It happened again last night: I dreamt my parents (who are still together in my dreams) took me on a bit of a road trip, we stopped at a rest area that had an arcade and old game consoles for sale (specifically the Sega Saturn), and they simply left without me. They wouldn't answer when I called them, didn't come back 'hours' after I waited, nothing. This is a recurring theme in my dreams now.>I'm 37 btw
>>85725727i mean. fear opf abandonment. there it is.
>>85725754But they've already (effectively) abandoned me; they divorced earlier this year.
>>85725761i mean, do you call them and hang out with them and stuff? sounds like they abandoned eachother. if you don't call them, did they abandon you any more than you abandoned them?
>>85725727My best guess is:Sometimes, when your parents took you places, it seemed a bit more like a chore for them to take their kid out rather than done out of sincere love and/or enthusiasm. They did at least a few things with their kid that they rather not have,but went ahead and did it anyway. Maybe there were times when they did things with you because they loved you. But there were times when they did things with you when love itself was not strong enough to motivate them. Maybe sometimes they treated you kindly out of love. But it seems your child-self suspected that sometimes, they treated you kindly out of duty during times love was lacking. And that maybe they'd rather had not bothered, and that affected you in at least some unconscious way.
>>85725931I text my mom every day, but when I mentioned the possibility that she may never be able to physically see me again (she moved to the other side of the country and I don't get vacation days), she responded with >whateverI generally don't contact my former step-father as I can't really go to that house anymore anyway.>>85725949They usually just sent me away every summer. At one point, they sent me to spend a summer with my bio-dad (which I didn't want to do), and that ended in just three weeks and him basically disowning me.
>>85726030gee anon. it sounds like your parents are some serious niggerfaggots. no wonder you have such a fear of abandonment; it's cause you're being abandoned. I hope you can find some kind of community of bros or something. It might prove very, very important.
>>85726049Deadass, in the coming year, I'm either going to reenlist (got kicked out twice, much to my parents' chagrin which may have contributed to them essentially 'giving up' on me) or get back into RuneScape hardcore. Just need a $3K gaming pc for that one...
