I am so tired of fucking insects by now, Summer can fuck off. I want to experiment with a game engine, but clearing out memory for that and a game project is annoying and my old man body wants to nap/rope instead. It's hot, which makes things worse.

>>85289638
I have no problem with insects since I installed some mosquito net in every window but it's way too hot here to do anything. I haven't worked out in over a month and I also had to stop going for a walk mid morning.
Yeah I'd very much rather be miserable during winter.

I'm 31

I'm studying for a comptia cert

Just fapped

Life sucks

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>>85289604
35
I technically have a great job
Rent my own townhouse
Only look forward to being alone and relaxing on the weekends though.
Going to lift right now, then stock up on food cause im gonna get high later, pleasure myself, then crush food and kill nerds in BF6 and watch something visually stimulating. Thats about it.
As always, milk or die.

>>85289845
>Only look forward to being alone and relaxing on the weekends though.
Yep, this is the conclusion I have reached.
Still have to get my own place though but I already have the money, just waiting to find the right one.

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>Reject modernity, return to nature edition
That's the plan
>What are you up to anon?
Counting the days till the fucking summer is over
>Do you still have hopes to make a comeback?
Yes, but I do not expect to "make it" or actually achieve what can be considered a normal, successful life. I expect to make a comeback and live exactly how I want, on my own terms.
Right now the most important thing I have to do is buy my own house.

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I had dinner with some high school friends this week and it's incredible how little I can relate to guys I used to hang out and play video games with. One is a doctor, the other is a dentist. I think 90% of what they talked about was money. They were discussing a $10k cruise and talking about buying a $3k chair or an $800 lamp just because they were designer pieces instead of IKEA. I mean, why would anyone need to spend $800 on a lamp, unless they're just bragging about it?

it's fucking rough i just had an actual connection with someone that lasted a week and now it's back to horrible nothingness except it's even more hellish because i know what i'm missing out on
i wish a gun would materialize in front of me

>>85290237
>now it's back to horrible nothingness except it's even more hellish because i know what i'm missing out on
This is pretty much how I felt when I forced myself to socialize more.

>>85289638
>fucking insects
Bro how are u fitting your dick inside beetle. call the cum beetlejuice

>>85290303
what's there to do
lobotomize yourself with whatever content/substances and shut yourself in until you die?
keep trying and torturing yourself?
jump off a bridge?

>>85290361
Is there anything you enjoy? If there is, do it, if not try to find it. I've been told all my life I had to go out, party and be social to have a happy life and I simply don't like it. Covid lockdown was literally the best time of my life in the last decade because no one bothered me.

>>85289604
Had a shitty date last night with an ugly chick lol. Not even sure why I do it. Thought I could just settle for a chick i wasn't very into but now I'm rethinking that. Dying alone doesn't seem so bad.

>>85290231
Lol all of my friends are mostly losers but i still don't really like hanging with them because it's the same shit. Dick measuring contest and bragging even when they are all poorfags.

>>85290384
no nothing that i do on my own is enjoyable to me anymore. it's all particularly meaningless to me
i'm not talking about going out either, all i need is someone on discord that i can truly connect with, text only even is enough for me. it seems i will never be truly happy without such a person

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>>85290384
>Not even sure why I do it.
34 here. I had a date with a girl I met on Hinge a few weeks ago. She was ok on the app but loud and abrasive IRL. Wanted to leave ASAP but didn't want to come across as rude so I stayed for like 4 hours. Wasn't even that attracted to her. Going on the date reminded me of why I hate dating apps so much. They dont feel natural. Meeting someone and sitting down and going through the
>What do you do for work
>Where do you live
>What do you like
etc etc stuff feels so unnatural. A few years ago I got lucky with this chick who kept frequenting a local bar and we hit it off pretty well. I remember doing dual karaoke with her then I put my arm around her while we sang and then went home together. It felt so much better than meeting someone on a dating app.

Sadly, I dont really know how to meet people these days. I work 9am until 5pm then when I get home I'm so exhausted from dealing with office politics and normies all day that I just don't want to go anywhere else. I think I'm really fucked.

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>>85290596
>Wizard.jpg
Okay.
>34 here.
Go on.
>I had a date with a girl
Stopped reading there.

>Lol all my friends.
>Had a shitty date last night
>I had dinner with some high school friends.
I may not like it, but this is what 4chan 2026 looks like.

>>85290539
fuck i meant to link >>85290377

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>>85290596
I've had two dates in two years, one with a girl who was nice and seemed comfy but was a single mum (huge no) and the other with this girl I sort of vaguely know who's pleasant to be around on the surface, but a complete social media brained turbonormie who clearly only treats men like human beings if she finds them attractive, which even though I could benefit from that is just so nakedly repulsive as a character trait I can't force myself to get involved even though she is admittedly quite hot.

I've had several nice matches I was attractive to on hinge recently, but my disgust at dating app is by now so deeply ingrained I just don't even want to entertain it.

Hello uncs! Any advice on how to not end up like you? Currently 25 year old neet.

>>85290922
I was a 25 year old neet and still ended up like me.

>>85290922
make friends. join a club that will connect you with people that you want to be like / that have resources to make you who you want to be like. (rotary club, professional organizations, run clubs, whatever) it'll help get you out of your shell and as long as youre not clingy or extremely rude from the jump you will eventually acquire resources and at the very least acquaintances from it. the bar for networking is lower than you think

consider pursuing education at a community college. in addition to getting smarter or gaining workforce development they will have social opportunities and career development resources because they need people to get jobs after they graduate in order to retain funding

basically get out of the house and strategically normie-pill as necessary

>>85290922

Leanmaxx first and foremost, 10% bf is where life begins.

