So you've forge the legendary object of power that will allow you to reign supreme, or perhaps end the evil reign of the evil tyrannical God-King. But then a legendary thief stole the amulet while you slept, or the crown slipped from your head, or the weapon was disarmed leaving you vulnerable, or you strode out on the battlefield & your finger got cut off & the ring with it...Lets talk about how to hold on to the magic power item in a smart way. The object can be an shape but needs to be of smallish size & made of any reasonable medieval/widely accepted fantasy material (like mithral)You cant swallow it, you cant shove it up your ass, you cant let anyone else know about it, how do you secure it to your body, & also never loose it to circumstance, theft, or amputation of extremities?No D&D specific answers.
Put it inside your torso. Not in the digestive tract where it could be fished or flushed out, but pretty much anywhere else will do.
It's a suit of armor I'm sealed in, no locks or buckles. But it's fine, it keeps me fresh, is temperated and protects me from drowning, suffocation or other environmental hazards.
>>98609380>you cant shove it up your ass,But can you tell people you shoved it up your ass so they can all gander at your other ring of power?
>>98609380Institutionalize. A great evil must sleep. a dark lord and their dragon can sleep in shifts. once you have four henchmen you can set them up for five day weeks with overlapping shifts, and eight gives you redundancy and sick days. a handful of managerial overlords can be put in place to systematize the guard shifts, and a compliance department can be formed to ensure systems fail safely and have redundant backups. add a HR department to manage hiring shifts and pensions, start a finance division and a call center, and you're basically fully staffed as a feudal lord. now you can just sit back and administer for the rest of eternity with the only threat to your power being a total societal collapse
>>98609424Maybe anchor it/fuse it to the bone?>>98609438Not smallish
>>98609380A permanent belly piercing solves those particular issues.
>>98609871Could potentially be ripped off/sliced
Just kill everyone else. No can steal it when no one is around.
>>98609438>literally drowning in your own shit by the end of the month
>>98609380Soulbind the item.
>>98609380Have it forged welded around my neck, then have a custom made steel gorget made to cover it 24/7. Then spread rumors about how my power comes from a honeypot type object. Spread different rumors to different people and have spies attached to them to weed out traitors. Wear a magic looking crown, bracelet, rings, and necklace.
>>98609380Put it orbit.
>>98612018Needs to be one you/touching you to empower you, like any magic sword or ring or amulet
>>98610998But it does protect him from drowning, so that's his existence now. Anon the Turd Knight
>>98609380No, you can swallow it just fine, actually.
>>98610998I guess you didn't read "keeps me fresh"? Are you illiterate?
>>98612112Its too big & assumes magic that might not exist in a setting
>>98612352No it doesn't.
Cut hole in head. Remove bit of skull.Put ring in hole.Put metal plate over hole.
>>98612373Are you fucking illiterate?
>>98612475Yes.
>>98609667Evil.Give the people bread and circus to stave off collapse
>>98609667What if youre a good guy?
>>98612475Are you?
>>98612692No. Thats why i know you are. Armor isnt "smallish". And unbreakable self cleaning magic armor isnt setting agnostic & relies on specific magic existing
>>98612733Who said it has to be setting agnostic? Are you schizophrenic as well as illiterate and ugly?
>>98612733Well?
>>98612595Do the same thing but don't call them henchmen
>>98612733There's a game/setting with feces-be-gone magic?
>>98614396probably Shitter of the Dung Lord
Can I break it up into smaller pieces and have each piece embedded beneath my skin in different locations on my body?
>>98614396Diapers of Holding that get regularly emptied into the plane of elemental dung.
>>98609667Nigga you just made fantasy EvilCorp
>>98609667>add a HR departmentyou've just crossed the line from evil to despicable
>>98614409Makes enough sense without breaking the rules too much>>98614396Prestigitation, from D&D, not to many other games have cleaning magic like that. Im sure someone could dig something up for different gamelines, but its just not in a lot of other stuff>>98612747Read the OP
>>98612018>not making the orbit your ring of power>(no, not a Halo type ringworld structure, the actual orbit)
>>98614396DnD Prestidigitation explicitly lets your shit or unshit a garment.How would he be casting it in full body armor is another question entirely...
Option a) Metal choker. If it is an amulet of some kind, or a gemstone, it can be encased in metal in such a way that you couldn't lever it out of its socket. Minimal intrusion on my life, the only way to reasonable get it off is to capture me and then use a smithy to cut it off, or to behead me. All of which are solutions excessive enough that I'm basically defeated by the time it's relevant.Downside: I now look like a cringe 00s BDSM novice who's "collared". But that's how evil works, it promises you great power but in the end it takes something more precious from you; your dignity.Option b) pic rel
>>98615470Not D&D doesn't mean agnostic. It means not D&D. Dumbfuck.
>>98616023I feel like you are entirely too hostile, for someone who has already been proven to be illiterate, & you quibbling over this is done in bad faith. A suit of armor is not smallish no matter what other aspects of your post you might want to argue.
>>98616023Okay, so since it isn't D&D, which specific system is the topic attributed to?
