Please talk to me. Tell me how you're feeling and what's on your mind, please
I worry that nothing I do matters, a good chunk of human race is going to get wiped out by decisions of a few callous individuals, and we're all replaceable cogs in a giant machine designed to extract maximum value from us and when discard us. But I guess dogs are nice.
what are you doing for halloween?
>>85595774Even the smallest beating of a butterfly's wings, and such. It's not worth your energy to worry about things you can't control. Things may continue to deteriorate. Things may get better. Who can say?I like dogs and cats. Cats a little more.
>>85595782Probably nothing. Definitely too old for trick or treating. How about you?
>>85595798the plan is to decorate my room. i have nothing so i must get back into the festive spirit! i'll also finally play silent hill 2. i sure do hope this isn't just all talk and i spend the month doing nothing again. it's terrible when you know you could be having fun doing x but instead choose to do y.
>>85595822noooo i forgot the awesome picerino.
>>85595822Nice, do you have a lot of decorations? Silent Hill 2 is definitely good for the season, I loved that game back on 360. Do you plan on going to any parties or handing out candy?
>>85595712i know exactly what i have to do change my life for the better but im old and it feels 10x as hard to start as it was when i was 20. im also in a worse position socially.
>>85595867What does that entail? And yes, I know the feeling. It's more and more difficult to maintain the robo life as you age. I'm working through the steps to get my life back on track. It's rough. Hope everything turns out alright
>>85595881just the usual shit i already did a long time ago before i relapsed. actually learning things, being diligent, enjoying my hobbies, losing weight, fixing my fashion, actually trying socially, bothering to mask and being vulnerable and all that crap. thanks, same to you. how do you deal with the mental exhaustion?
>>85595857not too much right now but i'm going to order some more. i've got some skeleton plates to stick on my walls and a small pumpkin lamp. no parties but yes, i will be handing out candy. this neighborhood is quite busy but during halloween not much hand out candy which i find strange. so people usually just go to the next communities and such over.man. this sparkling water i'm drinking right now kind of sucks. it's got such a strange aftertaste.
>>85595894What did you relapse on? And what are your hobbies? I don't know, to be honest with you. I just try not to think about it. Go outside and have a smoke. Read something. Watch something or play games. I don't really have motivation, I'm just brute forcing life through will alone.>>85595898Spoopy. What kinda candy you got? I hope there are milky ways in there.>it's got such a strange aftertaste.That's whatcha get for buying Wal-Mart brand!
>>85595919by relapse i mean preferring isolation and insularity. had a real shitty experience in public that triggered it, would rather not go into the details. yea i can do the same sometimes but it's getting harder and harder to summon that will. "try not think about it" has never worked for me.anyway enough about that, ive been trying to get back into djing and making mixes, which was something i enjoyed a lot a long time ago.
I'm thinking about the gay sex I had the other night. I was rolling on mdma anyway the best part was I was on my knees and two guys were standing in front of my I was going back and forward sucking both cocks then the guy on the left start stroking and jerking the right guys cock until he came, all over the left guys cock and basically I used the cum as lube to stroke his cock for a bit and then just started sucking his cum covered cock fuck it was hot, I felt like such a slut. Anyway now I've woken up high as fuck on pregabalin still and my cock is hard as fuck and I'm thinking about the same fantasy of having a gf whose like a sort of exhibitionist nudist who likes being naked, going to nude beaches etc. And basically the fantasy is my friend comes over and she's casually naked in the house and he's like embarrassed and sneaking glances and then I'm just like you can fuck her if you want, so basically I share her pussy with my friend and watch her get fucked and her pussy loaded up with his cum. Later on I fuck her as well and use his cum as lube like sloppy seconds. She's loving it because she's a total slut. Well the problem is I have no gf, nor do I have any friends lol. Maybe one day it will happen though. Fuck I'd love a gf that I could just bend over a bed or couch and me and like 3 guys just take turns using her pussy. I'd be fucking her and one guy jacks off right next to me watching and blows his load all over my cock and her pussy and I'd use it as lube and fuck it into her. I'm gonna jack off right now imagining this fantasy.
>>85595965you talk about this on here a lot my bro, i can recognize your posts easily lol
>>85595960That's an addiction in its own, so I understand. The best way out is always through. I just keep my eyes on the horizon for that green glint. Tomorrow.That's cool. Post your mixes? Do you DJ publicly?
