chronic loneliness should be considered a medical condition. it cripples me in all aspects of my life.
>>85262601Truke, brother. May we find nice friends again like that one time in childhood
>>85262619>like that one time in childhoodi never had friends during childhood either. anytime i got remotely close to someone, their parents would end up getting a business offer overseas and they'd uproot the entire family to move there and i'd never see that person again afterwards. i swear this happened at least five times while i was growing up.
>>85262601Can't you make an online friend or two to distract yourself from the loneliness?
>>85262838i'd love to, i even posted in that /r9k/ themed /soc/ thread, but to no avail. i also struggle to think what my potential friend and i would converse about long-term. every one of my days is a repeat of the previous one. on a darker note, i'd feel too bad talking to someone who is way better off in life than i am because i'm petty and jealous like that. but also because i've had people in the past who only kept me around in order to feel better about themselves. it wasn't pleasant to deal with that every day. they were putting on a fake nice act towards me just so they could push me down and get some sort of schadenfreude from seeing how awful my life could get compared to theirs. but that's going off-topic. i'd appreciate making some good online friends, but the stars would have to align just right for us to click and get along long-term.
>>85262877Are you the Romanian anon? What happened to that tall girl you were talking to? Having a nice lady to chat with sounds like it'd be quite enjoyable. You're highly unlikely to find anyone you'd be able to get along with on /soc/. >they were putting on a fake nice act towards me just so they could push me down and get some sort of schadenfreude from seeing how awful my life could get compared to theirsThese are the types of people you will encounter on /soc/ in my limited experience trying to befriend people there.
>>85262949>Are you the Romanian anon?yes, it's never anyone else posting about loneliness because this board is full of fakecels. just pay attention to how ungodly slow the board gets during weekends. >What happened to that tall girl you were talking to?i feel frustrated with myself because both physically and personality-wise, she is everything i could ever possibly want out of a woman. but for whatever reason i feel this huge sense of disconnect when we talk. talking to her doesn't come to me naturally and i'm not sure why. that instant "click" that was supposed to happen between us just isn't happening even though it should. i don't know if it's just me being mentally ill or something else. >You're highly unlikely to find anyone you'd be able to get along with on /soc/.trust me, i know. i despise /soc/ as much as everyone else here. the only reason i felt compelled to post in that thread was specifically because it was an /r9k/ themed thread and i was hoping to meet other /r9k/ people. >These are the types of people you will encounter on /soc/ in my limited experience trying to befriend people there.exactly. the board made specifically for socialization is, ironically enough, the absolute worst place to meet people on this entire forum. people on /soc/ are socialized to death. they see social interactions as disposable toys they can throw away when they get bored. if you fail to keep them entertained for too long, they'll go back and add 10 other people to replace you with. forming bonds is meaningless to the /soc/ mind. every interaction needs to be an instant dopamine hit and nothing else. in my experience, /r9k/ people value people a lot more because most of them are very lonely just like me, so when they meet a person, they want to hold onto them for as long as possible and actually try to connect with them on a deeper level. but yeah, /soc/ is godawful unless you live in a popular area, maybe, and are able to meet up with someone asap.
>>85263028>pay attention to how ungodly slow the board gets during weekendsYeah I noticed this, it used to be so much faster. Lame. >talking to her doesn't come to me naturally and i'm not sure why. that instant "click" that was supposed to happen between us just isn't happening even though it should. i don't know if it's just me being mentally ill or something else.I'd say it's probably your mental illness. If she is still talking to you there's something between you two that makes you able to get along to some degree. Maybe you're subconsciously setting up mental blocks to prevent yourself from getting too close since you're afraid of getting hurt, or it could be from you getting too used to being alone and only socializing on here anonymously. From what you've mentioned about yourself on threads here it sounds a bit like your bpd or whatever else you've got causes you to unintentionally sabotage things and then you regret it later on after it's too late. I remember you mentioning being stuck in your own head, overthinking, getting into these negative thought loops so you could be imaging problems where there are none.>the only reason i felt compelled to post in that thread was specifically because it was an /r9k/ themed thread and i was hoping to meet other /r9k/ peopleThat's somewhat promising, maybe you will get added by a few decent people. >/r9k/ people value people a lot more because most of them are very lonely just like me, so when they meet a person, they want to hold onto them for as long as possible and actually try to connect with them on a deeper levelIt does feel a lot better talking to someone who is lonely and isn't constantly adding and dropping people like most on /soc/ are doing. I've given up so all I do is wageslave and sleep, I use this place as my only way of having meaningful social interactions outside of detached forced small talk at work. At least you're still trying to make connections and haven't totally given up.
