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>be 40+
>"How did you get your first gf?"
>never happened
>still waiting

>>85312679
I'm 28, how do I turn my life around so I don't end up like you?

>>85312679
OP here and I'm 20 KHHV. Probably wasting the easiest period of dating life in university. Wanted to hear stories for inspiration/motivation.

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>>85312687
>how do I turn my life around so I don't end up like you?
...get a gf.

>>85312711
thanks mate, I never thought of that!

>>85312631
We lived in different countries, basically at opposite ends of Europe, but both went to this fancy model UN thing.
Spent most of the two weeks we were there talking exclusively to one another.
Kept talking after the camp ended.
Eventually she convinced her parents to fly to my country for a holiday weekend so she could sneak away from them and we could fuck.
I couldn't get hard. Ended up locking myself in the bathroom, swearing at my dick, slapping it and trying not to cry. Still, we had a nice time making out in the park and shit before that awkwardness.
Somehow that didn't blow it. We ended up dating long-distance for the next couple of years. Spent every day of every uni holiday together. Went backpacking through Asia and S America together. The memories of that relationship are bittersweet now but God we had some good times together.

>girl posts on another board on 4chan
>I answer tongue in cheek
>get her contact before thread gets deleted
>chat
>live not that far away so meet up
>sex
Never underestimate the reach of 4chan.

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>come to the incel board where mentally ill manchildren who given up on life lurk at
>"OMG BROS WHATS UP?? GREENTEXT A STORY OF WHEN YOU FIRST GOT YOUR GF!!! XDDDD"

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>>85312631
>Friends with the popular kids at high school
>Get invited to this party
>Think its a regular party, instead it is the high school equivalent of an orgy
>Equal amount of girls and guys invited, all of them looking for a partner for the night, except me
>Get in argument with dad before I leave for the place. Sad and decide I'm gonna get wasted
>Drank on the tube, Already drunk when I get there. Guys are laughing at me.
>Girls arrive, guys are getting pissed at me because I'm acting like an idiot.
>They start partnering up at different times, I'm just getting more and more drunk.
>Spot group of girls giggling at me in the corner
>Stumble over and one of them approaches
>startmakingout.jpg
>Don't remember but turns out I sat with her for an hour
>"Let's go to the bathroom anon."
>Nervous as fuck, never done anything more than kissing
>End up giving her a handjob in the bathroom
>Forgot to lock the door, other guy opens it
>Kicks us out because he needs to piss
>She tells me to keep going even though we're outside in the hallway
>Nope out and leave her on the floor
>? minutes later she's passed out and I see her friends laying her on the couch
>One of her friends of them comes up to me
>She's even more wasted than me
>startmakingout2.jpg
>She's not even that attractive
>Keeps begging me to let her suck me off but I keep refusing
>Angry she won't leave me alone but too nervous to start a conflict
>Spent the rest of my night with her
>Next morning second girl texts me apologising
>Second girl ends up as my girlfriend for 2 years
>The night was a running joke for the whole relationship.
>Was always awkward when the 3 of us were together somewhere.

I'm not proud of this, but at least back then I was less socially anxious than I am now. Likely will never do some crazy shit like that again but at least I experienced it, kinda wish I didn't though.

>>85312679
I hate that talking about sex and partners has become normalized in this board.
This used to be my board, now normies seized it.

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>>85312862
One for the gallery.

>>85312924
Great, why don't you stroke my cock while you're at it? He has no reason to make a thread like that.

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>>85312946
>why don't you stroke my cock
back to lgbt with you

>>85312918
What was this board like before that?

>>85313029
Pre-pandemic robots genuinely "ree'd" if someone mentioned shaking the hands of another woman.
Just touching a woman at some point in your life meant you had already achieved what most of us never have.

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>>85313029
>What was this board like
more interesting and entertaining
more emotional relateable
faster

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I was a homeless fat weeb from 15 to 18, and when I was 17 one of the staff members at the youth shelter wanted me. She was 29 with kids, we dated for a while and I spent a lot of nights at her house. Let me drink wine and cooked steaks for me, it was a huge relief from the shelter.
I honestly regret giving it up to a single mother hag, but she introduced me to her much sexier 17 year old sister (who I went on the be with for years) after we broke up.

>>85312862
Fuck you schlomo. I made the thread because I know that unlike me there are normalniggers on this board. Rather than rejecting change maybe we can all learn.

