You haven't let the good in you disappear, right, anon? You're still the same kind person deep inside?
I was halfway through typing out a post but being honest it was just a less verbose version of the final monologue in American Psycho.I've looped all the way back around to being an edgy 14 year old except I'M a grown man now and can actually hurt people around me. Not good!!
>>85413834Yeah, not good. I'm struggling as well. Ever since I met my wife and my parents died, I observe my psyche has become more uncaring. I still care, just less. I guess this is what ageing is like.
>>85413834>except I'M a grown man now and can actually hurt people around meGood.
>>85413970>my wifeFuck off normie
>>85413806Of course not. Some how I've been on 4chan for nearly 20 years and I've seen the posters here get more bitter and evil over the years. It's never happened to me because I have high willpower and resistant to brainwashing. Sad about everyone else though.
>>85414001oh go fuck off "im da best" whatever im not even foaming at the mouth rn and screaming at my computer
>>85413834>I've looped all the way back around to being an edgy 14 year old except I'M a grown man now and can actually hurt people around me. Not good!!ya same. actually i was more "empathetic" as a kid/teen. now im purposefully an asshole cause i dont like other people. world has turned me into a jaded prick. people who are "good" or spiritual just dont win, yet im still a sucker and a loser despite losing that part of myself. whatever atleast i dont feel bad about selfish behaviour anymore.
>>85413806>You're still the same kind person deep inside?I actually am and I kinda hate myself for itBeing myself means being taken advantage of because I put my trust in the wrong peopleNowadays, I try not to mingle with people as much because I *know* I'll fall for their sob stories
>>85413806something about that reply at the bottom bothers me a bit and i can't quite articulate why
>>85414069its worse than outright mocking. it feels facetious but you know its 100% genuine. chin up, king.
>>85413806Imagine blaming yourself for any of this, none of the misfortune that befell him is his fault. The only thing he did wrong here was give 20 bucks to a whore and get not get anything for it.
>>85414089this, never blame yourself. no one ever does besides internet spergs. to test this theory, try to confront a normie on any bad behaviour, no matter how small. they will be stubborn and escalate 9/10 times. you are at an inherent disadvantage if you "take responsibility" like internet wannabe sages tell you to do.
>>85414089Seriously. chin to the fucking skies. fuck whores
>>85414103but being a good person is good
>>85414152its never gotten me anything and doesnt make me feel good. just today i picked up trash off the ground and threw it away, i felt nothing, idk why i even did it. also i am paranoid that being a "good person" backfires in a karmic kind of way
>>85413993I worked really hard at being a normal, I almost killed myself before I lost virginity at 27 almost a decade ago. It has downsides, but I don't suffer suicidal ideation anymore.
>>85414175you're not supposed to get anything out of it. it's just the correct thing to do. i cant explain it, being good is all i have and i hope it means something
>>85414209>you're not supposed to get anything out of itpeople say this but i want to get something out the material. i'm just not interested in doing something for nothing.
>>85413806I often feed homeless people but no one knows. I still don't really think I'm a good person because I also do not so good things on a whim.
>>85414175It depends on the mindset, I guess. But I'm so psychologically damaged that if I feel happy it makes me want to cry. But I still want to be happy. Doing good makes me feel less worthless.
>>85414069It's the emoticon for me. It feels flippant and sarcastic.
>>85414238that is good. do what makes you happy. i am just one bitter guy on the internet.
>>85413806can't lie a lot of it evaporated a long time ago. lol.
>>85414037Why cause more suffering? It is the same either way, but you could help someone enough by being kind (even if they aren't consciously receptive) that they end up being kinder in their next interaction, so on and so forth. When you are an asshole, you trigger your own cortisol, it triggers your fight response. I'm obviously not perfect, but it is better to just be kind, in my opinion.
>>85414283i have the mindset that if i can hurt randoms it will eventually wrap back around to hurting those who hurt me. kinda retarded but the world works in strange ways. its kinda like how people kill animals to "curse" people. so really im just a superstitious fool
>>85414206Damn wish you did kill yourself
>>85414334How, though? You are pretty much just hurting yourself and innocents when you do this. The same shit that happened to you. Why continue the cycle?
