The Internet and anonymity promotes abusive behaviour. I am still affected from being completely unheard, mocked, and ignored by someone I trusted when I was in a vulnerable time in my life and the fucking funny thing is that the person genuinely convinces themself that I was a "bad person who tried hurting everyone who didn't do what they wanted" when I tried to make them accountable after posting what I knew about them online. It is literally the only defense and way to make them change. If only they fucking saw how much their actions pushed me to having fucking mental breakdowns. They can just ignore it, they can just turn off their fucking screen. I don't go on 4chan anymore, it has been years, but this site completely corrupts you. It gives you a fucking power trip. Fuck you cowards, who then bitch about being "doxxed" when you act like scum. Fuck you. Act like fucking proper people and treat others with care. The Internet has ruined how people treat each other. It has turned people into just temporary forms of entertainment to use and dispose of with no remorse. Porn is a sin and a place where most people are just trafficked into it too. It degrades people but because they are on a screen, well teehee, that's their problem ! What the fuck is up with people who don't even want to share their fucking real name? 1. GET OFF 4CHAN 2. VOLUNTEER FOR YEARS OF SATANIC FUCKING CORRUPTION 3. VALUE YOUR SURROUNDING COMMUNITY OR FIND PEOPLE ONLINE THAT YOU CAN TRUST AND ACTUALLY CAN CARE ABOUT. OUR BRAINS WERE NOT MEANT FOR THIS TREATMENT.
tl;dr Online anonymity enables abusive, unaccountable cruelty, eroding empathy and genuine human connection.answerYou deserved basic human empathy, not cruel detachment. Leaving toxic spaces and seeking real community is essential for your healing.
>waaah waaah, didn't readposted about it award.
>>85570966you claim to hate anonymity, but you do not namefag. curious!anonymity is a crucial part of being able to criticize, and the fact that you think this criticism is bad is on you, not them
>>85570978I have done that. It's just my mind constantly loops and loops thinking about this. Their actions got encoded strongly at the time due to just being in a vulnerable state at the time. I don't know if I have autism or whatnot, but I genuinely cannot stop thinking about this (and it is 24/7) and it will push me to the verge of crying and hyperventilating. At times I will also hit myself because I feel stressed and all the times I tried to communicate, it just got DISPLACED BACK ONTO ME. My (socially-evolved through thousands of years of living in a community) still probably wants this bastard to take accountability. But they never did. It has been years. And now because I have stated that I think I have autism or some shit, I will then gaslight myself and then repeat. I am miserable and I never had this before. I have attempted suicide twice because it never fucking ends despite the good conditions of my life now. I volunteer, I have donated thousands of dollars, I have done my part. I wish I could just fucking blow my fuckign head off at times.
>>85571019 >>>>85570980What have you done for your community but use resources? What good have you done for others?
Why the fuck is it so hard for you cowards to treat people like human beings? Don't you ever think you will regret how you have acted? What the fuck is genuinely up with everyone? Because you can get away with it? You abusive losers treat everyone as pixels. Maybe fucking take something away from this. Should I try to reveal the original loser's information? Because that was the only thing that made them briefly come down to earth for one day. You are all fucking corrupt.
>>85570966sticks and stones may break your bonesbut words will never hurt you.nigger.In reality I would probably treat you with kindness and respect if I ever met you. But I'm still going to make fun of you here because you can't differentiate between people's words and actions. Taking everything people say at face value is stupid. If people lie about all sorts of things: Why take a random persons words to heart, especially if you don't know them? I'm as much of a bleeding heart faggot as you at times but I'm not going to sanitize my words or edge for your sake OP.It also sounds like you are being a loser and projecting this one loser fuckwad onto the rest of us, equating random anons to an asshole that hurt you. We aren't him, so Fuck off OP. I'm being intentionally hostile to teach youa lesson. you can always just turn off the screen nigger. I'd call you a fucking weakass loser one moment and then give a hug right after to prove a point. Yeah I feel bad that you were bullied, but you gotta build up resistance to that jackass. Sticks and Stones. You can be sensitive, caring, and compassionate individual while still not being a soft little fag who can't handle a bit of teasing. quit yer whining.