>>85263125>Maybe you're subconsciously setting up mental blocks to prevent yourself from getting too close since you're afraid of getting hurtthat could be a huge part of it. i had a falling out with someone i loved very dearly a while ago, and i've been afraid to become attached to people to the same extent ever since it happened. i want to move on and start over with someone else, but that person is still living in my head rent free. it's difficult. >your bpd or whatever else you've got causes you to unintentionally sabotage things and then you regret it later on after it's too late. i've always been this way, sadly. whenever something good happens in my life, i start to become uncomfortable. i'm not used to anything good happening ever. my brain starts telling me this isn't normal and i should throw it all away. it tells me it's all a ruse, or that someone wants to get something out of me. i'm just not used to any amount of positivity in my life. if it doesn't hurt, it doesn't feel real. >At least you're still trying to make connections and haven't totally given up.if i were to give up on making connections, then there'd be nothing left to my life. it's not like i enjoy doing anything else anymore. i'm hoping that connecting will people will help me regain my spark and create a positive feedback loop that'll set me on the right track. besides, i'd like to make memories with people while i'm still somewhat youthful. i'm already bitter enough for missing out on doing anything cool or worthwhile during the supposed best years of my life. best i can do is bruteforce my way into making memories with people from this point onward. that's all that really matters to me in life anymore. but naturally, it does feel like loneliness is a life sentence that you can't escape from once you reach a certain age. it feels more daunting and oppressive every day. but i'll never be truly happy being all alone. that's the truth. i can't lie to myself and pretend i'm content.
>>85263216>i had a falling out with someone i loved very dearly a while ago, and i've been afraid to become attached to people to the same extent ever since it happened. i want to move on and start over with someone else, but that person is still living in my head rent freeI'd imagine this is what is causing you to feel that disconnect. You really need to let go of that fear the best you can. You are basically preventing yourself from finding happiness. What if tall girl or another new woman you meet ends up being the love of your life that ends up being a billion times better than whoever you had a falling out with? See you would never be able to find that out and you would miss out on something amazing due to being stuck in the past. Ruminating is detrimental. >my brain starts telling me this isn't normal and i should throw it all away. it tells me it's all a ruse, or that someone wants to get something out of me. i'm just not used to any amount of positivity in my life. if it doesn't hurt, it doesn't feel real. You gotta stop this bro. You have something good going with tall girl, you said she is everything you want out of a woman so don't let your negative thoughts ruin everything. Ignore your brain when it tells you these bad things. This is something caused by your mental illness so don't give in. Listening to these negative thoughts will end up keeping you trapped alone in your apartment forever. That is exactly what is happening to me from listening to thoughts like this. >i'm hoping that connecting will people will help me regain my spark and create a positive feedback loop that'll set me on the right track. besides, i'd like to make memories with people while i'm still somewhat youthfulThis is a very good thought process. Now you need to try and move past that falling out you had, plus stop listening to your brain when you get these bad self-sabotaging thoughts so that you can start to build something meaningful with other people.
>>85262601I know. Nothing is enjoyable when you have no one to share it with.
>>85263338it's difficult because this was someone i used to talk to every single day for over a year. even if it was all online, as pathetic as it sounds, talking to her every day brought a sense of stability to my life that i so, desperately needed. we used to fall asleep on call together every night, and that genuinely was starting to cure my insomnia, more so than sleeping medication ever did. just hearing her breathing on the other side of the phone helped me calm down and sleep peacefully when i always struggled to do it on my own. having all of that taken away from me all of a sudden one day brought me more pain than i could ever convey in this post. i haven't felt an ounce of comfort in my life since she left. it's sort of insane how having one person around can sometimes soothe all your sorrows and make everything better in an instant. people here will tell you things like "just be content with being alone" but no matter how content i was with myself, nothing made me feel the same way i did when i had her around. your own presence can never beat the warmth of another person. i miss her so much every day and i feel like tearing up typing this out. >>85263362>Nothing is enjoyable when you have no one to share it with.isn't that the truth. watching anime and playing gmaes in the dark on my own only fills me with depression and dread nowadays. it's not even escapism anymore. and going outside is a humiliation ritual because all the public places are filled with people hanging out with friends or partners. it makes me look so out of place. and i can tell i am out of place because i can see people staring. you know, the kind of stares that feel like they're saying "what's this guy doing here? did he get lost or something?" that's my experience going anywhere on my own. i can only assume it would be a different experience with other people, because i never felt a fragment of enjoyment being out on my own.