>>85414358why not? i dont have much else to live for. not much interests me and connecting with people feels impossible. all of my bridges besides family are burned and usually for reasons beyond my control. most importantly, im bored, and being kind doesnt interest me, videogames dont do much for me, tv/movies i can only watch one time and then im bored. i still do some hobbies but honestly im just waiting for the next life, and am too afraid of suicide.
>>85414399Because you are hurting other innocents the way you were hurt. You are only hurting yourself. You hurting innocents does not come around and hurt the ones who hurt you, it just hurts people who were like once-innocent you.
>>85414425>You hurting innocents does not come around and hurt the ones who hurt yousays who? you cant know that for sure, and it gives me hope and reason to live. besides, youre just repeating yourself now, tell me what i havent heard/thought before.
>>85414448There is absolutely no logic in that and you know it. How would that even work?
>>85414458didnt say there was logic. is there any logic behind being a good person? not necessarily, you can "logic" away any argument. maybe someone i piss off gets distracted by the memory while driving and hits someone i hate. world doesnt run on logic, just luck and circumstance
>>85414472>It is the same either way, but you could help someone enough by being kind (even if they aren't consciously receptive) that they end up being kinder in their next interaction, so on and so forth. When you are an asshole, you trigger your own cortisol, it triggers your fight response. This is the logic behind being a good person. There is also logic behind why what you're doing is illogical, as I laid out. Logic is the reason we know anything at all. The odds of that happening are exceedingly low, almost non-existent, and you are just needlessly harming others to make yourself feel better. You are just as bad as the people who hurt you, at that rate.
>>85413806Fuck being good when it means being taken advantage of and treated like shit.
>>85414525You can be a good person and still have boundaries. That's the balance. Most people don't seem to understand you can do both. You will push away any good people you meet and end up perpetually alone, if you continue down this path.
>>85414492i dont believe in your logic or worldview so it doesnt apply to me. you may aswell be arguing with a wall. and odds never factor in for me, i believe in synchronicity. i have never claimed to be a good person, and i dont much care for this world. maybe it shouldnt have just stood around while i suffered if it doesnt want me to return the favour.
>>85414535Alright, well, since I am talking with a wall, then good luck, anon. Synchronicities work both ways. The suffering you cause innocents will come back to you.
>>85413806Well, this is where I say, he's the one who probably needs the 20 bucks, lol. Don't kill yourself for "the good", it's not worth it. Is better to make yourself and the world better selfishly for yourself.
>>85413806I don't understand this mentality that because you're a man it's somehow virtuous to martyr yourself in circumstances where the entire world shits on you and pushes you down. Fuck no. You should be striving for greatness. Charity is something you do once you already achieved greatness and have love to spare. There's no virtue in giving away your last sandwich to someone else and starving to death. Fuck that shit.
>>85414549yes, i'm glad today i met the creator of the world's rules, and i am glad they are so certain of my suffering.
>>85414530Most people are awful and the few good ones are hard to spot and recognise. I'd rather go this lonely path that I already know than the alternative of unnecessary, avoidable hurt.
>>85414525there's being good, there's being evil, there's being a dumbass and there's being smart. Obviously it's good to help people in need, but you probably should not send the Nigerian prince in your emails money or yah know, try to stop a shoot out. Ain't hard to figure the balance senpai.
>>85414568Well, you are so certain of other's suffering, which you purposefully, needlessly, and uselessly cause to attempt to harm those who hurt you. If that's how it works, why wouldn't it come back to bite you, since you are also needlessly causing harm?
>>85414574You're hurting anyway. Why not just try to strike that balance?
>>85414596i never said it wouldnt, but just that you know nothing. the fact that you throw around terms like "cortisol" proves you are nothing but a mindless drone. you think its your emotions which cause your body to degrade? not the toxins which are pumped into the air daily from cars? or the food made from tortured animals? the world is a collective manifestation of human will, i am just more tuned into my own beliefs than you are. think for yourself for a change.
