>Never felt surprise>Never felt "happy", just "more energetic">Always smiled when angry, strange facial expressions in general>Never felt lonely or missed people>Never understood why being with certain people was supposed to feel good, because it didn't>Not sure if shame is a real emotion and not just people afraid of being attacked>Incredibly strong sense of remorse>can cry for music>Never understood why I was expected to have friends, thought people were manipulating each other for favors>Super confused by childrens programming talking about completely alien concepts that were actually just how people act>After I turned 13 women often tried to talk to me and I ignored them>People got angry at me for this>Women still try to talk to me>I still ignore them>Was forced into pretending to have a relationship once, we both agreed I wasn't gay or into her>Bizarre sense of humor, laughed at tibetan flood footage>Every mannerisms is an alternate version of an actual humans typical behavior, "you ___ weird" >1000 yard stare from birth>Can not be diagnosed with autism due to being able to read facial expressions and tell people apart>Come up negative for schizophrenia>Come up negative for schizotypal>Strong visual snow syndrome only neurological abnormality>People often ask me what I just said when I haven't made any noises>Parents sometimes bring up the fact that I was bothered by having hair and wanted to be completely hairlessLord strike this mortal coil down and release whatever the fuck is inside of it. It wasn't mean to be flesh.
Being a male autist must be the worst, ngl. Like, most female autists will find a man that wants to take care of them and will go above and beyond to learn their patterns and likes and dislikes, to build a life around and with them.Meanwhile your chance of finding a woman like that is nigh zero.
Super sigma autism
>>85569219You are probably schizoid. I don't have all of the stuff you list here but I relate a lot to not conforming to social norms, ignoring women and not giving a shit about it. I like my solitude a lot and feel like having 2 friends is already more than enough for me.
I've been to the psychiatrist dozens of times. They never agreed on autism, just "rude" and "creepy". The best I got was ADHD and free meth. Maybe now I can score alcoholism.
>>85569219I'm pretty sure people with autism can read facial expressions apart just not the super super indirect subtle ones with alternative meanings then what would typically be implied by the expression itself Like obviously a happy is different from sad and then there's those different ones within happy that mean happy and the different ones that mean sad within sad But some of those within those groups cross over and mean other things Those are the ones that autistics usually struggle telling apart Maybe you have ADHD it's kind of hard to rely on the tests online to see if you can tell facial expressions apart because there's so many and they can only narrow it down so much that you might think you get the majority right But you're able to examine a limited amount with a set amount of time and complete focus But in a group of people you have to think fast and concentrate on everybody's while they are constantly changing and stuff so it's way more confusing because the expression now is completely different with a completely different meaning than the ones 10 expressions ago
>>85569243Something I just learned that I think is quite interesting is that the part of the brain responsible for facial expression recognition Also known as the posterior Superior temporal sulcus It does something that happens in autistic people that doesn't happen in neurotypical people It lights up during non-social interactionsThe reason it doesn't in neurotypicals is because it's inefficient why would it need to when there's no social interactions going on in a non-social environment it makes sense But the reason it does for autistic people is because the brain is more wired for finding puzzles and rulesDuring development the brain prioritizes that over what deamed social and non-social as a way of navigating the worldIt learns from structured and non-structured instead of social and non-socialSo while that part is active when they aren't around people they are likely thinking something like this completely unsocial relatedIf I shift this object it fits in the corner And a neurotypical would think when that part of the brain lights upJust for fun let's say interacting with an autisticHe looked away so he obviously must be hiding something
>>85569238Negative. No rich fantasy world. No daydreaming. I can model full environments defined by multiple senses by deciding to but it's not compulsive.Disorders of that type may not actually exist and were invented by germans, history's biggest idiots.>>85569243Definitely not autistic. This was thoroughly evaluated. No analysis is needed to track human's body language at all.I was probably just molested.
>>85569231not Op but most female autists hate non-neurotypical men too. been hanging out with a girl whos autistic and its kinda clear she has no interest in my personality and only wants me around for physical company.id kill to have a autistic girl who would stick by my side and put our relationship over everything else. its just so tiriing
>>85569316Would you say that what you have wrote about could be potentially the long-term effects sexual trauma has had on your neurotypical brain
>>85569343Who fucking knows? It's as well supported a theory as being an alien hybrid or a long term demonic possession. It's less likely than undiagnosed brain damage.All I know is it feels like I'm sick of pretending to be a person and almost wish I had a need I was covering up or a fear I was compensating for. Not because it hurts me on its own. But because I still feel remorse watching my family slowly realize they shit out a horrendous mutant.
>>85569362Why do you think you still feel remorse and do you say that as if you're barely holding on to it
>>85569371Because it's the strongest emotion I feel, and the one people like to accuse me of lacking because I'm not expressive enough for them.
>>85569219>>Not sure if shame is a real emotion and not just people afraid of being attackedBe thankfull that you are unable to feel shame.The worst emotion I ever felt was shame, it's awful. I much prefer feeling guilt or remorse, those emotions are way easier to handle.
>>85569392It definitely sounds like it could potentially be ADHD then because people with ADHD don't really struggle at understanding expressions they more so struggle at expressing them correctly or at all even
>>85569219I related to a lot of what you wrote. The last part really struck me. I feel the same way and have been identifying as an android for about a year now. I strive to be and live more like an android.
>>85569316you dont have to have all these things to qualify for a diagnosis. not saying you have it or anything but just mentioning this
you may not really have anything. some people are too weird to definitely have something
>>85569219>Can not be diagnosed with autism due to being able to read facial expressions and tell people apartThat's not how you diagnose autism.
