I went out on a dumb adventure recently and I am now being headhunted for my dream job at a dream company, the kind that has been manifest in my mind since I was a tiny little kid, the kind from when I used to be hopeful for things. My current job is already amazing, but this one is in a whole new tier, the kind of "retire in 10 years" level. Relocating to the city I always dreamed of living in.But I'm at the burned out. I can't bring myself to care. It doesn't make me raise from my seat at all, I'm not motivated. It feels like it's so late in the hour, life is pretty much already over, and that it's utterly pointless. Outside of work, I have utterly nothing. No friends. Nobody to talk to. Nobody I can say good morning to, good night. No one to call and ask to hang out with or to go see a concert. Absolutely nothing.What's the point of anything if you always retire to the same empty bed at night, ad nauseam in eternity? My job is all I've ever had, and honestly, the only thing exciting in my future prospects is to die.Could anything snap you out of the dead end of your life, anons?
>>85598829>Could anything snap you out of the dead end of your life, anons?Yeah a job that pays me a lot of money so I have less worries like my toenails, my teeth, my hair, my painfully empty stomach, paying bills, buying things I need to live like food and water, etc etc etc. Kys humblebragger.
>>85598829Isn't the point to have your own place, so that you can come home to peace and quiet solace, rather than living with your parents or roommates.
>>85598840Okay. You solve all these problems in months because you have money. You now have the dread of the rest of your life down the barrel. What is there to motivate you?>>85598841I have lived alone for like 10 years at this point. I hate it. I want to hear people, I want to sleep in bed with someone every night.
>>85598859>I want to sleep in bed with someone every night.That's actually not very comfortable, the fantasy does not live up to the reality. Living by yourself is fun and relaxing, living with people, even sexy people, gets very stressful and annoying fast.
>>85598882Living by myself is torment, and the neverending silence has driven me insane over the years. I want to cook for someone. I want to get gifts for someone. I want to hold someone. I want to be silly, serious, fun, happy. I have zero fun living by myself anymore. It is monotonous, boring, and a prison. When I used to have guests over, it was the closest I felt to actually experiencing "life".I want to give a lot of love. Going to work to come home alone feels absolutely soul grindingly useless.
>>85598938You seriously need to start meditating. This will teach you to take a deep dive into that void of inner silence you have spent your whole life avoiding. Instead, you are living in a fantasy of once I can dedicate my life to a special someone only then will I feel whole and complete and happy. Do you know how many men who have all that still aren't happy, and how many wives treated perfectly still cheat on their husband while he's at work? If you're unhappy now, don't expect anyone else to make you happy, the shift has to come from you alone, if even, if ever.
>>85598996Been there done that, I haven't avoided it I've explored myself to death and now I'm sick of it. Beyond sick of it. I genuinely see death as a more tantalizing and promising outlet for all my pent up energy. Do you know how many people have that and are happy? Overwhelmingly so? Do you know how happy I was just having a friend? I've seen what that looks like, and I yearn for it. I can be happy, if I have someone to be happy with and for. I cannot be happy alone, and I don't believe anyone not maladjusted seriously can.
i think its extremely cruel for someone to spout "muh meditation, muh happiness in loneliness" to someone who is extremely depressed due to being alone.
>>85599011Oh, I see see now. I've met many posters like you here, who value their sense of sanity or normalcy more than the actual experience of feeling happy. What has to change is either for you to actually completely give up hope to the point where your mind jailbreaks itself because there is nothing to orient to, and after this reset, a natural state of baseline happiness becomes the default. Or to just learn to stop caring about your own self-image, or what anyone else thinks of you. As someone who genuinely enjoy being alone, I'm sure people think I'm crazy, but I don't care, because in my direct experience I am actually feeling happy. Maybe start with some simple mindfulness of gratitude. Think about how much suffering goes on in homes where nobody has any time or space to themselves, and now look around at all the space that you have to yourself and get to do whatever you want with. Go do something goofy, spin around in circles, make silly faces and animal noises. Can't do that with a live in gf, she'll get the ick.
>>85599019When the root of someone's suffering is discomfort with facing silence, whether inner or outer silence, ironically silent meditation is one way to nip it in the bud, actually face the fear/torment directly until it dissolves.
