>PC: "I search for rumours.">GM: "John the farmer tells you that the Evil Black Mountain of Murder, Death, Plagues, and Cancer is the legendary lair of Murderdeathplague the Evil Cancer Dragon who's been terrorizing the kingdom for centuries. It's about a 10 minute walk outside the city.">PC: "Wow, that sounds like something. How about we spend the next 4 hours of the session going shopping?"
>>98094856Murderdeathplague the Evil Cancer Dragon sounds tough, makes sense they'd want to be prepared
>>98094874fpbp
>>98094856So true I'll go into the millennia old evil rape dungeon entirely unsupplied and unprepared
>>98094856If that was true, there wouldn't be a city near such a burdensome dragon. Your setup is retarded.
>>98094856God do I hate shopping trips.
>>98095808When I DMed 3.5 I just let the players have any magic items they could afford. This allowed me have their shopping trips in between sessions.
>>98094874Was going to post exactly this
>>98094874>>98095626>>98095818Ignoring the posts other issues, it doesn't take 4 Goddamn hours of pissing around to prepare for a single dungeon. You would know this if you actually played games
>>98095899Maybe you just suck at preparing
>>98095935>doing something in a timely manner means you're bad at itYeah, you don't play games
>>98096027this thing has been around for centuries, another day or three won't make a difference
>>98094856>who's been terrorizing the kingdom for centuries>for centuriesthen it's no big deal if they have to wait four more hours while the party makes sure they're equipped to fight the dragonif you want more urgency than that, just say that the dragon is on its way to raze the city right fucking now and there'll be nowhere to go shopping if the party doesn't help fend it off
>>98094856OP they obviously hate you because of you’re shit personality
>>98095899>You would know this if you actually played gamesShop sessions are an ancient tradition and if you think players don't happily spend hours arguing with themselves, arguing with NPCs, arguing with you, arguing with eachother, trying to find niche shops with some specific trinket they want and roleplaying around said search, you don't play.
>>98094856Honestly, in my opinions there's more tard game masteroids than playoids>GMoid: ou enter an empty room with no description and no guidance, what do you do?>Poid1: Surely there is a trap here I'm going to grind the game to a halt>Poid2: I'm going to page through the rules and find an ability or something that helps me see if there's anything in this room>Poid3: I think we should turn back
>>98095899It takes exactly as long as the players decide to take.
>>98097288>players happily waste hours of time not playing the fucking gameI'm sorry you've had to deal with such shitty players in your time>>98098880Which should be at most 30-45 minutes before they actually start playing the game again
>>98098910If you're the kind of sperg who thinks anything that isn't combat is "not playing the game" then TTRPGs aren't for you. Pick up a wargame or a board game you insufferable retard.
>>98099992I'm not taking that opinion from a nogames tard like you
>>98095899This place is a bunch of no games theater kid faggots who would rather talk about games then playing them only to convince themselves that their headcanons of how games work is reality because of critical roll bullshitery. Of course they are not going to argue in good faith.
>>98095899Listen, if they're using it to roleplay and just talk to the party members, it's awesome. You can build on the world that has existed inspite of the Cancer Dragon threatening it constantly. Introduce shopkeeps and characters that your players remember and feel close to.We're all here to have fun.
I spent the entire first session playing poker because I wanted to play a gambler and one of the other players insisted you can't play a gambler if you don't know how to gamble. I go to the casino every week but he refused to believe me and wanted to make everything I did as insufferable as possible
>>98095675He was sleeping when they founded the city. Dragons sleep a lot.
>>98098910>waste hours of time not playing the fucking game LmaoActing like buying shit "Isn't playing the game" is a mindset that could only be born out of looking at the hobby like a coop shooter or something where shopping is equivalent to sitting in a video game lobby and anything that isn't running around shooting people isn't gameplay.No nigga, there's still roleplay, gameplay, and plot hooks to be had from just talking to people. There is in fact whole systems where combat is de-emphasized to such a degree that if you enter combat it means you probably fucked up.Play something that isn't DnDogshit or find a new hobby.
>>98098910No. It should be exactly as long as they choose to spend. Like I said.
>>98094856Eh, I'd be looking to eventually work my way round to challenging the dragon, after doing some odd jobs and establishing a base of operations in town, including who we see for emergency healing, where we pawn off loot, who we can hire dogsbodies through.Also, being in good with the mayor would be handy, otherwise he might levy a substantive tax on your dragon gold.
he doesn’t like going shoppingmany times it should be this or Diagon Alley. The players get to guess what the curses are
>>98100061>muh good faithYou have autism.
>>98094856>t. never even saw a game in his lifeThanks for sharing, OP
>>98102269Nah, that's actually a point towards him having what we used to call "theory of mind".
>>98102305If you think anyone on 4chan is bringing up good faith to do anything other than arbitrarily exclude any counters than I don't know what to tell you. Yes, I recognize the irony.
>>98100061why do you keep replying to yourself?
>>98095899My group once spent 4 hours breaking into a house, which ended up including light pvp, multiple members taking damage from various things, panic rolls, etc. The door wasn't even locked.
>>98100061Splendid advice, Mystic Computer Eye!