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>>85313164
nta, but
>maybe we can all learn
Autists can't learn from normies how to do normie things. And we all know that it's the tism why we are forever alone.

>>85312631
36 years old and still have not had my first one

>>85313209
I don't have the tism. I was just undersocialized. I made friends in uni so I'm perfectly capable of human connection.

>>85313542
>I don't have the tism
>I made friends in uni
Yeah, most aspies can do that. But the friend s are usually aspies too. But getting in a relationship with a woman is an entirelly different story. That needs neurotypicallity.

>>85313594
>That needs neurotypicallity.
how do you explain autistic people in relationshits?

>>85313594
I'd rather die trying than give up and die alone. I refuse to accept defeatism. There must be a way.

>>85313685
>>barely ever touch her cause I'm a total sperg and she said she was waiting till marriage
Lmao what a cuck

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>>85313600
>autistic people in relationshits
That's probably a psyop.

My experience is the following:
>

I dunno if it even counts, but I technically got my first gf in pre-k and went on "dates" with her until like 4th grade.

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>>85313842
are you saying they lied for status reasons?

>>85313842
I have autistic friends and some do in fact have a girlfriend.

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>>85313909
>I have autistic friends
>and some have a girlfriend
They could be simulated. You know, npcs in the matrix. Reality is fake.

>>85312631
She was severely mentally ill and had a virginity fetish.

>>85313952
>virginity fetish
How did you find her? Not like most walk around with a sign saying "I'm a virgin".

>>85312631
cute smile
that is all

>>85314653
In an r9k Skype group where she was hunting for victims.

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>>85314813
>r9k Skype group

>>85312631
I've never had a real girlfriend. In middle school or highschool there were some girls who were my "girlfriend" but we never did anything past kissing, hugging, holding hands. It wasn't a real relationship

>>85312631
>met online
>she was a virgin and mega autistic
>the contrast of her being sexy and then being autistic extremely jarring
>did all of our firsts together
>moved in together
>held her hand to be a semi-functioning member of society
>years and years of childish lovey dovey romance
>never had any arguments
>proposing next year
It gets better frens

>>85313926
I think it's possible but you have to get very lucky, in some specific controlled environments autists can be pretty good at forming connections. But they're not good at creating these environments and normalfags are not helping either.

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>>85314999
>spoiler
Good luck anon. I wish I had your life. Never had any luck with online dating. Most girls I can reach are already in the DMs of 20 other guys. Spaces that aren't built for dating don't have women and I'd feel like a creep anyways in reaching out.

>how
i was just existing in my house and my sister and her friend were annoying me then my sisters friend asked me to be her bf and i said yes
>what was it like
idk what to explain it but it didnt seem that different. actually it makes me feel subhuman thinking back on it and not having a lot to say/feel

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>>85312631
>be autistic fuck match with qt tomboy on bumble
>take her to a museum of art thing at night for a first date
>dollar beer baseball game for 2nd date
>go steady after taking her to the black rodeo
break up when she moves for work

>>85312631
>your first gf
am i supposed to have one of those?
am I suppoed to have multiple? since that's what first implies?

fuck off normie. go back to watching family guy

>>85312631
>met her on a WoW private server
>lived together for a while
>she's an amazing friend but a nightmare as a girlfriend
>break up with her and my hair suddenly stopped falling out
>somehow still on good terms as friends

>>85312631
>be me
>be 39 khhv
That's it. That's the greentext.

>>85312631 (OP)
>How did you get your first gf?
I was 15. We lived in the same neighborhood and went to school together. I was close with her best friend, who I would basically hang out with every day, so I had her ask the girl what she thought about me, and it went from there. Even now, later in life, I've realized that legitimately make the best wingman. It's a form of social proof that you're not a complete schizo.

>>85317161
*women legitimately make the best wingman

>>85312631
Next door apartment lady. She was a hikki femcel and mom thought it would be nice for me to keep her company, but she ended up pedo-ing me.

All things constI kind of liked it, even if it did fuck me up some.