Get a job, not the retarded type but start to build as much $ as possible as early as possible.

As >>85290958 said, join social activities, and try to find a partner because as you grow older you will start to not want anyone anymore.

>>85291007
>>85290958
>>85290942

Thanks for the advice uncs recently started studying a bit so I could get into a school for a decent job so making progress there atleast.

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>>85290068
Ya man I look forward to the weekend constantly. Just love having no commitments or responsibilities on the weekends and just get to do whatever I want even if thats nothing.

>>85291055
nice. keep grinding bro it's all the little things that add up

>>85290922
At your age I was a semi-alcoholic, semi-NEET not going to classes and failing. Thankfully college is cheap where I live.
Anyway, I got scared that year, finally got my degree at 27, got a job and now I'm on my way to early retirement. 31, likely to exit around 40. Never moved out, never bought a car, don't want a wife and kids, I just want to be NEET again. I just live on 20% of what I make and invest the rest into state bonds.
>>85291007
This anon is right. Focus on making money and ending up at a point where you can live from returns on your investments. And invest in safe stuff, not bullshit like crypto. Chances are if you're used to being free at 25, this is what you'll always want. I know I do. Having a job sucks balls, even a comfy office one like I do..
Another tip, once you get a job, never accept promotions. They'll mean a lot more work for slightly more money. It's not worth it. Get a comfy job and focus on investing.

I estimate I've made about 50,000 posts since 2007. 7000 on my phone since 2024.

>>85290922
35 now, if I could go back in time and talk to my 25-year-old self I wouldn't have some game plan to accomplish normiehood, it would be more about accepting that I am kind of stupid and ugly and existing comfortably within those limitations. Just accept that you're one of us, look at what we're trying to do (comfortably isolate from society), and get a head start on it.

Bitch decided to break up after I got sick and suddenly got hit with bills.

Waste of four years. Oh well, time to catch up on some substance and vidya.

i really thought the wall was some made up meme by bitter incels but i'm starting to occasionally get women my age and over so desperate they're actually sort of trying to hit on me. i don't know how to feel about this. on one hand i crave a relationship more than anything else. on the other hand i have too much self respect to be someone's backup plan, which is basically all i can ever be for a woman over 25. when i was in my 20s none of these women would have pissed on me if i was on fire.

>>85289604
34
Femanon.
Working but not enough pay to live on my own.
190lbs at 5'4". Heaviest I've been in my life. Been outside walking/jogging three days in a row now.
About 10 years ago I actually did this weight loss journey at around 180lbs and got down to a maintained 136lbs weight so I know I can do it again.
Also currently crushing hard on a coworker in a different department and torturing myself about it daily. Hope and experiences say maybe he's interested too, and horrific mental health says I'm delusional to even try and fantasize of nice things.
He gave me a fist bump the other day after we talked about weekend plans; usually I don't ever get a chance to talk to him solo. Loved the talk. Also very sad with myself for feasting on breadcrumbs.

I still feel as spry as what I did in my 20's. Blessed be the 30+ NEET.

Are any oldfag anons into reading philosophy? Other than the regular stresses of everyday life I find it hard to find meaning and purpose in this nihilist existence. Yeah yeah I know, just jerk off and play videogames everyday until you die, but idk, that doesn't work for me as good as it used to anymore. Outside of marriage and kids I don't really see finding a purpose and it's quite bleak. Any philosophy books or recommendations would be appreciated.

>>85292351
I can't speak for you but I'm in the same position. When you really look at the modern dating market, I say if she's older than 25 and doesn't have a kid then that shows a level of restraint and forethought that many modern women lack. And I'm legit not the obese 34-year-old who posted just below you, but when you picture the other anons itt are we all chads who deserve automatic tinder pussy just for being good goys and paying our rent on time?

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>>85289604
30
Started taking home-cooking seriously before all the shitty food habits blow out my heart plumbing. Getting closer to getting a degree. In-between jobs trying to go from blue collar work to a desk job.

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32, have a CS degree, some IT certs, and some training in cybersecurity but I couldn't get any job in IT so I just work 911. I make about 70,000 bucks in a flyover state and on a good night I can spend most of my time just playing video games or watching movies.

I'm not waiting for a comeback, I have given up.

>>85292492
i like your rhetorical question, let me answer with another one. isn't being single better than shacking up with someone who has never and will never find me attractive and is only talking to me because none of her other options worked out?

>>85290902
Yeah fuck single moms. Unless you just wanna fuck them and then leave. Im not gonna pay for someone else's kid. Although, its probably gonna get more common the older you get.
>brained turbonormie
Cant deal with these types.

I think we have to admit that perhaps we shouldn't date normies. They're gonna drive us insane. At least me. I'm autistic asf.

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i cannot do it bros
i dont want to end up with a used up whore
but as i get older it will only get harder and harder finding a self respecting woman

>>85292910
>i dont want to end up with a used up whore
I'm with one, she's not even attractive either. No clue how it happened. One the bright side she gets me out of the house and doesn't mind I'm a 30 something neet.