>>98094856If killing the dragon was easy, someone would have done it centuries ago. Sounds like something we might consider dealing with once we hit epic.
>>98094856>Evil Black Mountain of Murder, Death, Plagues, and Cancer>lair of Murderdeathplague the Evil Cancer Dragon who's been terrorizing the kingdom for centuries>10 minute walk outside the citysorry GM but doesn't sound all too realistic for me, my immersion is ruined and I'd like to leave your game
>>98102828You're the only one in this thread who plays games
>>98094856>RPing shopping or basic bitch conversationswhy do people do this
>>98101966>No nigga, there's still roleplay, gameplay, and plot hooks to be had from just talking to people. There is in fact whole systems where combat is de-emphasized to such a degree that if you enter combat it means you probably fucked up.Yeah, and in those systems, you also don't faff around at Wal-Mart arguing with the cashier that he should charge you less.
>>98101966Actual fucking nogames holy shit
I had to deal with this faggot a month ago and I'm gonna shit myself if I don't rant about it.>DM>starting new session>"hey anon can I bring this friend who's a friend of a friend-">yeah sure>everyone makes their characters with little issue>notice new guy's bio is nonexistent>ask if he wanna add anything so we know what to expect from his character>he just shrugs>whatever>game starts, party meets, the usual>at one point they need to find clues in a room>new guy says he rolls perception to find the clue>crickets>are you going to describe what your character is doing?>"no, I'll just roll to find it.">let it slide figuring it would be a one-time thing>it wasn't>this guy does 0 roleplaying and the only things he says are either "I roll [skill]" or "I use [ability]">e.g. the party is on a social event and need to find information>people chat with the npcs and look around>he just says "I roll charisma to find out the information" and waits for the result>his PC has 0 character whatsoever>literally just a stat brick he throws at things>on the second session I'm really getting mad at this faggot so I figure enough is enough>during combat I ask him to describe how his character is going to attack the enemy>"I roll-">no, no. You need to describe it. How are you going to deal with this cultist?>he gets pissy and says his rolls allow him to kill the cultist>oh would you look at that, while you were standing still doing nothing the cultist slits your throat>ABLOO BLOO BLOO WHY DID I DIE???>the cultist critted, very unfortunate. And since you're in his god's domain you cannot be revived>politely but FIRMLY tell him maybe next time he should be a little more proactive>he grumbles and starts making a new character>party finishes the dungeon and heads to the next town so they can stumble upon the new character>he gives me his new sheet>same exact thing>empty bio>mfw it's John Brick 2>"disband" the TTRPG group and reform it without the new guy
>>98104277You're a good GM for doing this
What is a nogames?>>98104277this seems like the total opposite of a theater player, like the guy is a total npc
>>98105938Somebody who doesn't play games, or in other words everyone on /tg/
OP is angry because he couldn't murder-rape his buddies' party with his AIDS-dragon on-rails fetish.He call them "playoids" for not playing as he wanted.
>>98106103>OP is angry because he couldn't murder-rape his buddies' party with his AIDS-dragon on-rails fetish.That's the only way to play. Anything else is just theaterfaggotry
>>98101905should have just told him tofuck off, that's what you get for bowing to retarded demands
>>98095899This is a skill issue on the GM's part.Use abstraction to accelerate through the boring parts of the story.You don't need to exhaustively RP out every insignificant encounter.> GM: Proper preparation takes time. You can perform 2 preparatory actions per day.> GM: Once you've decided on what you are spending your time on, I'll ask you to make relevant rolls, then explain what you got for your efforts.> GM: Be aware, at the end of each day, the world state progresses. The longer you take to get ready the more the situation will change and complicate, as the plans and actions of NPCs both friendly and hostile will resolve in the background.
>>98094856People just put -oids on any word they want now, don't they.
>>98094856>Murderdeathplague the Evil Cancer Dragon who's been terrorizing the kingdom for centuries>it's lair is about a 10 minute walk outside the cityholy mother of shit worldbuilding
>>98097288Many gamers don't do that, they think the RPG should be like playing a computer game. They find the nameless figure stood by a stall, click on it pick what they want. The idea of actually engaging in conversation with the in world character is alien to them. They also tend to insist on fast travel, quest markers, short and long rests, no encumberance, sleep, hunger, thirst or fatigue. They are mindless morons trying to speed run everything they do.
>>98104277Gosh, this reminds me of a game, long, long ago, where one player, who had been an obnoxious twat through the entire character creation process, suddenly speaks up just as I'm about to start the first session. He says, "oh, by the way, I never speak in the first person and I never describe my actions. I will tell you want I want, and you will let me roll to get it."I guess he thought I was easy to push around or that I'd be too focused on getting the game started to contradict him, but I tossed him out then and there. Sadly, all the other players thought I got rid of him exclusively because he didn't want to speak in the first person, rather than because he was a huge cunt, so they all thought they had to toe the line on pain of banishment and got mad at me when I didn't speak in the first person 100% of the time. Sadly, by the time I realised this, it was too late to salvage the group, so now I always make sure everyone knows exactly why I kick people out.
>>98107925Chanoids tend to
>>98100061Good job finding yourself, retard.
