolcow in my geographic proximity because of several social gaffes I made in my teenage and early adult years, such as: laughing at jokes deemed too dark when the person was being facetious, willingly choosing dance over sportsball in PE, asking out a figure of authority and being a KHHV.It never began for me.
>>85084457It's probably the anxiety that makes your thoughts feel slow. Your cousin is probably somewhat right... you need to practice verbalizing your thoughts as they come to you. Right now you're probably having the thought, rationalizing why you should/shouldn't say it, worrying about what other people will think if you say it, etc. Are you generally comfortable enough 1 on 1 with your cousin to have conversations without feeling too much anxiety?
protip: you don't actually have to say anything in a conversation, especially if you're heterosexual male
>>85084457Take adderall. Even if you don't have adhd. It'll give you confidence and fix the slow thought problem.
>>85084503Yeah, I like when I am in a state of flow, the problem there is that I tend to act clownish due to it being a tactic from my childhood. I already lost a friend over that and having no bitches.I guess I could talk like that with my cousin but we're on different countries now so setting a time for conversation would be somewhat awkward.>>85084519I guess bro, I was eavesdropping on my classmates and the dude among them was silent 90% of the time and kinda letting the girls carry the whole group interaction, talking about some normie film, then about work conditions, then about the military.
>>85084457Cute oppai. Try alcohol.
>>85084561>>85084585I am traumatised against drugs from my dad dying of lung cancer. I'd rather waste away than actually fix my situation. It's why my first psychologist got frustrated with me and ended our professional relationship, well, the stated reason, the reason is because I'm an ugly guy.