>>85290922
get into dieting if you're fat, dont go for the gym meme
take care of your body and dont do extraneous things or wear down your body
take care of your teeth and drop soda coffee beer
invest into s&p 500 early, and dont wait
min max your dollars and stretch them, dont waste it on stupid shit always, most stuff is irrelevant
always look for government gibs, free money from the government adds up and can be given to you for years and years

>>85289604
>What are you up to anon?
Still recovering physically after headbanging for 6 days in a row at a metal festival.
I'm doing overall surprisingly well compared to the bleak expectations I had 15 years ago.
>Reject modernity, return to nature edition
I reject a lot of modernity but won't reject all of it.
I don't have social media, I never had discord, I don't even own a smartphone. But I like city life, night clubs and the convenience of living in a european city so i won't be giving any of those up anytime soon.
>>85291007
>>85291337
>>85290231
The obsession with money is something that will never be not-weird to me.
Still, I have a former high school colleague who is now a multi-millionaire from investments. I don't know a single man IRL worse than that guy. He's mentally insane, antisocial, virgin and just a complete wacko. Sure, his line went up and has a cute mansion in the suburbs. But he lives alone because not even the most whorish foids are willing to entertain the thought of living with such an immense cretin.
The two doctors (men) in my former class are slightly better off than the milionaire but still overall miserable. They're wealthier than me, yet somehow in way deeper trouble with money than I ever was and they still whine that they don't have a wife and children.
In high school I was the butt of most jokes for being a faggot and pussy repellent. Well, this faggot has two kids while the respectable kids on the block are, put simply, lifetime failures but richer.
It's quite amazing how LITTLE one can truthfully infer about a man from age 19 to 30+.

>>85292910
Just let it go man. I'm 36 and anything you can get in your 30s is not worth it. Unless you're very rich or 8+ handsome so you can date half your age any woman interested in you will just ruin your life and your mental health being a parasite off you. I have NEVER heard of a man meeting a worthwhile woman while 30+. It's just not natural to meet a self-respecting female this late in life. Baby Boomers and by extension Millennials have been so delusional about life stages and relationships. Life isn't a movie or anime people have been sold too many lies and fantasies. My only hope is happening across a hot young mentally ill girl from a broken home I can atleast enjoy while she's parasiting off me.

>>85289604
>What are you up to anon?
Waiting to be called back for an interview (line cook because I'm dumb as a brick). They saw my resume and called me some days ago, so there's hope.
>Do you still have hopes to make a comeback?
I just want to be paid a monthly salary so I can afford stuff and help around the house. I can't make a 'comeback' when I've been bottom-of-the-barrel swill all my life.
>Personally I do.
Personally, I keep my scope short. It feels like forever since the last time I was a wagie and it gets harder by the day because of my age and a big unemployment gap; I can't say "Oh, I was clinically depressed for three years" or else they'll give me funny looks.

>>85290231
they were just bragging to eachother.
i have a few long time friends that just talk about money, how they are following the "lone wolf" path, how they only want people around them that make them be their best self, all while doing cocaine and trying to impress the only rich dude in the group, rich dude is a fucking blast, he acts like a regular dude, he knows hes born into wealth but never talks about it, he mocks the other 2 for trying to LOOK rich

>>85289604
Im in my come back arc. I wasted my 20s and early 30s on vidya and weed doing nothing worth while in the slightest. Im awake now. Ive started getting fit and dropped vidya in favor of reading and writing. Still smoke weed, but im cutting down and its not as important as it once was. Thinking of getting into boxing but not sure if 35 is too old to start something like that.

>>85293346
>dropped vidya in favor of reading and writing
sorry to be a doomer but it's just as pointless

>>85293368
Its more mentally stimulating. You cant just zone out, you need focus to absorb what youre reading.

34, I've given up on dating because I'm too much of a loser for it to be successful. Nearly content with AI larps and sex dolls. Wish some big pharma company would develop neuropeptide y agonists so i could physically eliminate the pangs of loneliness. Oh well, stopped doing drugs, video games don't really make me happy anymore either. Have my own place for now and can eak out an existence on part time work and assistance from my parents and the government, pretty comfy but trying to push myself more to get a real job cause it's not a definite state so i need a backup plan
>>85292450
Have you started with the basics? I mean sartre, camus. if you're having existential crises constantly probably more serious philosophers aren't really for you
>>85293368
It's probably better for your mind thoughever

>>85292910
Arab sheiks spend millions just to deflower young beautiful virgins, you think you have a shot?

>>85293496
More of a shot than you poopoo jew.

>>85292450
I did for a while, then I realized that I was looking for answers and got more questions instead, it didn't help me and as a purely literary exercise I didn't enjoy it.
Now I mostly try to read comedy, like stuff from Wodehouse and Sharpe which I find way more enjoyable.

>>85293346
35 isnt too old to be physically active anon, dont let these doomers discourage you. Boxing is a great way to stay in shape and be social in your middle age I think you should take it seriously

just woke up. my first thought upon wakin was about elementary school. we used to just sit there and discuss cartoons and trading cards. i used to think those times would last forever

>>85293735
>35 isnt too old to be physically active anon, dont let these doomers discourage you. Boxing is a great way to stay in shape and be social in your middle age I think you should take it seriously

When I was younger I was working on a dock, there were 35-45 year old guys that looked like bodybuilders, they didn't work out, it was just the physical work that got them ripped. They told me their whole goal with the job was to earn money and look ripped so they could bang hot 20 year olds from the clubs. Thats it.

I suppose if thats all your goal in life is....

I'm 35. Recently got put on disability payments after I was advised to make an application. . I live with my parents. When I was younger I received multiple scholarships for my academic prowess. I was gifted. But I was never shown how to use it. Turns out I'm probably also autistic. It feels strange to end up here and have this confirmed with the disability confirmation.

