Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual supportgetting high edish (get it? because 737 is a plane) hello>How are you doing today?>Any plans for today?>When was the last time you hurt yourself?>Why did you hurt yourself?>Is there anything bothering you right now?
cool links>a long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7>a first aid post cuting:https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/>a wound care guide:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic>a bpd workbook:https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read>bdbt (dialectical behavioral therapy)workbook is intended for BPD but can work for anyone:https://cursosdepsicologia.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/THEDIA1.pdfPlease don't post any drastic images and if you have to, spoiler them
>>85217795oh wait it's 747 xDig my head is really in the clouds
>>85212962>it's basically finished now that I made the balcony now I'll tie it into the suitcase mapis the suitcase also part of yume nikki or is that your own idea?>that's hasn't happened in a while huhtrue and it won't happen tomorrow, either. friend is busy. (-_-) guess i'll just clean my place and see if i can put some paint on the minis.>>85217795>getting high edish (get it? because 737 is a plane)wouldn't have gotten it without your explanation, so thanks for that.>>85217918>oh wait it's 747 xDi have been mislead D:anyways. how's it going? today was a bit annoying. they promised storms and rain, but it was only a fee drops that made it way worse. glad i'm home now.
>>85217918maybe cat really got high lolhiii!!! hru all?
>>85218202>the suitcase also part of yume nikkinope >your own idea?also nope I got inspiration for it form the vid about the guy who would put elaborate secrets in his maps >nd is busynoo :< do you have work tomorrow?>can put some paint on the minis.that sounds good >>85218202>wouldn't have gotten it without your explanationheh I had the 747 in mind, there's actually a 747 plane map for cs1.6 >have been mislead D:me too it seems D:by myself DD;>how's it going?a bit warm but it was okay until I opened the window and let moist air inBut I'm good, worked on the map and polisher the yume nikki section and startee working on a new one>promised storms and rain, butdamnnnn youuu weatherr wizardss!!>>85218434hello I don't think I'd be able to solve captcha if I was on zaza waddup?>hru all?I'm alright just worked on a map and finished a yume nikki room+balcony recreation
>>85218434hi meowster. good to see you. (^-^) how have you been?>maybe cat really got high lolthe chance is not zero...>hru all?tired, drained, bored. typical thursday night. ^^ not much to tell, honestly. just trying to get through work without snapping.>>85218659>I got inspiration for it form the vidah, i get it. so you're making your own secretive map? :0>do you have work tomorrow?luckily i don't, but i have to think of something else to do. gotten quite dusty in here again. guess i'll deal with that.>there's actually a 747 plane map for cs1.6maybe we should put all knowledge in cs map form.>me too it seems D: by myself DD;who else would be smart enough?>it was okay until I opened the window and let moist air inhuge mistake! D: really killed me at work today, too. only think that helps me right now is my fan.>startee working on a new onewhat's it based on?>damnnnn youuu weatherr wizardss!!they really have lost their magic recently. :[
I've been clean for months but it's mainly because I realized being openly depressed is like bleeding in front of sharks ^.^
>>85217795any cutters male and female please text me on the cordabsolur929i am ready to talk with you. i love you guysplease hop in my dms cuties
>>85218659>I don't think I'd be able to solve captcha if I was on zazaonly one way to find out>waddup?im okay^^ been chilling and having fun this summer :] hbu?>just worked on a map and finished a yume...oooo cool :D id love to see the map when ur done >>85218754>how have you been?im okay ^^ just chilling you?>the chance is not zero..:0>typical thursday night. ^^ not much to tell, honestly. just trying to get through work without snapping.ouch i can imagine, i've also been tired these days>>85218935erm
>>85218935mrowster come back sweetie <3 don't be scared
>>85217795>getting high edishlol>Any plans for today?need to studyhow are you cat?>>85218202heya officeanonhow are you?>>85218896happy to hear that, anoni wish you the best!>>85218935how do you have time for this shiti hope im not accusing false things
>>85218754>you're making your own secretive map? :0it's not gonna be very secret but I think I'll have some odd stuffwell see>luckily i don't\o/maybe you could watch some me movies too?>put all knowledge in cs map formthat sounds cool actually >huge mistake! D: ye :< but I'll survive, I should've left opening the window till like 3am when it's nice and cool >me right now is my fansame>what's it based on?nothing much yet, I don't have a concrete idea but I'll come up with something, it's most similar to white space from omori>lost their magic recently. :[I think they like to mess with people >>85218896good work anon :D >depressed is like bleeding in front of sharks ^.^similar here, I don't think cutting is all that bad but I refuse to cut because someone made me by making me mad or anything of that sortI can't let other people have that power over me >>85218935noyou sound wierd >>85218994>one way to find outI'd go non verbal and paranoid I bet >>85218994>im okay^^ been chilling and having fun this summer :] glad to hear that!! :D what sort of stuff did you do?>hbu?mostly just relaxing, I'm feeling nice but time's passing so fast for me, I'ma bit sad about the summer being over soon and I'll have to deal with shit from my parents >love to see the map when ur donesure ^^I can send a yume room screen just give me a sec
>>85219030hey hey !>need to studysorry about that hope it goes wellany plans besides that?>how are you cat?just worked a bit on a map :3 also time is passing fast O.O
>>85218896>I've been clean for months but it's mainly because I realized being openly depressed is like bleeding in front of sharks ^.^sad truth. good job staying clean. hope you can keep it up.>>85218994>im okay ^^ just chilling you?that's good to hear. pretty much same. no reason to stay up, so i just went to bed. just listening to a stream now. you watching anything?>i've also been tired these daysi feel you. did anything particularly draining happen? not that general living isn't enough...nice artwork btw. >>85219030>heya officeanonclose, but not quite right. ;D>how are you?better now that i'm finally in bed. i'll just watch some stuff until i fall asleep, i think. are you alright?