>>85263453Not purposely being rude here but there is no nicer way to frame this. You are living in a mental prison of your own creation and you need to get over it. At this point you are pain shopping and exacerbating your mental health issues. Stop coddling yourself, stop ruining any potential chances you have at being happy. Find another e-foid who comforts you instead of crying over the one who left you. Get tall girl or whatever other women you have in your discord dms to call you and watch stuff with you instead of sitting around alone feeling sorry for yourself. This previous woman clearly did not care as much as you did or else she would still be around so find someone new to occupy your thoughts and time. You can escape this misery, listen to my advice and the tough love/advice other anons gave you in previous threads.
>>85263687couldn't fit all i wanted to say in a text post https://voca.ro/1mnf1gvmRbsM
>>85263749Ah bloo bloo. Nearly 13 minutes of you pointlessly shitting on yourself and feeling sorry for yourself despite you being leagues above some of the dregs of society I've seen posting here over the years. Dude I guarantee none of these women who add you while knowing about your romaniancel lore are expecting some autistic khhv shut-in neet loser to save them. It's not unusual to open up to each other, comfort each other, and vent to each other but that doesn't mean you have to fix their problems. You are assigning the role of saviorfag to yourself. These are adult women you are dealing with, they don't need a jobless inexperienced shut-in to fix anything for them so stop feeling like you have to. I just looked through the archives to double check and sure enough in one of your recent threads you mentioned that tall girl being independent and not wanting you to take care of her along with her being older than you. So there you go, no need to play saviorfag anymore. Congrats. Get her to take pity on you and tardwrangle you instead. Maybe you can turn the tables, have the woman become your savior this time. Some of the guys here can't even get a single woman to add them after many months or years of trying so your situation is not truly dire yet.
>>85263918there's a thread made by her on the catalog right now where she's contemplating suicide. two broken people can't fix each other, as romantic as that would be. i've dealt with too many similar situations to know it's not going to work out. she doesn't need someone like me in her life, she needs the opposite of me, someone who could help her get her shit together. we both need help and we can't help each other. what i was trying to say in that vocaroo is that i wish i could be the one to get coddled for once. it's always me listening to others and trying to fix others' issues and look where that got me. when it comes to people helping me with anything at all, it's always crickets on their end. i just wish that for once in my life i could be the one who gets saved.
>>85262601You make me too sad nigger:(
>>85264137Is it the thread with the cartoon cat picture? I read through it and honestly it seems more like attention seeking/lonely behavior rather than being genuinely suicidal. I used to post shit like that for similar reasons. I didn't actually want to kill myself and was doing alright in life. You get people being nice to you and more willing to have meaningful conversation in threads like that which is why I would make them. Personally as someone with a lot more life experience than you who also happens to have a lot of similarities to you I don't think you should get discouraged and assume the worst yet, maybe she actually would be willing to help you out and try to save you. I've been saved by a depressed loser woman before that I met here, she seemed to like focusing on trying to fix things for me since seeing me improve my life and become happy cheered her up and in turn made her life better too. Dunno how rare those kinds of women are, there's a chance the one you're talking to could be like that. From what little information you've given about her so far she actually sounds a lot like my ex kek it has me interested in you two since I do wonder if it's her and she still browses this place.
>>85264267why can't i ever make you happy ni~ggah >>85264398yep, that's the thread. i do think she's simply going through a rough patch right now and her life will improve significantly if she gives it a little more time, at least from the conversations we've had. she's got lots of opportunities to make herself, happy still, i'm a total dead-end compared to her in that department. >she seemed to like focusing on trying to fix things for me since seeing me improve my life and become happy cheered her up and in turn made her life better toohaving someone like this in my life would genuinely mend everything that was ever broken about me. even my two positive habits, lifting and cooking, i only took seriously because some woman i met on here a long time ago ingrained them into me. if some woman wanted to pick me up from the bottom of the barrel and mold me into her absolute ideal, i'd stick to it and follow her guidance diligently to a T. but it's usually the other way around and girls are the ones who want to be molded by their partners. >so far she actually sounds a lot like my ex kek it has me interested in you two since I do wonder if it's her and she still browses this place.depends, have you met your ex on /soc/? did you cheat on her at all? were you together for 5 years? that should clear it up!!
