> wanted to kill myself last night> searching for my medication, enough to kill 2 people> cant find it, give up and go to sleep> wake up this morning, find medication hidden under open book > The Myth of Sisyphus by CamusPhilosophy and absurdism saves lives, take the philosophypill anons
Starting out with philosophy just made me realize that nothing seems valuable and I don't know what is real, and that I would have to spend ten thousand hours wrestling with works and ideas way above my level to be able to even start to build a solid foundation for a my worldview. So I regret it and instead I distract myself from my problems and my questions with drinking, people, drugs, and highly distracting low-effort media.
>>85090023i agree with this wholeheartedly i used to be so full of despair and hatred but both meds and having a clear enough head (because of the meds) to sit and read philosophical essays and novels has helped so vastly
>>85090041so, the start of doing something like this is tearing down a bunch of pre-conceived notions. you don't get to build much at first. that can be very overwhelming and feel pretty damn bad, so i get it, but i would still encourage you not to give up yet. so, what was the thing that felt most destabilizing, the thing that made the distraction feel necessary? because that's probably the most useful place to start: with the specific question that's heaviest. you probably don't need to read your way to a foundation. what you probably need to do is find the one thing that matters most to you right now and follow it deeper, even if it's uncomfortable, maybe especially if it's uncomfortable.
>>85090023What you say is true. I took the Camuspill and read several of his works previously (really liked, "The Stranger," but "A Happy Death" is a favorite), and now I'm too angry to off myself.I still prefer tea over coffee though.
