i can't cook for myself. i can barely feed myself. i just went down to 120 lbs from 135 lbs (i'm 6'1), i can't do it anymore. my autism is killing me, i can't do anything. i can't even play video games or do anything enjoyable. it feels like i'm a slave to the wills of others, like i can't do anything of my own volition. someone please just kidnap me and give me purpose. i'm not even depressed just completely hollowed outalso i literally look like pic rel except i also have alopecia areata which makes me look even more like a cancer patient
You realize this isn't a realistic plan right?
>>85269098i know i'm just coping. no one will ever come knock on my door to save me, i have no idea where to have someone save me, and i have zero energy or motivation to save myself. it's as if i perceive myself as nothing, like not worth anything whatsoever. i want to indulge in enlightened self-interest but it feels impossible when my brain cares about itself so little
>>85268871What is it that keeps you going anon? Do you / did you have a life mission?
>>85269457during covid i got obsessed with truth seeking, esotericism/occultism/mythology/conspiracies/religion/philosophy/etc. but eventually i realized none of my accumulated knowledge and wisdom amounted to anything, so i returned to nihilism. but then i realized true nihilism is neutral; if there's no reason to live, then there's no reason to die either. so i've just been stuck not logically being able to do anything whatsoever. in the past few months i've been meditating to an obsession, trying to embrace the void and hoping that something good will come out of that. but so far nothing, and it's getting harder and harder to do nothing
>>85268871It's amazing what Christian Bale did in preparing for that movie. He got so underweight that his muscles got too weak and he had trouble walking normally, and found it difficult to run.
>>85269555Are you a neet? If so how long have you been a neet? Do you have a car?