>>85219004one thing i hate about having a place with freedom is that im probably gonna see people like yousome people barely have limits irl i can think of what you might do when no government can reach youusually i would ignore such replies in the thread but i wasn't feeling so well this timeim sick of your kind
>>85219084>hope it goes wellthanks>any plansyeah im gonna eat noodles and chill before studying>mapohhwhat aesthetic do we have this time?>time is passing fasttruewhat made you think of that?i mean i have special events that happened 8 months ago that that make me think "8 months passed so fast"what about you?>>85219088>but not quite rightlol i knew 100% i was talking to yuanonbut muscle memoryi think i called officeanon once "yuanon">finally in bedwas it a long day?i think you told me you had to carry heavy weighs in work previouslydo you still do that?>are you alrighteh not much
>>85219072>>85219072>I think I'll have some odd stuffwell seelooking forward to it. really need to start checking out your maps. maybe you can tell me wheret to find everything again this weekend.>maybe you could watch some me movies too?first cleaning and painting, then maybe some movies, but i'm.not sure what i should watch. any ideas?>that sounds cool actuallyat least you'd be more interested in checking it out, then. ^^>I should've left opening the window till like 3am when it's nice and cooldid someone mess up their sleep schedule?>it's most similar to white space from omoriwhy did i look that up? my eyes...>I think they like to mess with peopleor they just make it up as they go along. >:[
>>85218994>>85219167I finished some rooms from yume nikki here's the balcony
>>85218994>>85219167and here's the room
>>85219167>lol i knew 100% i was talking to yuanonbut muscle memory i think i called officeanon once "yuanon"except for the fact the he has is life in order and i certainly don't, i can see why that happens. ^^ maybe i should start posting big boob anime girls. :p>was it a long day?not very long, but heat and humidity added to it. that said, don't really know what to do tonight. just played a level of lost planet, but the game really isn't holding up all that well. like, at all... i'll try to finish it, but i can't play long sessions.>you told me you had to carry heavy weighs in work previously do you still do that?yeah. i work at a shop with postal services and some packages can get quite heavy.>not muchwhy not? :<
>>85219167>thanksnp c:>gonna eat noodles and chill before studyinghave a good time ^^what noodles? like instant ones?>aesthetic do we have this time?I posted pics but I'll be varied I think I'll make a bunch of different looking places>what made you think of that?how july is basically overjust a second ago it was may and boom it's the middle of summer now also makes me think I'm really slow with making maps >>85219180>maybe you can tell me wheret to find everything again this weekend.sure :D >first cleaning and painting, then maybe some movies,okay>should watch. any ideas?ugh you got meI thought about watching some movies tomorrow but I have no idea what it should be maybe some illy horror movies like the grudge... idk >interested in checking it out, then. ^^it's fun because it'd actually probably me possible to do>someone mess up their sleep schedule?o.o who might that be??>my eyes...throwing a flash bang!>just make it up as they go along. >:[who knows \(-_-)/
>>85219226ohhhso that's the thingbtw things look so smallare they that small really?>>85219320>like instant ones?yup>different looking placesinteresting>how july is basically overjuly felt long for me ~_~>it's the middle of summer nowyeah honestly i understandlast few years are like that i supposewhenever periods of time are over we think like that was so fastare you sad about it?>>85219242>i can see why that happensi don't wanna type "haha" :/i wish you the best man>girlslol i don't think that can help>heat and humiditytell me about itmy room has humidity a lot of timesbut it's getting better recently>isn't holding up all that wellhmm maybe relax?>can't play long sessionsforcing yourself to finish a boring game is such an ugly experiencei recommend dropping it ~_~>can get quite heavytake care of your back!doesn't anyone help you with carrying?>why not?maybe because something disgusting is sleeping the back of my mind lol
hey everynyan. i'm finally home after a long day. i'll probably watch some youtube and this thread a bit. hope you're all doing well, mwah <3
>>85219320>ugh you got meyeah. not that easy, is it? :p really not much left i feel like watching. maybe i'll just read more manga instead. still have some lying around.>maybe some illy horror movies like the grudge... idkhm. you could check out hokum. that movie was alright, but it's not silly. for silly i recommend the original evil dead movies and army of darkness.>it'd actually probably me possible to dowell, if you feel inspired, go for it. might take you a while, though.>who might that be??who indeed... >throwing a flash bang!i'm so used to dark mode at this point it really feels like it. @.@>>85219462>i don't wanna type "haha" :/ i wish you the best mani appreciate it. type "haha" all you want, though. life's to short not to laugh.>i don't think that can helpprobably not, would be a nice change of pace, though. not that i have saved any. well, maybe one.>my room has humidity a lot of times but it's getting better recentlyreally annoying. how bad is it? maybe a dehumidifier might help?>maybe relax?i'll just sleep soon. it late enough for that.>such an ugly experience i recommend dropping it ~_~true, but i bought it and used to think it was good. i should play it just to make up my mind.>take care of your back! doesn't anyone help you with carrying?most of the time they're too small and awkward for that. don't worry, though. i'll be careful.>>85219476hey chev. good to see you here. :>>i'll probably watch some youtubeanything interesting? i'm just watching daily dose. my go to when i don't know what to watch>hope you're all doing well, mwah <3thanks a lot and same to you. ;D
>>85219462>btw things look so smaloh it's just a perspective playing tricks ^^>yupenjoy I had some yesterday >interestingyep if you have any ideas about what I should make don't be afraid to tell me :3>felt long for me ~_~you have lots of crap to deal with?>time are over we think like that was so fastyep tho actually I'd say last winter felt pretty long to me>are you sad about it?a little wbu?>>85219476hayaahope you're well too^^luckily it seems you are, have a chill time and send us a link if you find anything cool
>>85219601>type "haha" all you wantnah :/>well, maybe oneehh i wouldn't post them if i had>dehumidifieridk man and idk if it's worth it cuz i don't think it's gonna be like that for long>late enough for thatfor relaxing?>but i bought itworst thing ~_~that's gonna be tiring>i'll be carefulyeah don't let it hurt you>>85219609>perspective playing tricksmhm i see>I had some yesterdayit's nice and tastythough i shouldn't eat a lot>don't be afraid to tell methe word afraid made me smile for some reasonbut honestly i have nothing in my mind right now and i'm kinda tired ~_~>lots of crap to deal witha massive lot of craphonestly it's not that much but my head hurts right now and kwuhekhewka i cant stop thinking about it easily>last winter felt pretty long to mefelt long to YOU or because it was really longer than other times?because last winter for me was really longer like it had more days>a littlewbu?just feeling nostalgiaoverall i feel something very trashy in my brain maybe it's gonna disappear when i wake upbtw i had another weird dream todaybut it wasn't about hallucinatingnor did i wake up horrified like last timeit wasn't very weird but yeah>>85219476>hope you're all doing wellhope you too are doing well chev!
going to slep goodnight frens!>>85219601have a nice day tomorrow bud ^^maybe I'll come up with some movies or a dinosaur show x3>>85220035>nothing in my mind right now and i'm kinda tired ~_~it's okay ^^hope the studying goes smoothly and you can take a nap after I feel sorry for u that you have to study so much I really wish you well>had another weird dream today>nor did i wake up horrifiedphew what was it about?
bump i Guess prob just gonna blast sad Music tonight and see what happens
another bump cause why not
3rd bump of the night theres too many colors
>>85220920>>85221590>>85222220thanks for the bumps!
good meowrning guys!
>>85217795i haven't seen this thread before, somehowso hi everyonei'm a loser shut-in from france, i self-harm semi frequently but used to dailylast time i cut myself must have been a week ago though i hurt myself other ways too, i like to pour molten plastic on my skin, which i did todaythe vibes here definitely seem right for me, i may stick around
>>85223799hello anon o/>loser shut-in from france, i self-harm semi frequently but used to dailyhow it going in france? is it hot over there too?Why do you hurt yourself? do you just like it?>pour molten plasticthat's interesting I never done that, only similar thing that happened to me was when my synthetic pants cough on fire and melted away when I was a kid lol>definitely seem right for me, i may stick aroundthanks it's nice to have you here
>>85219004pic is you>>85219030hii rem>need to studywhat you studying on? :0>>85219072>non verbal and paranoid I betlol then maybe lets not>what did you do?been hanging out w friends, gaming, made some money. but overall just having fun ^^>I'ma bit sad about the summer.. I'll have to deal with shit from my parentsreal it passes so quick, and for me its the best season, sorry about the stuff w ur parents, hope that resolves itself>I can send a yume room screen just give me a secyippie>>85219088>you watching anything?hmmm last night i was playing cs2 then i fell asleep watching youtube. hope the stream was nice>did anything particularly draining happen?just a lot going on, not much time to just rest mentally i suppose, im okay though>nice artwork btw.ikr, love it
>>85219226i like the scenery, well done!cozy, good job again. that carpet reminds me of one my grandma had>>85219476hii chev >hope you're all doing wellyou too!!>>85223203good mreowning to you too>>85223799hii anon>shut-in from france, i self-harm semi frequently but used to dailyi hear its hot in france, somehow a lot of people i know are from there, hope the heat isnt too bad>pour molten plasticive never heard of that, be careful nonetheless>i may stick aroundcool :D>>85224124hiii cat!!! how'd you sleep? bro it took 10 mins to send this cause 4chan thinks im spamthis site just keeps getting weirder
>>85224280hello hello>then maybe lets notye ^^'>hanging out w friends, gaming, made some moneywoa sounds so productive :0>its the best season,not surprised if it's probably cold through mostly of the year where ya live huh? ^^>hope that resolves itselfit'll have to :/>yippie\o/>>85224289>scenery, well done!aww thank you!> that carpet reminds me of one my grandma hadsame, they love their geometric carpets >good mreowningo/>how'd you sleep?pretty well actually the temp got to a comfy level at night and I could sleep under my blanket no dreams thowbu?>took 10 mins to send this cause 4chan thinks im spamD;
also whilst i'm here to talk in the thread i definitely do want to eventually add people from here on discord too, it's where i'm used to talking nowadays>>85224124it very much is too hot yeah, i am not handling it welli hurt myself out of loneliness and because i have very bad bpd, idk desumolten plastic i would say is certainly, uhnot pleasantthe scars it leaves are also quite ugly and they require a lot more aftercare>>85224289yeahh it definitely is too hoti hate it, not goodand yeah i don't reccomend the molten plastic, but i feel like i probably deserve intense pain so i do it anyways
>>85224446>eventually add people from here on discord too,that's fine, tho not me mostly because I don't really use discord, I basically only use it to quickly share images between my phone and pcI don't like it, I much prefer taking on 4chan>am not handling it wellnoo D;it's like that here too but I don't mind it much, I just stay inside and drink cold drinks >out of loneliness and becauseoh I see, well maybe talking with us will help a little with the loneliness part >scars it leaves are also quite uglI got lucky it didn't scar me at all but I can imagine it basically burns and melts into your skinwhy do you do that instead of some other form of self harm?
