https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E9yoJOqvEA
i feel horrible for my friend but i dont know what else i can doi cant convince someone to stay when they dont want toall i can do is let them know i will always be there for themi really dont jnow if its worth it to reach out to the people involvedthey show their true colors , how they really feel about those who struggle with episodes of mania or psychosis or self harmits not worth itthey dont see people like us as humanjust interchangeable tools in a wider framework they can exploit for laughs and to feel more superior
i will play hylics for a bit to try and feel better (distraction) (copefound this cool autist dude on deviantart that draws the beatles with colored pencil and its the cutest thing everi should make a deviantart account , to keep track of all the lovely autists i am particularly fond of , its such a great site and always makes me feel warm seeing the unabashedly amateur artists make art that only they care about
idk wht i do yto deserve thispsychic painuniverse hates menothing stable in my life to lean onidk why i am still on here , the longer i stay on here the more difficult it will be for me to socialize with normal people and get a lesbiann girlfriend ive already been poisoned since i was 13idk why i keep doing this to myself becos nobody cares or reads thisn i had to solve three captcha ans verify my email just to post this cus imn in my bedgrr
i domt wana get banned againdo i just move to r9k at this pointi dont wana post nudes anymore just to keep my threads upim so tired of iti just wana talkthats all
may i die in my sleepAMEN!!!!!!
>>35249432This is what your friend thinks about you.Nobody thought of benny as being mentally ill until this recent episode. - bazingo
>may i die in my sleepmaybe then you will stop shitting up this board. Never seen you on this board before and yet you type like you are well known. Stop pretending to be whoever you are trying to be. You are a nobody.
>>35250118you are a liar . you all have joked about how you think he is unstable multiple times before and have tried to diagnose him with either autism or a personality disorder in your psychoanalysis circlejerks . it is so fucking obvious you don't see him or even me as equals . i dont understand how you think you can show me out of context shit when first of all none of you have bothered to reach out to me and ive had friend requests turned on for days , ive read everything you guys have been saying in the server, and i literally have tge 2 hour recording of the vc he had with you guys yesterday . you are all so happy to degrade him and laugh in his face and belittle him and dont even say anything when some people in yhat vc make psychopathic remarks about self harm . you all derive pleasure from stomping on people whwn they are down cus of obsesion with feeling superior . at the end of the day you all live on discord too and have no life or else you wouldnt be engaging with this shit i dont understand why you think a single screenshot would change anyrhing , no shit he has said mean things to me whwn he is ashamed for me and exasperated with my behavior , i dont deny i am erratic and hurt myself in many ways and it gets on EVERYONE's nerves all of you have said shit like this about me before , yet he can apologise to me because at the end of the day he genuinely cares and wishes me well . and now i cant even talk to him any more , all of tjis has affected him so much he functionally deleted FL and hasnt been responding to my messages , idk why you people derive so much joy in hurting people who are struggling mentally
like even know its so obvious you guys do not actually care , you would rather engage with me between layers of seperation on a soc thread and think im so fucking mentally ill i literally cannot form my own opinions when i have directly seen and heard everything you guys have been saying . you all talk behind my back about how i am a lost cause etc like at this point i know how you all think about people who struggle with mental health and self harmdont get what the point of this is , assuming i dont know everything that happened????? are tou guys just gona continue tormenting me cus your main lolcow is gonenone of you are genuine its neurotypical psychopathy finding joy in people who struggle with mental health or menral disability hurting from a direct cause of your callousnes and refusal to realize there are real people behind all of this but sorry , i guess we should all just "get off of discord and social media as a whole" and be admitted into psych wards until we become "NORMAL" because ppl who struggle shouldnt be allowed to have social support despite struggling i guess
The beatles are a shit band and you are autistic for being this obsessed with them. Your problems are also not real problems, you are just a retard.
>>35250751>maybe then you will stop shitting up this boardmy apologies for ruining the culture of the Faggots And Trannies Posting Their Dicks and 40 Year Old Men Trading Revenge Porn board>>35251012cope and sneed , the beatles are one of the most influental bands on the planet . Shame On Thee
No blog posting. Post your snatch/tits or get banned.
