>get autistic gf>she has never been with anyone in anyway before, says she thought no one wanted her and she die be a crazy cat lady>has abandonment issues because her dad abandoned her and her mom when she was 5 years old.>things go great she is very affectionate despite her 'tism>lots of snuggling, kissing and stuff>know communication is hard for her so I casually check in with her now and again>"hey we're good yeah? I'm not doing anything to annoy you that you feel too awkward to bring up?">she would also sometimes say "so you're not sick of me yet?">we both reassured each other we were happy in the relationship>fast forward to three months in the relationship>she ghosts me for 3 days in a row>I'm freaking out because we have always spoken almost every day since starting dating>she messages me on the 4th day>"hey would you be able to meet me when you finish work?">pretty blunt and to the point which isn't like her she is normally far more "mushy">we meet>she tells me it isn't working and she wants to break up>I ask why, she says there is nothing big but it's just small things that just built up>she says she feels drained after every time seeing me>I asked her how long she has felt like this and she said "just before Christmas" so about 5 weeks>she is absolutely adamant we have to break up, zero chance to fix anything>she showed no warmth towards me the entire time, didn't smile once, in fact she looked at me with contempt as though I had killed her cat or something>she couldn't maintain eye contact either which was never a problem in the relationship>after talking for about 20 - 30 minutes I say "so thats it then?">she stands up without looking at me says "yes I wish you all the best" in an emotionless voice and walks out without looking back onceWhere did I go wrong bros? I can't tell if the break up was a woman thing, an autism thing or a me thing. I know it was only a 3 month relationship but it still hurts to get blindsided like that
She told me early on that she does autism masking around most people. When I asked if she did it around me she said "No I don't think so" in a reassuring way. Perhaps she was subconsciously though? It's frustrating because I would have zero problem lowering the intensity of the relationship and seeing her less frequently if thats what she needed.She also seemed to give me most of her time and attention and give her mom and brother the bare minimum and he rmom got pissed at her for that about a month into the relationship and didn't talk to her for a week. Once I realised I told her never to prioritize me over her family. I told her I don't mind seeing her less if she wants to spend time with them. At the breakup talk she actually brought this up, saying in an accusing tone that she hasn't had much time for her family since we started dating. Which is weird because as I just said I always told her I wanted her to still spend time with her family. I brought up that I told her to spend more time with them as she accused me of guilting her. Perhaps her trying to balance her family and me lead to her being overwhelmed?
She most likely got a smidge of attention from a more attractive guy and it made her realise she was too quick to settle.1Don't think about it too much.
>>85881618Did you have sex with her? It can be a massive turn off if you don't if she comes around to sleep over shes expecting sex
She sounds overly complicated or retarded sry to hear it anon..>>85881721Or maybe this who knows...
borderline personality disorder, she's splittingshe will be with someone new or begging for a second chance in a couple days, maybe weeks if she's resilientalso I swear I've read this story before, is this a copypasta or is there just a BPD pandemic going on amongst r9k moids?
>>85881618>>85881637hmmmm mmmma similar thing happened when i dated an autistic girl. she wasn't abandoned by her parents and had an overall decent environment.there were some different problems of course but it was the same thing of us talking all the time then her gradually pulling away and inviting me on a final date to tell me it's not working for no particular reason, she also looked at me with a sort of anger that day, and she also brought up autism and masking in the days leading up to that.i panicked a lot more than you though because i saw it coming every step of the way, i aggressively tried everything to talk it out and let nothing get lost in translation, she wouldn't have it. on our final date we agreed to stay friends and we kept messaging each other but at some point she *really* ghosted me, wishing me well and telling me she'd never felt so close to someone, and now we'll probably never talk again.and yet she would still smile at me from a distance if i was in the vicinity when it was still just after we'd stopped talking (there was a place where we both hung out).i think it's just how women with the 'tism are. my current theory for dating this type of woman is to basically not care about their emotions, treat everything they say as if you were talking with a coworker about engineering, and anything emotional like a manipulation attempt or a game of make-believe. you mustn't actually feel love for them, they hate that.
>>85881770autism+bpd is more dangerous than normal bpd because you attribute all the bpd symptoms to autism and convince yourself she doesn't have bpd
>>85881767>also I swear I've read this story before, is this a copypasta or is there just a BPD pandemic going on amongst r9k moids?Well the story says Christmas was 5 weeks ago
>>85881806i actually started considering that one day while thinking about it. it's probably the case, but there's no way to check.i'm fine now but at the time it was really brutal. she was also super smart so she dealt damage very potently like no mere bpd hoe could.
>>85881806Autism and BPD, that's hard to wrap my brain around. Feels like those two are on other sides of the spectrum.>>85881770That sounds miserable because the game is hypothetical eggshells regardless. Are you suggesting people with autism don't form attachments, or can dispose of them at will?
>>85881824>she was also super smart so she dealt damage very potentlyLike what? Turning people against you?