>>85224440>woa sounds so productive :0ehh i try to be, i always feel like i have to do something>not surprised if it's probably cold through mostly of the year where ya live huh? ^^yeahh, i mean yeah i like that theres less bugs but i really like the fact you can actually enjoy being outside in the summer and the natures a lot more beautiful too>same, they love their geometric carpetsreal lol>no dreams thoyou probably did, just forgot. thats what happens to me>wbu?slept okay, only got about 5 hours though but napped after i did some errands>D;:C>>85224446>want to eventually add people from here on discord tooim also used to discord, most people here dont exactly talk to eachother there on the daily but if you wanna be friends there sure ^^ >yeahh it definitely is too hoti saw a picture the other day of a molten traffic light in paris TwT i can only imagine>but i feel like i probably deserve intense pain so i do it anywaysyou should check out the alternatives at the top of the thread, if you feel like it
hello frenslong time no see, 4chan x fucking nuked itself or tampermonkey fucked everything up or smth so i lost ALL previous threads ive watched or participated in so yeathat suckssurprisingly ive yet to cutprobably wont in the near future eitherfirst two weeks of august ill be at my village with a few friends having fun, hopefullyi kinda feel like ive wasted my summerits nearly over and i feel like ive done nothing even though ive already visited two different islandsis this what getting older feels like?im going to stop being a teen this october and i really dread it, the future seems even less bright than what previously though "dark" past wasthat sounds kinda silly but i think you get what i meanaaaaaaaaaaaanyway ill see how stuff plays out, it cant possibly be as bad as i imagine it to be>>85217918it actually is both!and not only!https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_717https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_727https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_737https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_747https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_757https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_767https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_777https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_787_Dreamliner797 doesnt yet exist but the way boeing fukcing sucks nowdays i hope it will never existdid you know they murdered a whistleblower? also their shit isnt safe, i couldnt bother myself enough to verify but apparently the people that make these planes would never fly on them lolanyway hru cat?if u make any other threads starting and ending with 7 i think it would be fun to mention something about the planes>>85223799heya frenchie anonexcuse my curiosity but if youre okay with it id like to ask how that molten plastic felt and how you managed to get it off?was it like molten candle wax? its a sensation im really curious to feel but dont have the balls enough to actually try ithows it goin?sidenote 4chan is being a bitch and i wrote that well before the other anons replied
rurufan26 on discord if anyone wants to add me, brand new account cuz my old one has a lot of loaded history>>85224678the reason i do it is specifically because of how much it hurts, burns are always the worst kind of pain and i think i deserve the painand yeah, maybe it will help a little at least>>85224683i'm aware of the alternatives, suppose i am too self destructive to do anything other than thisdiscord will be at the top of this post, i'm just about to sleep so it may take me until i wake up to add you>>85224726molten plastic is just an intense burning sensationlike the pain you feel from touching a burning red coal, getting frying oil on you or accidentally touching the inside of an ovento get it off you either get lucky and it doesn't stick, or you get unlucky, it sticks and you either deal with the pain of ripping it off right away, or wait for it to really solidify and remove it laterits a lot more intense than molten wax, its hot enough to give you a 2nd degree burn
>>85224877>rurufan26 on discordadded>brand new account cuz..no worries>suppose i am too self destructiveah okay, well be careful nonetheless>i'm just about to sleep so..again no worries ^^ sleep well
>>85224726also hiii sisyphus, hope you're doing alr>feel like ive done nothing even though ive already visited two different islandshow were the islands?
apparently my ip is permenantely blocked for no reason at all so im forced to phonefag w/ mobile datasucks>>85224877oh damnthats oddly interesting,and terrifying in a wayanyway thanks for telling meany plans for today fren?>>85225123heya meowsterim alr enoughwatxhing hackers 1995 again while chillini visisted lefkada and crete for a week each, i really enjoyed lefkada but crete was sort of boringi think its more so me instead of the place actually being boringanyway ill see if my coming up two weeks with friends feels boring then its definitely mewhich would suckhru fren?
wanna scream waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaim feeling overwhelmed most of the time since yesterdayits sickening>>85220171>hope the studying goes smoothlythanks >wellthanks for your kind wordshow are you today?>what was it about?nothing clearbut i remember i went to a supermarket and weird things happened there>>85224280>hi remheya meowster>what youuhh wdymyou mean what subjects?if so, i study a lot of things you might think of lolnot really, just a lot of subjects without a good academic tracking
>>85225757i think french anon fell asleep>apparently my ip is permenantely blocked4chan being 4chan>watxhing hackers 1995 again while chillinidk it, whats it about?>i visisted lefkada and crete for a week each,ooo I've actually been to crete aswell>but crete was sort of boringi can get that, i liked it but i was also a child>hru fren?im good ^^ just chilling atm playing some videogames>>85225796>im feeling overwhelmed most of the time since yesterdaysorry to hear :/ hope it gets better soon rem>you mean what subjects?yeah :D>i study a lot of things you might think of lolhmmm okayy, well goodluck studying!
baamp bunp bump
>>85220035>nah :/alright, alright. again: appreciated.>i wouldn't post them if i haddon't have to, i suppose.>i don't think it's gonna be like that for longmaybe not this year, but whatever weather you get will probably just get worse, so invensting in some sort of air conditioning at some point probably won't be a bad idea.>for relaxing?for going to bed and falling asleep. don't want to wake up in the middle of the night.>worst thing ~_~ that's gonna be tiringit's ok. was only 3 bucks on steam sale. the strange thing is that it's a mech game, but most of the mechs play like absolute shit. i think it's to show how good the good mechs are in comparison, but it makes some missions a complete slog or outright unplayable. it's an inspired choice, to say the least.>>85220171>have a nice day tomorrow bud ^^thanks. didn't do any of the things i talked about. :D>maybe I'll come up with some movies or a dinosaur show x3and? could use something rn.>>85223799>i haven't seen this thread before, somehowthat's impressive at this point. welcome to the thread, anon. (^-^)>>85224280>last night i was playing cs2 then i fell asleep watching youtube.chill night. what did you watch?>hope the stream was nicei think it was. it's usually just some guys complaining about a show or game anyway. good to fall asleep to.>just a lot going on, not much time to just rest mentally i suppose, im okay thoughalright. hope you can recharge this weekend.>>85224726hi sis!>i lost ALL previous threads ive watched or participated in so yea that sucksrip sis' threads. o7>first two weeks of august ill be at my village with a few friends having fun, hopefullydo tell how it goes. made any plans?>i kinda feel like ive wasted my summerthere'll be more, don't you think?