>>35250118i guess river has withheld from anybody what i sent after i deeply regret that post.
i also cant believe you guys screenshot that before it was deleted, it's like you've all been building a case against me for a while
>>35249421Are you that australian girl yunners or w/e?
>>35251062They dont have a single good song, and the only people who think they are good are boomers who have shit taste in music, and apparently you. Saying shit like "theyre influential" is just regurgitated boomer slop. You might as well have just quoted the wikipedia page.
>>35251154just some halfbreed girl from michigan, cut from a similar cloth to the australian dumbass, you can see her nudes in the hairy girl thread.
>>35251264i have a name, you know... ; _ ;)>>35251245clearly you have nevar listened to the white album>>35251073you can licherally go look at them in /hgt/ right now if you wannt
>>35251609you also have a set of tits and a nice ass but you insist on blogposting instead of showing them off youre nameless until you do
>>35251629and yet you are still replying to this thread, encouraging my blogpostan'... curious .alsoe stop announcing your sage it makes you look like a retarded newfag (which you are)
may i monkeepost as well ... hmm .. i hve been holding back because i feel like anons would sperg out way more if i did compared to beatleposting but meh either way i love both bands dearly !!tomorrow around noontime me and mom are going to ikea again to pick up final pieces of furniture and then on saturday we will assemble them and then . i think that is basically it and then my mom will want me to move up their permanentlyi dont even know how i feel i sorta just feel calm right now but at least im excited to go to ikea cus eveytime we go we eat at the food court Yammy.. ... .. . . ,....
shit i forgor to sage thatpls do not kill me janny-sama
>>35251245this is a very good point and it's really funny how this girl's probably like 20 and brown and still falling for the whole beatles are good meme. you're literally getting residual brainwashing from 70 year old intelligence agency ops you hopeless autist
>>35252172i am genuinely curious why you believe the existence of the beatles (or their popularity) is a psyopi assume the argument you will make is that once brian epstein (GULP very unfortunate last name) took control over the band and he heavily marketed them towards teenage girls , that That is the psyop part?? or maybe you have a different explanation entirely but thats usually the most common argument i hear for why their popularity is manufactured because anything marketed to women is horrific and shallow but if its for men its based and awesomebut i mean i saw pictures of them online and thought they looked cude and listened to their music and thought "hey this stuff is nice" really nothing deeper than that . the fact that they happen to be one of the biggest bands ever is just a happy side effect cus it means i can consoom like hundreds of hours of documentaries and books and fanart of them heh
i am brown, 21, and THRIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDdDd
i love you revolver an i love myy revovlller keychain bury much it makes me very happyhappyhappy...
an i love my paulie keychain too althouh i dont have help in cd form yet which is sad cus i have been listening to it a lot more recetnlyso we jus had to make do an took picture of it on hard days nightticket to ride has been stuck in my head the entire day is so goodlove the drums inn it so much shoutout to Rigno Sitar
ringo and eppy .. so cudei have become so disoriented and forgetful in my daily life i am afraid of what is happening to mei don't know if its depression or just lack of mental stimulation from sitting in the same room for like 14 hours a day every day since getting out of partial hospitalization three months agoprobably both, the latter causing the formerso many little slip-ups in my usual routines, doing steps out of place or forgetting some entirely, none are too severe but the amount of tjese slip-ups has been compounding and i dont really know how to fix itim scared cus more of them are starting to happen when im driving or around the car, reaction time slowing down for breaking and such and today i got into the passenger seat of tje car instead of the driver seat mindlessly Two seperate times todayidk like i just feel like am in a fog or trance not fully aware of whqt im doing and just on autopilotwake up , drive to starbucks to get le coffee milkshake cus its the only thing i look forward to anymoree , go home , sit in room , leave once or twice to let dog outside and hang out with him in the backyard cus my dad never doessame day over and over just repeats itselfidk
Ok
>>35249774I don't mean to contactfag but if you ever want to have a normal conversation I got u bro
Certified seed hater this one is.