>>85262601Are you the bpd romanianon I was talking to like a month ago? We added each other on discord, talked for a couple of days about you wanting to stream and then the discord account was deleted.
>>85264714omg hii i remember you!! i did end up streaming a bunch!! i'll do it more if you'll be there to watch... that account had to be banished to the ether for various reasons, but i have a new one now.
>>85262877Its definitely easier to connect with someone at the same level than above you. I don't see whats so wrong with those who attempts to fake nice and put on a facade in order to punch down and feel better about themselves. Its pretty adjacent to girls with a savior complex who gets their sense of self worth and validation from feeling needed by broken people. They are all looking down at you in some way and acting out in self interest. >>85263028Idk the only person I ever added on 4chan was a chronic soc lifer and r9k poster, pretty much struggled to understand their mentality. Surprisingly enough they had their life together. Couldn't really tell if they were a over socialized, but the sense of getting replaced was definitely there. I can't imagine how fucking exhausting and repetitive it is to constantly cycle through and add people over the years, have the conversation filter out, mutually ghost each other, or constantly form a connection only for it to be lost. Probably can't even handle it, seems like purgatory. >>85263749Heh, your voice sounds completely different from your appearance, you sound like a absolute dork. >>85264651>girls are the ones who want to be molded by their partners. Your online attempts don't seem to be yielding positive results, have you considered finding a caring normie women and having her adopt your interests? On a off note, I'm genuinely curious how successful contactfagging attempts are. Is your definition of no luck, no connection, or lack of adds?/how many adds usually?
>>85264726I am still following your twitch account. Twitch tells me you streamed last month but I didn't get a notification for it. I was probably offline when it happened and twitch didn't save the videos. The yahoo email I used to exchange discord usernames got deleted by yahoo for some reason. The discord account is still the same and works fine but that email is gone.
>>85264765>They are all looking down at you in some way and acting out in self interest.there's still a fairly significant difference between someone looking down on you out of pity because they want to help you, out of malice because they want you to get worse so they can feel better about themselves or out of genuine curiosity for your circumstances.>Probably can't even handle it, seems like purgatory.it is. my life has been a purgatory for the past decade. i wouldn't recommend this sort of lifestyle to anyone but for some of us, it's all we have. not everyone is fortunate enough to be born surrounded by people and opportunities. to anyone who is, what i'm doing would seem like complete lunacy. >your voice sounds completely different from your appearanceeveryone says that!! sadly, no matter how much i work out, it's not gonna make my voice any manlier. i'm stuck with the vocal chords i've been given. and no girl will ever take my anime character voice seriously or find any amount of sex appeal in it. >normie womennormie women want nothing to do with me. the average normie woman has already lived 5 lifetimes compared to me. they don't want someone with the life experience of a little kid. if you genuinely think i possess any sort of appeal to normie women, then you're giving me way too much credit and i'm flattered. >how successful depends on how you define success >Is your definition of no luck, no connection, or lack of adds?no connection. think of it like a real life gacha game i guess (i don't play any) but i assume you're going to pull a lot of characters you're lukewarm on before you finally stumble upon the one you really want. it's the same logic here. is it a harsh thing to say? sure, but i'm being honest with you. >how many adds usually?depends on where i'm posting my tag and the context of the thread. you can ask me specifics.>>85264766you can add my new tag if you want, it's rollingmitsu
you have no idea what loneliness is little man
>>85264985soooo true!! i love slutting out and having sex with random strangers for drug money!! >//< is that what you wanted me to say instead?
>>85264651Yeah I'm sure she'll be fine, rough patches are easy to overcome for someone that has opportunities they can take advantage of. >having someone like this in my life would genuinely mend everything that was ever broken about me If she is my ex or even similar to my ex you're in luck because she really turned my life around and never gave up on me. >have you met your ex on /soc/? did you cheat on her at all? were you together for 5 years? that should clear it up!!It's insane that it might actually be her. I can't remember if I met her on /soc/ or /r9k/ but it was definitely one of the two. I did leave her for another woman which I admit is messed up and I regret doing that. Was with her for just over 4 years so it could be her and she rounded up. Obviously she wants nothing to do with me which I understand since I fucked things up but if it is actually her she is a very good person so please treat her better than I did.