>>85224726>ive already visited two different islandsthat's a lot more than i did. :0>that sounds kinda silly but i think you get what i meani think i do. everything feels the same and is gone in the blink of an eye.>ill see how stuff plays out, it cant possibly be as bad as i imagine it to bepeople are trying to make it that bad, that's for sure. doesn't mean you can't live your best life in spite of it.>>85225757>apparently my ip is permenantely blocked for no reason at allsame for me. strange.
>>85226917>chill night. what did you watch?something about engines then vanossgaming> it's usually just some guys complaining about a show or game anyway.hmm alright, i never really watch streams>hope you can recharge this weekend.yeahhh ^^ you too, how was ur day?
>>85226936>something about enginesout of curiosity?>then vanossgamingi'll check it out. any particular vid you'd recommend?>i never really watch streamsit's more like a streamed podcast anyway? there's either a topic they talk about or they comment on someone else's take on something. for me it's more background noise than anything else.>how was ur day?slow. no work today, but i just stayed home and basically did nothing. way to easy for me to fall into that pattern. :/ yours?
some of you might find the room I worked on today a little familiar
Sup Cat, Yua and all others. Sorry I've been absent, haven't been using 4chan much lately. Just popping in to say you guys are awesome and I love yous
>>85224683>try to be, i always feel like i have to do somethingI basically don't do anything x3>enjoy being outside in the summer and the natures a lot more beautiful tooI agree I can't to on bikerides in winter tho a walk when it's cold and you're all bundled up in warm clothes os pretty nice too>you probably did, just forgotmay be tho usually I try to remember them or note them >got about 5 hours though but napped after i did some errandsdid you have a lot of errands to do today?>>85224726hello>lost ALL previous threadsD:were you collecting them? or archiving?>few friends having fun, hopefullyglad to hear things are going well ^^>nearly over and i feel like ive done nothingsame same>future seems even less brightI do think things are getting worse just in general for everyone (most of everyone, obv people at the top don't care)>and not only!:0>did you know they murdered a whistlebloweyep heard of it >anyway hru cat?today I just worked on the map a little and chilled watch charborgs stream, he and his friend are so damn funny >would be fun to mention something about the planesor murders>>85224877>i think i deserve the painthat's unlikely but I get it Do you talk with a lot of people on discord? for me it's a confusing place>>85225757>apparently my ip is permenantely blocked??maybe dynamic?>>85225796hayo>feeling overwhelmed mostsorry about it :c>thanksdid it?>how are you today?just worked on the map little >remember i went to a supermarket and weird things happened@_@>>85226917hey yuanon!waddupp? happy about caturday tomorrow?>and? could use something rn.uuh lemmie thinkhave you heard about walking with dinosaurs? it's a classic I watched it when I was a kidor how about ice age I remember the episodes about that were very interesting I'll send you them
>>85226917herehttps://archive.org/details/walking-with-beasts/Walking+With+Beasts+Ep+6+-+Mammoth+Journey.mp4I remember that mammoth episode being cool but the rest are nice tooI actually have all the cd's irl^^
>>85227207>out of curiosity?yeahhh ^^>any particular vid you'd recommendits my fav channel, id sayyyy maybe "best moments of 2014" ^^>for me it's more background noise than anything else.hmm i feel you, i put on caseoh vods sometimes>>85227317whaaaat I have no ideaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagood job! i love it>>85227598hii twinnamon roll!you are awesome too>>85227600>I basically don't do anything x3i should try that>I agree I can't to on bikerides in winteryeahh and the roads are nicer in summer>tho a walk when it's cold and...thats truee, i like walking through forests in the winter>tho usually I try to remember them or note themi only remember if its something interesting
>>85227598hey hey!>Sorry I've been absentit's okay, just hoping you been busy having a good time>awesome and I love yousaw thanks you and you are cool and awesome too! ^^ >>85227703>>85227703>whaaaat I have no ideaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahmmmmmthough as you might notice it's a bit more round for an amazing reason >should try thatreally? you feel overworked?>roads are nicer in summertrue >walking through forests in the winterI think the only weather I'm not a fan of is when it's super hoteven heavy rain when I'm outside is better than that >remember if its something interestinI try to remember them regardless but no dice last night though I didn't sleep long toomaybe 6hours so maybe I didn't have time to start dreaming
>>85227782>bit more round for an amazing reasonwhats the reason? :0>you feel overworked?not really, since im doing stuff i like>I'm not a fan of is when it's super hoti don't like thunder or heavy rain, atleast when im outside, its cozy when inside>but no dice last nightno dice? what does that mean>maybe 6hours so maybe I didn't have time to start dreamingoof you should try to get more, im guilty of that too though
>>85227317nicely done, i think...>>85227598thanks, fren. good to see you. can't say i blame you, though. you always have a place here.>>85227600>waddupp? not much, pretty bored. just played more lost planet. i checked and it's just 11 missions, so i should be able to finish it tomorrow. >happy about caturday tomorrow?kinda, but i don't really have anything planned. hope i can force myself to work out at least.>walking with dinosaurs? it's a classic I watched it when I was a kidyou talked about it before, but i haven't checked it out. might be something for tomorrow.>>85227639thanks a lot :>>>85227703>yeahhh ^^i see. thought you might have needed some info to repair something.>best moments of 2014sounds like a blast from the past, but why not.>caseohwho's that?
>>85227953>reason? :0I wanna make lots of rooms and they all will connect to this one by being round, having a light and a suitcase you really shouldn't open, sometimes the suitcase is hidden >since im doing stuff i likebut you still would like to do nothing for a bit?>don't like thunder or heavy rainbecause it's loud?>what does that meanit basically means no luck, what I hoped for didn't happen, it's related to winning a gambling game when you have to roll a certain number with dice ^^>should try to get moreI usually do but lately I slep less and don't get sleepy the next day maybe because its hot
talked with someone i love and respect (haven't talked to in a while)i feel sad nownot only because of talking to him but a lot of things happenedalso i would've ended up in a fight a few hours ago outsidei was walking and something bad happened i don't wanna say what was it, but the guy later insulted me and walked awaylolidk if i can say it's 100% his fault. eh i don't care much about it now>>85226917>will probably just get worsehmm maybei'll try searching for that>won't be a bad ideayup>don't want to wake up in the middle of the nightoh i didn't know what time was it where you live>shitlmao reminds me of a platformer game where the worst thing in it was platforming sometimes>an inspired choicei still don't know how you can just sit there determined to finish it ~_~>>85227600>sorry about it:D>did it?yep>just worked on the mapoh i noticed you posted a pic of whitespacewas that it?
>>85228035>, i think...thanks ^^>not much, pretty boredbut still no time to paint minis? or you're feeling too tired>really have anything plannedmaybe make a list and force yourself to do it for one day>force myself to work outis ir supposed to be hot?>might be something for tomorrowno rush ^^
>>85228095>i feel sad now not only because of talking to him but a lot of things happenedwhy? what's going on?>i would've ended up in a fight a few hours ago outsidegood that you didn't. it's just not worth it.>i'll try searching for thatgood luck. stuff is kinda expensive right now.>oh i didn't know what time was it where you livei live in germany, so my time zone is cest atm>reminds me of a platformer game where the worst thing in it was platforming sometimeshappens more often than you think, but i have no clue why.>i still don't know how you can just sit there determined to finish it ~_~too lethargic to do anything else. it helped me to kill some time today.>>85228120>but still no time to paint minis? or you're feeling too tiredjust didn't feel like it today. or like doing anything else for that matter. just wasn't a good day.>maybe make a list and force yourself to do it for one dayhm. that might help, but too tired to do it now>is ir supposed to be hot?i don't know. haven't checked yet.going to sleep now. good night.
nyap time>>85228095>talked with someone i love and respecthow did that happen?>feel sad nowdang :/>but the guy later insulted me and walked awaythat's very annoying but it's water under the bridge so yea nor reasons to caresomething similar happened to me not long ago too>:Dhm?>yepyay \o/>posted a pic of whitespace>was that it?yuppdon't take a lot of work heh>>85228315>just wasn't a good dayhappens>but too tired to do it nowit's also lateshould get some sleep soon >haven't checked yethopefully not thenit's supposed to be nice here on cunday>going to sleep nowgoodnight
>>85217795>>How are you doing today?Ass>>Any plans for today?Not a plan but I guess Im gonna hurt myself as usual.>>When was the last time you hurt yourself?Today.>>Why did you hurt yourself?Anxiety and self hatred.>>Is there anything bothering you right now?Life.