>>98616222How fucking fat do you have to be to consider armor to be smallish?
>>98609380Wooden eye.Peg leg.
>>98616232Keep being illiterate, LOL
>>98616325Doesn't mean agnostic.
>>98609380dental implants
>>98616681This one might work but it loses style points no self respecting legend is about a magic tooth filling
>>98616610Yeah, since it's not agnostic, there must be a specific system. Which system is it?
Subdermal implant.Also, I'd grow tired of being a dark lord and sitting on a throne being an evil cock in the spotlight all day. Nah, best option is to install a constitutional monarchy with parliamentary elections tempered by a senate of nobles that I hand pick.I have cronies manage my personal estate as a series of corporations and rig the emerging capitalist economy in my favor through ownership of key resources in all layers of economic activity. However since the general economic outlook is compound growth and my exact ownership stakes are impossible to discern, the people are generally happy. I keep them occupied with large entertainment enterprises that I own large stakes in, and the different media outlets I partially own keep them thinking they make meaningful choices over hot political debates while agreeing on the basic premise that the economic system supports their own wealth. I make sure to occasionally bring down any emerging economic powers through mergers, acquisitions, assassinations and opinion manipulation.This all results in me being largely unknown to the general population, but also rich and able to control to some extent the circumstances in which I operate. And rather than being the obvious target, I become simply the winning player in a generally accepted game.
>>98614396Harry Potter.
>>98612112Shit can be fresh
Alright a lot of people have decided on implant of one fashion or another, & one retard has chosen to stew in his own shit i guess...Now what kind of implant is the coolest?
>>98609380I physically implant it into my head/brain. It would look like a piece of jewerly and I create a secret campaign to make such jewerly popular among the masses so mine would just look particularly ornate on account of being the creator/trend setter
>>98623958Rods in penis to make it permanently erect.
>>98609380My loyal dark elf wife who would definitely never betray me to the forces of good because I neglected it abused her will insert it whenever I'm not using her, that should do the trick.I'll keep her safely locked up in a hidden chamber at the bottom of the dungeon, one which can only be detected and opened by a magic item key which I'll keep safe at the top of my lower leveled but still formidable guard tower one questing area over from the region the dungeon is in. It's perfect, the heroes will never have a chance. It will also be my philactery btw...>>98610970This Lord knows ball.
>>98609380Nipple piercing.
>>98624102What if someone cuts off your head?
>>98625023If someone managed to cut off your head you are presumably already screwed.
Gold tooth and wear those boxer mouth guards and a helmet/thread
>>98612062fucking lmao
>>98625030How are you gonna live life muttering around a mouth guard AND a helmet?
>>98625084Even Sauron had a "Mouth"We have help for that, talking is for poor people
>>98625127I mean,as much as the enchanted tooth is smart, wouldnt a tongue piercing be just as useful & not require the mouthguard & helmet? Or just install it in the skull bone like others said?
>>98625028True. Not going to stop me from using that for the backstory of an irate Demilich.
>>98625163A piercing is a pretty clear unnatural thing that stands out and would be uncomfortable, installing it in the skull bone would be too hard for medicine and iffy with magic probably. A replaced tooth is something that isn't ultra hard to replace and people aren't going to question it if you are wealthy.
>>98625171Dentistry was actually pretty horrific until recently, meanwhile putting a screw in to bone isnt that hard medically
>>98609380I can't help but think that Sauron already had the best solution. Make your object of power promise to allow whoever wields it to achieve their dreams.The overlap between people with the resolve and capability to actually physically destroy it, and people with the humility and lack of ambition to resist its pull, would be incredibly tiny.Because he's immortal, it'll eventually find its way back into his hands. He just has to be patient.
>>98630266A campaign doesnt ordinarily have millenia of time passing in which to patiently await its return.
>>98621056>Man is just walking around in a shiny suit of plate mail, streaked in foul brown.>Every movement, a little bit more fresh shit fountains from his visor, one of the few places the perpetually fresh, stinking mixture is able to escape.>He is yet unable to die.Using this cursed NPC in my next game. If only anon was a tripfag.
>>98629243>Dentistry was actually pretty horrific until recentlyI am aware of this still, transmuting your tooth to gold or whatever is probably way fucking easier than anything you are suggesting as well
>>98609380A ring is probably the best way to do it. Just wear it beneath the gauntlet
Just wear a piece of jewelry, but don't be such a dick that armies want to deprive you of its power
>>98609667I like the idea that the hero party gets beaten into retreat, comes back a few days later and is all confused because there is a different dark lord now, who is like>Oh, you mean Horvath, Augur of the Bloodfield? He only works on Tuesdays. and consequently giving up a upon learning there are like eight of them and a compliance department full of demon generals, and the real dark lord only comes in once a year for the big meeting if at all.
>>98609380Make it a torc. If your fucking head gets cut off, you were probably going to be inconvenienced long enough for someone to steal your macguffin wherever you crammed it.Otherwise you gotta trust Orc MD to do some sort of surgery and slip a magic ring around a floating rib.
