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>>85777599
Post a pic of your hormones with timestamp. What's your intention with this thread btw? You know everybody usually hates your kind, right!

Lucky lucky lucky. I am forever cursed to be a repressor by my age, masc face and now norwood IV pattern baldness. I'm AGP though but had dysphoria as a child.

I'm not going to open myself to the scorn I would face by turning into a gigahon.

>>85777611
>right!
That was supposed to be a question mark in the end, my bad

>>85777599
Not sure if tranny kind of vague. But if you mean for mental illness I just take regular meds it would be a humiliation ritual to get injected imo no I don't want needles in me Jews. My life is a nightmare.

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i will cuddle you and spoon you and eventually you will feel my boner on your asscrack through my shorts

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>>85777611
if you are weird abt needles then u should mayb not look. i just get rlly happy and i need an outlet so i can calm down and posting here helps me express myself so i can move on to whatever it is i need to do for the rest of the day
>>85777614
hi nona you owe it to yourself to be on hrt no matter what your circumstances are. i hope you can find peace with this sentiment bc it would likely help you in a lot of mental ways that youre not even aware of. i love you and you are my sister
>>85777628
i do take ocd medication in the morning but i am referring to hrt in this post

>>85777599
lucky ass can afford injections

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>>85777690
I just wanted to be sure that I wasn't going to lose my time with a larper, I advise you to delete that post because of jannies.
>posting here helps me express myself
How do you deal with the hate against you here?

>>85777690
I know I should... my family is all dead now... nothing is stopping me from it... but I just can't help but feel like it would just blow up in my face. How do I even start the process? Therapist? Psychologist?

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injection day just makes me sleepy & braindead

>>85777777
>Psychologist?
What do you want?

>>85777811
I meant psychiatrist, one who can perscribe drugs and stuff. As for what I want, I have no fucking clue.

>>85777690
show your tranny tits

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>>85777760
i dont think ppl actually hate me so that helps. ik posting here and being trans will draw negative attention and sometimes it does make me cry if i read the wrong thing on a bad day. i was socialized male as a child so ik how men think and it helps that i can relate to most ppl and see myself in them a little. also ik if ppl that claim to not like me ever got to sit down and talk w me we would become friendly nearly immediately. i am confident in that
>>85777710
i am privileged in some ways. i make sure a vial never goes to waste if i can help it
>>85777777
diy or informed consent clinics are ur fastest track. there is an hrtgen on the lgbt board. let me know if you cant find it and i will link it to u. also if you need extra help mayb i could connect w you on disc. no girl should go without lifesaving medication. please lmk
>>85777870
i did yesterday. you missed it

>>85777973
I'm nervous about ordering diy, isn't that illegal? I don't live in a very trans friendly state so I'm scared.

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>>85777973
I will feel guilty if you get banned so I really think you should delete the pic of your previous post.
>i was socialized male as a child
So you started HRT as a teenager? How old were you and when did you realize you didn't want to be a man?
>it does make me cry if i read the wrong thing on a bad day
Brutal, but it triggered a doubt in me. Do you think you have become more emotional since you started taking foid hormones?
>i did yesterday
Do you think your future bf would be happy with you doing something like that?

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>>85778009
i do not know about how legal or illegal it is. i just know that it diy hrt is safe and cheap. you can also check out plume and planned parenthood but it is a bit more expensive. if u are ftm there is a bit of an issue bc t is a schedule 3 substance in the states. i rlly do now know much abt that specific drug. you would do your self a lifechanging favor if you head over to /hrtgen/ on the lgbt board and ask specific questions there. there are many ppl that know more than me that understand how important it is to help u. i have no experience w diy as i get my hormones thru my pcp. i started w plume and it just was not worth the monthly cost
>>85778050
it is ok i will take my ban if i get one. i do not want to give my age out but i started young but not as young as some ppl. my realization was not expressed as some sort of epiphany. i can only speculate why i feel how i feel but i am nervous to give credit to what has influenced me. i had a scary childhood and all i know is that i could not spend another night crying over being born in the wrong body. too many hours spent disassociating and unable to understand why i feel so disgusting. transitioning saved my life and i still sometimes wish i was just born a girl. i am doing so much better than i was a year ago and it is not even close
i cry mayb once a day on bad weeks and every other day normally. hrt has unnumbed me emotionally and i am excited and happy to have access to feelings that i did not know i could have
i do not know how he feels abt it. i am sexually repressed and i bottle up my sexuality too often and i end up exploding in unhealthy ways at times. i compare it often to my anorexia where when i restrict for to long i end up binging. i owe it to myself to express myself sexually whenever i feel safe doing it. i believe that he would open his heart and ears to me and allow me to explain how i feel before making a judgement. he does love me after all and i want to love myself all the same

>>85778111
Thanks, I'll do that. Even if I don't girlmode in public I can least pretend at home.

