regret, grief, yearning and loathing. you can cast them away one day at a time, but you get worse with each day that you drink. i am yuckthere isnt a way out when youre this far gone
Sure Nami, but sometimes we get so used to these things that we don't cast them away, but actually reel them in. Take care of yourself.
>you get worse with each day that you drinkyeah so maybe stop that and pick like literally any other daily vice that doesn't dramatically amplify your obvious anxiety and depressionhow long was that sobriety stint you talked up earlier this year? like 2 weeks?
>>85716793about 4 months then i couldnt gaslight it away anymore, i have no other vices that work. it feels as if i lock everything away behind a wall until it explodes but drinking lets it seep out in manageable amounts. everything just degenerates anyway
>>85716829go to rehab retard
>>85716904i cant even find a therapist you think rehab is going to help? drinking is a symptom not the problem. what do they say, they speak of my drinking but never my thirst?
>>85716953we cure and heal symptoms even if we cant deal with a problem yet, because sometimes to heal the problem we need to deal with the symptoms first
>>85716961my friend i have tried and failed to get into more acute outpatient programs that address the real root causes. i'm not a dysfunctional alcoholic, i hold a full time job and can mask appropriately. it's an outlet so i don't do something stupid again. taking away this symptom just means im going to accelerate doing dumb shit even further, i cannot stand being alone with my own mind and thoughts. yes i already did cbt, dbt, emotional regulation, all of that.
>>85716999ah, you got an addictive personality and emotional dysregulation. have you tried romance and intimate love
>>85717024im goign to lower ur download speed with my mind
yeah i'm not arguing for rehab because i honestly think you larp about your drinking a lot of the time and it's mostly just a cry for attention like everything you saypersonally daydrinking for just a year was the closest i'd ever actually been to killing myself, if i had your wfh marketer/techbro/whatever money i'd at least be on pharma opioids and rotate them biweekly with something else to avoid toleranceyou're kind of on that trailer park-tier poorfag existence cope when you have no reason to bedo whatever you want>>85717024you're inflicting psychic damage on him i hope you know
>>85717044>you're inflicting psychic damagehow
i had a friend that was one of those>but whykidsaccidentally hooked his lip casting a fishing linestill pretty proud of that
>>85717044think anyone who used to know me in person knows i drink more than i even let on. being wfh means i can just keep doing it through the day and i drink 15%+ minimum rather than cruising on low% beers. i hate daydrinking and i hate how much ive done it over the last 15 years but i hate being trapped with my mind even more.>opiodsive seen too many lives ruined by these so i have a hard barrier no to them.>poorfag existence copei come from trash background, 'did whatever i want' and found no meaning in any of it and thats why im in my existence cope anyway. heck my most recent decent back into this yuck habit is traveling on holiday and spiraling out from it.what i want and what i can do are two different things>>85717079w-wha i dont get the fishing thing or how that plays in but thats a cool story can i hear more
>>85717178you sound like a bot
>>85717208yeah i have no personality no dreams no value no soul
>>85717218do you have a name
>>85717235i don't want to be named.
>>85717252do you want a blowjob instead
>>85717079hooked on a fishing line is one of my fears, i always imagine catching one in the eyelid or eye. i don't want to be anywhere near a pole.
>>85717336dont be silly. i want to cuddle under a blanket watching the stars, i want to travel and marvel at food and sights, i want to tickle and have silly injokes. you know, the things that come along with love and loving. exploring life.>>85717349time to wear bulletproof glasses when fishing
>>85717394do you compartmentalize
>>85717394i used to put on a pair of bulletproof goggles every time i would give the stray cat i was looking after kisses. never risking my eyes around an animal with claws.
>>85717409to the nth degree
I don't browse /r9k/ anywhere as much as I used to, so it's nice to know you're still kicking.I think about you at least a few times a week, usually worried that you've taken a dirt nap or ended up at the funny farm again.
>>85717394the day you'll give up hope on getting those experiences is the day you'll actually be able to live
>>85717592Hu tao... dude
>>85717588sometimes I wish someone would say this about me.Anyways nonny, I wonder if putting you in the head punch machine would help... in atleast that you don't have to speak to anyone.
>>85717592express route to wearing grippy socks when you do this
>>85717623My concern is sincere. I think about a lot of people I've encountered on the net over the years, and I think about them often.Lately I've been thinking about the internet friend who I played Animal Crossing and FFXIV with five years ago. I miss him a lot. Best friend I ever had.