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>>85312631
>your first gf

>>85312631
>be me
>about 16 years old
>horny asf and dtf
>no gf and the only opportunities I've had up to this point were an extremely drunk girl my age, which I rejected as it felt like I was using her
>spend most of my day jerking off and playing guitar
>decide to start following random women on insta
>see one with a pretty face and what appeared at the time as good music taste
>decide to shoot my shot
>became my first gf of 2.5 years

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>be 28
>blackpilled as fuck, at a point of no return
>have a punk band
>ended playing a show in your typical dingy venue
>qt shortie fan approaches me out of nowhere
>oh yeah.jpg
>we do small talk
>night gets really late
>me and drummer have to go
>manage to find her IG while traveling back to hometown
>add her
>"I like you"
>she responds with eyes emoji
>gets flustered, but eventually says "I like you too"
>we date
>she actually likes me bros
>we date more
>and more
>and eventually I'm cumming on her face after some good time fucking
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>but nothing lasts forever
>after some time she starts avoiding me
>ghosting and all that
>oh no.png
>almost an entire month passes without seeing her
>one day she calls me
>"anon I don't think we should keep dating"
>fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
>I accept defeat
>not without telling her she's a fucking asshole
>another month passes
>she texts me back
>"ANON I MISS YOU, EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT ME IS TRUE, I SHOULD'VE NEVER MADE THAT CHOICE"
>want to tell her to go fuck herself
>but I feel so lonely
>we date again
>she seemed really eager to please me
>long passionate kissing, and apologizing for leaving me and all that
>two weeks pass
>she starts avoiding me again
>OHMYGODFUCKINGKILLME.jpg
>decide to no longer be a simp and tell her to fuck off for real this time
>"ok anon, sorry for not being up to your standards"
>another week goes by
>IG feed shows me she's with a new guy as first post
>.____________.
>they later marry and she gets preggo

when you're a sub 5, life gives you a taste of happiness just to take it a few moments later

>>85312679
>>still waiting
How? I gave up at 22 when I finished college a virgin. 38 and pornmaxxed now

>>85312631
I ended up being an abusive shitlord to her because I was mimicking the way my parents acted

To this day she still stalks me though

>>85312631
>18, playing World of Warcraft
>early Wotlk, join a dungeon run with randoms
>one of them is a female death knight
>good banter in the party chat during the run, keep talking to her for a bit
>she adds me to her Skype group, basically an early day discord orbiter server with her and her simps
>she sends some pictures of herself
>hot af
>hang out in her orbiter group for months, enjoying my time actually having some female interaction
>talk to another Wow friend about her, show him the pics she publicly sent
>this guy is old school /b/ raider type
>yo these pics are fake as fuck bro
>wtf
>she's been sending pictures and lying about everything for over a year
>me and this guy gather evidence and make a blog post about it
>post on the realm forum because she's quite famous on the server
>it blows up, her orbiter group collapses, she stops coming online
>months pass, suddenly she slides into my DMs
>start talking again, more in private, she's more open
>she isn't remorseful for catfishing but she also doesn't hold a grudge against me
>she's still pretty cool, eventually end up telling her I like her
>she likes me too
>meet up a month later irl, takes my virginity
>we date for a little over a year, seeing each other 4 times in total, in length
She was pretty good looking irl too, but kinda chubby.

>>85312631
>17
>hanging out with friends in front of my house
>neighbor (female) pulls up in her car with a bunch of her classmates in it
>"anon, come over and meet my friend"
>"this is anonette"
>anonette is in back seat. it's dark can barely see her but looks OK
>"she's coming to the party tomorrow night"
>hanging at party and she walks over to me
>"hi anon. I'm anonette. Neighbor introduced us yesterday"
>this girl is 4'10, 95#, c-cups that look huge on her frame
>start dating (as much as 16 & 17 year olds can date)
>few months later we're doing the horizontal mambo

>>85312631
Jesus, she's so pretty. I'll never have wife like this.

>>85312631
I know you fags guys cum to webms like this like OmG sHe Is So BeAuTiFuL but for me these blatant display of female narcissism pisses me off every time. I wanna permanently ruin that face of hers. She wouldn't act so smug then.

>>85319939
I don't. I just watched her, thinking how pretty she is and how I wish I had such pretty wife. When she kept smiling in this cute way I couldn't help but smile a tiny bit too. It's a bittersweet feeling.

>>85319960
Imagine a guy doing this exact webm, how obnoxious he'd come off.

>>85319976
Difference is I'm not attracted to guys.

>>85316202
>met her on a WoW private server
>lived together for a while
>>85317588
>decide to shoot my shot
>became my first gf of 2.5 years

This is what I don't get. People itt just "shoot their shot" and becoming romantically involved is so natural it's skipped all together. What about the first time one of you said "I love you" to the other? The first touch of hands? The first kiss? How does trust develop? I have had friends but never got beyond that.