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>>85778111
>it is ok i will take my ban if i get one
If you say so *shrugs*
>i am nervous to give credit to what has influenced me
I suppose it's better if I don't ask you about it then, right?
>i could not spend another night crying over being born in the wrong body
When was the first time you remember you cried for not being born a girl?
>disassociating
What did you use to think about when you were disassociating? About how you wanted things to be, maybe? More precisely, I'm curious about the way you imagined things. Did you imagine real narratives with people you know in real life but with you as a girl? Can you give me an example for me to picture in my mind how exactly that happened?
>i am sexually repressed
Why? Do you feel dirty if you masturbate?
>he does love me after all and i want to love myself all the same
Do you have any plans to find him or are you just going to wait him fall from heaven or something like that?

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>>85778126
i am proud of u. u literally made my night
>>85778179
>I suppose it's better if I don't ask you about it then, right?
i can only speculate and it often leads me to thinking bad thoughts. i would say the qrd is that there are too many variables at play and trying to isolate a few of them is a mental health hazard for me. i am weary of myself or others when they attempt to co-opt my transition with their own explanations. my biological dad was not a good man and men have attempted to groom me when i was a minor. when i am of sound mine i am secure and confident that gender dysphoria is to be credited for influencing me to transition. i could go on and on on this topic
>What did you use to think about when you were disassociating?
i still rarely experience stuff like this. typically if i stare at my hands or arms for too long i start to misunderstand what i am looking at and i convince myself that i am not me and that my hands are either not real or not mine. it is truly scary and it use to be so much more common when i was not on hrt. i used to be in impatient recovery when i was at my worst with anorexia and i remember always staring in the mirror and just not understanding what i was looking at. being numbed by long term restriction helped me manage these feelings. i could also speak much more on this topic
>Why? Do you feel dirty if you masturbate?
to keep it short. i have maladaptive thought patterns and rumination ocd surrounding topics of purity and wanting to be angelic and sexually clean. this is interwoven into my anorexia and gender dysphoria in very complex ways. exposure therapy helps like speaking w men i feel safe with online at times
>Do you have any plans to find him?
i do :)

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>>85778281
>men have attempted to groom me when i was a minor
A-Anon, why are you using that word on plural...? Also, although I know that people generally say abuse in childhood has some connection to gender dysphoria, I think the key question I search is "why?". You can jump this part if you feel like it, but assuming something bad really happened with you, shouldn't it make you want to be more manly? I'm not trying to change how you view things, it's a real doubt because since you had a traumatic experience while being forced to "be the girl", I find it weird for it to affect one by making he going after being a girl (yes, I know it won't fully apply for you because there are more reasons for why you're like this).
>gender dysphoria
But did it only start after the abuse/abuse attempt, or did you always have a little of it in you?
>i start to misunderstand what i am looking at and i convince myself that i am not me
How long does it take for you to reach that state and for how much time can you remain that way?
>it is truly scary
I thought you did that as a form of relieving your pain in bad moments. Aren't you aware that you're going to experience this if you keep staring at your body at those moments? If so, then why do you do that?
>helped me manage these feelings
The hunger helped you to come back of your trance-like states, is that what you mean?
>anorexia
By the way, how did those around you reacted to this? I suppose it's impossible they didn't notice you starving yourself.
>topics of purity and wanting to be angelic and sexually clean
Do those thoughts let you free when you feel safe?
>in very complex ways
Indeed, it's easy to grasp what you mean but hard to actually understand what those thoughts must feel like.