im so fucking tired of it all i dont want to do it any moreall she does is order me around yells argues screams (by the way we aew in an apartment genuinely doesn give a fuck about the fact that other people are around and have to lisen to her) says cruel things to me says im useless cus i cant do anyrhing and whenever i stand up for mysel and say the reason im exhausted is cus i have to hear you yell and belittle me all the time she insults me even more and says im weak and I NEVER WOULD HAVE SURVIVED HER UPBRINGING and when i cry in the bathroom she has absolutely nothing to say and then pretends nothing happened and acts all happy silly teehee omge isa try out the new chairs gawsh why u so sassy!! pouty face!!!!and she wants to go back up on sunday at 9am to do soguess i have one fucking hour to relax until going to bed to wake up at 7am so i get enoug sleep so i dony fal asleep in the car or in aparmentkms kms kmseveey single fucking time i am wirh her ans ahe """""helps me"""" move out i cry two kr tjree times a day i haye it so much OH WHO CARWS LOL PTSD CUS MOMMY YELLED AT YOU LOL KYS KYS NOBODY CARES POST BOOBS PISTS TITS POST NUDES WIO CARW LOL KYS IYS JUS KUS KYS
i know only in a couple weeks i will FINALLY be moved out and i dont have to be aroujd them anumorei can finally be by myselfhave full control over eveythingfinally have peace and quietits just so hard to hold this in the forefront of my mindi dont even know why i still post hereits cathartic yes to have someone else other than my own eyes read what i saywriting in journals is terrible and makes me feel worse because at tye end of the day its just me talking to myself like i always doat least here someone else will read it and absorb some of my pain in a waylessen the load onmy shouldersi think i should stop posting here once i move out and i am close to my sister and she will want me to hang out with her friendsit will only continue to hurt my chances at forming normal social bonds the more i tether my thoughts and opinions and soul to this fuckijg siteneed to be off of here forevee so it can alowly leave my system and can become normal and woke and have all the acceptable normal pozzed queer socialist opinions so i can finally fucking make irl social connectiond without feeling like i need to hide huge portions of my opinions in fear of social ostracizationat tge end of tje day the only people that wanna talk to me here are braindead moids who dont think like me do not actually understand me even if they say they do and just want nudes or sex eventuallyi just want a girlfriend and to be at peace thts all
dnot kno w what to do anymorei miss my ex cus at least he woulg text me and tell me to keep pushing and it would help me remain hopeful and not linger in Suicidal Land for weeks on endits really hard for me to hold it for myself , no matter how much i am trying to remind myself how free i will feel and thqt i can literally do whatever i want once im moved out i still feel So trapped and chained to my mom and like there is no hope for me i literally feel trapped even tho im set to be fully moves out in mid-augustand i hope once i am , my sister will introduce me to some people tht are somewhat like me , and i can be their friends , and i wont even have time to tjink about 4chan anymoreand then i will finallt become normal
>>35252062the monkees are better they don't want you to know this
>>352579491. you're the only braindead retard here. the beatles suck and you being autistically obsessed with them makes you retarded2. you are ugly and that second part is just not true3. you will never find a companion because reason #2 and #1
>>35258135i really love both bands . my love for them is both intense for diferent reasons , like music-wise i can easily listen through like 5 beatles albums and not skip a single song but for the monkees its really only three or four songs off each albumin terms of other medias, like tv and movie , holy shit yeah monkees takes the cake . the tv show is very comforting and honestly actually still funny at least to me , and it halps me calm down after my mom yells at me like notjing else does lole and head is an insane movie . like actuly so good . magical mystery tourcels when headchads walk in... Gulpup early to continue moving wirh my mom please wish me well or just Hold Me In Your Thoughts today and send me gud vibes
>"we are leaving at 9am">ok dang>wake up at 7am so i can get ready and have some time to mentally prepare>its 9am>mom is just waking upwaowwoweholy shitlolshe can get extra sleep whenever she wants at the expense of other people but nobody else canlolat this point i could have gotten two more hours of sleep considering how long it takes her to """get ready"""" (take 20 minutes to drink one cup of coffee , watch tv for an hour , rhen take 40 minutes to get dressed and do makeup even tho she is fat ugly pig i cannot leave without my hecking makeup cus cus you just have to as a woman reeeee