>>85881820I only skimmed it I don't have the mental energy to read a whole ass diatribe in detailthis is why and how people fall for these fucking copypastas>>85881824>>85881857basically every autistic girl I've ever met also had a BPD diagnosisreally though it doesn't matter what you call it, bpd or autism or pure narcissism or functioning sociopathy or just "overstimulated and handling it poorly :(((" they're all just different labels for the same core problem that she just never fucking developed empathycognitive empathy for the purpose of manipulation at bestthe core difference between autism and bpd and narcissism is basically how impulsive and stupid and selfish they are, because they all lack a mature empathy
>>85881861not directly, but yeah she did perfectly portray herself as completely innocent and hurt by my <insert anything>. it didn't hurt my relationship with our mutuals besides the ones that already didn't like me, but among the people who believed it was all my fault, there was me. that hurt.>>85881857>Are you suggesting people with autism don't form attachments, or can dispose of them at will?i don't know what's going on in their mind, i doubt even they know. it's just a pattern i picked up from talking to another woman like that and asking her questions. i have an opinion on how to interact with them, not on the underlying causes.
>didnt respond to my postbum ass nigga I was only trying to help
>>85881882>>85881944i didn't refresh.>basically every autistic girl I've ever met also had a BPD diagnosisdire. she really was charming in many ways.>bpd or autism or pure narcissism or functioning sociopathy or just "overstimulated and handling it poorly :((("i did think of all those labels. at one point i wondered if it would go away with age, but the other woman i talked to that gave more data is way older than me, and isn't any more reliable so i don't think so.
I don't like this thread because you are saying people with autism are lizards. I don't think that's fair.
it's probably an autistic woman thing. i hate myself for it but i've been similar to this before. i can't speak for her obviously but in my experience at least i was overwhelmed and needed space but tried to ignore that instead of saying it because i was a people pleaser and that seemed insulting. it also feels impossible to be inconsistent without a good reason to change things so it feels like you're held to a certain standard in that way that's just part of being in the relationship despite the person not setting it for you. it seems like it has to be all or nothing and it gets to be too much at a point. seems like you did everything you could've done but she didn't know how to navigate things.
Sounds like everything you got from the relationship is something you could get with literally any woman. Take it as a learning experience and use it to find a girl you truly like.
>>85881975>i wondered if it would go away with ageat best she might morph into a sort of quirk chungus wine aunt type but do you really want to be involved with one of those?>>85882036lizard hands typed this post>>85882200>it's probably an autistic woman thingeveryone thinks autistic women will be better than a normie woman because she shares your interests but then neglects the fact she will be impossible to deal with and never compromise in the relationship and just generally be an adult toddleralso TRIPLE DUBS?wasted
I had a one night stand with a girl with autism in university, worst fucking night of my life.Girls, offering a guy you picked up a gangbang with a third party unknown male the moment they get to your place is not good. Secondly, whining about your apparently abusive ex-BF the entire time is a turn-off, too. Thirdly, giving your male company random glasses of water filled with cloudy powdered medicine is fucking s-t-r-a-n-g-e. Lastly, constantly taking pills the entire time is fucking weird also.I only stayed because I was so worried she was gonna kill herself what with all the ex-boyfriend crap. I gave her a romantic evening of being a simp in bed cuddling and massaging her and then fucked off in the morning. So trust me bro it's an autism thing because I seen it too
>>85881618>I say "so thats it then?"You sound kinda passive and autistic, maybe she wanted you to be more emotional and distraught and interested in her.
>>85881618heh heh hehyou must become....sexually destructive
>>85881618Why do you keep posting this shit over and over again and why am I the only one calling you out on it
>>85882276>I gave her a romantic evening of being a simp in bed cuddling and massaging her and then fucked off in the morning.this is why women are the way they are, you knowthey always get what they want so why ever improve?
>>85882310I knew I'd read this before but the archive wasn't loading for me
>>85882036not exactly, watch.>>85882200>i was overwhelmedthis is it. i believe autistic women really are victims of their senses and feelings, and you have to avoid being a source of distress at all costs if you are to be tolerated. the thing is that's really hard because nobody else can know what you feel, it's like trying to guess a new color, still i understand, a lot of us have these internal things that are like 80% of our lives without showing on the outside at all. but, and this is the part that doesn't make so much sense to me, they never want to explain it, it's unbelievably hard to pry it out of them, i guess because talking about it makes them feel it again or something? being questioned is a source of distress in itself? who knows, as soon as you try to talk about it you enter an area where it's impossible to distinguish the real feelings that they can't control from the convenient bullshit.i only learned more when an autistic woman spelled it out for me, all i can do is wait for yet another one to accept to tell me the rest of the story in a setting where there is no reason to warp the truth.
>>85882326I just kept thinking if this was my sister or cousin or something, how angry would I be if someone thought she might hurt herself but just left.It's okay. I'm a man. I can handle one night of not having sex. It was kinda nice anyway.