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woah i did not expect for this thread to go this way. can i ask why ur so curious abt this stuff? its fine i like yapping
>>85778435
>A-Anon, why are you using that word on plural...?
i have a few social and mental issues that can be used against me if ppl rlly want me to behave and conform. i am a vulnerable person and often give too much trust and vulnerability to ppl before rapport has been built. now that i am older i have opsec and precautions closer to the forefront of my mind when i am talking to anyone. i was used by my biodad and it wrecked the natural barrier i could have created by growing up normal and in a healthy environment. it was not until recently that i realized that i am more attractive than i thought and that men actually quite appreciate me and my body. this has opened up a lot of new ways for me to express myself especially sexually. i am repressed so i feel like i am playing catch up and learning how to be sexual. there are many speedbumps that are impossible to miss that i have to force myself over if i want to be healthy and learn to enjoy myself sexually. and i do not know what it feels like to want to be masculine. i have always aligned more feminine in my appearance body language mannerisms media consumption and friend groups. i do not relate to men in any dimorphic sense and i enjoy that quite a lot
>But did it only start after the abuse/abuse attempt
it would be impossible to know. i have only a handful of memories of my childhood from 5-16. my grandparents were more influential in my formative years than anyone else
>How long does it take for you to reach that state?
i can force it but i usually have to be pretty tired and liminal to begin with. mayb a few minutes of focus. once things start feeling distorted it becomes rlly hard to not look. it rlly does seem like my limbs become 3 times as long and unrecognizable. i have harmed myself when in this state a few times to try and snap out of it

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>>85778435
>The hunger helped you to come back of your trance-like states, is that what you mean?
long term restriction does a decent job at allowing ur body to enter a sort of autopilot mode. i could only do the bare minimum bc of hypoglycemia and digestion siphoning up all of my energy since i have ruined my digestive tracts ability to function properly. i have ritualistic compulsions running alongside this and that took up a lot of my mental energy at the time. i miss my sick body at times but ik that i would ruin my life forever if i ever relapsed as bad as i used to be. i am still underweight and i have accepted that i will always struggle with food. my mom took my food scale away months ago and i still wish i could get it back. i struggle to trust any other ones for irrational reasons
>how did those around you reacted to this? I suppose it's impossible they didn't notice you starving yourself.
my mom was terrified and ended up resenting me for it. my mom ended up pleading with me to try and understand what or why i was doing what i was doing. i think it stained my relationship with her. before things got rlly bad she would compete with me using her own ed habits. i feel responsible for my sister and my moms ed habits that i have seen them display
>Do those thoughts let you free when you feel safe?
ig im not sure wym exactly here. i still have these ideals ruminating in my head and they are an active deterrent in allowing me to explore my sexuality with men. what makes me feel safe is a combination of feeling pretty and speaking to someone ik i can trust and making sure all of my ocd obligations are met
>Indeed, it's easy to grasp what you mean but hard to actually understand what those thoughts must feel like
lets just make a podcast atp

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>>85778558
>>85778622
>precautions
What precautions do you make sure to have when you're talking to someone?
>can i ask why ur so curious abt this stuff?
Every now and then I act like this, I think I like to picture how other people think/feel. It also makes me feel like I'm talking to real people, who have detailed backgrounds and stories which are responsible for forming who they are. Something like that, I guess. It has got nothing to do with sexuality or anything like that.
>it wrecked the natural barrier i could have created
So you became more prone to trust others too easily after that? Shouldn't it work the other way around?
>there are many speedbumps that are impossible to miss
What do you mean with that?
>media consumption
Honestly I think the old popular view of target audience by media is kinda outdated. I have never seen a woman which watched a shoujo anime, for example. Women nowadays consume media directed at male audiences, which is a bit funny. Okay I think I went to an off-topic thing here, let's move on
>friend groups
You have always preferred to walk among women? What was the difference in the treatment you received from your group comparing the time before and after the transition? It doesn't matter if the friend group changed, so I think personal opinions about your transition from others don't fall in this category.
>my grandparents
Now that I stop to think, how did you free yourself from your bio father? Did you do so by starting to live with your grandparents?
>once things start feeling distorted it becomes rlly hard to not look
Why would that still happen if you are already on hrt?
>to try and snap out of it
I thought such trance-like state went away when you realized you were in trance, something like remembering you can breath manually (sorry for remembering you of that rn btw). That's really weird in some way.
1/2

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>>85778622
>long term restriction does a decent job at allowing ur body to enter a sort of autopilot mode
I see... That's something I hope to never have to experience ngl.
>try and understand what or why i was doing what i was doing
What did you answer her at the time?
>ig im not sure wym exactly here
I wanted to know if the compulsions of being pure and sexually clean go away when you feel safe, but since you said you only feel safe when your OCD obligations are met then I suppose that's not the case. If you need to feel pure in order to express yourself sexually, then why do you express it in ways that wouldn't look so "pure"?
>lets just make a podcast atp
I daydream about being a podcaster sometimes, sounds like a comfy job.