>>85265402holy shit dude, can you add me on discord real quick just so we can clear this out? you're gonna blow my mind if you're actually her ex.
>>85264864Maybe your looks(discarding height)can get coast you through normie avenues of socializing like dating apps or some shit. It seems to be based off appearances anyway. Even if its just a hookup women are more likely to go into a hookup with the intention of a long term relationship as opposed to men. It may be worth trying, if you find the normie dating hellscape unbearable you can always end it for whatever vague bullshit reason. Might just be wishful thinkingWould an AA sponsor really work considering the henpecking and nagging of anon's here seems to have little effect? >i wouldn't recommend this sort of lifestyle to anyone but for some of usKinda regret it, but I ended leaving them because I think its fucks with their pair-bonding abilities and I don't see the point if they're just going to be back on soc again. >you can ask me specifics.I guess the last r9k soc thread that was posted recently, although the site traffic has slowed down dramatically. Maybe from a time there was more traffic?
>>85265534>Even if its just a hookup women are more likely to go into a hookup with the intention of a long term relationship as opposed to menwhat if i'm not interested in either hooking up nor dating normie women to begin with? every single person i've ever resonated with on a spiritual level has come from 4ch or some adjacent place. i'm not going to cope with a mediocre dating life after being alone for so long, despite how much it hurts to feel lonely sometimes. call me stubborn but it's just the way i am. >Would an AA sponsor really work considering the henpecking and nagging of anon's here seems to have little effect?their nagging doesn't have any effect on me specifically because they're anonymous. it's hard to put genuine value into their words if i don't know them personally and i'm not emotionally invested in them. that isn't to say i don't take their words to heart, because i do, but not to the extent that a person i'm close with would motivate to put that advice into practice. >I guess the last r9k soc thread that was posted recently, although the site traffic has slowed down dramatically. Maybe from a time there was more traffic?i kid you not, that thread in particular yielded zero results for me. not a single add. zero. i thought it'd be a good opportunity to befriend r9k's current userbase like back in the day when we used to have those biig discord fren threads if you remember, where everyone added each other constantly. but i guess most people here don't care enough to go on over to soc and browse that thread which is quite frankly understandable. but there's your answer, that thread was the unluckiest i've ever been in my entire history of contactfagging.
>>85265449Sorry to disappoint but I don't have discord anymore - I nuked it and have been in self-imposed isolation ever since my life went down the shitter. This place is my only form of social interaction besides my wagie job. Perhaps you can give more details itt and I'll confirm if it is her?
>>85265686well... according to her, she ruined your life pretty bad after you guys broke up, got the girl you cheated on her with to break up with you, and is even possibly taking you to court? does that ring any bells? if she's lurking itt (i know she is), maybe she could come out of the woodworks and you guys could dish it out on pay-per-view old fashioned style?
>>85265719No she got really depressed and blocked me everywhere after what I did. The woman I left her for was a vapid social media addicted normalfag and it was miserable being around her so we broke up due to that. Probably not my ex that you've been talking to. Strange how there are two femanons with this much in common though. Who knows maybe the one you're talking to is also into bettering the lives of mentally ill khhv neet losers just like mine was.
>>85265806>The woman I left her for was a vapid social media addicted normalfag and it was miserable being around her so we broke up due to that.a tale as old as time; a sweet, kind 4ch girl helps build up your confidence and once you get a taste of the good life, you go on cheat on her with some normgroid woman. i'd say i'm surprised, but i'm really not. don't worry, this is a judgment free zone, however. all your sins are forgiven by saint romaniancel. now let's turn over a new leaf, hand in hand. >Who knows maybe the one you're talking to is also into bettering the lives of mentally ill khhv neet losers just like mine was.assuming she doesn't hate my guts after seeing this thread. but hopefully she has a kink for men who are the literal scum of the earth i.e me
>>85265941>a sweet, kind 4ch girl helps build up your confidence and once you get a taste of the good life, you go on cheat on her with some normgroid womanYou're right that is exactly what happened. Turns out that caring supportive autistic weeb women are a billion times better than any normie woman out there will ever be - also much more difficult to find. Too bad I learned that lesson the hard way like the retard I am. At least I know not to fuck it up if I ever get exceptionally lucky and find another one that wants to be with me forever like the first one did. >assuming she doesn't hate my guts after seeing this thread. but hopefully she has a kink for men who are the literal scum of the earth i.e meYou didn't really do anything scummy I don't think? If she is a kind caring person she is not going to give up on you unless you really mess up like I did.
