both my elementary school best friends went on to live their true lives, it makes me hopeful for whatever ive got going on.ive only ever felt comfortable aeound women but in recent years ive let myself go. i am too insecure to seek the one true source of validation i love, female attention. being raped by a cousin and forced to make out with other girl cousins did nothing but ruin how i turned out as a person, i cant help but think of the things that happened to me on repeat in my head all day. i feel the need to cheat or take hard drugs to feel like myself for a while