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from this point i am going to keep my answers a little tighter and narrower just bc this is feeling like a therapy session in a way and idk how i feel abt that but i am grateful that ur interested and i like ur reasoning 4 being curious
>>85778771
>What precautions do you make sure to have when you're talking to someone?
this is a never-ending work in progress and protocol gets stronger the more ppl i speak with. they are mainly mental and client-side in that if someone is attractive or i feel as if i could become obsessive that i will repeat in my head that this is an online thing only and that they do not have an obligation to me beyond casually chatting. in a way it is like setting unspoken boundaries for the other party that protects them from me being too off-putting or becoming too involved. there are also general formalities like not being so quick to offer up information or vent unheedingly even if a man seems up to letting me cry on their virtual shoulder. there are many more but i want to keep it short for now
>Every now and then I act like this
its like the opposite of anti-social so i like it
>So you became more prone to trust others too easily after that? Shouldn't it work the other way around?
unfortunately for me one of my fav things sexually is pleasing and making the other party feel like they are a king. i like feeling less than them and it often makes me desperate to do whatever i can to please which naturally puts my guard down which is something i also rlly like. i like being vulnerable i think it is hot in a sexual context but the damaging this is that outside of a sexual context i am very much vulnerable and these are functionally very similar. i have taken a bit of time atp to see how i can separate those two vulnerabilities so i can still enjoy the utility from it. idk if this makes much sense desu lol
What do you mean with that?
it would take 2k characters to answer this so i just wont for now

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>>85778871
Don't worry, since it's already late in my time zone and my body wakes up in the same hour everyday, this post will just be me saying my opinions without asking for further information. If I find the thread tomorrow when I wake up we can continue from where we stopped if you want.
>>precautions
Wow, some of the things you used to do from what you just related made me wonder if you have BPD. Having it or not, I'm glad that you are actually progressing and becoming a better person by learning with your mistakes in the past.
>its like the opposite of anti-social so i like it
It's appreciated.
>i like feeling less than them and it often makes me desperate to do whatever i can to please which naturally puts my guard down
Hmmm, sounds like a systematic problem. I don't think I'm going to have any good advice on what you should do to avoid situations you may regret but you sounded very proud when you said to anon that he lost your moment yesterday even though you weren't horny lol.
>idk if this makes much sense desu lol
It does. I hope you manage to find a good conclusion on how to deal with that.
>it would take 2k characters to answer this so i just wont for now
Fair.
I think I shall go to my sleep now, I will remain with the thread saved so if you end up saying something else I will read it even if the thread is already dead by then. Thank you for your time.

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>>85778771
>>85778781
>I have never seen a woman which watched a shoujo anime, for example.
for what its worth i am a huge poser i have nvr watched anime i just think nijika and ryo r super cute
>You have always preferred to walk among women? What was the difference in the treatment you received from your group comparing the time before and after the transition?
i dont rlly know how much of it is a preference vs which social groups where first to signal to me that it is ok that i sit next to them at lunch during highschool. it has been the case for most of my life where i feel much more comfortable being around woman and speaking with them from the perspective of a friend. this could be for a myriad of reasons. i am androphelic so perhaps a small portion of this is to appease a social dynamic
>how did you free yourself from your bio father?
spent lots of time living w my grandparents. my parents divorced. i do not know where my biodad is and i do not recognize him as my real dad
>Why would that still happen if you are already on hrt?
i am weary to say x is bc of y to begin with. my dissociation may or may not be related to gender dysphoria. all i know for sure is that all of my issues have gotten better being on hrt and measurably so
>remembering you can breath manually
my bestie tells me this verbatim when i am not doing well :)
>What did you answer her at the time?
i was incredibly deep in denial abt my health and my siuation. i likely expressed a million times that i am ok and that nothing is wrong. i did not chose to go to impatient
>I wanted to know if the compulsions of being pure and sexually clean go away when you feel safe
they remain but i can ignore them. like any popular ocd therapy it is important to remind urself that things will be ok and that thing that u think u need to do - u do not actually need to. feeling comfortable and in the moment helps a lot

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>>85778964
thank you for your kindness and your time

now that your conversation has concluded can you please post your bussy. i've been waiting patiently you know.