Making friends was always difficult for me. I'm not interested in most things most people are interested in. My interests are very niche. But on top of that, being unemployed and living off of disability payments is looked down upon by many people. One of the first questions people ask is "what do you do?". My life just feels strange now. I always had this idea that I'd be able to defeat the issues I had and that I'd catch up to my old friends. But I couldn't do it, I lost, I failed, etc. No chance of ever really 'catching up' to my old friends, they're long gone anyways, haven't seen them in over a decade.

A recurrent feeling for me is that I've never been able to really grasp anything tangible, almost everything feels empty. I've tried to fix, solve, improve, and transform things and it has almost felt like trying to run underwater.

I feel so far removed from life and society, from the people, from the world. I'm just an observer, that is all I can be, that is how it feels to me.

I think I may just try and get back into the gym and get as fit and strong as I possibly can.

I'm just shocked, I really thought I'd be able to fix and solve my problems, but here I am - the things I thought I could change have actually passed me by now. I'm grateful for the disability payments but I'd be a liar if I said I didn't feel a hint of "what is point and purpose for me now?".

I really cannot shake this eerie feeling that it was somehow my fate, or destiny, to just be an observer of people and society and civilization.

>>85293917
i never tried to do disability because it seems like the money is shit. do you even make 2k a month on that?

>>85293933
I don't really want to discuss the money as I feel pretty bad about receiving it desu even though I've been assessed and all that. But in my country, and in my situation, I am not complaining about the payments that I receive. It is what it is. I think many people would hate it but I live quite simply.

>>85289604
I've completely given up on life and am waiting to die

>>85293346
try doing a 3 day gym routine (push/pull/legs) and then moving into a 6 day routine after 3 months or so. Boxing is hectic and requires so much cardio. I think 9 months of trainign in the gym followign a routine and eating clean plus getting quality sleep would be better. Just my opinion. Wish you good luck man. You're not too old. Being active in an intelligent manner will make you feel younger and give you more energy.

>>85293956
I understand and respect that. glad you can live comfortably on it. I just don't think I'd be able to here in merica. it's easier to push a forklift around in hot, shitty warehouses.

>>85289604
Watching a really good series, but it is full of sex, relationships and family (full of drama of course, but the other elements are everywhere).
It reminds me that I am a freak that should be dead, so I am venting a bit before going to sleep.

>>85294009
>https://www.youtube.com/shorts/TesHo0kMohU

llol he is a funny guy

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Hii this is chickn I'm a 29 year old Latina anyone wanna say anything to me?

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>>85294008
dunno if knowing other people also feel similar ways to you, but yeah, some other people also avoid certain media

hope you have a good sleep and feel better man

>>85294017
yea I think you should go offline sometimes. for a year or so, and just live with yourself alone. I do it occasionally and I think it really centers me.

>>85294032
Thanks Anon, same goes for you.

>>85290231
my friend had the same experience. he said he tried to discuss vidya and older inside jokes. but the friends were more interested in discussin having a family. its scary being a gamer. my actual closest friend, all his social media stuff was video game themed. one day he just stopped. it was shockin to see him offline for months. he was being a wageslave instead. his next social media profile had 0 mention of games or anime. total stranger

>>85294097
Honestly that shit happened to me when I quit neeting and got a job, wasn't even that I didn't want to game I was just fucking exhausted from working so much which is funny because I started working to upgrade my pc so I could game.

>>85294113
upgrading my pc with my wage money and simultaneously realizing I didn't want to game anymore was a pretty sobering experience. canon event for adulting people.

>>85294128
I wouldn't call myself an adult to be honest, still just sit around getting hammered and posting on here lol.

i couldnt do that nongamer shit. i simply played solo games when i become extra loner. but i do miss having someone i could genuinely talk to. talkin to most normalfags feels like an interview. like a staged one youd see a streamer do. i dont listen to western woman who sings about chad. i dont watch jose ball. i accept im alone now. unless the next person played x game for 300hrs like i did, a convo would go nowhere. ......

>>85294166
I only play games on my days off now. it's like a time killing device. just waiting for the next time I can clock in.

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I play Roblox because I must be stunted. Mostly the rare gems like Guts&Blackpowder though.

But I recently got the "weird" part of Roblox recommended to me. And I found there are actually adult women speaking on them. But I just listen to their conversations like a cuck. I'll never use VC. It is pretty degenerate, for lack of a better word.

>>85294128
was about to buy a new gpu, new case and MB then i realized i dont fucking play more than an 1hr nowadays, i bought a few shirts and some cleaning stuff for my car and motorcycle

>>85294231
good on you. good clothes and shoes will pay off more than computer shit in the long run. look good and feel good at work, people will notice it.

>>85294228
what is that dirty apartment thing?
women talking on vc?
I've never played roblox
but I know a woman 27 years of age who plays it

After the complete dumpster fire that was my 20's, it can really only go up from here. Only 32 and I've really been enjoying it so far, especially as a NEET. If only I didn't waste my 20's worrying about stupid shit, but hell I wouldn't have made it to the perspective I have today if I didn't.

that feel when I got no joy in my life. Decided to eat meth again. Just basically been up gooning for 30 hours now. I feel so desperate to suck and get fucked by men, to get used as a cumtoy, but I feel ill and tired, I've hardly eaten and I've just laid in bed with my legs spread stroking my semi flaccid cock. I can barely get hard and if I do I lose it. But I'm so horny. I have some viagra but I'm afraid of heart issues. God this meth spins me the fuck out. It's so sexual. I'm absolutely craving cock, loads shot in my ass, all over me, I want to suck and stroke anyone who wants it. I want to just lay back on a mattress, spread my legs and get fucked over and over. All raw, every load shot deep inside me. Hardcore sloppy seconds for the next pervert who wants a fucktoy to use.