>>85599060nah, i read >>85599056. youre not an enlightened pilgrim of loneliness. youre just another demon in human flesh thats attempting to subvert another anon and drag him further down than he already is. jewish, maybe, if i had to guess. or some dipshit trying to cope. i spit on thee.
>>85599056 I come from a broken home. I come from absolute poverty. I've been homeless. I spun in a circle, in a chair. I did all that. 10 years ago. I already gave up hope, that's why I tried to kill myself once, and why I will try so again. You are very unique in enjoying being alone, and I believe it's because you haven't been alone for long enough yet.>>85599019It is strange that I can directly state the happiest moments I've had was regular contact with someone who made me feel like I mattered. And that my biggest fall into depression is repeated isolation and solitude. Even psychs think my life is not sustainable and that major changes are required.>>85599060It doesn't dissolve. It has gotten worse, louder, and more consuming to the point where I have lost touch with reality over the years. Meditation and introspection is not a panacea.
>>85598829>Could anything snap you out of the dead end of your life, anons?Only the supernatural. Otherwise, I know what to expect. It's all downhill from here for me.
>>85599072anon, youre wasting your time trying to explain your life to him. hes just going to spout some pseudo-intellectual babble and tell you that youre better off alone because he wants you dead.i know your feel. i havent spoken to another human in person that wasnt either directly related to me or my landlord in...fuck, years. at least 4. i dont remember what a hug feels like, i dont remember what someone telling me that i matter sounds like. and even if someone tried to do those things, id reject them. im no longer compatible with those things. noone deserves this except the most heinous of monsters and predators.
>>85599069And what are you?>>85599072>You are very unique in enjoying being aloneNope, it's fairly common>it's because you haven't been alone for long enough yetTo the contrary, spending much of my life alone as a child and teenager taught me to be easily amused and entertained. Later in life I actually tried socializing, used to have friends, even dated a few women, but it paled in comparison to the spontaneous fun, joy and freedom that comes with just doing whatever you want by yourself. My happiest memories, recent and long ago, are not with people, but from times when I was lost in bliss at home by myself or outside somewhere with nobody around.>>85599072>It doesn't dissolve. It has gotten worse, louder, What you resist persists, as they say.>and more consumingLet go, just let it consume you, have an ego death, let something inside your mind die so that something inside your soul can re-emerge, so to speak.>I have lost touch with realityNo problem, and this comes with the territory of emotional freedom. Imagine having no sense of reality or normalcy to orient to, no past, no future, those are just thoughts, there is only the present moment. I'm not even talking spiritual or philosophical now, just forget about there ever having been a past or that there ever will be a future, what is real right here, right now. What is here in your direct experience that is not a thought, not a concept, not a memory.
>>85599095>youre better off alonehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgs9QUtWc3M
Buzzers
>>85599217You are utterly disconnected from the reality and suffering of other people. You are speaking words without saying anything, while ignoring what you were told.
Easily, my whole life has pretty much being a comfort zone. Is there a certain wisdom on not moving much from what works? yes. Is it a dead end? yes. Any kind of serious movement would snap me, moving from this home, changing cities, meeting someone that makes me go outside, hell, probably just forcing myself to go outside and do things. The thing with a job is that you grow older and wiser and realize that it is what it is, just a job. It comes back, it eventually gets boring, and with all the covid stuff, the best part is indeed the people you waste time with daily somehow.
>>85599270I've been there, you're free to leave, but you won't because you are attached to your constructed sense of identity. Your life story, everything you've been though, believing in the limitations of cause and effect. Imagine realizing that all of your suffering was totally meaningless, it's too much of a mindfuck to even conceive of. This clinging to what you believe is "reality" is what is denying you giving yourself permission to feel happy.
>>85599056>oh you want to kill yourself because you're unbearably lonely?>just go for a spin in your room dude!these fucking people dude.
>>85599576I laughed, because it's actually true. Childish playfulness is a subtle but powerful antidote to misery.
>>85598829If it's dream job can you negotiate less than 9-5 schedule? You are burned out because you have no free time. You need to carve more time for rest and yourself.Cut hours, reduce commute length, hire housemaid.
>>85599217>if it worked for me it must work for everyone else, after all everyone thinks the same way i do and has lived the same life i hadretard
>>85599669I'm saying it doesn't matter, because believing in your own life story is the thing keeping you unhappy.