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>>85779032
i would rather go be featured in an isis beheading video than do that rn but thank u for ur patience

Are there any nice trannies here that would play vidya with me

>>85779074
you were posting it just a few hours ago you dumb bitch lmao. not that anon btw, just someone who knows you and just found this thread

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>>85779135
i play like two games. what do u play anon? lowk if its something i actually play ill hop on rn
>>85779150
i know like 3 ppl that would call me a dumb bitch that im mutuals with. do u know me know me or just from here. okay also it was yesterday and that is meaningfully different than a few hours ago -_-

>>85779198
I play a lot of stuff, it would probably be easier for you to say if you only play two games.

>>85778982
>i am a huge poser i have nvr watched anime i just think nijika and ryo r super cute
How incredibly disappointing.. you're still adorable thoughever

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>>85779209
okay so one game rn. the only thing i have installed is deep rock galactic. ive been trying to stay off video games the past few months so sorry ik that is extremely limiting
>>85779234
okay r u the anon that i see posting variations of that word on tttt. the thoughever word i swear i see it everywhere lol

>>85779309
>ive been trying to stay off video games the past few months so sorry ik that is extremely limiting
That's unfortunate. Maybe one day I'll find a nice tranny to game with.

>>85779198
>i know like 3 ppl that would call me a dumb bitch that im mutuals with.
I know you. I told you I'd knock you up with my bastard children recently haha. if you can't remember which man told you that then you really need to slow down girl

>>85779309
Lol no i dont usually post on the tranny board, sweetie. I think its a sharty thing o algo

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>>85779348
sorry! ive seen u post around a few times atp. im curious why u always ask 4 a tranny. i dont think its a bad thing ive just nvr heard ur reasoning
>>85779397
RATTY!!!! RATTY IM PREGNANT WITH UR CHILDREN AND I NEED UR WALLET COME RAISE UR CHILDREN!!! no im joking but also i meant my normal friends lmao it is nice to see u here :D
>>85779408
omg i thought i finally caught u! idk what sharty is but thank u for thinking i am adorable and calling me sweetie that made me smile

>>85779454
>I NEED UR WALLET COME RAISE UR CHILDREN!!!
D: oh no it's not fun anymore!

>>85779454

Similar to this post. >>>85774985
Trannies are a lot nicer to robots than cis women are.

>>85779454
I've been caught!! The new queen of /r9k/ is very astute

>>85777599
are you black or trans?

>>85779484
All of this is lies and a bunch of bullshit to garner simps for attention whore trannies. Even trannies hate incels and only want to be around attractive above average men. Don't fall for it

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>>85779480
i said i wanted to be a mother not a single mother. i hope ur gf liked her gift idk if she got it yet but i am rlly happy to have inspired u for that specifically. she is one lucky girl :p
>>85779484
i made a few posts in that thread. i genuinly try to be sweet and kind whenever i can express it bc it is important to me and it is the type of girl i want to be
>>85779511
if i was astute i probably would know what the word astute meant thoughbeit :)
>>85779607
my ethnicity is pale and i am trans

>>85779685
you look like a drag queen, don't you?

>>85779682
>i genuinly try to be sweet and kind
That's very cute of you.
Now I just need to find someone that could potentially be that for me.

>>85779685
You seem smart enough to be able to use context clues and still be witty and that's good enough tbdesu op-sama

>>85779685
You're really cute I want a trans gif like you. I missed you posting your tits though :(

>>85777599
Please post your tits and butt again I need to see them

>>85777777
nice digits brother

>>85779685
>my ethnicity is pale
that is such an adorable way to say that you are white

>>85780894
OP is totes adorbs like that. An absolute cutie patootie. A delicate little flower.

