i really think all my problems are my fault. all my social anxiety is because i would constantly withdraw and never put myself out there. people in highschool tried their best to include me in things, but I always declined, made up a lie about something I had to do. I think people started hating me for it. I never made any friends in high school either cause I just had it in my head people didn't like me and wouldn't want to be my friend. so now I'm basically alone and I have no clue how to talk to people. I didn't even go to my prom either, spent that night building my PC at home. everyone went to prom, even the actual rejects, I was the only guy to stay home and I bet nobody even cared, I didn't have a date and I would of stood in a corner by myself the whole night. maybe it would of been different though, who knows.even now I'm causing all my problems, staying up until 5/6 in the morning, sleeping all day, never going outside, never interacting with other people. This is all caused by me but I don't know why I do it, it just comes naturally to me. idk how to explain to my parents either, they wouldn't understand anyway.
>>85598446>I always declined, made up a lie about something I had to do. I think people started hating me for it.A chicken or the egg situation? Unless you're naturally happier alone (probably not since you complain about it), not wanting to hang round your classmates probably got spurred on by something they did.>I didn't even go to my prom eitherIt's overrated anyhow denjibro, worrying over things that wouldn't make you better is pointless. In high school one of my peers asked if I was going to prom, and I told him flat out that I hated being there and won't spend another day with them.>even the actual rejectsIf they had a backbone they woulda stayed home instead of humiliating themselves further>staying up until 5/6 in the morning, sleeping all day, never going outside, never interacting with other peopleIf you keep this up you'll end up a regular of those 30+ threads...
>>85598688>A chicken or the egg situation?i dont know really, sometimes I'm happier alone and other times I really want to be with others. i was heavily bullied in HS by basically everyone so whenever someone invited me somewhere I just had it in my head it was an elaborate plan to attack me>It's overrated anyhow denjibroi know, i just feel a little left out, maybe something would of changed. I just feel like I lost an important moment that maybe would of helped me>If you keep this up you'll end up a regular of those 30+ threads...yeah probably haha, got another 10 years before that happens though so maybe something will change.....
>>85598708have you tried therapy if you can afford it? essentially once you fix your mindset and perspective you need some successes, a support group of some kind (friends, family, therapist whatever) and the grit and mental resilience to keep trying when you inevitably have embarrassing failures and setbacks. don't ask me where to get any of that though because im one those dudes in those 30+ threads lmao.
>>85598446this is the vulnerable narcissist's idea of "self awareness"
>>85598726i am in therapy currently, idk if its helping much. i probably should bring this up to my therapist but its just so awkward, and idk how to talk about it. the words always get stuck in my throat iykwim>>85598762wdym lol?
>>85598769yea if you are already seeing a professional you have to tell them stuff like this if you want help. otherwise it is pointless and you are wasting money.
>>85598783>it is pointless and you are wasting money.it feels a bit pointless. but I'm lucky, i have NDiS funding thankfully, so its all covered basically
>>85598787it can feel pointless, especially if you have a shit therapist. but if you hold something basic like that back it's kinda on you. i understand it's difficult though.
>>85598708>i was heavily bullied in HS by basically everyoneSo it's the chicken.>I just feel like I lost an important moment that maybe would of helped meNah, that's just nonsense drilled in from endless American high school movies and sitcoms. Realistically you probably wouldve been sitting inna corner wishing you were building that PC. I'm glad I never went to mine and I'm doing fine.>maybe something will change.....Why bank on maybe being kicked into action by.... something? As well doesn't rotting all day get boring? The psyche splitting stillness should serve to steer you towards change. Least it did for me inna rut at your age.>>85598769>words always get stuck in my throat iykwimWrite it down on paper n hand it to them ezpz so you get your thoughts down in an easier way and they can take them in without you tripping over your words. N then from there it'll flow more naturally (probably)
>>85598797she's a good therapist, again its fully on me. I just struggle talking about my problems with people in person. it feels embarrassing and like they are gonna use it against me...>>85598801>I'm glad I never went to mine and I'm doing fine.i mean im 50/50 some days I'm glad I never went, it would of been boring and I loved building my pc. but other days I kinda wish I did go, maybe I could of met someone new, maybe I could of made a friend or something who knows.>As well doesn't rotting all day get boring?no not really, sometimes I guess, i work nights so I naturally end up sleeping during the day and I always have something to do at night so at least I do something...>Write it down on paperthat's how I've done most of my explaining to her yk, I just have to work up the courage to give the note to her...
>>85598446i'm have qualities most men would envy. people like me and generally respect me without effort on my part. i know how to socialize and be concientuous.i don't like people. they are a burden. i spent my 20s dodging everyone. ive learned that my loneliness is an illusion, because whenever i get what i supposedly want, all i want to do is run away.