>>85414472No you can't. Not unless you torture definitions and do a bunch of obviously retarded bullshit. That being said I understand your position, it makes sense and is logical, just is not the best solution for anyone. I'm not very religious, but there's a reason why you forgive, but do not forget, as if you kill yourself getting your revenge on nobody, you're a dumbass just like the guy going into poverty by donating all their money. Evil is far easier to do in a dumbass way than good, which is why I highly recommend not doing it.
>>85414615When did I say those things don't hurt? My take is based on the science of the nervous system and I have developed it myself, through research. Cortisol triggers your fight/flight response, which can absolutely hurt your body and your own mood. This is undisputed. When you verbally lash out at others for no good reason, you are quite literally getting the same response internally that you give them. If you're kind, you can do the opposite. Feel free to look into it.
>>85414593Obviously but it goes deeper than that and is not as easy as you make it seem.>>85414599Because there will be bad people who benefit off my kindness despite undeserving. Don't want to be taken for a fool."Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
>>85414639not how it works. i am just more human than you are. keep believing in your phony chemicals made up by the government to control your behaviour i guess. ignorance is bliss.
>>85414644>Because there will be bad people who benefit off my kindness despite undeserving. Don't want to be taken for a fool.Not if you're not kind to those who show you they are undeserving? You just become detached and neutral towards that person, so you don't inadvertently end up damaging yourself.
>>85414647It is how it works. Far more proof that is how it works than "if I'm mean to a random, then they will strike someone who was mean to me with their car." I am just as human as you. I have my conspiracies and do not trust the government, but, if anything, the government denies how trauma and the nervous system work, so they can keep sending people to war. Look up the history of PTSD, for example.
>>85414644No, it's pretty simple. Stuff you want to do for yourself is generally good when done for anyone including yourself, assuming they'd want it. When in doubt, don't do thing that you're told is evil, and do thing that you're told helps people. And yeah exceptions are the rule, but don't read into that too much, you're smart, you can figure it out. The real question is whether it's painful for you to behave or whether you want to.
>>85414647Uh, yeah, so the main issue here is actually that you are denying your own material mind body connection. It's not a big issue. Yeah, the chemicals exist. It's literally how most drugs work, they just replace or mimic those chemicals. This is peak drugs don't affect me I'm stronger than them logic. That being said I have no idea what the other person was saying. And yeah some people get screwed with a bad balance of those chemicals, either from just birth, or some weird interaction in the future.
>>85414042Same. I wish I could become my inner demon, but I just can't do it. I am too nice, and I avoid people simply because I know I will be taken advantage of if I interact with anyone.
>>85414716I recommend looking into the effects of being aggressive on the nervous systems versus being kind.
>>85413834Same. My inner monologue now refers to others as "humans" ("I hate it when humans litter"). Its kinda cringe, but its genuine.
>>85413806Is this a lot of alcohol for Americans? I used to drink one or two of these every two day in college because I was depressed afNow I moved on to opioids
>>85414737Eh, what do you think is gonna happen? Someone has a heart attack? Tough. Most of that stuff does not matter lol.
>>85414811It is a lot of alcohol for anyone, assuming you down it all at once lol. That's vodka that's 37% alcohol. Good way to get black out drunk, which I assume is the point in that picture. My alcoholic aunt would do two of a different brand.
>>85414843I used to drink 35 to 45% one, sometimes 50% but it was very rare. And two of these little ones sometimes. I went to an isolated bench in a park and spent a few hours there before going home I think I did way too much than I should back in the day, but believe it or not it helped me
>>85414081If a woman calls you king and she isn't touching your weiner it's like her high fiving you it is totally cucked
>>85414867you're probably fine unless you chugged it. Remember, if you drink in the park for 2 hours you aren't gonna have the same effect as dumbass who's sitting with a razor trying to black out.
>>85414814A build up of stress and keeping your nervous system in flight or fight can cause issues like that, yes. On top of making your own mental health worse. Once again, please read into it on your own. Being kind has an opposite effect, putting the nervous system in a rest state.
>>85414716no im sick of this. its the way humans live currently that causes this malaise. people throw around buzzwords like testosterone, estrogen, cortisol now, all at random times. you didnt hear about this shit for years, then suddenly its everywhere for a little while, and soon everyone will stop mentioning it, its like bad humours and bloodletting, just mass hysteria. and offloading of issues onto the individual while actually terrible people will never take responsibility for their actions and can conveniently take drugs or meditate to avoid the effects of these vague afflictions.