>>35259296I am literally doing this right now. "We'll leave at 9! If you're too slow we'll hit traffic!" I am writing this at 9:45
>fully moving into apartment in 5 days>never actually bothered figuring out the closest stores to the apartment>nearest grocery store is a 40 minute bus ride one waywelp
i dont knwif all the college kids manage to survive without cars here then i canim just sick and tired of being autistic and i wish i was just normali dotn understand how any of this works and when i ask my mom she just explains things in the most weird way ever and when i look stuff up online even then i dont get it and i get so overwhelmed i start cryingi dont even understand how to pay rent or what i should know or am supposed to do so that i dont end up doing sometjing wrong and get penalized and have to be taken out of the apartment and will be homelessand yes i can drive but i dont understand anything about cars and dont know what to do when something bad happens i already got into a car crash because i got confused wht to do at an intersectioj and i only knew what to do because i just got out of driving school but if you asked me now what is the exact things you do after a car crash so its taken care of and nobody gets mad at you i dont knowmaybe i am stressing over nothing i dont know im iust really really stressed right now
i am legitimately so sick and tired of not understanding anything about adult life and how to exist independently even when i look stuff up online i get so overwhelmed and confused i start cryingbut i am not cute enough for people on adopt a neet to take care of me forever and actually be willing to help mee move in with them they can take care of all the stuff and i can just live and be happy tardat this point i am willijg to have sex and even without condom like i dont care anymore i just cant be by myself and only have my mom be ause she makes me suicidali cannot livr with my mom any longer she infantilizes me controls my life yells at me insults me is the reason why i attempted suucude twicenobody gives a fuck about me and would be willing to do anything for me not even 4chan anons when i offer they can use me for sexliterally wtf is the pointi dont eevn care if i get diseases i iust dont want to have to think about responsibility ever again
idk i always do thisnothing in real life happens at all yet i am pacing in my room crying cus i worked myself up in a thought spiral of death and i cut myself and then once i acfually Enter that situation i realise wait what the fuck this is not bad at all and i can handle thislike first day of php in chicago i thought i wouldnt survive cus im failure retarded etc etc and get stabbed to death but turns out those two months were the most amazing and free ive ever felt and i did so much things i never thought i was capable of cus i was trapped in horribke home environment and people who constantly belittle me and so i assume i will never be independent cus its worked its way intobmy head for so longgidkim sorryit will prob be better soonalso im tarded for posting nude in here when i want my whining blogposting to be seperate from my nudeposting in /hgt/am sorray
i am done for now .i need to start moving on from /soc/ i don't think i will ever find what i am looking for herei've spent so much more time drawing and making picmix and its made me ffeel more accomplished and happy throughout the dayi need to focus more on my hobbies and interests ; 4chan is a huge time sink and does not further develop my personality or help me learn more about myselfi never come away from my escapades on 4chan feeling betteri always feel worse , and regret literally every single time i make a new thread or especially emotional post when i wake up the next daythis weekend i will officially be moved into my first apartment , and i will finally be able to spend more time with my sister , the only family member who treats me like an equal and not like a child , and she wants to introduce me to many of her friends cus she feels like i would mesh well with them (and she says one of them realy likes the beatles as well) . i will also be alone , away from my mother who is the reason for my two suicide attempts . i think i just need to focus more on real - life social connection instead of impulsively posting here , i need to learn more social skills and navigating le social world . because this crowd is one i will never feel connected to or enjoy talking to , i think i need to accept i will never find the people i truly need in my life on this board or anywhere on this site for that matteri don't think i can rule out never posting on /soc/ for the rest of my life , or on any board for that matter , because like any addictive behavior you can't expect the first time trying to quit cold turkey will be 100% effectivebut i hope the more time i spend with real life people will help me realize there is much more to life than my laptop and this websitethank yew all . >inb4 "see ya next week" lul
ANYWAY