>>85595980i plan to yes, but i have to get back into practicing regularly. maybe i will post them here. id like to eventually perform in front of actual people but it's purely a bedroom thing for now.
>>85595965That's so fucking hot, if I wasn't already in an open marriage, I would consent to be your gf.
>>85595919>Sooopy.hell yeah, you know it.>What kinda candy you got?nothing to hand out for now but the last two years i've been handing out primarily twix and snickers. might throw some almond joy's in there. people talk so much shit about almond joy's but to me they are wonderful. fun dip too. i loved getting those as a kid.>I hope there are milky ways in there.milky ways GUARANTEED.>That's whatcha get for buying Wal-Mart brand!i actually loved these at first but yeah...>>85595995hello. what are some of your favorite dj mixes?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVWVmykavuY
I can't wait to get my fucking sexdoll delivered, aaaaaaaaa!~ Also I can't wait to go home and generate more porn of my husbandos and my self-insert OC.
>>85595965>>85596002Can we take the nasty talk elsewhere?>>85595995Ah that's cool man. I had a friend way back who did that, he was pretty good at it too. What got you into that as a hobby?>>85596007I'm a fan of almond joys, they're bomb. A lot of people hate coconut candy but they're lame. Milky ways too. I'm also a frozen Charleston Chew kinda guy.Yeah dude, the Walmart ones always suck, honestly. They leave like a film in your mouth.
>>85596007thanks, ive been trying to get into jungle recently, i'll give that mix a listen. ive been really into old a state of trance mixes lately - https://miroppb.com/ASOT/555>>85596027did your friend play out at clubs or anything? i bombed at a couple house parties haha. i always liked music and around the first time i tried being more social in late hs/early college days even my autistic ass was invited to parties sometimes djing just seemed like a great fusion of things i liked (the music, curating a party and feeling connected with the crowd, dancing).
>>85595712>Tell me how you're feelingHands are damn sore and shaky today.>what's on your mind, pleaseI'll be fine, I'll be waiting patiently til you see the signs.
>>85596045That's cool that you did that, though. A lot of people probably couldn't stand out and have the guts. Good for you, definitely get back into that if it's something you want. I love clubs, only been a couple times though.
>>85596229Damn, why's that?Hmm, keep your eyes open then.
I've been in a bit of a slump lately and gotten really depressed over the weekends because of where I'm at in life, but overall I think I'm doing alright, certainly better than most I guess. I'm just not where I want to be and I know how to get there. Went into flight school years ago and got a base license, but not instrument or commercial so can't get paid to fly yet. Gonna take a few years to save up enough money to get those and then more years to get enough flight hours to be hired so I have a long way to go but I guess I'm doing ok right now.
>>85596311I was weedeating all day long at work. I say hands but it's mostly my right arm.My eyes are closed for everything I want, everything I need is here in my arms.
>>85596283thanks man, it's been nice chatting. if you can find a performer or dj you want to see even going to a club alone is fun.
>>85596348That's pretty cool, flight school is pretty neat. Is that pretty intensive? What exactly are your goals?>>85596371That's a good perspective to have. What is it you're looking for, then?>>85596419Totally! It's been a while since I've been out. I could use some fun in my life.
>>85596604It's sort of like learning how to drive a car, but with more stuff to watch and know first. Doesn't take too long if you are a fast learner, but it took a longer time for me because the logistics of my flight school were whack. Too many students and not enough instructors so I didn't get to fly often. Goals are just to find some flying job I like, I guess. I'd try to learn how to do a bunch of stuff so I can do a lot of different ones in different times of the year, but not really settled on exactly what kind I want to do. Maybe bush flying or aerial firefighting? Those sound cool. Also want to get qualifications to fly the old wwii planes in air shows but can't really get paid for that I guess since I think that's more of a volunteer thing
>>85596676That's pretty cool honestly. What kind of flying would you do? Commercial or freight stuff? I know Amazon does delivery planes and shit. That'd be pretty cool, yeah?
>>85596676Sorry I didn't read that far lmao. Firefighting in a plane sounds cool as hell. Flying those old planes would be sweet too. I had a couple buddies way back who went into flying
It's hard when you have nothing to talk about
Some past bad memories resurface
>>85597311I'm just chilling. Been pretty stabilized lately, for lack of a better word. Finally medicated so you know, that's been a long time coming. Grateful for it though.>>85597328You wanna talk about it?
