today sleeping from the couch I woke up and I couldn't agree with what I had done and things and then I went back to sleep. I was obsessed with a social worker i had after being homeless who was a young girl. the circumstance that I have been always been lulled in being stuck in is because I couldn't imagine getting a girlfriend so I was addicted to seeing her so that I could pretend to myself that she was my girlfriend. I didn't actually needed a social worker but I saw her anyways. Considering I had a car and I had a driver license. I feel odd thinking about it now but I hadn't really thought about then how perhaps I have a life that should not be wasted and that I could try to achieve and acquire change in my life by living life properly dealing with the blows that come to me as I negotiate life to get what I want and desire rather than expecting much from a woman who has their job they in their life have and that one person will have their fully founded and built up convictions I will be a fool to still pursue lewd demands from from them crossing paths with them just doing their job. still now think now 2 years later my dim head flickers memories and fantasies of her. I am on the NDIS and I had over 100k of funding and I was addicted to a sw. I had btw had done an IQ test when I was 18 when mum decided to get me to doctors and anyways I tested pricely the mean of intelligence. I got diagnosed with autism and then got disability bennies. I lived at home well into adulthood before being homeless saving a lot of funds that I blew away one point in the city, and another point when I began driving and blew it away for AMP and prostitutes.