God I'm going insane I need to sleep. This drug just spins me the fuck out. I took clonazepam and pregabalin but the meth outweighs it. What am I doing with myself? I need to focus on important things like making money, finding valuable relationships, finding meaning in my life. It's not found in some chemical that turns me depraved.

>>85294354
Out of curiosity, are you an ausfag?

>>85294369
that is a copypasta

>>85294317
hope it continues to get better man

>>85289604
Not up to anything, nothing sounds fun or interesting. Turned 33 on the 3rd. I need to finally go back to school, find a career I can manage with a shitton of disabling health issues. Don't really want to live on disability. I'm selling the house and splitting from my husband, doesn't feel great. Neither of us want the place, mind you. It's falling apart and there is no money for repairs. I just want to feel something other than boredom and melancholy. Please, for fuck sake..

>>85294383
Thanks. I'm one of the more luckier NEETs in the sense that I have my own rental. Got booted out of my parents at 19. Thank goodness I have some form of security now at least, I dread to think how it would've ended up had I stayed at my parents at 30 and over.

>>85289604
>What are you up to anon?
using deepseek flash to try and cobble together a custom pokemon rom. i want to replace kanto in crystal with the real kanto layout from rby.
>Do you still have hopes to make a comeback?
i ate a quarter of a kilo of cheese and a bag of kettle chips for morning tea. i think not.

>>85294317
My 20's were the same, well I wasted them being an opiate addict (not a hardcore herion addict I was on methadone). Shit hit the fan recently and I'e been somewhat humilated by the medical system having every crutch stripped away in the process. Tne thing is I know I can't kill myself so I'm just gonna have to live with what happened and try to make life better

>>85294409
That sounds harsh. Sorry you're going through that. I've also been meme'd by the medical system here (not for methadone, the mental health system) they were more amicable with me when I was somewhat manageable but when I clued on to their bullshit they were quick to distance themselves from me. I guess it's a relief in a way since at least I don't have to worry too much about hospitals anymore.

just walked the dog for half an hour. i forgot it was saturday! i saw 3 cars full of friends. they were singing along to the speaker song. youre only a happy teen once. i was always too broke for a car, or prom, or wifi gaming. couldnt go out with any teen classmate, nor play CoD with them. i wish i lived like normal people it must be fun. some days i blame my parents for not providing shit. my cousin had a car before finishin high school. his parents HELPED and actually listened to his hopes and wishes. vastly different life

>>85294460
People put so much faith into the medical system for things which require personal guidance, I guess you only truly learn after getting burned, its such a joke

>>85289604
>What are you up to anon?
Getting over a fever. It's so hot but I also want it hot (blankets, hot soup that burns my tongue but I don't even care) but my head hurts.
>Do you still have hopes to make a comeback?
Back? It never began. Today I was reminiscing the cousin(?) I met as a very young child at a reunion who snuck me a Pepsi from the fridge. Her hair was light and she wore a large yellow shirt. That girl was my first crush and I've always wanted to find out who she was. Despite my age, I've never gotten past that point with a girl. It never went anywhere in high school and it probably never will. Uncharted territory. Maybe it doesn't even exist?

>>85292620
>32, have a CS degree, some IT certs, and some training in cybersecurity but I couldn't get any job in IT
the markets fucked mang. im sorry to hear this. you sound like youve actually put in a bit of effort more than the average

>>85289604
A few years into early retirement after spending most of 30's intensely masking and trying to fit in while climbing the corporate ladder. Over-achieved my way through multiple promotions, savings and investment maxxed, reached total burnout and pulled the ejection handle when the pandemic clown show made it unbearable to deal with normies anymore. Moved away from everything and never looked back.
Small town, comfy place close to nature, but mostly stay home playing vidya or messing with 10+ year old computers. Only remaining friends are either out of state or too busy being a normie with job/family obligations so never see them.
Went through the relationship arc a couple times in 20's and 30's but mostly learned I'm too much of a loner to be able to maintain a relationship in the long run, so whats the point? Not interested in being a beta provider to a used up whore, not outgoing enough to meet and casually date the type of women I'd want to hang out with once in a while.
Feel like its not too late to make a comeback, but have no idea what I want to pursue for the next few decades of this existence since I've pretty much ruled out the idea of starting a family.

>>85292620
how can i get a 911 job. i dont have a criminal record but cant even land a job in a grocery store. im not exaggerating when i saw my interviews get cancelled/forgotten by management

>>85294577
do you live in a major metropolitan area? I think it's very easy to get in at 911 in major cities but hard in small towns and suburbs

>>85294574
What I find challenging is that being 'outgoing' means entering into the abstracted and intangible status olympics that the majority of people engage in. It's obvious to me that this world runs on materialism as the central thesis and foundation because that is the ultimate way to express superiority at every hierarchical level. Sorry if this sounds like wanky weird bullshit. The most annoying shit is that guys who eventually have valuations in the billions stop flexing. It is the huge chunk of people between the hobo and the billionaire that intensely compete for status and the largest expression of status comes from material objects that they value.

