With the advent of new technologies and ideologies, children are becoming progressively less safe in the world; indeed, both the mechanics behind predation and the attitudes towards it (spurred on by factors such as pride parades and transgender ideology) mean that children are becoming more of a target than ever before, and governments worldwide are struggling to adopt meaningful solutions.Today, I hope to rectify this issue, with what I believe to be a simple solution. I am naming it "The Emperor's New Crab", as an homage to the popular children's tale.As science determined decades ago, the genetic information of a groomer is more in line with that of a crab than that of a human; therefore, I propose that the solution is self evident, and that in the case of those with suspicious qualities, we should look deeper upon them to see their true faces, and whether such crablike qualities should present themselves.This can be practiced at scale. Flock cameras can be repurposed to detect the presence of crablike appendages, trawlermen can be covertly inserted into dense crowds to ascertain the presence of any crablike scent, and a prerequisite to using social media platforms can, instead of ID verification, be predicated upon a questionnaire in which prospective users are surveyed on their attitudes towards boiling water and garlic butter.To further my research, I require governments of the world to collaborate on building a giant bucket in which to store them; this will also enable us to take some strain off of the prison system.Discuss.
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