Ive found that just "being there" for someone isnt enough. Anyone can "be there" so theres no reason for them to choose you over anyone else.In order to cement yourself in their mind as someone truly special that they should spend their time on, you have to be able to provide insight during a time of need. It has to be something meaningful that actually helps them get over whatever emotional distress theyre facing at that time and it has to be unique, something that they feel like only YOU could say so that they have a reason to choose you over someone else.I am determined to find love but I am a wholly uninteresting person with nothing to offer. I cannot imagine a single scenario where Id have some unique and meaningful insight to provide when someone needs it and I just generally am an empty person.What can I do about this? How can I fix this?
>>85271941I think you're wrong. Being there for someone is usually just supporting them and validating their emotions. When someone is in emotional distress they don't want insight or solutions: they want to feel their feelings, and have their feelings heard and accepted. Only after the initial emotional phase is over is it time to provide insight or maybe even advice.Many men don't realize this, and try to answer sadness with advice.
>>85271941I think you are exaggerating. In fact trying to fix issues can often be annoying when someone is having problems. Life's not anime, no one comes up with life changing speeches at dramatic moments.
>autist who thinks they're 'an empath'nobody likes fake people.
>>85271962>Many men don't realize this, and try to answer sadness with advice.why does this only work one way around, though? men simply have more 'systemizing' brains, we're like engineers.so we turn that off when a woman needs support? dudes talk to each other, we're really thankful to each other when it comes to advice (or better yet, a practical task WHILE we deal with the emotional stuff)basically, we're not being dicks. we can and do act against our nature. but why can't women, too, then...? a man is shouldering a lot of emotional weight in order TO give you that advice, anon. it's like Being-There-For-You Plus.
>>85271989Not really lol. It's more like we aren't used to dealing with these types of situations since men tend to keep problems to themselves. Most problems where you need to someone to be there for you can't be fixed. >dudes talk to each other, we're really thankful to each other when it comes to advice (or better yet, a practical task WHILE we deal with the emotional stuff)The fact that you think this tells me that you haven't faced (or have failed to navigate) many of these situations.
>>85272029>Most problems where you need to someone to be there for you can't be fixed. >The fact that you think this tells me that you haven't faced (or have failed to navigate) many of these situations.well can you give examples?grief, depression, illness...chronic problems either pass, or they're lifelong and you just manage them as best you can. i want advice from someone who has listened to me, who the hell doesn't?
>>85272051Seems like you answered yourself. When navigating the death of a close one there's no advice that will help you. If your first instinct to help a friend going through this is to tell them that doing cardio helps getting dopamine into the brain or whatever you are a retard. Some advice is fine but it's secondary to being able to empathize and give good conversation to keep the mind off things.Don't even need to go to such an extreme. Just regular life mundane issues often don't have a solution, or if they have that solution is often evident or easier said than done, when the main thing someone might need is to complain and share an issue.
>>85272119as i said, things pass.i dunno anon, maybe we're just two different people. but i hate this 'anti-advice' culture that's trendy atm. i want tools, i want friends to help me along with those tools. or at the very least, i want to busy my mind.i can't think of anything more psychopathic than>i'm struggling because bad things have happened.>well, let us sit together. i am here for you :-)
>>85271989thats tard that answered you had really bad wording so Im gonna tldr youmen dont voice unfixable issues, they keep them inside. they only express if its a thing that can be solved and needs advicewomen do the opposite, if its fixable she will just research solution herself and apply, if she complains then the situation is unfixable and you trying to come up with solution is tone deaf
>>85272127>but i hate this 'anti-advice' culture that's trendy atmis it trendy right now? sounds like it's a simple admission that some shit can't be fixed>>85272719>if its fixable she will just research solution herself and applythat bears the implication that women do not usually ask for help