>>85266109>Turns out that caring supportive autistic weeb women are a billion times better than any normie woman out there will ever besomehow i've always known this to be the case even without ever dating someone IRL. that's why all the people telling me to go date normalfag women are wasting their time. i'm not gonna willingly lock myself into a shallow relationship with a person i don't enjoy being around to begin with. what's the point of doing something for the mere sake of doing it? my parents did that when they got married and then as soon as they had me they were like "actually, being married to you sucks because we have nothing in common and we barely talk" and they went their separate ways. i may be a dumbass, but i'd never forgive myself if i were enough of a dumbass to make the exact same mistake my parents did, as in, settling for someone out of convenience, just because they're there. that's the stupidest thing someone could do. i swore that'd never be my future ever since i learned about how their marriage fell apart from my grandma. and i'm very adamant on sticking to my guns on that one until the end of my life. >You didn't really do anything scummy I don't think? If she is a kind caring person she is not going to give up on you unless you really mess up like I did.maybe she'll feel hurt or offended by the way i talked about her itt? but i didn't mean to convey anything in a malicious way or anything. it's just that she's a part of my life now since she chose to get involved with me, so of course i'm gonna talk about her in threads.
>>85266199>all the people telling me to go date normalfag women are wasting their time. i'm not gonna willingly lock myself into a shallow relationship with a person i don't enjoy being around to begin withYou're saving yourself a lot of trouble there because from my experience with them, they cannot relate to people like us at all. Best way I could describe it is being around an alien that happens to be very boring and barely speaks your language. You'll never really understand each other on a deeper level.>i swore that'd never be my future ever since i learned about how their marriage fell apart from my grandma. and i'm very adamant on sticking to my guns on that one until the end of my life. It's admirable you are not going to repeat your parents mistakes no matter what. I'm sure your grandma would be proud of that too. >maybe she'll feel hurt or offended by the way i talked about her itt? but i didn't mean to convey anything in a malicious way or anything. it's just that she's a part of my life now since she chose to get involved with me, so of course i'm gonna talk about her in threads.You didn't say anything bad about her, you even said she is everything you could ever want out of a woman and you seem aware that it is your own mental blockages/mental illness that is causing trouble for you rather than anything external. I seriously doubt she will judge you for being mentally ill. If anything she will probably be very understanding and supportive.
>>85266293>Best way I could describe it is being around an alien that happens to be very boring and barely speaks your language. You'll never really understand each other on a deeper level.that's the impression i got too from my brief stint of trying to use dating apps out of curiosity a few years ago. every conversation i've ever had on there petered out after the smalltalk phase. one girl called me an embarrassing virgin for trying to make our ultra dry conversation more fun and playful by saying things like "*blush*" or "if we got matching fursuits, which animals would we be?" i was trying to entertain myself at that point because talking to those women was like pulling teeth. every time they'd respond with another generic one word robotic line of text i'd get filled with a deep sense of dread. not being able to be myself around a girl isn't worth all the normalfag sex in the world. >I'm sure your grandma would be proud of that too.i would hope so. she was the only person that ever cared about me. i miss her dearly every day and my life hasn't been the same since she passed in 2019. i'd do anything to have a long talk with her about life like we used to. it would help me sort my thoughts better. >If anything she will probably be very understanding and supportive.if she really is that understanding of my mental shortcomings, then i know for sure she's a keeper. but as i said, she's fighting her own demons right now. it would be unfair of me to expect her to help me get my life together when she's trying to figure out the same thing for herself.