>>85413806You need to remove this idea of being a "good person" if you want to get anywhere. Especially if you are autistic, you should never be nice, and use people then throw them away. You will become attached to people and your only sense of self worth will come from being a slave to others
>>85413834>>85413970>>85413988>>85413993>>85414001satanic jews were right about the goyim lmao
i don't think i'm a good person because i am aware that all human nature is intrinsically selfish.for example, i am only kind to others because seeing them hurt or suffering would make me feel bad
I always try to be a good person, but I don't expect good things to happen to me just because of that. I'm in my late 30s but I don't have any hope for the future, at least I'm not being a horrible cunt to others though.
>>85413806Everytime I am good, everyone just steps on me. I know it's wrong to ask for something in return after you do something good, but jesus christ it gets tiresome and frustrating when you've lived like this all your life
>>85413806its hard to be kind around grownups, they take it as submissiveness and weakness
Of course not.The secret is to never interact with anyone or express goodness ever. If you do, people will suck it out of you and leave.You can't lose what you don't throw away.
>>85413806No. I have become the underground man
>>85413806My straw that broke the camels back with street beggers was when I gave a guy 2 bucks and he saw a ten dollar bill and begged me for it being both the beggar and the chooser. Cunt.
>>85414001nobody is resistant to brainwashing
>>85413806>his last act is to simp for a whoreHe should khs, indeed>>85413834Being an edgelord just hits different when you're 35 and live alone out in the countryside, doesn't it?
>>85413806I dont know. I feel like I've become less of everything as I become older. Little less me, little less anything.I've got less fucks to give, but consequently, less passion about everything.
>>85417625The exterior always chips as the time passes, but that doesn't mean you can't maintain it. You can rust the same way you can shine, choose it yourself.
>>85417713I'd wish that was true, but what nobody tells you about aging, probably as to not spoil whatever good years you do have on earth, is that time has a way of eating away at your spirit. And despite my best efforts at keeping a childlike curiosity, time has eaten away at that as well.I'd wish it wasnt so. I wish I had the same passion about alot of things as I did when I was 15, 20, 25, but at some point you just find yourself threading old ground even on paths you've never walked before.
>>85413806I'm just myself, I don't think much about whether I'm nice or not, I think the last "kind" thing I did was a month ago I think.
That's karma in action. Single mothers are all very bad people and extremely abusive. He gave her 20 bucks? Why not go by the junkie shelter to give them free used hep c needles, then give an arsonist some kerosene and tannerite on the way back home? Are we sure there were no kittens he could have kicked on the way home or at least a cricket to pull the wings off of? Makes no sense to just stop at enabling a single mother. If you're going to be an evil piece of shit then commit all the way. Already going to hell so punch your ticket properly.
>>85414744Most "people" don't even deserve the courtesy of being referred to as human. I'm convinced that if we converted half or more of the human detritus that currently inhabits this planet directly into farmland and fertilizer, we would genuinely be far better off for it, and they would provide far more value than they currently do.
>>85417899go to bed thiel.
>>85413834You must grow anon or something like that. We must be better men.
>>85413806I'm still kind to people in general but I can't deny that involuntary celibacy has burned out a lot of my respect for women. Not because I think women are like inherently evil or anything but they just make consistently bad decisions that end up hurting me in the long run, like dating abusechads and then coming to me for friend-therapy because they know I'm a doormat. It literally makes my life worse to maintain friendships with women and yet I do it anyway out of some futile belief that it might make me a better person even though it just does the opposite.
>>85417792That is true, you could never be like in your youth. Cogs get only slower overtime. Yet that doesn't mean you should succumb to the rot, as there still always a small part of it will remain. It may not be much, but afterall a spark is still enough to lighten up the darkness, even just enough to see a little distance. If one could hate oneself, but that means they could also love and be passionate about it. Negativity is only a spike of emotion that convinces you it is eternal but only lasts in a blink. Even a dim torch is enough to melt someone's heart.