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>>85778871
>>85778982
>>even if a man
So you don't use that protocol with women too? By the way you have talked about OPSEC, has anyone ever tried to doxx you before?
>i have nvr watched anime
Eh? You disappointed me now, anon! Well, whatever. I didn't finish most anime/games whose characters are in my folders anyway.
>friend group
I see. But anon, could you tell me the differences you felt between being among other girls as a male and being among them as a trans girl? Did you start to be accepted easier?
>my dissociation may or may not be related to gender dysphoria
Gotcha.
>they remain but i can ignore them
I see. I understand the feeling a little I guess, I have also had pretty bad OCD. Anon, may I ask an example of a maladaptive thought pattern surrounding purity of yours? It doesn't have to be linked to sexuality.

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>>85781718
hi and good morning anon :)
> So you don't use that protocol with women too? Has anyone ever tried to doxx you before?
i should be more clear that my response regarding opsec should be analyzed from the perspective of me speaking to men online in some sort of sexual way like once disc tags are exchanged. i do not want to be this to be misunderstood as some sort of defense i have up at all times irl. and i suppose i would do something similar with women but i do not seek out women of any kind to talk to outside of platonic friendship so it is a little different. opsec looks like a serious looking acronym but i would assume i am using it like everyone else. no one has looked to dox me that i am aware of since i tend to stay friendly with ppl i interact with on a personal level
> You disappointed me now, anon!
>_< sorry!
>Differences you felt between being among other girls as a male and being among them as a trans girl?
i have always struggled to make friends and my experiences with friendship are typically isolated to online. this is an off question bc i want to instinctively push back and vouch for myself that i was always a trans girl. i traded most things to focus on my eating disorder when it came to school. this meant limiting energy output toward social and physical obligations as much as i could. im struggling to answer this question. i have a cis girl that i hang out with irl and we go eat together and like go shopping sometimes and she has always treated me the exact same. my best friend online is a cis male and if anyone he has changed his approach with me quite dramatically since coming out as trans to him. he is gentle with me and is quite protective like a bigger brother in a way. sorry yea this question is difficult given my lack of normal social experience
>Gotcha
im glad someone has got me
>Example of a maladaptive thought pattern around purity?
i will respond to this shortly when i have time i want to think of an articulate example 4 u

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>>85779708
men have described me as anywhere from cute to beautiful. i would like to think that i am quite cute and men always enjoy all parts of my body from multiple angles. as my confidence increases i feel more comfortable standing up for myself at least enough to say that i should not be compared to a drag queen. i have no interest in drag culture but i do think they r cool and nice and stuff
>>85779725
i want to find someone too. thanks for calling me cute. ur cute too
>>85779732
finally someone agrees with me that i am witty omg i think i can be funny sometimes unironically so thank u!!!
>>85779762
i mostly only do that stuff on disc. when i am feeling bold i do it on lgbt. extremely rarely here on this board. sorry
>>85780894
it wasnt lost on me how cute it was either lol. thank u
>>85781149
ok that is so cute i like being compared to flowers wtf thanks i will think of this comparison all day literally

threads like these irritate me. not because you're a tranny. i mean i love making fun of trannies but i don't hate y'all. it's just that when the OP seems so carefree in what they're putting out onto this board, i get a little jealous. that is all.

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Realistically speaking since twinks/femboys/trannies and even women are all chad only and will refuse to fuck anyone that's below average and will even wish death on you for being below average while hitting on them what are the dating options available for below average guys? Just escort services?

>>85782227
>i get a little jealous
iktf, it's hard not to seethe when someone else gets to be a real person

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>>85782176
>hi and good morning anon :)
Oh yeah, I always forget to greet people. Good morning.
>i do not seek out women of any kind to talk to outside of platonic friendship
Wait, are you implying that you add m anons on disc to do lewd things? Gosh +_+. If that's so, then what happens after you 2 are done? You just ghost each other?
>my experiences with friendship are typically isolated to online
Are you a neet?
>i was always a trans girl
What I meant was that I suppose you weren't seen as one before hrt, not that you saw yourself as a man. That makes the think, did you already use feminine clothes and such even before the treatment?
>i have a cis girl that i hang out with irl
How did you become her friend?
>she has always treated me the exact same. my best friend online is a cis male and if anyone he has changed his approach with me quite dramatically since coming out as trans to him
Wow, I suppose you're their friend for quite a long time already.
>sorry yea this question is difficult given my lack of normal social experience
No problem, don't mind. I'm just surprised you didn't drop out at such a morbid state where you were almost in autopilot.
>im glad someone has got me
'the fug
>i will respond to this shortly when i have time i want to think of an articulate example 4 u
As you please.

