does anyone else get really sad and depressed about the passage of time? i feel like my life is going by so fast and i don't have any time at all to stop and appreciate things. this morning i realized that if i live to be 80, 4 years will be fully 5% of my life, and i thought about how recent 4 years ago seems and it made me think about how short life is. i cried for an hour. anyone else know this feel?
no. i can recognize and understand that i should feel bad about it, but i feel nothing. it's all a grey featureless slurry to me, i can't really care about anything in my life no matter how hard it reasonably should hit me.
Yeah then you think about how if you spent the next not even four years, but one year working super hard at x y and z you could achieve all these crazy things and you go mmmmmmmmmm that sounds like a lot of work and then flop back on your bed and continue snoozemaxxing
>>85716047Yeah. It just seems to go faster and faster as I get older. I can't believe I'm 23 now, the last year of my early twenties. I really don't want to reach my mid twenties, I wish I could have stayed 22 forever. That's the ideal age I think.
>>85716047I vacillate between that, and then feeling grey and empty like >>85716057Everything is just cycles and loops of the same bland boring nothingness. Then something wakes me up briefly and I see much time I wasted. Then I get depressed because things have moved even faster than the last time I noticed. Then I sink further down into sadness, because I know nothing I do can change the course of my life, until everything is grey again. And I stip feeling.
Not the passage of time per se, but the speed of change in the world and lack of obvious stability, on top of it going in a direction that seems indifferent not just to me, but anything I could call my own, I.E. my people, my nation, my race, my view of the common good, etc, really makes me feel like it calls into question my entire reason for being. When I think about it I just feel like meaning is extracted and then I don't know what I'm doing at all. I feel somewhat nervous and lack the inner peace to make an investment in something. I know there's something deaply retarded and inherently absurd about this but I'm not always able to snap out of it.
>>85716116>yeah I'm 23 nowshut the fuck up lmao
>>85716308Outwardly it isn't retarded at all, it's perhaps entirely justified, but I mean in an ultimate sense. A lot of things in the world can remove you from confronting the most fundamental and important aspects of reality. You can make yourself go pointlessly insane by concerning yourself too much with the goings on of the world as if you have any remote ability at all to affect it beyond how your existence is expressed. You have no obligation to concern yourself with it all, but you can be a beacon therin, and affect others.