>>85217795>>How are you doing today?glad work is over.>>Any plans for today?I'm gonna write this weekend>>Is there anything bothering you right now?I think I left work too early and my foreman is gonna yell at me on monday. I don't know why i care. If i'm fired, I'm fired at this point.
slept and woke up and because my bed is my pc chair i don't even need to physically get upwonder if it'll be a starve myself day or eat too much day>>85225757i don't have plans, i never do, my days are all the same>>85226917i don't go on /r9k/ a lot so i suppose it's hardly a surprise i haven't seen itthis place is calmer than i would have expected, it's pleasant>>85227600i do talk to a lot of people on discord, it's a significant portion of what i do every dayhow is it confusing to you?i'm rather curious
>>85228315>>85228411goodnight guyys
>>85228035>thought you might have needed some info to repair something.nahhh i havent messed with engines yet, just the other stuff>blast from the past, but why not.old but gold yk>who's that?guy who streams videogames and whatnot, he started a few years ago, maybe 2/3? hes pretty popular now iirc.>>85228094>and a suitcase you really shouldn't openim opening the suitcase>but you still would like to do nothing for a bit?i guess, i dont like stress and i feel like im easily stressed>because it's loud?i guess? i like the ambient sounds of it, feels more real than a recording too>what I hoped for didn't happen,ahh okay>when you have to roll a certain number with dice ^^hmm okay okay :]>I slep less and don't get sleepy the next daymaybe because you're getting used to it? either way try to get more if you can :] not trying to pester you though>maybe because its hotprobably, you sleep better in the cold, ive heard the body needs to lose like 1 celsius of heat to fall asleep, idk tho>>85228095>but the guy later insulted me and walked awaysorry to hear, hope his pillow is warm
>>85228425sorry to hear anon>guess Im gonna hurt myself as usual.be careful if you do, and make sure to disinfect it and take care of it properly>self hatred.why do you hate yourself?>>85228459hii cynic>glad work is overhow was it?>gonna write this weekendwhatcha gonna write? :0>>85228574>my bed is my pc chairis that comfortable?>wonder if it'll be a starve myself day or eat too much dayi usually skip food for the first part of the day and then when i eat im full before bed, either way try to eat something if you can>i don't go on /r9k/ a lot sothat probably explains it, i myself only go on here so>would have expected, it's pleasantit's a nice little corner ^^any plans for tonight?think this is my last post for today so goodnight
>>85228803i mean that in the sense that i go on the pc whilst sitting on my bedi don't really choose when i eati do it depending on my moodhonestly i don't even go on 4chan much nowadays, though i suppose i'm changing thatmy plan is to not have too bad of a night reallysweet dreams!
latee af bump
another late bump see where this night takes us
im kinda scared i wont wake up tomorrow but i know if i don't it'll be for the best. this place was always a beacon of hope for me, so thanks for that everyone.
>>85230995>wont wake up tomorrow butwhy?
>>85230995>if i don't it'll be for the best.i don't believe that's true and hope you do wake up.
>>85228803>be careful if you do, and make sure to disinfect it and take care of it properlyI always do. I have countless scars by now and none have been infected. Doctor tells me I take good care of them, though she prefers if I'd visit the ER after I do so they can sow them. But it is what it is.>why do you hate yourself?Good question. As I tell the therapist; if I knew I'd do something about it. I just think I'm a piece of shit who deserves nothing good.
>>85231831>Doctor tells me I take good care of themthat's good :]>But it is what it is.yeahh>if I knew I'd do something about it.ahhh okay makes sense>I just think I'm a piece of shit who deserves nothing good.sorry to hear that anon, i hope ur situation improves
time for a bump !!!!
Is it wrong that foids with cuts make my pp really hard? I don't wanna add anymore cuts to them, but I do think it's hot.
wen't for a workout outside by myself and it was fun. hope everyone has a good day.>>85228459>glad work is over.damned if you do, damned if you don't. :[>I'm gonna write this weekendgood luck, fren. o7>I think I left work too early and my foreman is gonna yell at me on monday. I don't know why i care. If i'm fired, I'm fired at this point.job's dragging you down?>>85228574>slept and woke up and because my bed is my pc chair i don't even need to physically get upsounds like a comfy set up. i'm thinking about lowering my desk so i can just sit on the ground.>wonder if it'll be a starve myself day or eat too much daymade a decision yet?>my days are all the samei feel that. for me every week kinda goes the same.>i don't go on /r9k/ a lot so i suppose it's hardly a surprise i haven't seen itah, that makes sense. we've been at it for a while now. glad you found your way here then.>this place is calmer than i would have expected, it's pleasantit is. catbro has a calm vibe that people just adapt to.>>85228759>i havent messed with engines yet, just the other stuffengines are way too complex now for a lot of diy fixes, i feel. what have you tinkered with before?>old but gold yksure. half of the things i say is how i like old thing more than new thing. (^-^;)>maybe 2/3? hes pretty popular nowthat's not even that long ago, is it? guess he must do something right then. might check him out, but i have to admit that i don't do well with the real popular ones and when someone gets too big, i often lose interest. was watching a lot of this streamer collective, but since they got more popular and added more streamers to their roster it just started to feel corporate. lots of product placements and paid content now. i mean, i get it, but i don't have to like it. :[gator says hi, btw.
nothing but fatigue all day longi will sleep now even if it's a weird time to sleep>>85233263i think having a kink isn't a big deal, just be nice about it and never ever make someone cut for you>>85233818it's comfy but i think it is giving me back problemsoh wellalso i didn't starve myself nor overeati ate normal ish
>>85233818hi yuanon>job's dragging you down?It was always gonna be temperay. Construction jobs go until they no longer need you. I don't understand why anyone around me would take it serisously. >>85228803hi meow>how was it?just another week of doing bullshit.>whatcha gonna write? :0I wanna write this sci fi book about a panopticon prison planet and a hunt for an interstellar killer.
>>85234167>think having a kink isn't a big deal, just be nice about it and never ever make someone cut for you What if I asked her to let me cum on them?
>>85234167>nothing but fatigue all day longi'm feeling the exact same way when i don't start the day with something productive. usually a few small exercises help. if i don't, i just laze around and feel awful the whole day.>i will sleep now even if it's a weird time to sleephave a nice nap and maybe see you later.>i think it is giving me back problemsyeah. since i got my pc i also have more back issues. damn slouching.>also i didn't starve myself nor overeat i ate normal ishharder than it sounds, so well done.>>85234221>Construction jobs go until they no longer need you. I don't understand why anyone around me would take it serisously.i guess a lot of them want to be hired for the next job. maybe just try to do the bare minimum to not get screamed at? ^^'
hello guys !>>85228425hey anon>Asssorry to hear about thatwhat sort of bad things happened?>>85228459hay cynic >glad work is overgrr damn work>gonna write this weekendgonna post it somewhere? what is it gonna be able?>left work too earlywelp, happens>>85228574>slept and woke up andhopefully you weren't too uncomfortable on that chair>starve myself day or eat too much daywhich one was it?>how is it confusing to you?>i'm rather curiousI don't know desu I think I like how simple 4chan and it's layout it and maybe I just don't like 1on1 conversations? I'm not sure I just know I don't like using dc>>85228759>im opening the suitcasedoont D:>dont like stress and i feel like im easily stressedanything stressful happened today?>because you're getting used to it? I don't think so >try to get more if you can :] yessir ^^7>not trying to pester you thoughit's nice of u to care>you sleep better in the colddefinitely I like when it's really cold>>85233263>don't wanna add anymore cuts tothat's good I think it's alright if you don't activity encourage someone to hurt themselves >>85233818hello yuanon!what did you ro today?I think I may watch a movie now or maybe some anime? maybe watamoe>workout outside by myself and it was fun. hope\o/>>85234167>now even if it's a weird time to sleepsleep well ^^hopefully it helps you to feel better
>>85234409hellooo catbro! :D>what did you ro today?not much. just got some groceries and after that did my workout and then watched some vids. might finish lost planet later. you?>I think I may watch a movie now or maybe some anime? maybe watamoenice way to spend the evening. tell what you think about that show. looks like a lot of cringe-inducing humor.>\o/pretty much this, but with a heavy bag. felt good getting out again.
