Ever since adolescence I've had issues with shitting. (N.b., I write this with no intent to gross out, but rather with the aim of figuring out how strange my history is, and possibly sharing useful tips with others.) My problems haven't really been gastrointestinal, but rather tightly focused on the anorectal area: my shits always seemed to be accompanied by a baseline soreness, and large ones in particular would result in as much as a day's worth of pain and recurring mess. Even after I cleaned the anus spotless (often to the point of topical irritation), more residue would appear within a few hours; I refer to this as "precipitation", since it slowly precipitates outward from the rectum.[1/4]
For a long time I simply accepted that this was my lot in life. At one point I saw a colorectal doctor about the soreness problem; he said I had a faily minor hemorrhoidal tendency, and wasn't really able to provide much help. Over time, however, I made two significant breakthroughs. The first was my ice cube method - which I discovered, as it were, by accident. One day in my twenties I decided to try shoving an ice cube up my ass for sexual gratification; it wasn't gratifying enough to repeat on those grounds, but I soon realized the immense potential that it had for my anorectal hygiene. In short, my method is to take a prism-shaped ice "cube", shape it into a smooth lozenge under hot water (the stream should be as full and hot as possible, as doing otherwise causes pitting), and shove it right up my ass; although some of my early attempts involved lube, I soon found that the natural smooth wetness of the ice was all I needed for insertion. Leave it in for about a minute, and then expel. The numbing and flushing effect that this has after a difficult shit really is exquisite; it actually cleans out the shit residue that clings to the rectal walls (the root cause of both the pain and the mess that afflicted me), allowing me to leave the bathroom with a clean, comfortable ass where previously there might have been hours of agony. I don't really know how else this could be easily achieved, short of some much more complicated regimen of enemas. (And don't even think about suggesting a bidet; those shoot water at the anus but not up into the rectum.) Occasionally two cubes would be necessary, and on rare occasions I would even try an application of "preemptive ice" before shitting, but generally one cube afterward would suffice.[2/4]
For a few years I contented myself with this method, finding the use of ice lozenges necessary for perhaps one third of my shits; I do maintain that if there were a world leaderboard for number of ice cubes ever inserted in one's asshole, I would be at or near the top. However, a second breakthrough - again, accidenally discovered - has led me to a higher degree of fecal mastery and drastically reduced my need for ice. Living with my mother and keeping late hours, I found that I preferred to shit in the privacy of the night, but at the same time I didn't want to risk waking her by flushing the toilet. Eventually I tried a radical experiment: floor shitting. I took two kitchen chairs and placed them side-by-side with a small gap between, laying some paper towel between them; I then squatted with one foot on each chair and shat into the gap. (Shitting in the kitchen may, of course, raise concerns, but we had already kept our elderly cat's litter box in the kitchen for some time, so I figured this was really no worse.) After completion, I roll the shit up in its paper towel, place it in a small plastic sandwich bag and throw it out; note that it must be thrown into the outside trash, as these bags are sadly not impermeable to smell and will stink up an indoor trash bin almost immediately. Now, although the initial aim of this method was mere stealth, I soon found that it had substantial other benefits; the squatting position and the "gravity assist" of effectively limitless space below (where before turds would often hit the toilet bowl before separation) both resulted in a much cleaner and more comfortable shitting process, greatly reducing the amount of residue left on the rectal walls and hence the need for ice. I now take almost all my shits this way; notably, since I long ago took to sink pissing, I rarely touch a toilet at all these days.[3/4]
In the end, I have little basis for determining how freakish my fecal odyssey really is, but I think it may be notable enough to warrant recording. I do wonder, for instance, how common it is for people to go about their daily lives with shit-covered rectal walls - afflicted, perhaps, by the "marker" problem of recurring mess, but not sufficiently impelled by physical discomfort to do anything about it. In any case, if other anons have been silently suffering with similar problems, I hope that my experiences may be of some use to them.[4/4]
>>85331137experiment with your diet more in every way and see what works, otherwise its a disease or something like that, go to a poop doctor then, /thread
>>85331159i changed my mind fucking kill yourself how can you just fucking shit in the kitchen and not feel like a subhuman shiteater indian, just shit in the toilet, flush and tell your mother to shove a tree up her ass if she complains.sink pissing is fine though i do that too its so much more convenient, remember to keep the water running though while you piss so there's no residue after.