>>85782227
>when the OP seems so carefree in what they're putting out onto this board, i get a little jealous
What? Why?

Stupid fucking attention whoring tranny hope you and your simps die.

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srry i am not home and responding to things as i go i hate how i try to keep things short but i end up tap tap tapping more words in lol i feel like im blogging buts its fun
>>85782303
>You add anons on disc to do lewd things? If that's so, then what happens after you 2 are done? You just ghost each other?
i have only done this with a handful of men and my experience is likely not even the norm. most times we share pics and fantasies abt things we want to do to eachother. i rlly like to fawn over men and get super into pleasing and serving and simping so that is typically my angle if they r hot. yes most of the time contact is halted after the first sexting session or whatever u want to call it. i still chat w one or two guys here and there that i ended up hitting it off well with. it is fun to causally flirt w zero strings attached and i do not want to be ashamed anymore for finding enjoyment in it. my first experience w this was from a man i met on this board and we have flirted and had lots of fun every once in a while for like almost a year atp. he is v experienced and kind and friendly and i got a little to obsessed at a few points which hindered most potential development for anything to happen beyond the keyboard. but i am grateful that he has helped me in so many ways and he was the first man to actually let me know that i am pretty and sought after and that my body is nice and that i am cute and hot. he rlly is a great man and i love his soul very much bc he set the bar high in a lot of ways but most importantly he held my hand thru metaphorical barbed wire and was so patient w me thru exploring myself for the first time. i could write a book abt him but that is just be getting myself giddy over him bc i think abt him often. it is hard not to and he was nvr made me feel like a whore or impure
>>85782463
my entire thing is that i rlly like fawning over men like if anyone is a simp it is me

>>85782463
OP is actually a very smart and emotionally intelligent girl with a rough past and she deserves to be blowbanged by a bunch of hairy musky robots who make her feel smol and useful on her knees.

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>>85782820
Don't need to apologize, op. You don't have any obligation of keeping up with me.
>i do not want to be ashamed anymore for finding enjoyment in it
Based, but it's still funny to see the contrast between what you like and what your OCD wants you to be, lol.
>i got a little to obsessed at a few points which hindered most potential development for anything to happen beyond the keyboard
What did you do when you were obsessed for him? 0_0

>>85782820
Manipulating and using men maybe but definitely not fawning over them.
>>85782839
OP is a massive whore who exploits lonely men in order to get simps and attention and he deserves to die

>>85783046
Why haven't you closed the tab, little chud? Are you just jealous you'll never be as cute or as adored as OP?

>>85783149
Anyone could become as popular as OP if they had a vulnerable group of people to abuse and manipulate like he does

kys troon

You do not like an anime girl.
You look like a freak of nature and everybody sees your male bone structure from miles away.

>>85783156
You seem like one of them borderline intellectually disabled folks. Bless your heart, cupcake.

creepy vibes

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>>85782839
i appreciate ur kindness but ugh please dont rn i would be so flustered and worried that i wasnt giving equal attention to all of them. thinking abt being circled like that is making me feel fuzzy. i want to feel useful and help in whatever way they think is appropriate. pls no more hot strings of words idk i hate u now but not in a bad way ugh. ur planting thoughts in my brain and u know it. its not fair u cant call me smart and then write that stuff right after
>>85782985
> Based, but it's still funny to see the contrast between what you like and what your OCD wants you to be, lol.
it isnt too uncommon for my ocd to create dichotomies like this. an endless game of tug of war were one side consists of irrational and non-tangible ideals created by ocd and the other side is how i could theoretically express myself without being stunlocked by my issues. at most times it feels like both sides are pulling as hard as they can but the rope remains still. getting on hrt and working on social changes has definitely influenced the rope to move in the correct direction
>What did you do when you were obsessed for him?
it feels wrong to talk too much abt this esp publicly. it felt like i was dating him in my head but if any normal person were to at any point analyze our relationship they would easily come to the conclusion that i am at best desperate and at worst delusional and off-putting. i dont rlly want to get into it all too much since it makes me sad but again i could write for so long on all of ur questions. u ask rlly good questions. thank u for being so attentive. should i be asking u questions too?
>>85783046
if only u could see some of my dms with the men that i like and speak with lol

>>85783401
Yes I'm sure there are men that you like and agree with and they're probably 6'4" and have 12 inch dicks and are way out of your league so they're the few men that you're actually nice to.