>>85571107You are the downfall of humanity. You run away from accountability at any moment and then bitch about how everyone else is "too soft". I don't care about being told insults or being told "mean stuff" if it actually helps me. It bothers me not because it "hurts my feelings", but because I did the same shit as you once and hurt them immensely and then acted like a coward after, just because I fucking could. I CHANGED, NOW EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD CHANGE AND REALIZE THIS SHIT.
>>85571145There you go projecting again.I'm not you.I'm not some angry and hurt schizo yelling at people how they should live their lives. You think every bad word is filled with malice intent.I'm not one of those anons who dox and ridicule lolcows to no end. I have a life, I'm not a persistent bully like some, I make fun of people and then move on with my life.But OP you keep attributing this malice to me and others because of someone who hurt you in the past.You have a created an "us vs them" mentality, and in your mind, I'm the "them". A random asshole on the internet talking out of his butt and shitposting is the ROOT OF ALL EVIL and societal degradation. take a chill pill. You yelling at people on /r9k/ is definitely not going to change any minds. Just don't do it yourself if it matters that much to you. Since (you) are truly the only thing you have control over.
>>85570966"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."I don't know what you're talking about, but I mostly discuss ideas, social issues, stuff like that, it's very rare for me to talk about a specific person here, and if it happens, that person is a public figure, or it's about something that's going on in the video, so it's more about events rather than specific people. I never discussed "lolcows" or whatever you call them, never participated in something like "wouldn't it be fun if we raided this person's email" and stuff like that, so what are you talking about?If some people come here to bully someone, then that's on them, and karmic consequences will reveal themselves eventually, or it's already happened (see picrelated), maybe this thread is actually a part of the process.
>>85571268"Make fun of people and then move on with my life." You sound like you genuinely care about people. Great on you. You seem like you never apologize, because "nothing matters since it's on the Internet". There you go fucking using words like "schizo" or "crazy". Fuck you. My father had schizophrenia and he became homeless because of it. And fuck this site for promoting hate towards those who are already at their lowest. "Lmao schizo homeless mentally ill people" I don't need some toxic board spewing a bunch of stigma. You (4chan embodiment, dont take it personal) share the same language, the same toxic attitude. If someone was crying, you would just say "that's their problem" and ignore it. You show no initiative. You are toxic and cruel and all you fucks live behind a screen. Genuinely answer this: What good do you do for others? What good to do you for others but live for yourself? What is so difficult in being kind and being there for others? Yeah I am projecting and I don't know you so don't take it personal, you could be anyone and I'd still be saying this, I am just getting out everything that I wanted to say, I am expressing myself. I was extremely hurt and I still feel unheard. And I see clear problems with the way people still use 4chan. I emotionally cheated on my first partner and when he was in distress, I literally just called them "bpd" because I couldn't face up to my own shame. I just fucking ran away from accountability because I fucking could. I used his reactions against him to avoid shame. I completely stopped using 4chan after that because it promotes that behaviour.
>>85572518so you're a hoe? great
>>85572683so you emotionally cheated on this guy that was ignoring you? If that's the case then your cheating is absolved, no god needed.
What did they do to you exactly?
>>85570966You should really gay and annoying. In part because of your use of run-on sentences
>>85572797You can't even proofread your shit you stupid nigger.
>>85570978I am ruined now.I destroyed love in my heart.Not fun desu m8.
>>85572518>I emotionally cheated on my first partnerWhat do you mean emotionally?
>>85572518>I was extremely hurt and I still feel unheard.I heard you, but your message is too vague, unless you want an equally vague answer like "don't be sad".I don't get it, what does your interpersonal drama have to do with anonymity and 4chan?You talk to your boyfriend via 4chan?Why don't you talk to him directly and only discuss relevant stuff here in this thread?
>>85572766No. The first one was from many years ago. The second was some random who I talked to but then just treated me like I was nothing. But now my brain can't stop attributing salience to the second person. They did the exact same thing that I did to the first person (detached cruelty). Treated them as some figure who knew best because they were older than me, even though they really did not.
