Hikikomori Thread How you holding up outcast anons? I've lost my personality at this point, had to have a female friend (no not fucking, and no still don't engage outside with society) come over and help cleanse my unit, was real suifuel nightmare trashed environment. They say your environment reflects your mental health to an extent I suppose, I honestly think I'm too broken at this point to salvage life, it was so bad years ago I was drinking myself unconcious every day, urinating in bottles because I wanted no human interaction when I was at my mom's then and didn't go past my letter box for months at a time. I tell you what though the few times I have been sent to the psych ward my last admission was fucked, I was isolating in my room there and wouldn't engage in any activities, the other patients were trying to get me to socialise and brought me food. Lol this is literal hell, so sick of the normalfags on here that don't know what misery actually is >just touch grass and go outside oh gee who woulda thought?
>>85310256I moved houses a few months back hoping things would get better but it's probably worseIt's very hot here, I've been getting a bunch of bug bites on my body, and the noise is a lot worse here too, even though that was one of the main reasons I moved, I lost my voice screaming in an autistic rage yesterday because the neighbors ran this loud fucking motor for like 6 hours straight
>>85310256do you lift weights?
>>85310305I lift a bottle of spirits to my jaw and place it back down again every 20 mins, does that count?
i hate the fact that you stop existing once school ends. one day the class empties out for summer break. and everyone forgets your interests, your love preferences, your moments...... its kinda unfair. its misleading to give me stability and then take it away. the guy who sits in my the spot the year after, doesnt know what ive been through or what i cherished or planned. a lot of things feel unresolved and unanswered. its just scary how quickly people forget. i wonder if i was ever part of anything to begin with. i miss my friend seth. wish we could play smash bros one more time
>>85310319No!>>85310331Text that nig
>>85310331It's different for me, I did some lolcow worthy antics several years ago and because of the ridicule and psyoping from those normalfags I feel chained to a prison of the mind. I literally don't go outside because of the trauma, I just want to be invisible and go about my day in society but I'm too rekt from the torment that I seclude myself instead. Sad thing is, is that they probably have forgotten about me and go on with their norman lives while not realising how much they destroyed me
>>85310360torturing yourself with cringe is pretty retardedlike you said nobody even cares man everyone does dumb shitwe all go through the transition from childhood to adolescence to adulthood and for alot of people that involves a pretty severe phase of awkwardness thats pretty standard shit
>>85310375I was admittedly going through severe psychosis at the time and wasn't situationally aware, was some cooked shit that happened but it was taken to a gangstalking level, where they only gave me two options, suicide or insanity. I hit the bottle hard, like severely, passed out drunk every night and was essentially self harming with liqour no different than someone slicing their wrists to cope. Anyway I regretted what happened on my own loopy fragile state back then but I was also having homicidal fantasies for a while about those faggots, (I haven't had an ideation like that for years now) one thing I know for certain though, no one hated me more than I hated myself, I was the biggest bully of them all to me
>>85310422Well youre speaking in the past tense so it sounds like youre doing better man good shit proud of you
I was a hikiki for 10 years, got 3 jobs after that none of them got me a gf, didn't become socialized or normalized or any of that fairy tale bullshit, now I'm a NEET gymcel
>>85310256the loss of my personality is the probably the worst part of this. i was playing a game a few days ago with a guy i met on here. i was essentially torturing him with how socially inept i am. every time i try to talk to someone it feels like i'm raping them.
Still alive, still surviving as long as the world allows me, one disappointment at a time.Today I went out to buy groceries. The lady cashier saw me struggling opening the plastic bags and offered to help so I let her. I was so nervous I passed the card on the card reader before it was ready to accept the card and it gave an error I never saw before.The Internet's population keeps growing but it feels more lonely than ever. It feels as if everyone is concentrated on the major websites, everyone's everywhere at the same time and speaking the same language, and isolated communities are a thing of the past.Even online, there's no place I really feel like I belong to. Wherever I go, whomever I talk with, I feel like an alien.I've been playing retro games. I appreciate being able to sit down, play something and be done with it without slow intros or the expectation to come back to it.
>>85310256I go outside actually but I live in a desolute area and it doesn't help soothe my anxiety about going outside further to where people are I also do a lot of things physically because I have to and my parents make me do it, doesn't help I still feel like I'm going insane
Alright, I'm gonna make a ham and cheese toastie on the frying pan, niggas have to eat
>>85310708gonna eat some toast. ebt don't hit for a couple more days :<
>>85310726Just finished my ham and cheese toastie, gonna put on the next episode of hunter x hunter while I eat, will sip some wine in-between because poorfag rn
>>85310360Are you the guy who got fucked in the ass by a dog in the laundry room?
>>85310256You remind me of a retarded women I once dated.I think she still has these issues.
>female friendStopped reading. Not just saying that, I actually stopped reading lol.Stop being a pussy or kys
>>85310928She literally just pities me, like leaves encrouging supporting notes and asks if I'm doing ok, there's zero sexual attraction towards me in her eyes, I can see it. Besides, I never make the effort to see her she always comes here and knows I'm going to be quiet a lot of the time, I'm isolated 99% of the time anyway. I don't even understand why she'd want to subject herself to be in the company of a secluded loser.>Oh boo hoo wahh wahh, I literally see no one ever and masturbate daily to the thought of being remotely close to a foid Fuck up cunt, what would you do in my shoes? Huh? The house was a fucking trash heap, she saw peak depression for a change and vibes with me regardless of my flaws, nothing will ever come out of it, she's the exact opposite, a social butterfly. Yeah I shoulda been a giga based hiki like you anon and autistically screeched "Fuck outta here bitch" how can I ever be redeemed in your eyes oh wise sage?
Ehh fuck it, next payment of free gibs imma get a prostitute to do an outcall and dom me, so sick of my right hand it's a toxic relationship atm