>>85881618As an autist retard male, this shit made my head hurt to read. If autistic women really this enigmatic about thier true romantic desires, I am totally fucking cooked because I'd be even more unreadable to them. For that reason, if I had the social skills of course, I could think about dating a non-autistic normie girl who doesn't seem like emotional fuck up that autistic girls are, but then I realize that normies detect my autism and immediately exclude me. Holy shit, I actually am just gonna be alone forever.
>>85881618No one cares about your normal nigger storiesFuck off
>>85882339telling people things like that feels very vulnerable and it is stressful in itself but i think another part of it is that it's reasonable to expect a bad reaction to saying that which makes it feel wrong to admit. it's not something you want to hear especially after the person you're with has been acting like the opposite. the alternative of letting it go on until it ruins things is obviously worse but it seems like something you can ignore and it will go away eventually. i haven't met many other autistic women though so idk if they think similarly but a lot of the mistakes i've made in relationships were trying to not make people upset. i think that's a lot of it.
>>85881618>where did i go wrong bros?by feeling sympathy for autistic womendon't get me wrong, some women with slightly autistic traits are cute as hell but the full on autists that acknowledge it and make it part of their personality are horrid whores. do not bother with them.
>>85881618i don't know if it's autism or autism in the case i experienced but a really similar thing happened with the girl i loved who broke up with me. the biggest difference being maybe that she felt really bad about it, like wasn't ever cold or unfeeling or anything, we both were really sad as it was ending or at least she felt sad how much it was hurting me. but she also similarly couldn't ever give much of a strong reason, or well it was like "small things that built up" resulting in her feeling bad about the relationship pretty much like you said. even now i still don't really know what to make of it even though we talked about it a lot and nothing was on bad terms. it's just confusing sometimes like i still ask myself all the same questions you do, if i did everything i could or not, etc.i don't know. i guess maybe at this point it just doesn't matter, all you can do is accept that maybe you just won't fully understand and move on.
>>85881857Isn't that a common feature of autism? They have problems socializing and relating with others. I genuinely think I'm slightly on the spectrum. I was officially diagnosed dyslexia as a child but I don't think that was accurate. For me, I don't think I've ever truly connected with anyone. Even my parents. 4chan is the only place i've ever truly been myself. Like I always have many layers of secrecy. Even when I'm black out drunk I don't blabber. I nearly killed myself drinking once and my parents didn't even realize I was drunk because I was still putting on the normalfag act for guests. The best move is probably to just give them lots of personal space and alone time. Like it could take actual years for them to actually feel comfortable with you. On the flip side, you might not even actually like them if they came out of their shell.
>>85881618>"just before christmas" so about 5 weeks agoCouldnt even be pissed to change this in your copypasta
>>85881618your first mistake was
>>85881618Never trust an autistic woman
>>85882395aspie here,I never realized these women existed until I met a couple of them. Even I was approached in high school by girls who grew to dislike me the moment they got to know me and I gave them the "Ick".
>>85881618That means she didn't feel like she could drop her filters around you, and had to put in effort whenever she was speaking with you, which is exhaustingt. Autist
this thread makes me so sad over how patient my ex was with me and i wasn't with her. i don't know how to live with myself like this.
>>85881618If your partner suddenly becomes distant and cold it means that they are involved with someone else. Every single time.
>>85881618Female autistic coworker>obsessed with feminism to absurd point>not even other females could stand her>constantly trying to bait me into drama>constantly calling my attention>engaged in tard rage a bunch of times>bluescreened whenever i called on her bullshit>boss and coworkers protected me from her>she constantly fell for my ragebaits>she left work and never blocked me>i recently unblocked her>right after she noticed i unblocked her she started posting sexual bullshitAutistic trans woman (inb4 not real woman)>everything is going well>we fuck several times>suddenly "theres no chemistry">talk to her a year later>she said she was going thru a hoe phase>she said i scare herAutistic zoomette gf for 7 months>she fell for me on first sight>she acted like i was everything to her>she was abused her whole life>relationship goes well in general except for ocassional episodes of tard rage>i moved the oceans and stars to keep her happy and stable>one day she sends me naked pic (she never did it before)>i was having money and health problems>she says out of nowhere shes feeling anxious and depressed>she says she want to breakup>i say, ok bye because taking care of her was a bottomless pit for my money and i had constant migraines caused by her episodes>she puts pfp of her almost naked>she spends a whole month going to my workplace and calling me from others peoples phones for me to come back to her>i tell her to fuck off or i will call the police>saw her twice again like she was fishing for me>i ignored her both times and she got the message and got lostI dont want any more autists in my life. Fuck off.
Do not trust woman again
>>85881618This is my worst fear. Doing everything right and then she gets a tingly feeling and fucks off for no reason.
>>85886479>trans>we fuck several timesHAHAHAHAhahaha FAGGOT! Everybody laugh at this faggot.
>>85881618There is no difference between a normal woman and an autistic woman
She got social burnout. Idk how often did you see each other, but when I first started dating me man I could only handle seeing him once in a week or two. Getting to know people is so exhausting. But now we live together and it's alright. I had a pull to run away and admitted as much to which he just said that we can do it at my pace and want to continue trying even if it's rough so that kinda won me over