>>85572866>>85572866I was just talking to a bunch of other people (not romantically, but I started enjoying their presence more than my partner's). So, when I actually broke up with my partner after realizing that I cared about others more (no, I did not break up to "get with" the other people) I was extremely detached because I found my emotional needs met with other people. I also just used stuff against my first partner to justify my coward behaviour even when they were the one clearly affected the most. When they were crying, I just called them dramatic and minimized them. I acted corrupt. This was at the same time that I had learned that my father had tried offing himself and I felt like a failure, like a true chaotic cunt. Oh yeah, the main other person I talked to also asked me around that time when we would get serious and that is when I knew I fucked up because I didn't even tell them I had a boyfriend (because I respected my partner so little). Anyway, I stopped respecting them because my partner had messaged his ex and that is when I lost trust in them but I didn't even break up and I made a whole deal out of something minor. It was my first relationship.
>>85572851I am here for you if you want to talk. I can create an account on whichever talking app
I'm not reading that shite.Summarise it in one word.
>>85573192Thanks anon, but it's something I have to face by myself.
>>85573266OOGEDY-BOOGEDY-NEE-HION-NEE-HION-NEE-HION
>>85570966>The Internet and anonymity promotes abusive behaviour.Bootlicker.>don't go on 4chan anymore, it has been years, but this site completely corrupts you.Skill issue. 4chan has only made me more expressive and happy.>It gives you a power trip.??? A power trip over what? You do realize that there's no way to move up or down here? There's no updoots. You're not a janny and will likely never be one anyway. Literally if anyone doesn't like what they're saying, the worst you or they can do is not make any additional posts.>Fuck you cowards, who then bitch about being "doxxed" when you act like scum.You say this, and then complain about whenever you personally can't have privacy. You're like Flock, but marginally better but only because you don't have the same kind of financial power.>The Internet has ruined how people treat each otherNah, you're just not doing it right. You're not supposed to take stuff you read on 4chan seriously. 4chan is a place to buy seeds and ideas, not fully grown plants. That said, you're 100 percent right about the rest of the internet where people are rewarded and punished via an algorithm and their whole lives out there.>It has turned people into just temporary forms of entertainment to use and dispose of with no remorseWell aren't you lucky. Soon it will all just be bots. No internet anymore. Just the appearance of one. You can bet your butt the superficial public internet will remain>Porn is a sin and a place where most people are just trafficked into it too.Is this, like, your personal opinion?>What is up with people who don't even want to share their fucking real name?They like privacy. Just because you've got nothing to hide doesn't mean you have nothing to fear by being public.>GET OFF 4CHANThis is the one place where people say what they want whenever. There is a level of honesty here you can't match anywhere else, because of the anonymity. "Give a man a mask, and he'll tell you the whole truth" -Oscsr Wilde.
>>85573326No worries. In my experience, I had a period where I felt deep shame and felt like I was constantly lying to myself and felt very empty. I felt abandoned by others because I felt abandoned by myself. Unironically, what helped me was having some manic psychosis (I doubled my dosage of Vyvanse and it triggered this) where I revisited the times where I had constructed lies about myself in order to protect my own ego but at the expense of others and instead replaced that hatred with love (euphoria induced by Vyvanse). Lol. It always felt like something was wrong but I could never pinpoint exactly what. Having support from others can help a lot, I prob wouldnt have forgiven myself as much without having people around me or having told anyone my "revelations" during that induced state. Dunno if this is helpful. Don't do drugs
>>85573421Are you psychic or what?I've felt like this on and off for decades, since I was a teen, this is one of the on times. I'm speaking with a psychologist but I've thought about these things for years, I like psychology and facing the demons, we need to do it. Or some of us do. I don't know too much about psychology, but get it. Face those shadows. But also be able to move on after the battle. I just battle, and eventually find a way to move on. Seeing a psychologist at the moment, but out of 4 sessions, 3 of them have been what would be ground breaking revelations, but I'm just telling him what I have already thought. Feel like I'm just getting him up to date with what I've done, and he needs to earn his pay. But also, if he doesn't have all the info then he can't do his job properly. It's annoying at times.
>>85573489I wish you good luck with that! I am glad that what I said resonated with you. Have you looked much into MDMA therapy? I feel like it is easier to access everything if you are in an altered state. Basically the premise is that you revisit the content but in a safe environment so it becomes properly integrated and the memory becomes labile so you can rewrite a new narrative
Porn is just the final evolution of women. It's practical, it's accessible and it's the economic choice.
