The goodly sorceress of the south requests your aid in overthrowing her arch-nemesis, the wicked Jolene, for taking away her man.
>the queen of country has fallen Don’t fucking do this to me
>>98567576I do the only sensible thing in this situation: I proceed to overthrow Jolene as fast as possible, and proceed to fuck her and fill her as I defeat her. Then I run back to the sorceress and inform her the enemy is defeated but her man was "killed" in the midst of the chaos, then demand her body too. I end up having both of them having my line of children and ruling both kingdoms.
>>98567576based anon i just saw your post on /tv/. why did she die she was so fucking hot
RIP>SorceressWhy not bard?
>>98567576yeeesh i'm sorry but jolene got that shit on lock
>>98567603>only bards can singGod I hate you people :)))
>>98567603A Siren would be a sorceress, not a bard.
>>98567620I just thought it would be more appropriate as singing was her career.>>98567627Good point.
>>98567583Fallen? Anon, she has ascended to her throne as the Goddess of Country. We can all agree, Dolly was quite divine. I know, as a good Christian she'd take offence, but I am sure Big G and Little J wouldn't mind her taking a seat beside them.
>>98567583Country sucks and Dolly was 90% plastic.
>>98567763Fuck you.
>>98567576I hated her music, but she was a hot bimbo and she was actually a legitimately good person.>Her parks have a near 100% employee satisfaction score with the Better Business Bureau>She donated 270 Million free books to children in under-serviced regions>Provided nearly a third of the funds for book-mobiles all across the southern US and did it all out of good will, making NO profit.
>>98568433She bought the band uniforms for like half of the high school marching bands in thr country.
Dolly Parton has done more for you than Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and Zuckerburg combined.Not only that, but she had big ol' fucking knockers, and she made them even bigger because she understood the aesthetic representation of femininity as a free commodity and a public service. She wanted to give you something good to look at not just because she would benefit from it, but because YOU would enjoy it. She was self aware of people's perception of this, and she used it to her advantage, and to everyone else's...
/this/ is how I find out. fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck 2026
>>98568461Fake tits are ugly.Keep them real.
>>98568433>The alluring sorceress turns out to be a genuinely good person.Does any module pull off this subversion well?
>>98569119No tits are immune to the grope of time... (I do enjoy a good pair of healthy saggers, though.)
>>98567603because bard doesn't capture the same narrative as sorceress or enchantress would, OP isn't specifically saying "The goodly Sorceress(5e class) of the south"
>>98569171I remember an old module in D&D features a tower owned by a sorceress. At the beginning of the adventure, it's hinted that the tower is owned by an evil, old, malevolent witch. When the players get to the top of the tower they find that she's accidentally put herself under a sleeping spell, and that she's actually a kindly woman who didn't mean to cause any trouble by leaving the dungeon full of monsters unattended.I can't remember what it's called, but I think it's "[Witch Name]'s Tower". I remember reading through it and thinking it would be funny to run an adventure where the players are certain they're about to get in a big boss battle, only to find it's a completely different challenge to dispell a permanent sleep enchantment.
>>98569205That actually sounds like a great twist. The sleeping beauty theme also fits well with the (myth?) thing about Dolly sleeping with make up on.
This is what Dolly looked like in 1973 when she wrote Jolene. Just what kind of a goddamn succubus was Jolene to compete?
>>98567763You're lucky people can't break your neck through a computer screen. She was a rare good woman in an age of e-hoes.
>>98569205Have you found out what its name is? I'd love to check it out.
>>98567576You seek the brawler Loretta. She once bragged of taking her rival to the City of Fists.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgylOni0JSI
>>98569758I think if we saw them in their prime side to side, we'd probably think Dolly had nothing to worry about.Maybe her face was a bit prettier, nicer hair.Boobs probably smaller, but maybe still big enough that she wouldn't feel mogged.Height could be a dumb difference that would make Dolly insecure too. Like the bank clerk was tall in a short skirt that showed her legs, and she was competently charming.
>>98567576does your setting have vaccines, anons?and possible villains using them for nefarious goals?
>>98569758Her man obviously had an extreme fetish for redheads.
>>98567576What's her man got to do with me? I'm not trying to hear that, see?
>>98569758>Retarded shallow incel thinks relationships are only about looks and everyone is as shallow as he is.
>>98570278The song mainly describes what Jolene looks like, and not her other good qualities.
>>98570289Because that's what Dolly was focused on. Doesn't mean that's what Dolly's man was focused on. Men cheat on their girlfriend/wife with women who are technically "uglier" all the time and it's usually because the "uglier" woman is giving the man something he feels his girlfriend/wife isn't giving him.
>>98567576Homestly she and her costumes really make her a good inspiration for fantasy characters.
>>98569758It's this one I think? Not a succubus though.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8fXWDRqRbw
>>98567576>Evil sorceress>>98568461>Evil Queen>>98569758>Farmer or Bar Maid>>98570341>Faun or Chaos Goddess>
>>98569758Dolly had a very poor self-image of herself. Her husband never stayed because he wasn't retarded.
The Ice Queen
The Fighter
The Good Witch
The Fairy Goodmother
The Flower Fae
>>98567576>The goodly sorceress of the southPic related is how she would look like!
>>98570443I wish I could've seen her meatier.
>>98569998I did a cursory look through Dungeon Magazine, because I thought it was from there. But I didn't see it.I want to say that wherever I saw it, it was part of a adventure anthology collection, (Because I think it was shorter.) And it definitely wasn't for 5e, because I don't even entertain the idea of reading anything for that system. So it had to be 3.5 or older... I'll give it another look through my shit later, and see if I can find it.
My mom and her siblings all pick on my uncle because they'd break into the bathroom to find him fapping to pictures of Dolly Parton.
>>98567576what are her resists?
>>98569903I'd kill you in one punch kek
>>98569903>namefag
>>98567763>trying too hard: edgepost edition
>>98567576>gee dolly, why does your DM let you have two magic missiles?
>>98569758The song was an in-joke between her and her husband, iirc. Jolene was, in reality, like a bank teller who would constantly hit on her husband and they would always laugh about it.
>>98568461Reddit is ----> way bro
>>98567576IMAGINE fucking prime 80s Dolly
>>98569047It gets worse. Tim Curry just died. Jesus this has been a rough month.
>>98571315Well... I guess he finally got to the one place not yet corrupted by capitalism in the end.
>>98571238I think I'll stay, cocksucking faggot.
>>98567576Hey, I remember that one, it was great premise
Someone else died, switch the thread topic.
>>98570991OPPAI MISSILES!!!
I miss her already bros
>>98570341That rabbit-man is a bit chilling.
>>98567763>Dolly was 90% plastic.you seem to be mixing up Dolly Parton and Dolly Buster
>>98570825But country does suck.
>>98567763>Country sucksCorrect (derogatory)>Dolly was 90% plasticCorrect (affectionate)
98567763go be a contrarian faggot somewhere else
>>98578459Contrarian board.
>>98571798It happened again.
>>98571798Nah, just make a new thread.
>>98578465no it's not
>>98567763you can fuck off sir
;_;7
>>98567763So is your mom. GenX has entered the chat.
>>98571358When you sign your posts it goes on the next line, Cocksucking Faggot.
>>98569187This is why, for me, flat will always be justice.