>>85266424>one girl called me an embarrassing virgin for trying to make our ultra dry conversation more fun and playfulThese people shit on autists for being socially oblivious yet have no sense of shame about saying extremely rude things like this directly to someone. >i miss her dearly every day and my life hasn't been the same since she passed in 2019. i'd do anything to have a long talk with her about life like we used to. it would help me sort my thoughts betterThat's so sad I'm sorry man. Maybe you'll find a special someone who genuinely cares about you one day. >as i said, she's fighting her own demons right now. it would be unfair of me to expect her to help me get my life together when she's trying to figure out the same thing for herselfMy ex was also going through a lot yet she still helped me out because she wanted to and I think it made her problems seem minuscule in comparison which helped her deal with them easier. I was very similar to you at the time so she probably realized while helping me that my crappy life and my problems are so much worse than hers and if she could help me out so much despite how hopeless I seemed than fixing her own life would be piss easy in comparison. So maybe your lady is like that.
>>85262647>>85262601>grown man pretending to be a cute anime girlThis is why nobidy fucking likes you, grating attention whore.
>>85266596>have no sense of shame about saying extremely rude things like this directly to someone.this sort of stuff happened to me all the time back in high school too. i got seated next to a group of ultra mean, giga popular girls because there were no other seats available. and they'd blatantly talk shit about me even though i was like two centimeters away from them. they'd say stuff like "this guy's most definitely gonna die a virgin" or "we don't even identify you as a man, you're like this weird, nebulous creature" or "we wouldn't touch you even if you were the last man left on earth" among other things. i'd be lying if i said my self-esteem didn't take a huge blow after having to hear that sort of stuff from them day after day for years. normalfags have zero empathy. they have no internal monologue to tell them to think twice before they say something.>I was very similar to you at the time so she probably realized while helping me that my crappy life and my problems are so much worse than hers and if she could help me out so much despite how hopeless I seemed than fixing her own life would be piss easy in comparison.the more you tell me about your situation with your ex, the more i wanna swing you off a ledge Mario 64 style for throwing it all away. you had everything i could've ever wanted. >>85266610how am i pretending to be a cute anime girl other than attaching anime pictures to my posts? you sound a bit tilted for no reason.
>>85266700>i'd be lying if i said my self-esteem didn't take a huge blow after having to hear that sort of stuff from them day after day for years. normalfags have zero empathy. they have no internal monologue to tell them to think twice before they say something.That's so evil. People like that are irredeemable scum and I find they only do that stuff to someone who they think will let them get away with it. Don't let those things get to you because none of them are true. >the more you tell me about your situation with your ex, the more i wanna swing you off a ledge Mario 64 style for throwing it all away. you had everything i could've ever wanted. It was stupid of me to throw it away but you might be able to achieve something similar which is my point of telling you these things. Trying to prevent someone from doing what I did. So keep talking to that girl maybe you got lucky and struck gold. If you ruin things you'll end up regretting it and hating yourself for it like I do.
>>85266773>I find they only do that stuff to someone who they think will let them get away with it.you hit the nail on the head with this. if there's one regret i have about my youth, it's that i was way too passive and i let people get away with way too much. i should've fought back more, i should've done more to show people that they can't mess with me and get away with it. it's not that i was afraid of confrontation, i was just deathly afraid of getting expelled or having to redo a year. i already didn't have a great reputation at school to begin with. everyone knew me as a delinquent and a slacker. the principal was frothing at the mouth, waiting for a chance to get me expelled every single day. so i thought "if i don't cause any trouble, then i can just grit my teeth and get through high school so i can make my grandma proud" since she fought a lot to get me accepted to that school to in the first place. because of that, i put up with nothing but abuse and humiliation coming from both the classmates and the teachers throughout my entire school life. it's like they were trying to "break me" or something. i wouldn't be surprised if the principal egged them on to do it just so i'd snap and so something that'll get me expelled. in reality, all that abuse did was make me crippingly depressed, suicidal and unsure of myself. i attempted suicide in 10th grade because i had reached my breaking point, but rather than taking out my frustrations on other people, i took them on myself and realized that was the only way out for me. luckily (or unluckily), my grandma was there to save during my attempt. i'm not sure what would happen nowadays.
>>85264267>racismsGod, return this bigot to>>>/pol/
>>85266868You sound like you were a really good kid who was trying his best and wanted to make his grandma happy. You shouldn't have gone through all that so it's no wonder things turned out how they did when that was what you dealt with growing up. You never have to put up with that again so now you can focus on finding a nice lady or even a friend who can build your self esteem up and make you feel cared for and appreciated. You're a pretty cool guy so I think life will work out for you.
>>85266933thank you for listening to me this entire time. your kindness really knows no bounds. i value interactions like this more than you could ever know.