>>85294574
also well done achieving your goals, masking for that long, getting through the bullshit to get to being retired as you are, that is a huge achievement.

>>85294593
In a way the marxists were right. If we look at the primitive level of brains they default towards power. Everything is about power. It's why random guys watch on while the incompetent but brash drugged out guy continues to pull girls. He's giving off the vibe he has power, and girls brains activate. Same with other materialistic things, money, height, fancy car, dick size.

>need job google staffing agency near me
>they tell me to register an account, they provide a laptop cool
>alright anon youre workin outside for 10/hour
>tell em no way, you got anything else?
>dude is shocked
>he says theres a janitor position open
>gimme
>no u need experience
>i tell them im not workin outside for 10 lmao. give me janitor
>he laughs and says no. tells me to come back next month and shrugs
>they block my number and close my account
since mom drove me and waited in the parkin lot it was a waste of time. turns out you cant pick a job from a board. they own you

>>85294615
this sounds horrible tho
not related but ive been experiencing a lot of anger towards many things but im not able to hold it anymore, im not being violent but i act ruthless against stupid people including my family, i dont want to be like this i want it to stop im a cynical bastard and i just want to not care about anything

>>85294600
marxists are just braindead underclass.. in truth overpopulation is ruinin most countries. there arent 7 billion comfy office jobs. immigration should be treated as treason in post industrialist era. smooth traffic should be a right

>>85292351
cant believe i used to be into milfs. i suppose that was a phase. or timmy turners mom was just somethin special. anyway im into teen gwen tennyson nowadays. hags make my tummy hurt

>>85292351
I'm 35 and pretty much every single chick i know is on my dick now but it's not a good thing because so much of it just seems like desperation or mental illness. For the single moms, divorced chicks and lonely chicks it's clear they see me as some kind of last chance and then there is the mentally ill chicks who just attach to whatever dude is there and available. At first I was really into it, got more sex and dates than I ever have but now it's just kind of depressing because I realize it's not really authentic love, just women scared of being alone.

>>85294671
>but now it's just kind of depressing because I realize it's not really authentic love, just women scared of being alone.
you thought they were capable of love?

>>85294684
>you thought they were capable of love?
Yeah, I figured I could find at least one girl who just wanted to be with me because she liked being around me. It was dumb of me I know.

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that feel when I got no joy in my life

>>85294704
I'm talking to a women I met on the internet who is unironically based, wealthier than me and say she deosn't expect anything beyond love. She lives in another country though and I honestly feel inadequte for her like she deserves so much better, Ive only dated losers in the past

>>85294704
Women and children exist and be loved
Men have to do something for Women and children to stick around.

Unfortunately this can be positive or negative, "Be super rich? Or trap her under your house and force her to sire your offspring?"

>>85294726
>Ito a women I met on the internet who is unironically based, wealthier than me
Stop talking of yourself

>>85294726
What country is she from?

>>85294729
Yeah that's part of the issue, I work in a career that's well known to make good money. Not gonna blog post about it but I think a lot of female attention i get is because of that. Might just get a hobby.

>>85293917
>"what is point and purpose for me now?".
i make a lot of money in a very SRS BSNS corpo job. this feeling doesnt go away, it has nothing to do with accomplishments and or lackthere of. this is a fundamental problem with cyborgs/robots. were just not right.

>>85294593
>status olympics
Yeah you nailed it, I can't stand the small talk and posturing.

>>85294597
>goals
Thanks. Somehow it still feels like failure. At one time I had bigger goals, but came to realize materialism is more of a burden than anything. I have yet to meet a real women who understands the concept of 'enough'. Started this journey at the tail end of my last relationship, and her reaction to my plan of starting to save/invest aggressively so I could retire early instead of funnelling all my excess income towards lifestyle enhancements and other luxuries was quite telling. Knew right then there was no salvaging that relationship.

>>85294740
Rural Spain

>>85294758
>Started this journey at the tail end of my last relationship, and her reaction to my plan of starting to save/invest aggressively so I could retire early instead of funnelling all my excess income towards lifestyle enhancements and other luxuries was quite telling. Knew right then there was no salvaging that relationship.

Girls just wanna have fu-un, oh girls...

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I have never had a social media account with my name or face.
When I was like 15 I made a MySpace account with an alias and some meme picture and I used it for 3 months after friends convinced me. Other than I've had some throwaway accounts that I used for a day and threw away.
In my 3 months of MySpace. No one cared about my post, I didn't care about anyone else's except some girls from my highschool taking half naked photos. I've never had any interest in knowing what some old friends have been up to in their life, I'd just ask them if I was.

After social media became widely used I stopped having friends.

>>85294777
>When I was like 15 I made a MySpace account

yes right before your real one

>>85294774
Oh nice anon, spanish chicks are pretty

>>85294740
Can you please blog post about it? I'm on disability payments and I'd like to LARP as a highly paid career guy for a few moments.

>>85294825
>>85294825
>Can you please blog post about it? I'm on disability payments and I'd like to LARP as a highly paid career guy for a few moments.

You'd just go on the internet and tell lies?

>>85294802
Yeah, she is very pretty. I need to get my shit together

>>85294751
Just saw this, thank you for the insight, I actually appreciate it.

>>85294758
"There is always a bigger boat".
You have not failed at all man. You brought clarity to your life and you have maintained it which is good.