>>85233263sounds like a kink, its fine as long as you don't promote more harm>>85233818>wen't for a workout outsidenicee how was it? and how was your day?>engines are way too complexreal>what have you tinkered with before?i guess the most complex I've done is changing clock springs and wheel bearings.>is how i like old thing more than new thing.lol i can relate>not even that long ago, is it?not really be blew up pretty quickly>started to feel corporate.awh that's unfortunate>gator says hi, btw.hiii gator!!! ^^ hope ur day is awesome>>85234167>i will sleep now sleep well>i ate normal ishwell done ^^>>85234221>another week of doing bullshit.ah okay>this sci fi book about a panopticon prison planetsounds cool ^^, whats the killer gonna be like?>>85234409hiii cat!>doont D:fineeee>anything stressful happened today?nah yesterday was chill ^^>yessir ^^7at ease>it's nice of u to care^^>I like when it's really coldsameeehow was ur day cat?
decided to watch chainsmoking cata catgirl is doing heroine, makes me wanna rewatch trainspotting again there was also a trainspotting reference with diving into the toilet
>>85234351>maybe just try to do the bare minimum to not get screamed atyeah that's basically my plan now.how was your btw>>85234409hello cat>gonna post it somewhere? idk, I just wanna do it.>what is it gonna be able?A sci fi detective story>>85234858>decided to watch chainsmoking catnever heard of it. does it make you wanna chainsmoke?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=firtiWWyvTIcool musik >>85234693>not much. just got some groceries and after that did my workout and then watched some vids. sounds like a good chill day >might finish lost planet later. you?>like a lot of cringe-inducing humor.as long as it makes me feel something I'm satisfied (embarrassment is an emotion too)>but with a heavy bagIl------lI..\o/..I should do some excercises too>>85234699>fineeeeyou don't wanna know what's inside >nah yesterday was chill ^^what abt today?? >at easephew me right arm was getting tired >sameeesometimes it makes me wake up with a throat ache tho>how was ur day cat?chill maping and anime watching just like god intended wbu?
>>85235059>just wanna do it.it's nice your have a drive to do things just for the hell if it>sci fi detective storysounds cool nice do you use anything as reference when writing?>never heard of it.it just popped out somewhere and i decided it looks interesting > does it make you wanna chainsmoke?no, I'm immune to propaganda :3
>>85217795Does mental abuse count as self harm? Done that for years on and off but the last 2 years it has been all day every day. Last made myself bleed several years ago, but feel like I need it now, desu.
hallucinating a bit, not good>>85234250same applies, just be tactful>>85234351well, i didn't sleep, i layed in bed doing nothing butdaydreaming?daynightmaring?that's not a termyou get the picture though>>85234409i feel worse, but its ok>>85235207what do you mean by mental abuse?
>>85234699>nicee how was it? and how was your day?exhausting, but good. too hot for the jog i did after it, though. more of a walk in the end, but i'll just file that under recovery. rest of the day was chill. just watched some vids and streams, like that best of vid you recommended. was fun.>realmaybe we should go back to horses or flintstone drive. that would make things a lot easier to deal with.>lol i can relatei'm really trying to enjoy present day, but man, it's a challenge.>be blew up pretty quicklymust mean he's doing things right, but also got lucky at exactly the right moment. good for him.>that's unfortunatejust how it goes. i'm used to jumping ship at this point.>>85234858>decided to watch chainsmoking catsaw that on /a/. can't say i get it, but just not my humor/culture, i suppose. how is it?>>85235059>yeah that's basically my plan now.best you can do in your situation, i think. good luck out there.>how was your btwalright. got groceries, worked out, had a nice walk and now i'm chilling, listening to some people complain about the new spider man movie. yours?>>85235068>cool musiklistening...>sounds like a good chill dayit was. no complains on my part. maybe i ate a bit too much, but that's all.>as long as it makes me feel something I'm satisfied (embarrassment is an emotion too)i really can't deal with that, but i never could, so no surprise there. hope it makes you feel something, though.>I should do some excercises toothat's more like it. :> how are your pushups going?>>85235350>i layed in bed doing nothing but daydreaming daynightmaring? that's not a termit is now. what were you daynightmaring about?
>>85235207hello >mental abuse count as self harm? if you do it to yourself and it's harmful ye>feel like I need it now, desu.why? what's been going on anon?>>85235350>hallucinating a bit, not gooduh ohsleep deprivation?>feel worse, but its okcrapwhat are you gonna do now?>>85235363>can't say i get itit's wierd but I don't mind wierd>listening...verdict?>complains on my part. maybe i ate a bit too much, but that's all.hopefully tomorrow is just as good ^^any plans?>really can't deal with that,>that's more like it. :> how are your pushups going?still doing a 100 but I'm trying to do 50 in one go tho usually it's more like first 40+10 then 30+20
>>85235934>it's wierd but I don't mind wierdenjoy the weird then>verdict?i like it. reminds me of these songs i uses to listen to.https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVgz-NOG7IwoREedzvWQuWmr_Ay-X03KK>hopefully tomorrow is just as good ^^any plans?thank you. i'll try cleaning my place. it's about time.>still doing a 100 but I'm trying to do 50 in one go tho usually it's more like first 40+10 then 30+20still an impressive amount. you'll definitely get there if you keep that up.
>>85235363i was thinking of the same things i always do, hurting myself, being in some way hurtbad things>>85235934nah the hallucinations are just, something that happens to mei'm not diagnosed with anything but i definitely have somethingthey're constant mild visual and auditory hallucinations, that get very intense on occasionrn i'm just kinda doing nothing
>>85236092>i was thinking of the same things i always do, hurting myself, being in some way hurt bad thingsi get like that sometimes, too. self-deprecating thoughts coming and going forever. how do you get hurt?
>>85236079>enjoy the weird thenenjoy doesn't entirely fit hahahabut thanks ^w^>songs i uses to listen to.:000000whole playlist thanks!>i'll try cleaning my place. it's about timegood ideaI should do some cleaning tooI general just let the wind wipe the dust for me xwx>you'll definitely get there if you keep that up.I just took a break before hot also I watched that anime then charged my phone and worked a little on a desert level and took a quick shower and I'm back to watching I'm feeling good today >>85236092>constant mild visual and auditorycould you describe some? I usually see things like if there's a dark small spot on a wall if I don't focus on it it might start skittering around like a spider Or if I'm taking a bus somewhere when it stops I can see the asphalt road beneath flow like a river, it's strange I do often have auditory ones tho>very intense on occasioncan be scary >rn i'm just kinda doing nothingis there anything you'd like to do?
>>85234858there's a kerfus for some reason there's tons of little references all the time
>>85236192>whole playlist thanksdo tell if you something good. i only ever listened to vol. 1 and 2. found these lists years later.>I general just let the wind wipe the dust for me xwxi collect most of it under my bed. there's a whole dust zoo under there.>I'm feeling good todayas you should. espscially after working on a desert level. those are always the best.i'll try to get some sleep now. good night, everyone.