No one cares Jadey you are a fatass
>>85573622Didn't you say don't do drugs? Or did you mean medicine pushed by dr's? I don't really take medicine, but do occasionally have to take prescribed things (not happy pills).I smoke a lot of weed, but cutting down.
>>85573707I was semi-joking. No addictive stuff. But I have heard good things from MDMA therapy trials (still not official). I used to be completely against drugs, but my opinions have changed.
>>85573733I've taken them in recreational settings, but nothing like micro dosing for therapeutic benefits. I do take tiny bits of cocaine to help me get energy to clean my house, but not often.
This thread and writing helped calm me. Thank you anons. My internal monologue finally sounds and feels like me, and not a repetition of stuff told my another person. It will sound like another person is in my head telling me stuff (not auditory hallucinations, but still intrusive).
>>85574010your mistake was thinking what you did was due to frequenting place like this.It's not, what you did here >>85572953 came from you. You did it, it's yourself, it's not something that you got influenced, coerced, shown or anything like "I wasn't me at the time hihi".And since you didn't take accountability for it, I can guarantee it right now to you: It will happen again.
>>85574703I never said that wasn't my fault. I did take accountability for it, but getting off this site was one of the best things since I imagined that everyone I spoke to online, even if I couldn't see their face, was a genuine human being with a life as important as my own. Do you genuinely believe this site promotes treating others with respect? An anonymous chat forum? Do you genuinely believe not attaching a face to anything makes people treat others with care?
>>85574753Do you genuinely believe this site promotes treating others with respect? An anonymous chat forum? Do you genuinely believe not attaching a face to anything makes people treat others with care?I genuinely believe this is a forum where BOTH extreme sincerity and extreme LARPing happen simultaneously, in fact, this is the main draw of this place.If it was only one or the other, it would be boring. People speaking their minds, people lying all the time, you see this anywhere else. Both, on extreme ends? Only in these boards.I don't believe this site promotes treating others with respect, why would I? I don't believe it promotes disrespecting others either- why would it?And that's your problem. This place promotes nothing at all, what it does is allow you, what's inside of you even if you don't know about it, to come forward and appear on the little texts you type out.It doesn't matter to me whether I don't see a face or identity with the posts here, I'm not one to change identity 4theluls or to fail to realize that whenever I read something, there was a person behind it. Well, most of the time (bots).I know. I know the environment and what people type out might be genuine or completely fake, and that this place is only somewhere you can express yourself. No one is entitled to respond to me, you, or whoever third party with respect or genuineness that you see being faked wherever else. This is the whole appeal.And I loop back to my point- this place might have been pulling that side out from within you, sure, but it was not the source of it.If you haven't dealt with that, it still lies dormant inside of you. And given the opportunity, be it desperation, misery, maybe an over the top bout of emotions, it WILL arise again.
>>85574808fuck my starter greentext I guess
>>85574808And how may it rise again? What would it look like? And what would be the exact opposite of it?
>>85574818>And how may it rise again?only you can answer this one, but if I were to take a wild guess- in a similar way it did the first time.>What would it look like?Same way. Disregarding and dismissing someone, detaching yourself and calling them names, throwing someone away like a used rag. Again, if not this, just similar.>And what would be the exact opposite of it?You somehow recognize this part of yourself that so easily uses, insults, deflects? and throws people away, do a complete 180 and never do it again ever. Not possible.What you can do if you actually genuinely care about it is identify these feelings again when they arise next time, and CONSCIOUSLY make an effort not to repeat your mistake.Or at the very least, not feel regret after doing them again. Either way works for a human.It's all just you though. I don't know you, all I see is regret for a mistake, and a failure to see where it originated from, that's it. Blind firing on my end.
>>85570978The most abusive pieces of shit are totally public and totally unaccountable, maybe start holding those accountable if you want to remove the anonimity of those who speak against them with the abusive ones, that is if you care about the "men of good manners and virtues" that countries like the U.S. where supposed to only give voting rights to.