>>85294827
What I meant was, if he blog posted some shit I'd then spend a minute or two LARPing in my own mind about what it would be like to be one of those guys in those high paid careers. I'd probably buy a suit and then go down to the local bar in some ritzy hotel and discuss the international trades I had made that morning which increased my portfolio by 5000 percent whilst some hot young thing fondled her olive martini and stared at me with pure intent to emancipate me of my financial burden via her seductive ways. Perhaps this is out dated now.

>>85294615
>need job google staffing agency near me
In Australia these are almost all grifts. I see some of the people working in them they are soulless husks. Like the NPCs of NPCs

>>85294574
>or messing with 10+ year old computers
>no idea what I want to pursue for the next few decades
ai. its brought the light back into IT for me. ive been burnt the fuck out on it for years until this shit started taking off. feels like computers did when i was a teenager.

>>85294577
>how can i get a 911 job
you apply. people dont want these jobs, they will 1000000% look at you if you apply. they cycle through people fast as fuck because it fucks with peoples head and the shift work is onerous

>>85294886
this is true. I think it helps to be a robot because I'm not very sympathetic. Like the women cry when they have to do baby CPR but I don't give a fuck. The job is a 24/7 deathstravaganza so I don't understand why it's traumatic to hear about a baby dying compared to anybody else.

I'm 31 and currently doing a course that will allow me to go to college and get a degree. My patience with my dead end warehouse job is growing thin, but I can't afford to just quit. I have a gf and we have been together for a few years now. She expects marriage soon but I see a lot of flaws in our relationship and don't want to end up divorced. But I also know that if I leave her then there is no chance of ever knowing tfw gf alone. I have zero social skills so she is also my only friend.

Mostly I just regret not making better choices in my youth. I'm having to accept so many situations I secretly despise in order to justify continuing my existence. I lied to myself about not wanting a normie life for so long that I am now living a mediocre trial version of that life.

Thank you for reading my diary desu

>>85294934
>a lot of flaws in our relationship
What are they?
If you're both working towards fixing them that's a good thing

>>85294881
>ai
I dabbled in stable diffusion a while back, but the novelty wore off pretty quick and I'm no artist so it was just extra steps to looking up rule34 material. Haven't got into ai chat bots due to privacy concerns. Seems like everything requires you to log in so it can remember you or whatever, which I find ridiculously intrusive. Any suggestions for something a linux fag can self host on dated but capable in its day hardware?

>>85294934
>Mostly I just regret not making better choices in my youth.
like what?

>>85294934
>My patience with my dead end warehouse job is growing thin,
lol amusing bc i have corpo college degree job and i want to get my forklift license and qq. were just not wired to be happy. but marriage with the wrong person is a big deal, itll fuck your life up permanent if and when it detonates

>>85294934
i couldn't imagine marrying a woman unless she had exceptional communication skills + self awareness + a total commitment to building the marriage throughout the lifespan.

>>85295011
>Any suggestions for something a linux fag can self host on dated but capable in its day hardware?
i am a linux fag who runs it on dated self hosted hardware. i have a 3060 which i hook up to a nuc via egpu and run stable diffusion in order to generate pictures of very fat naked women and wank over all day. combined with the mastubator i 3d printed my cocks never been treated so well.

this is running via easydiffusion and some pony models from civitai.

as for llms i have a few different solutions for different problems. i run hermes as the agent with sometimes gemma 4 12b (its very speedy, google are really getting good value from their deepmind brains) and sometimes qwen 3.5 9b (because i can make it do things that gemma gets nervous about; scrape these repos and put them in my gitea, stand up a new qemu instance and find a pirated rom for it)

right now i am paying a few cents to run deepseek flash before the price rise; ive got it decompiling a yugioh game so i can get a few mods i want made, ive got it running some fuzzing against encarta98 and adobe flash player and mac os 9, ive got it to extract the ost from a ps2 game, i got it to patch a problem function in a drum beat neural network i was training. its just really helping me clear shit out of my to do list ive had rotting there for years

Is everyone else silenty losing thier minds over how fucked the future seems. It's claustrophobic like the walls are closing in around me

>>85295168
Opposite, everything's going great. I think my sex robo maid will be a redhead.

Or do you mean politics?

>>85295204
The world is controlled by Israel and I don't see how we can prevail, theyre hellbent on destroying us

I got admitted as a solicitor (lawyer) and worked for about 6 months before crashing out and quitting due to how miserable it made me.
That was when I was 27, and I've been a NEET for 4 years now (I'm 31). I basically did nothing but play games and get extremely fat for 3 years, however I managed to lose all the weight and then some over the past year and am quite fit now. I am only now looking for work again.

I fucking despise law and just want a comfy office job but I don't think anyone is going to give some retard with an employment gap of 4 years the time of day, so I'm not even sure what to do. I am legitimately completely lost.

It goes without saying that I've never had a relationship and that no woman is going to put up with a loser NEET so yeah fucked on that front as well, despite me really wanting one.

Has anyone here had success in digging themselves out of a NEET hole of their own making and fixing their life?

>>85295117
>right now i am paying a few cents to run deepseek flash before the price rise; ive got it decompiling a yugioh game so i can get a few mods i want made, ive got it running some fuzzing against encarta98 and adobe flash player and mac os 9, ive got it to extract the ost from a ps2 game, i got it to patch a problem function in a drum beat neural network i was training. its just really helping me clear shit out of my to do list ive had rotting there for years

can you explain?
are you just telling it to do that shit or do you have expertise to really guide it throuhg all that?