>>85413806i desperately want warmth and connection and to be a good person but life experience has shown me that being anything other than a jaded cynical asshole is a wasted effort. it hurts.
>>85417948Is there a certain threshold or number of times of hurting someone and doing bad things to others that you are looking for here before determining someone is evil, or do you just not believe in the concept of evil at all? Even with the most patient and generous guidelines being applied it seems that women being inherently evil is the inevitable conclusion. Nothing else in existence harms others for no reason whatsoever. The jews do it because their various gods and idols demand they hurt people. Blacks do it for gibsmedat or muh ruspeck. Women alone actively go out of their way or even incur personal cost to bring harm to others with no clear benefit to self or entities they claim to worship. Just the sadistic pleasure of taking part in the harmful process alone.
>>85417908ok i lold have a (you)
>>85417899Overpopulation is a problem, but doing that forcibly will only push future generations of people into the hardline opposition to solutions. I advocate for not having children if people don't want to, I think it's a good thing - not for the sake of itself, but even for bringing up the rest better. "It takes a village to raise a child" holds wisdom, there are so many people who would've benefited from having available uncles and aunts as children. I fucking love being the uncle to my nieces.
>>85418637>Nothing else in existence harms others for no reason whatsoever. How is this only a women's issue? Men also do terrible things to other people every day, for seemingly no reason.
>>85413806Why in the fuck would you support a single mother. There's like a 5% chance she's a widow and 95% chance she just chose to birth a child with some piece of shit if she even is a single mom. But there's tons of gibs for them so probably a gypsy scammer anyway.
>>85417948Tell them to fuck off you doormat retard
>>85413806I dreamed that I died and that I was staring at my dead body as a ghost. It was what I wished for, release from life, but instead I was so angry looking at my body. I was so unkind to myself in life despite being a better person than 99% of the population. I deserved better, and the world served me shit.
>>85413834Is everyone just in this shit mood tonight. I feel the exact same. I genuinely think I'm a sociopath now but there's still good in me but I want it gone. I'm so tired of being hurt by people. I cope by coming on this stupid site when I need socialization because I can't relate to the seemingly evil fucks I'm surrounded by but I'm just as much of a prick. I just want to believe in something again. I want someone to genuinely believe in me and somehow convince my fucked up brain that I'm worth existing. I want fucking flowers
>>85413806>good in you>still the same kind person deep inside>implyingWhen I was young there was this gay kid who wanted to be friends and I responded by bloodying his nose instead. He pretty much was an outcast too. Years later we bumped into each other and I was filled with shame knowing how mean I was to him. He greeted me first, not with the resentment or hatred that I very much deserve but with forgiveness and a friendly smile. That gay kid is who I would call good and kind, not me.
I hope I haven't. Sometimes I feel like there's a rot deep inside of me that eats at me everyday.
>>85419012I know I'm a fucking sociopath, I just am glad I still have a few strings of brain matter left to not to anything fucking stupid. I fuckin hate people yet all I want is a fuckin cuddle, its baffling and so stupid how my brain works and I've always fuckin hated it.
>>85418929Such as? Or did you think a single "nuh-uh no you" would be sufficient to negate and invalidate the lived experiences and observations of countless thousands of real people who have had to deal with real evil and it's real consequences as a direct victim or collateral damage?
>>85414283Turning bad evil or uncaring because the world around you is evil just screams weak character. It's okay, not everyone is a non-npc
>>85414042You need to set boundaries, and respect them.
>>85417844>Single mothers are all very bad peoplewhy?>and extremely abusive.do you have any data for this?
So many "kind souls" here lose any pretense of goodness when life hurts them. Instead of setting some fucking boundaries so psychos can't hurt them again.
>>85413834You won't do shit.You couldn't even get digits.>>85413806People who are going to kill themselves don't talk about killing themselves.They nay seek help in private because they Don't want to an hero.When they do decide to an hero nobody knows.Which makes sense, because nobody was paying attention to them in the first place.Like people who quit social media or change their life, they just do it. Bo virtue signaling, no posts, just action.OP picrel is a cry for help.
>>85413834>>85420159and you won't do shitto anyoneeven yourself