>>85236271that's an oddly specific reference.
>>85236154i think of sexual abuse being done to me, like a lot>>85236192whatever i'm not focusing on turns into these weird multi colored spirals and the auditory ones are usually just hard to make out wordswhen it gets bad though i see people from the corner of my eye or just see an epillectic mess of colors and i hear screaming
>>85235068>you don't wanna know what's insideyuh uh i do>what abt today??todays been chill, had fun and drinking now>makes me wake up with a throat achethats unfortunate, dont wanna get sick>wbu?my day was good so far ^^>>85235350>hallucinating a bityou have hallucinations? Can i ask what kind they are>>85235363>was fun.awesome ^^ >would make things a lot easier to deal with.true but also slow>good for him.yeah hes a good guy, and he blew up like, immediately>i'm used to jumping ship at this point.Still unfortunate>>85236400>think of sexual abuse being done to methats not too weird, happens to me too>weird multi colored spiralsWoah that sounds trippy>see people from the corner of my eyeThat sounds a little spooky
>>85236374>tell if you something goodoky>there's a whole dust zoo under there.dust elephants> are always the best.older games loved those or similar wastelands I guess it's because you don't need to worry about grass of other complicated to render nature stuff sleep well fren>>85236387it's a cat ig>>85236400>these weird multi colored spiralsstrange I wonder what causes thathay always been like that?>epillectic mess of colors and i hear screamingcan you distinguish between those and real life?>>85236783>yuh uh i dohaha^^ nuh uh I made it that if you open it it crashes the game I could even make it that it nmesses up your game and you have to reinstall >had fun and drinking nowwoowhatcha drinking >dont wanna get sickactually it doesn't make me sick after I wake up and warm yp it's all good eep time gn
>>85237050>even make it that it n messes up your gameurhm.. no thank you ^^>whatcha drinkingjust straight vodkaits the only thing i drink>doesn't make me sick after I wake up and warm upah okay nvm then>eep timegoodnight ^^ sleep well!
bumppp !!!???!also fuck my life
I wish I could cut deeperwhenever I have long breaks, it takes forever to actually build up the ability to cut deeper again, it makes me feel pathetic. barely making it to the dermis
>>85238763oh forgot pic of
i do not like how often i need to disinfect my arm>>85237050it has not always been like this, started happening when i was 21 roughly, i'm 26 nowi can distinguish my hallucinations from real life with no issue, thankfully
>>85235350I'll constantly call myself some kind of cunt, bring up every mistake I've made. It's non stop, all day every day. I can't stop, it's like I need it. I can't let myself get away with hurting people (not done on purpose, I'm just a bit fucked in the head from childhood, bullying a sexual thing, just messed with me. And still fuck up. My words don't seem to do it justice, but I hate myself, have done since childhood, and I'm 40+ now.>>85235934I've got something called multiple sclerosis, it's ruining my body and strength, and thinking more about what should have been. There was a girl I was falling in love with, but I don't know what to do when I like somebody, and messed it up with her, really messed it up, hurt her, and I saw her again recently (she ran away from me), and since then I've not been able to stop thinking of what should have been and how I ruined it and any chance, but mainly I hurt her, by not knowing how to show somebody I love them.Then it opens the floodgates to all other feelings.As with the other anon, this feels like it isn't doing justice to how I feel. Probably shows how pointless it is, and I just make it worse.
buumlpp omo
>>85238763>>85238764>I wish I could cut deeperNo you do not. Deeper cuts never fully heal and will leave you malformed for the rest of your life.Are you talking to anyone professionally about this?I would tell you to stop cutting, but I know I didnt listen when people told me: so instead try to clean as much as possible with antiseptic solution. Use clean tools, clean the skin before, put bandaid over the scars, etc.Take care of yourself, anon.
>>85236400>i think of sexual abuse being done to me, like a lotlike fantasies or things that happened to you?>>85236783>but also slowisn't everyone about slowing down these days?>hes a good guypeople are in dire need for that, it seems.>Still unfortunatetrue. i wish i had things i could enjoy forever, but just not how it goes. anything you wish you could go back to but can't?>>85237050>dust elephantsexactly. ^^>I guess it's because you don't need to worry about grass of other complicated to render nature stuffnever thought about that, but makes a lot of sense. still peak comfy.>it's a cat igyeah, but these exist only in poland, right? then again, it is a cat robot, so they must be quite popular on social media.
>>85217795good morning cat>How are you doing today? very relaxed, sleepy.>Any plans for today?gonna cook a big dinner for the house. I've been hyping it up for days I hope it lands.>When was the last time you hurt yourself?yesterday>Is there anything bothering you right now?First doc appointment coming up soon after picking up this habit. Not exactly sure what will happen desu.
>>85240163thanks anonI've definitely been treating the cuts, even tho it feels like overkillI just hate feeling so lame having such weak cuts>Deeper cuts never fully heal and will leave you malformed for the rest of your lifeI already have those, I just wish I could get back to that. I cut on my thighs so disfigurement is worth it
>>85239298i think you kinda get how i feel>>85240473yeah, i was sexually abused, a lot, as a kid, also as an adult, so i just kinda default to that when i feel bad
>>85241766Have you spoken to a professional about this?
>>85242047>sometimesGood.>my current therapist is dumb as a brickmaybe once I get a new oneHope you do. But from experience you have to know the limitations of a therapist. If you are average or even slightly below average in cognitive capacity you can reason yourself to the reason you hurt yourself. And a therapist can't help with more than that. Maybe give you distress techniques (which you can find on the internet in 5 minutes).
>>85241892>i was sexually abused, a lot, as a kid, also as an adultsorry you had to suffer that.>i just kinda default to that when i feel badi see. any idea why that is?
goodmorning everyoneee hope you're having a good day>>85217795>How are you doing today?im doing pretty bad but okay right now>Any plans for today?play games, drink, idk desu>When was the last time you hurt yourself?earlier today>Why did you hurt yourself?stressed and was dissapointed at myself>>85240473>isn't everyone about slowing down these days?i really dont have a clue these days>are in dire need for that, it seemsi guess so >anything you wish you could go back to but can't?a lot of stuff, mostly stuff i wish i could change or remove>>85241273>gonna cook a big dinnerwhatcha gonna cook? ^^>after picking up this habit.habit as in sh?
>>85242128>play games, drink, idk desuGot any favorites to share? >whatcha gonna cook? ^^Buffalo Mac and cheese with pulled pork.>habit as in sh?was vague, yeah. I cut.
>>85217795Me, I like the A380.I just got back from my trip to another convention. We tried cosplaying for the first time and got asked for a few pictures (including from someone in an identical outfit) so my ego has been sufficiently stroked. It was very fun, even if I look quite depressed in all of my photos...Hope you're all doing well, or if not I hope things pick up!>>85219226>>85219229This is very well made! Looks very close to the actual game.>>85223799I hope you can get something out of the thread, anon. Enjoy your time here.>>85224726>im going to stop being a teen this october and i really dread it, the future seems even less bright than what previously though "dark" past wasI think that just kind of happens around that age. I think your early 20s generally suck for most people, but my thoughts started calming down a lot around 25 and I seemed to get a lot of my optimism back in the years after that. I'm much less of a doomer in my late 20s than I was at like 23 despite coming pretty close to topping myself not even a year ago. I'm not sure what changed but I dwell and ruminate on stuff a lot less often.I guess that's a roundabout way of saying hang in there since it gets easier.>>85227317This looks familiar but I can't place why. Is it Omori? Should I play it one day?>>85233818Did you see anything neat on your walk?>>85234858>makes me wanna rewatch trainspotting againhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPW75GuP-QU>>85242128What games are on the docket today?
