Anons who have experienced "ego death" or something similar, what was it like? Did you try to trigger it on purpose or did it just happen?
>>85118873Describe what ego death is in your own words first
>>85118879when you areall 67 and like skibidi badoodlez
>>85118873Not exactly ego death but 5 g of cubensis reset my clock
>>85118873"ego" is not inherently a bad thing, its a tool used to understand reality in the context of being a human. it can be useful to "kill it" if you are stuck in a particularly bad rut, but otherwise it can fuck you up, bad.
Narcissists are always against ego death
>>85118873idk but I once ingested such a large quantity of liberty cap mushrooms that I believed I was dying, went through the grief of dying, accepted that I would die then had each of my human senses stripped from me, my memory of self, being a human, earth and any recollection of this reality. It was very peaceful, I cannot describe where I went as there is nothing I can compare it to which would make any sense. Funnily enough it didn't really change me much but I dont fear the idea of dying anymore.
>>85118873I experienced ego dissolution when a muscle mommy was trampling me and crushing my skull with her thighs. It felt incredible. The loss of control and feeling that your mind is floating untethered and helplessly is amazing.
sometimes, but only for a short amount of time. I can recount three times now, maybe more, but i will tell you about these three times.First when i was a young teenager i had an extremely strong existential crisis and many sleepless nights aout the whole nature of reality.I cried and cried and thought whole nights through, read lots of religious and philosophical stuff. And one night i flipped out completely again, had a major panic attack and thousand thoughts about existence running through my head and something clicked and i got it. I felt a wave of relieve washing over me, i as human was gone. Even now was gone. Hard to explain but it was very strange few minutes. But i felt asleep and had a peaceful night. Sadly it only lasted for a week or so and i wasnt really smarter as before and all the existential dread came back real quick, so maybe it was just cope caused by my lack of sleep and panic attack to put me to rest.Second was later in my garden, i was drinking a cup of tea and reading a comfy book on a warm springday. Everything was really green and the birds chirped beautifully. Then i heard the church bell and i felt like i started floating. I was in the moment again and felt just content. No worries, no nothing, i just was. But it stopped after a few minutes too, and i continued reading. Last one, we stopped working because it rained really hard (was landscaper) so i went home, but on the afternoon the weather was really beautiful, so immediatly after the rain i walked outside and made a walk through the local swamp forest. i had a small book with me with collections of 19th century poems of german romanticism, so i was already thinking about existential and mystic stuff again. There at a pond i stayed and and there were still many raindrops falling from the leaves and still clouds above me, but the sun was shining down from an angle, so everything was reflecting and turned into this golden light that i saw once when i had a strong fever.
>>85119798 too long so i will continuei saw and heard many birds ( woodpeckers, blue tits, and saw kingfishers hissing by), heard raindrops falling into the water, crickets. And it all started to echo very strangely, And then i just got it again. Atleast for a short moment. I got goosebumps and was just completely aware. How it all interlocks, how it all comes together. How reality is and will be and how i am in all of this. But sadly i always fall back into the same old existential dread, and now resignated to calm myself with drugsdont know if this is what you think of, when you ask for ego-death experiences, because i dont think its exactly the same as >>85119540 but it might be similar. Or maybe its just all cope as i said dreamed out from my body and hormones to keep me from flipping out, or a manic state caused by some mental illness or some shit. Shroomanon, i envy you and your permanent acceptence of deathblogpost over
>>85119864I hope thats what death is because it was fantastic not being a part of any of this, not having a physical body and being only energy is so freeing, the human body is very clunky and heavy in comparison and being limited to the 5 senses sucks.
>>85118873It's always psychonaut junkies claiming they killed their ego with mushrooms or whatever. Bunch of faggot losers.My ego was destroyed when, after months of being a faggot myself, I got my gf of 5yrs and I evicted from our apartment and she ghosted me.I realized I don't know anything at all except what I can observe with my own eyes. I hope you all experience something like this one day
>>85118873I've been thinking a bit about this. I think you are actually able to experience everyone at once, but you purposely blindfold yourself to one single human's consciousness. As to why, I do not know. Maybe some form of asceticism or perverted thrill-seeking. So ego death would be like lifting the blindfold for a bit.
>>85120982Gnosticslop nonsense. Spiritualityfags are worse than atheists
>>85120913thats what i hope too, but i am full of doubt and uncertainness. Do you subscribe to any particular religion or belief?>>85120982anon, no need to be so rude
I think its a vague term people claim they've experienced mostly to seem deep and cool or some shit. I tell you I've done megadoses of psychedelics and have experienced the total dissolution of the normal waking life where you're an body sensing an external world. But what's ego death? I mean I don't even think there's a substantial self or ego or soul or little homunculus behind the eyes. There's no stable thing that persists through your life I mean time isn't even linear. You exist presently and presently only, now. What's persisting? Feelings and senses are ongoing I guess. I suppose I gave a government name, but that's not an ego or self.Legitimately I don't understand what people mean when they claim this. I don't think they do either. Show me what an ego is show me what a self is first, then I'll believe it can die. But you can't. You never had this thing in the first place it's just some folk psychological nonsense.
>>85118873Someone I thought would always be around left my life and left me behind. It took me a year of hurting and reeling to finally understand that it was my fault, it's because I'm filthy trash and deserve to be alone and suffer. I've improved since then but I still wouldn't dare make a friend.
>>85118873I don't know if it counts but I had something. I went through 2 separate breakups in the last 2 and half years, both crushing the shit out of my self esteem and making me depressed and nihilistic. A lot of the time I have a voice in my head talking away and most of the time it's very self deprecating. I'm already a very lonely person so when I was in the relationships they were all I had. Lately I've been neglecting myself more than usual, hardly eating, hardly drinking, getting 4-5 hours sleep max before work each night.Anyway one day I come home from work utterly exhausted so I fall straight into bed and sleep for about 3 hours until 8pm-ish. When I wake up I feel different, the voice in my head is completely gone. I go into the kitchen without thinking, see the pile of dishes I haven't done in over 2 weeks and without thinking or anxiety immediately start doing them. Then I go into my living room and clean out all the trash including 50+ pepsi cans that have been around my pc table for over a month. I did my washing too, took out all the trash, and anything else I could see that needed done. It's not like I woke up and wanted to do any of these, or that I didn't want to do them but forced myself to. I had zero goal when I walked into the kitchen. I just saw a task to be done and I did it. I wasn't a mindless zombie, I was fully aware of what was happening the entire time. I thought how strange it was but I wasn't bothered by it, I don't think I had the capacity to be bothered by most things in that state.Anyway I went to sleep and woke up the next day and the insanity productive state was gone. Thing is I actually liked it. Usually I'm so self pitying and making excuses to not do anything. But in that state I had none of those feelings. I felt nothing. Not in the usual empty nihilistic way, but I just literally felt no opinion on anything. I wish I could make it happen at will I'd be a much more productive person if I could.
>>85121184To add I also felt zero anger at all. During the state I made dinner and ended up dropping half of it on the floor. Unfortunately I tend to get upset over tiny things. Usually I'd be angry at this and have a vocal outburst but there was nothing. I just put what feel in the trash and immediately started making more without a second thought or emotion. So something that would usually have made me angry and have bothered me a lot had zero effect on me
