>Be the ceo of a multi million dollar company. >Your entire business model relies on taking the store fronts of everyone who signs up to pay you for your company name.>You commit a massive Lego Star Wars theft during a routine store theft. Dude gets mad and wants his shit back.>Go fuck yourself. You're banned now.Dude gets lawyers.>wait a few mouths for the lawyer cost to rack up.>it wasn't us. It was Crystal. Also, go fuck yourself.New dude comes to the office with a camera and questions.>sperg out.>claim complete ignorance. Don't even recognize names.>immediately follow up with a detailed rant about Crystal Law, Bryan, and every name involved. >followed by saying I know nothing about this stolen property and therefore couldn't have committed theft.>call cops over an extortion murder attempt after he politely leaves.It becomes a public news story. >Well you see, the previous owner who signed that. She was a rouge employee."So there was a contract with the store you took?">Oh, no. She's a thief and responsible for all of this."So there was stollen property in your store?">No, never. It was gone. Check the tapes. Crystal stole it.Footage shows the following:-The lego was the store-Their handler shows up in a u-haul for pick up.-previous owner asked directly about settling the collection.-director correctly stated liability law.>out of context, did Crystal put you up to this?
Store owners you haven't fucked yet want answers about the brand they fucking paid for. >writes multiple press releases that each spend at least a paragraph ranting about Crystal. Owners start considering their legal options without calling you now.>gasp, they're just like Crystal!>continue ranting about her on your press tour.Crystal's legal case regains traction. >appear on coffeezilla to get her investigated.Dude fines the missing inventory hidden in your files.>didn't know about that, but Crystal probably fucked it up.>File a suit against the victim you stole from.>accuse him of running a criminal empire.>file a preemptive restraining order that silences the speech of literally everyone involved on any side opposing you.Get counter sued over it.>Crystal ruined everything.Go to mediation, get settlement papers.>get so excited to write about Crystal again that you hit post before holding up your end of the deal.Step on Lego from one of the sets that don't exist.>damn you law/gorman couple!What is this legal strategy called?
Have you ever wondered whether it's healthy to be terminally online to the point where your thoughts and emotions are occupied thinking about people you've never met and a store you've never visited?
