What's up with late nights and me always being so self-aware, self-conscious and having these realisations during that time about myself?I've been doing jack shit with my life and have been wasting it away. Anything I try fails in the end no matter how hard I try. My vices keep pulling me back and down into the ground. I have no purpose and no direction. Familyless, communityless, friendless, loveless. There is no one really there for me. I'm nothing but a burden on the people around me. Nobody loves me, not even my mother. How could anyone with how I am?Maybe the women that keep saying that boys like me need a war to die in are not entirely wrong. Maybe someone like me has no other future or purpose but to fertilise the soil with his spilt blood. Maybe I really am just one of the many genetic dead ends in history. Maybe I really just need to die in a ditch with no one around to finally find peace from all this. At least I wouldn't be entirely useless and wouldn't have to suffer so.It might just be my fate and destiny.
The war thing is just something people say to belittle. In history most military forces prefer the best soldiers and recruit people who are taller, athletic, and from accomplished pedigrees. Most soldiers inherited their soldier trade and were trained from a young age. Most robots struggle with invisible mental illness. There is no sympathy for this as its unrelatable to people who dont have never experienced it. Youll just have to learn to live with this. Search for what happiness can be found and contribute some that is not already there.
>>85574848Get a blue-collar job or go pick up oranges during harvest season or something. Do things during the day that leave you so tired that you'll fall asleep the moment your cheek touches your pillow.Regarding your thoughts: first, it's okay to think like that, so don't bring yourself down over it. Second, society wants you demoralized so you consume mindlessly and participate in its many horrors. Do your best to change things around you, one day at a time.It's all up to you.
>>85574848we're all going to escape the matrix this year. i feel like my soul has returned to the captain's seat and is control of my actions after an extended absence. i am not just a flesh automaton animated by neurotransmitters anymore. it's not a feeling of joy or optimism but simply that i am not dead inside any longer. WAGMI.
>>85574848youll find your purpose one dayyoull find love & connectionplease dont lose hopeyoure a beautiful person<3