I'm using claude and I know it can spin things up pretty fast, like a nice web page. But all the stuff you mentioned sounds wild.

>>85295273
>are you just telling it to do that shit or do you have expertise to really guide it throuhg all that?
as a meme my personal benchmark for a model is if i can point it at a codebase i know is fucked and tell it to find an exploit. most start babbling and crying and saying no this is illegal and this models just gone and done it. so to sort of push the limits ive been giving it less and less solid instruction with my spastic requests to see where the edge lies. and its required so very little from me other than pointing at toolsets (ie saying set up ghidra, generate a fuzzing corpus) and then itll use these things to do what it needs to. the stuff i mentioned IS wild because ive been meaning to get around to it for EONS because gpt/claude will always shit the bed and say no no no and think chink model just does it for pennies

>>85295117
Thanks, that is a lot to chew on. This stuff is advancing too fast for me to keep up with, but sounds like you are having a lot of fun with it. I'll have to give it another try.

>>85295294
lol what is funny to me about this is that a lot of what your saying sounds like some kind of occult incantation.

I'm noob at that deeper pc/tech stuff.

It sounds cool that you could create your own roms and such. Also getting the OST from a ps2 game is wild, some of those games had amazing sound tracks too.

>>85295272
only way i shifted things in my life was via severe discipline. i did go from in a NEET hole to having some work but I ended up failing in the end, due to autism and some other conditions I have. But for a temporary while I appeared rather normal. I totally ditched 4chan, videogames, and almost all of the internet though - that is where the discipline was super important - and then I also basically tried to become a gym rat and yeah. Then the normies called me boring lol. I couldn't balance it all, they wanted me to be wealthy from corporate but also to have a lot of free time but also be fit and healthy but also have many hobbies and big friend group.

Anyways, I hope things go well for you man.

>>85295322
>a lot of what your saying sounds like some kind of occult incantation
not to get too deep into that sort of thing this late in the afternoon but theres a lot of interesting shit out there about solomons seal and electrical components and how neural networks look like the kabbalistic tree of life, there IS a very strong sense of ghosts in the machine with this stuff. machine learning is fascinating stuff; it runs off 'hidden layers' so a lot of it is that stupid pepe meme about how you step in elevator and it takes you to another place and can you believe this shit? i am sure its on my phone somewhere but if youre pc posting at 6pm you are clearly as tuned in as i am and most likely know the one im referencing

>>85295303
>This stuff is advancing too fast for me to keep up with, but sounds like you are having a lot of fun with it.
the advancing IS the fun part. it was what excited me so much about computing as a teenager, that the future was here but the future of tomorrow was going to be even better. i havent felt that sort of optimism in like a decade.

>>85295335
>discipline
Yeah, it really does all come back down to that in the end, doesn't it?
I'm also autistic, I really do wonder what life would have been like otherwise but I guess we'll never know.

>>85294671
i even struck out with one of the mentally ill chicks you mentioned. she had bpd, was fresh out of an abusive relationship and was all over me for a couple weeks. i tried my best to be as mindful as possible because of her trauma and mental illness. i wore my heart on my sleeve which is the only thing i know how to do. eventually after a while she told me she was too traumatized by men to date one but i was so kind and thoughtful she was afraid of losing me and she hoped eventually after she healed we could get together again.
it's just all so tiresome.

>>85295391
When I was a teenager 3dfx cards were all the rage, and we were excited about the advancements that the next crop of 3d accelerators would bring to gaming. Now GPU's have evolved to the point where they are doing shit we could never imagine, and I'm still trying to catch up on the last 20 years of gaming I missed out on while trying to be a productive member of society. I just upgraded to a 980 Ti last summer and am still impressed with what it can do.

>>85295473
>still trying to catch up on the last 20 years of gaming I missed out on
there isnt 20 years of gaming, nothing worthwhile has come out since 2015

>be 36 year old incel NEET
>wake up in the middle the night
>hearing odd sounds
>sounds like someone quietly crying out occasionally and with an occasional smacking sound
>quietly investigate it
>it's coming from the bedroom of my nephew who lives with me
>he is fucking his girlfriend
>have to go back to sleep with the sounds of my nephew who is around half my age banging his girlfriend in the background
Just kill me man

>soon to be 35
>depression increases with each year
Is this supposed to be?

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>>85295597
>36 two days ago

From my experience, Yes

>Never bother with announcing my birthday because its just rope fuel at this point
>Decide to tell friends this year
>tell them multiple times
>mention a gift a got for my birthday
>"im going to visit family on my birthday"
>clearly no one was listening
>be yesterday
>"OMG ANON WAS IT YOUR BIRTHDAY THE OTHER DAY??"
>"why didn't you tell anyone??"
>mfw

>>85295597
I'm exactly the same, this year has been the worst yet. Seems like its the end or something.
>>85295605
>friends
??

Shook a foid's hand last week. It was a wimpy gay alien hand half as wide as mine. Reminded me of how they're only "good" for bullshit busywork jobs. Aliens already walk among us and they're shoe addicted wimps.

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>>85295611
i have one friend that i like to hang out with occasionally

>>85295385
I've heard of what you're writing about, yeah. I agree with what you wrote it is fascinating. Are you someone that has been working for years n tech?

All I'm asking for is 5 million dollars. It's not even that much.

>>85295657
yes ive been a sysad for a deacde and a pentester now for half a decade. that plus my childhood spent playing age of empires and unfucking the home computer everytime id break it trying to play ghost recon. i dont know why that game in particular fucked our machine so often