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>>85783422
why be so sure when we have never interacted before? my bestie online is a straight cis male and i love him to death and i am not attracted to him and never have been. i spend so much time daily hanging out w him and even his friends at times. i am always nice to all of them out of principle. i do not like anti social behavior when it can be avoided and every day i strive to be a sweet and kind girl and that is not going to change. why do u think i am so horrible when we do not know each other at all. i was socialized male growing up in a lot of ways so ik how society socially disenfranchises men and i want to empathize with that. i care more than u think but u want me to be evil and idk why

>>85783479
Because you are evil and a few small good interactions with men doesn't erase all the bad interactions of you manipulating and abusing men for attention and simps. And I've interacted with you and others like you in the past I have experience with your kind I know exactly what you are whore.

Wowzies what this thred four sorry is it like docmentation?

>>85783527
Tranny farming simps and orbiters for his discord accounts

>>85783538
Ohh but this not a farm it a board lol, I want two use discord but have a Twitter myself

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>>85783401
Sorry for the wait, my migraine was hindering me.
>influenced the rope to move in the correct direction
I wonder what's the correct direction hehehehe. Just kidding.
>i dont rlly want to get into it all too much since it makes me sad
ok ok, fair
>u ask rlly good questions
Oh, ty ;)
>should i be asking u questions too?
If you feel like it, sure. But don't do that just because you think you should be doing that to show respect or anything like that.
By the way, anon... About the rest of my post on >>85782303... If you're tired you can just say it, but if you aren't, can you answer it? :p

>>85783774
Hewo nice two meet you I am Jamie

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>>85783832
Is there anything you want to say to me, Jamie?

>>85783858
I not good with questons nomally lol I just wanted two say hi I autistic to if you are!

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>>85783538
out of all places to get attention but i guess for people in here the stakes aren't high

though im guessing they are doing a good job doing that cause i decided to peek in here since i kept seeing this shit bumped

>>85783954
He's also been camwhoring for simps and posting his nudes so yeah he's going to get retards to simp for him

>>85783968
I not like nudes it a bit scary

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>>85783774
>If you feel like it, sure. But don't do that just because you think you should be doing that to show respect or anything like that.
i not only feel like it but i think i should do it to show some respect. do u get ocular migraines or do u just mean u get rlly bad normal headaches?
>Example of a maladaptive thought pattern around purity?
im not sure how this is going to read since i am self aware that this sounds irrational but at the same time it has a real affect on me. i need certainty about certain perimeters around my caloric intake and my body in order to know that i am attractive and desirable and worthy of sexual intimacy. i equate feeling light as being pretty and feathery and pure
my mom took away the food scale that i trusted a while ago and i have other scales but ocd makes me doubt whether their measurements are accurate. i similarly eat out of the same bowl and use the same coffee mug each time (i clean them very well and often dw). even after weighing my food and eating and doing the math correctly i cant help but ruminate on thoughts abt how i could have messed up and the scale might not be calibrated correctly. i end up overestimating how much i had eaten despite being in a deficit for literal years atp. i end up feeling fat and undesirable and not pure and clean. if u plug these feelings into my desire for my future boyfriend u can see how he will now not find me desirable anymore and now i will nvr get to kiss him and he wont want to have sex w me anymore. this is just one example

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>>85783968
ahhh that makes much more sense, just get a boyfriend at that point jfc

>>85783858
There's definitely something off about you kris

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>>85783886
Why are you typing that way?
>>85784030
Sorry for leaving, a friend of mine called me to go for a bike ride.
>do u get ocular migraines or do u just mean u get rlly bad normal headaches?
It's NDPH, I slept on a bad side and the veins around the right side of my face are more sensible today, looking too much at a screen can make it worse and I had spent the entire morning on 4chan.
>but ocd makes me doubt whether their measurements are accurate
It's really weird to read about other people's compulsions, but I think they really come in all ways after all.
>this is just one example
I see, it was interesting to read about.
By the way, did you already use feminine clothes and such even before hrt? I got curious about it.

>>85784589
I forgot to reply to you. Why are you calling me Kris?

>>85782217
post a selfie wearing a cute mini dress and the knee socks

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>>85785162
That's camwhoring and will get op banned

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I guess I came back too late, bruh. Cya.