>>85319939
I don't cum to OP. I saved it because of what you said. It shows how shallow female attention can be. Foids could be much kinder to us but they chose not to be.

>>85312631
I was in 7th grade drawing something and meowing.
She kept meowing back.
So now it's the two of us meowing in the back of class.
She was maybe a 15 inches taller than me at that point. Maybe 2nd tallest girl in Middle school.

>>85312631
It never happened but you already knew that.
>>85312687
You can't. If it was going to happen it would have happened by now. You're done.

>>85312706
>inspiration/motivation
Why do people keep thinking this is some sort of puzzle or game they can win? You have to get the girl to agree to it. She quite literally doesn't have to. If she wanted to be with you she would just kind of be with you. You're not Chad, so she doesn't.

>>85319877
>>85319939
>>85321425
Rename webm Tutorial Mode because that's what Tutorial Mode looks like

All I can think of is getting back at women for having such piss easy lives

>>85322646
Save it and rename it yourself.

>>85312631
Im gay and got a girlfriend for some fucking reason. I was so attracted to straight men in porn that I went out and fucked a woman just to be like them. Shit was pretty cash, and I've just pretended to be fully straight with her since then.

>>85318163
You're the only one that took the correct route here. The way is to forget about trying to have sex, and start enjoying life and other aspects of life, when you're horny just jerk off and move on.

>>85312631
I don't have a gf.

>>85312631
>be me freshman year
>14
>think it'd be really funny to wear a suit to school
>do it
>look fly as a kite
>suit unironically gives me a boost of confidence
>see this shy art girl drawing during my history class
>approach her
>ohmygodiloveyourart.jpg
>she says something i dont rlly remember this was a long fucking time ago
>shy and autistic
>we chat for a while and we become friends
>she gives me her number
>talk with her more
>learn about her parents
>divorced, mom is batshit crazy biblethumper, step-dad is abusive, dad is SUPER abusive trucker
>ask her to hang out
>we go to the botanical gardens and then back at her house
>i'm super tired so i crash on her bean bag and she plays with my hair for 30 minutes
>fuckithinkimighthavefeelingsforyou.gif
>day after hangout, confess to her
>she doesn't think it'll work out cuz i'm nonreligious and her mom's a bible-thumper
>convince her
>now in a relationship
>things start out rocky but smooth out
>she keeps our relationship secret from her mom because if her mom found out then she'd lose her shit
>see her every tuesday and thursday when she's at her dad's house
>she comes over to my place, we makeout and cuddle
>continues for weeks
>eventually, her mom found out,,,, cuts contact with me for a few days
>comes back "haha hey anon my mom found out sorry i don't think we can be together"
>try to convince her to get back together with me, this time more secret
>chats will be anonymous
>somehow, she agrees, knowing that if her mom found out again, that she would ruin her life

>>85323737
cont.
>i think the secrecy was a turn on for her
>she gets more sexual with me
>dryhumping the next time we meet
>then idk what the word for dryhumping without clothes on
>too afraid for actual sex, i didn't have condoms,, both of us too afraid to risk it
>sometimes i'd get angry at her and ghost her
>be me, super fucking manipulative kid
>eventually, leave for summer camp
>she writes me letters, my letters never reached her, but she keeps writing me
>at summer camp, i think we both realized that we didn't really need eachother to function
>she reconnected with her online best friend
>really happy for her
>come home from summer camp
>talk with her
>everythingscooltillitaint.png
>jealous of how much time she's spending with her friend and not me
>really jealous
>almost entirely cut off contact because of it
>trying to guilt-trip her into me being the only person in her life again
>she doesn't fall for it
>tells me it's time we break up
>okay.jpg
>whatareyagonnado.gif
>block her on everything
>realize how much of a piece of a shit i was several weeks later
>realize that i was only really with her for physical affection and affirmation
>realize i needed to get my shit together

and so i got my shit together, started working out, eating healthy, and then that got boring so i stopped doing it

>>85312631
only ever had an online one, met her on some roleplay thing for nintendo games and shit, other friends too but never exchanged contact info for other sites. think i was around 10-11 she was 13-14, didnt last long i broke up with her after like 2 months cause i was a retard lol.