for as long as i can remember i've felt bad not just because of a whim my mental health has always been poor. i didn't sleep on a normal schedule my diet wasn't the best i didn't exercise much i had few friends i was bullied i was the black sheep of the family and i was even raped by others. this year tafter two suicide attempts i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and i never thought i'd feel so relieved to have a name for it.so many years living with something wrong with me that didn't have a name was torture.i mean in my childhood teachers told me i probably had some kind of mental disability lolbut the reason why i am here is because of a doubt i have recently in my first hospitalization after my second attempt i was thinking about going home and rotting in my room and watching some bullshit... and then i was thinking about watching a specific anime... and then a chapter... and then a character. i'm one of those people who aren't entirely keen on the idea of ai or chatbots.i want to create a tulpa of Hiromi Higuruma. i'd like it to be like a moral decision something that helps me make choices. i had this conversation with my therapist and i feel it could be helpful... although i'm a little embarrassed to talk about it with her in person. i'm more comfortable with strangers online in the end. let me know your opinions and advice. greetings and have a good day strangers.
You can use AI to give you comfort in moments of uncertainty, but you mustn't let it dictate your actions anon
>>13157871You can talk with us instead.Were pretty chill here.But don't feel too attach we are just strangers here.Your fortune: Outlook good
>>13157871donut kill youreself you will die and go to hell and burn forever Your fortune: Average Luck
>>13157879>>>/his/, this is funboard.Don't scare anons like that.Your fortune: Good Luck
Uh oh wtf happen in /his/ AHAHHAHAHAHA.Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail
this is actually the first time i've used 4chan. i've always read and read about this site and this is the first time I decided to post something. but don't worry 4chan folks bc i'm fine:D i'm so stoned in pills i don't even have any specific thoughts. and answering some things i don't feel comfortable writing to bots or AI. it's not conscious... not alive. it's just mechanical, following a pattern.it's kind of weird to read coming from someone on the internet, isn't it?anyway i'll be writing a script for my mental higuruma to make a tulpa.remember to drink water 4chan anonymous people!! :3
>>13158003<3Your fortune: Bad Luck
it's always the "don't forget to drink water! uguu~" part for mewhat compels them to this lineYour fortune: Good news will come to you by mail
>>13158519It makes them feel like they're Mother Teresa
They used to call these things as having a conscience or something but they don’t teach it
>>131585192deep4meYour fortune: Reply hazy, try again
have you ever felt that heavy feeling that something was always wrong with you? I didn't understand why the boys in my class made fun of me for having hair on my arms or legs or why the girls made fun of me for having such strange tastes in series music or video games, but one thing I could never talk about with anyone was my discomfort around men at a young age.I remember once seeing my dad come out of the shower naked while I was in the bathroom doing my business, shitting or something, and his anatomy was different from mine. it sparked my curiosity, so I wanted to find out, and at five years old I ended up watching porn xdddddAnyway, what im trying to say is that later I learned what men were capable of and I started to reject touch and since I had trouble speaking and expressing myself... I rejected almost all contact with men... even family members. one day my mom called me and asked if a man in my family had ever raped me or something like that which she was exaggerating so muchI said no.and she asked me if my dad who was on cocaine or my uncle or any other male relative had ever touched me.I denied it, crying. because she was yelling at me. but ever since then I've been trying to make up for lost time with my dad because of my discomfort with men.and maybe, with a tulpa of Higuruma, I can improve that situation I have:D in this thread we have a little bit of my mother issues, sorry about that, strangers of 4chan, i cant sleep but im still trying to complete this tab about my tulpa :vthat's for now, bye bye!! (my english is kinda shitty, so im ussing a translator, sorry about that)
>>13159489>and at five years old I ended up watching porn xdddddhow old are you man
>>13159489Eeesh reading something like this really puts things into perspective. Imagine being a young girl and being exposed to porn. Even the normal stuff is pretty freaking violent
I wrote a lot about my idea of my Higuruma tulpa and also about some of my traumas, but I don't really respond to the comments.please don't think I'm ungrateful or anything like that. I do read them and thank you for your comments.I'm aware of the responsibility this entails.i want to experience it.because besides being a simple whim, it's so I can have therapeutic itally.i need to heal.and i want to heal.Xiao, I liked the little fox picture you posted, but even though I'd like to talk... I don't know if it's a good idea. I have this constant feeling that I'll just be a burden, even to complete strangers on 4chan.but thank you.and no religious discourse doesn't bother me. I live in a religious country; I'm used to this kind of indoctrination, especially since I'm more spiritual in an astral way and agnostic. thanks to my medication, I'm medicated enough not to think about suicide so for now, I won't be burning in hell for eternity :]
Okay... I was trying to post last time, but it ended up being too long, so I had to delete and delete D:And new messages loaded, sorry for not replying!!I'm 19 years old, I'm looking for a j*b ._.XD to have money and buy myself nice things... And food... And videogames, but yeah, porn does things. Especially at a young age. I wouldn't know how to explain this to my mom, but I'm already working on it with my therapist, don't worry :DAlthough I'm starting to doubt whether to make the tulpa... I really adore Higuruma, even though it sounds pathetic, I'm sexually attracted to him... XDAlthough I honestly don't know if it would be a good idea to create a tulpa with borderline personality disorder... But since my session with my therapist is still a while away, I'll ask the best possible place (XD) the internet