>>85242128good morning!>hope you're having a good daynot gonna lie. could be better.>i really dont have a clue these daysfair. me neither. i'm just an outsider looking in and don't get it at all.>i guess soat least i am. hard to find genuine people online.>a lot of stuff, mostly stuff i wish i could change or removelike what? at this point i'm convinced that things couldn't have gone differently, so i'm not that hung up about it. though dealing with the consequences still ruins my day from time to time.>>85242236>Buffalo Mac and cheese with pulled porkwouldn't complain about that rn. ^^>>85242265hi dinon!>We tried cosplaying for the first time and got asked for a few picturessounds like it went great. :D>even if I look quite depressed in all of my photos...i've never figured out how to produce a natural smile on camera. always looks extremely forced. really can't stand having pictures taken of me because of that. :/>I hope things pick up!would be nice.>Did you see anything neat on your walk?saw lots of dried out grass and heard a lot of crickets. on the one hand i really like it, on the other it always produces a vague sense of unease and a sinking feeling in my stomach.
>>85242236>Got any favorites to share?game wise it'll probably be cs2, as long as i do well since i dont have anyone to play with. drink wise just vodka and some soda>Buffalo Mac and cheese with pulled pork.sounds like they'll like it>was vague, yeah. I cut.why'd you start?>>85242265cs2 or some roblox game idk yet, or minecrafthii disc anon :]>>85242429>not gonna lie. could be better.sorry to hear that yuanon, whats up?>hard to find genuine people online.real>like what?just traumatic events from my childhood >though dealing with the consequences still ruins my day from time to time.i feel youany plans for today?
>>85242486>whats up?can't talk about the reason, but i'm feeling hollow and shaky today. been a while since i felt like that.>just traumatic events from my childhoodmust be hard living with those memories.>any plans for today?no. wanted to do some chores, but didn't even do those. just waiting for it to be late enough that i can go to bed. do you?
>>85242486>game wise it'll probably be cs2, as long as i do well since i dont have anyone to play with. drink wise just vodka and some sodahaven't played CS much but I love watching my friend play it. I know how it feels playing solo though. Also a simple mix is always nice, I hope it's good.>sounds like they'll like iti killed it, they loved it!>why'd you start?still unpacking that. I don't have an easy answer.>>85242429>not gonna lie. could be better.sorry to hear, wish I could cook for you as well.
didn't write much. spent my time on interview prep and went down a rabbit hole of what laptop I should get.>>85235363>listening to some people complain about the new spider man movie.I don't understand why people watch these in theathers. They're usually just as good on a tv. >yours?my dog either killed or found a dead scunk. Everything stinks now. Other then that, it's been fine. >>85235094>it just popped out somewhere and i decided it looks interestingI saw it on garnts video. looks interesting. downloading anime has been a hassle tho. I'm not sure if i should just get cruncyroll subscription.
>>85242897>sorry to hear, wish I could cook for you as well.i appreciate the thought. :> no worries, though.>>85243168hey cynic!>didn't write much. spent my time on interview prep and went down a rabbit hole of what laptop I should get.also a good use of your time. have you decided on one? how did your writing go?>I don't understand why people watch these in theathers. They're usually just as good on a tv.pretty much. i saw that the new he-man movie is already on prime. must have bombed quite bad. cinema is a really hard sell for me these days. super expensive experience to watch a movie that's mediocre when you're lucky.>my dog either killed or found a dead scunkmust have been the best day of his life so far.>Everything stinks now. Other then that, it's been fine.damn. good luck getting the stink out of your place. glad that that's as bad as it gets, though.
>>85242429Hi Yuanon>sounds like it went great. :DI'd say it was a success. The only bad thing was learning just how bad my eyesight has become when I don't wear glasses.>i've never figured out how to produce a natural smile on cameraI look really awkward in almost every picture I'm in. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing wrong either, I just look off.In retrospect I probably should have come up with some more expressive poses yesterday since half my face was covered by a mask.>would be niceI'm rooting for you!>a vague sense of unease and a sinking feeling in my stomachI think on some kind of primordial level seeing dead things is supposed to unsettle you a bit, since it could be diseased and that might get you if you're not careful.>>85242486>cs2 or some roblox game idk yet, or minecraftHave fun with whatever you pick.Incidentally I remembered a story from a friend who worked in real estate. Some teen had made a lot of money from making Roblox games and I think was trying to get a mortgage, but wasn't able to get one because he didn't have a fixed income.Really crazy to me that it's so big now. It must have been at least 16 years since I last played it.>hii disc anon :]Hello Meowster
>>85242703>can't talk about the reason, but i'm feeling hollow and shaky today.okay well i hope you feel better soon ^^>must be hard living with those memories.its fine as long as im not remindedsometimes ill just feel so dirty and it just wont go away> just waiting for it to be late enough that i can go to bedsounds like a chill day ^^ you deserve it>do you?play some games then be w friends later>>85242897>I know how it feels playing solo though.yeahh i play with randoms mostly but sometimes it gets weird>I hope it's good.its okay^^ gets you drunk and tastes alright>i killed it, they loved it!well done!!! ^^>still unpacking that.dw theres no urgency to know it or anything, hope ur alr though
Have any of you been in a psych ward? When I was there I started developing feelings for the good looking nurses. Nobody has ever paid attention to me and there did not only nurses, but the good looking ones (yes yes I know it's just their job but my brain doesnt care about that) paid attention to me and supported me, tried to help me, etc).
>>85241892>i think you kinda get how i feelIt wasn't really anything bad for me, just weird to a 9yr old, snd it was only an older girl, not a man or anything.
>>85243296>Have fun with whatever you pick.i picked cs2, playing tf2 now though>It must have been at least 16 years since I last played it.woah thats the early days>Hello Meowsterhiii disc, hru? ^^
>>85243296>I'd say it was a success. which cosplay did you end up going for? did the one you ordered arrive on time?>The only bad thing was learning just how bad my eyesight has become when I don't wear glasses.man, my eyesight is also really bad. i think you can improve it a bit with diet and certain exercises, but who does those?>I look really awkward in almost every picture I'm in.maybe that's just self-perception, but i'm not so sure about that. maybe we just become hyper-aware of the situation and ruin it somehow? maybe you can ask your girlfriend to take some sneaky pictures without you noticing and compare the result?>should have come up with some more expressive posesvery important lesson for the next con.>I'm rooting for you!root root! (*^*)9>on some primordial level seeing dead things is supposed to unsettle you a bityou're probably right. might also be an old defense mechanism so you're more alert and don't get eaten by a sneaky lion in the savannah. ^^ that no one else was around really didn't help. maybe it's similar to the uncanny valley effect in that regard. i'm pretty sure that's a leftover from the times when other hominids were around.>>85243347>i hope you feel better soon ^^thank you. i think i just need some time.>sometimes ill just feel so dirty and it just wont go awaythat makes sense. weirdly reminds me of this story about contamination and corruption, but i'm not going to bother you with that now. i hope the feeling will get weaker over time.>play some games then be w friends laterhave a good time!
>>85243353>Have any of you been in a psych ward?some anons have. friend of mine wasn't in a ward, but a sort of rehab. he talked to a woman there that developed an obsession with him and he himself asked out the therapist of his therapy group (after it got cancelled). i think it's a very common thing, but as long as you are aware, you should be able to manage it. you'll get used to the attention eventually.
I planned to be productive today but everything turned out to take longer than expected ..but it's okay I messed around in the garage, sewed up a hole in my pants and messed around in the editor a bit, just generally made some assets and made this little scene that's a reference to gta sa How are you guys?>>85243168>downloading anime has been a hassle tho.heya I'd watched it for free on the internet here https://www.wcoflix.tv/anime/chainsmoker-cat/?season=all&lang=subHave fun, tho it likes being a bit gross sometimes so be prepared >cruncyroll subscriptionNEVER!