>>85574854I have made changes in removing all my social medias and I have limited my social sphere so those in it can receive proper attention. I have my own communities that surround a shared activity/interest. My mistake was instead of breaking up when I felt betrayed, I prolonged it and so I sought other sources for meeting my emotional needs. But the good thing is that the person this thread is about, someone from 4chan who treated me as I treated my ex, made me realize how horrible it felt and I am still living the repercussions. I sought someone unconsciously who was distant and already didn't like people because it felt like they were teaching me and punishing me and I didn't want someone to be nice to me. Anyway, I feel much much more comfortable talking about emotions now and I don't have social anxiety anymore. Also I am immune to porn attracting me. I watched it at times when I was in my first relationship, not much, but after breaking up I literally looked up "love" into fucking pornhub and started crying at myself for my behaviour lol. I avoid all porn and feel like flinching when I see it. Like I feel a complete aversion to it. I was addicted to it from ages 7-16. I mentioned this earlier but I had this manic psychosis thing and it seemed to have altered me for the best. Also I did not deflect others or try to throw them away, I felt bad doing that, it's just when my ex got upset I deflected. I was not honest. I don't know what I would have done differently, as I knew I had already fucked up. And I was afraid of others knowing. I felt bad breaking up and was afraid of how they'd react, that is why I prolonged it, but at the same time I had already started emotionally cheating and slowly spending less time with them.
>>85571092Just stop using social media, retard. You only give other fags power over you by taking the internet as serious business.
>>85574928Okay. Not dismissively or in bad faith.I feel like you're still in the midst of processing it all, maybe that's why you made the thread to begin with... needed an outlet or something. That's alright.I won't respond more though, I gotta get something to eat. I was on the receiving end of something similar to the tale you told, and that's why I engaged. Due to this, no good wishes for you. I want to curse you, but I know you're not the one who did it to me. Adieu or whatever the fr*nch say
>>85574928My ex did do things that initially I was upset about when we broke up, like he told my friends in real life that I hated them and such, but now I am grateful he did that because I would not have faced my wrongdoings without it. Initially I hated him and said "he has trouble regulating his emotions" and stuff like that for like a year and a half. Honestly it was the best thing that ever happened. I played the victim after he did that to avoid accountability, but now I completely understand him. Jesus you couldn't fucking get to me back then. He kept trying to explain and talk and all I did was just hide the truth when he was in a lot of distress. I am sorry and I do wish I could contact him again (he doesn't have any social media) to let him know the truth (I apologized for how I treated him, I said I encountered the same emotional regulation problems as him, I sympathized, that it was not his fault, but I also never even revealed that I was talking to other people). Should I? It has been years, but I am sure this still affects him. Because what some random did to me (mirrored my own cruelty to me) still affects me. Sure, he reacted intensely, but it was as a result of ME. He ran away from home and tried to visit me like 1.5 years after (I didn't meet up, my mom called the police on him before I even knew) and had him flown back to his home state. What is funny is that I had this manic psychosis state where I had the complete realization I had been wrongly placing hate onto him literally a week before he visited. Lol. Before that it was just me ignoring his attempts to contact me.
>>85574974I dislike the person who did that to you too. What would you want the person who did that to you do that would make you feel better? I can try doing that to my ex
>>85575025Acknowledge what you dealt to them, don't wall of text, just do it briefly.Apologize, again- briefly and sincerely.End it here if you just want them to feel better. That's it.If you have interest to be friends again you can propose it, but you have to be ready to be denied if it comes to it. Or receive no response at all even.If you guys become friends again and it repeats though, you might get murdered.So just apologize, but it needs to not be or sound long and superficial.
>>85575093I don't think I would be denied. My ex (not the random from here) would probably want to be my friend again very much. I just don't want to be due to just awkwardness and different stage in life I guess. I know that sounds bad. They had a very strong attachment and they are sensitive. I don't know whether contacting them again would make it worse or whether it would help if I explained. It has been probably 2 years since I last messaged them. Would telling them I emotionally cheated on them make them feel better since they can blame me, or would it make them feel worthless?
>>855751612 years is long enough that I feel like telling them something like>emotionally cheated on themwould just unnecessarily reopen healing wounds, don't do it.>I know that sounds bad.Not really, it's just how it is sometimes. At times the best move is to just not make a move at all. It might be better if you don't contact them, even the apology at this point, unless you *truly* want to reconcile and start talking again.
>>85575262Ok thank you for your responses, I appreciate it
