youre 40 and still bitching about your parents? hate to say it, but your parents arent the issue here, it's you.

sack them and dont look back. it doesnt matter what they say or do. just leave.

>>2890510
Before asking for suggestions, tell /trv/ about your:
>Budget
>Interests
>Level of understanding of the local language(s)
This makes it easier to give quality advice. Of course, keep your posts travel related.

>>2890510
Ya it’s quite the mental hold. Legit nod dad and bpd mom. I’m so use to that I can’t move on
Wish it felt that easy
>>2890513
All I get is 1400$ neet bucks because I got sick injured and went nuts .

Interests . Hard say I had so many dreams as a kid. Safari , see unique nature, try different martial arts , camping, partying in the city , cute girls . Literally typical of anyone
https://youtu.be/tVwZKEaH4DA

Know some Spanish and French and German is rusty

>>2890512
I'm 29 and still stuck at home. Jesus christ I'm actually fucking going insane. It's actually a lot harder to get out of the rut when your parents fucked you up on a subconscious level to control you and provided 0 support that practically everyone else got over their life.

>>2890514
You need more money. Fix that first. Or try to get an english teaching job in Thailand or some shit where they'll take anyone with a pulse. You can do all of the things you are interested in over there
>>2890517
work towards being in a position where you can drop them. they only have you by the balls if you let them

>>2890518
I'm finishing my degree and got about 10 months of working internships left before graduation. I live in an overpriced shithole of a city, so the very moment I graduate I'm completely cutting family off.

>>2890517
Fucking true . You get a phd in dealing with their bullshit and wonder why we haven’t punched them yet and smashed the house phones .
Really dulls your mind, motivation and social skills . Longer you’re in it, it’s like what’s the point because so much time is gone to catch up. Your friends learned to fly and you just learn to dig and too fucking burnt out to fly after digging yourself out
>>2890518
Always wanted todo esl teaching. But how does one go about starting. Or making money, do you guys work online . Been out of a job since Covid.
>>2890520
Nice wish that worked out for me at 18. Twice crashed out of uni. Thinking of trying again for a third time. But dam so burnt out the head .

>>2890521
>Always wanted todo esl teaching. But how does one go about starting. Or making money, do you guys work online . Been out of a job since Covid.
Hit up the agencies in a country you're interested in and then they will want to do skype calls with you. But what I did for money was work at mcdick's, living away from family with roommates in the city, and then leave after I had enough saved. I noped the fuck out from my family once my parents started doing drugs and didn't look back since. It worked out in the end

>>2890527
Fuck wish I did the same . I just worked and they took my money for bills. It’s super expensive in my city . Like 2000$ a month for single bedroom if you’re lucky.

>>2890510
>How did you guys start?
When I was 17 my great-uncle gave me $20k for getting into med school. He meant for it to help with living costs but since I qualified for a bunch of scholarships I figured I could get away with deferring for a year and going travelling. Flew to London, backpacked across Europe, India and Nepal the SE Asia. Had a great time. Been travelling regularly since.

>>2890553
Wow and you did it on a fucking whim? Just book flight hotels and not know the language and just went ?
But Europe and east Asia feel like good first countries to do.
But India dam

>>2890517
>>2890521
These
It's frustrating looking back on the lost potential and missed opportunities because of maniacs or incompetents. Parents who needed to get their shit together but just never did. Or were explicitly malicious and did things with the intent of fucking your shit up.
All you can do though is pick up your pieces and keep going.
Do what you can with what you have.

i went to japan alone when i was 19 because my friends didn't want to go/didn't have money.
did 3 weeks, the jr pass, stayed in cheap hostels.
i was socially anxious and it was my first time traveling alone, i was actually anxious to go to a restaurant alone, so i fasted a long time and walked a ton.
it was august/september and the weather was unbearable, i caught a cold cycling in the rain, and on the flight back i had urticaria that didn't go away for months, probably some allergy i was never able to identify.

i lost a lot of weight, and it changed me quite a bit.

>>2890556
My mum spent a year backpacking when she was younger so I grew up hearing tales of what she got up to. It was always something I wanted to do.

>>2890538
I booked the intercontinental flights (Sydney-London, Athens-Delhi, Bombay-Bangkok, etc) and that was basically it. Hotels were generally booked a day or two before I arrived or I'd just wander around knocking on doors until I found somewhere with a decent rate.

I was easing myself into it starting in the UK because I have family there I could stay with while I earned some more money.
Europe was also pretty easy to travel around without needing to know what you're doing or speak anything but English (and this was before Google translate), like, at one point I was feeling a bit depressed because my gf had flown home the day before so I chose my next country based purely on where the next bus was going.
India was some fucking culture shock after that but I still got away without much advance planning beyond general destinations. I spent a lot of overnight bus journeys reading Lonely Planet guides for wherever I was headed next, trying to memorise how to get from the bus station to the tourist drag or whatever.
SE Asia probably would've been a big shock after Europe but not after India. Bangkok is high energy but way better tourist infrastructure, maybe even an easier first destination than most of Europe because prices are lower.

>22 years old
>Finally snap from a life I didn't want to lead, backpack Europe on a shoestring
>Become drastically aware of how controlling my parents were
>Keep them at arms length every since
I'm 35 now and very independent, they are retired now and have had chance to reflect. Dad is obviously in regret but we have only had a surface level relationship and never really spoken about anything.

Taking responsibility for your shitty relationship is one thing, but owning it and growing from it is the next step. Something I still haven't quite managed.

>>2890704
You are still mad at your parents for parenting you. Time to apologize

>>2890517
>provided zero support
>let you live without rent for 11 years
That's like $100,000 worth of support right there kekek

>>2890710
Yeah but they cut off any chance of making money or a successful career. The "rent" support is to keep you trapped is all no actual altruism. For me, I'm finishing a degree at 29 which is something I would've done by 22 if my parents helped me after high school. Which they didn't at all. I ended up struggling to get a job anywhere, suffered from mental health episodes and just got locked up for suicide attempts in which they told me to "do it right next time". Meanwhile people who actually got support are working senior positions by my age. Some of the department managers and senior engineers at the place I'm at are only 2-3 years older than me ffs.

>>2890706
I know they were doing it through love, albeit doing a terrible job...and I blame culture for that mainly.

Maybe one day well have the chance to talk about it. Maybe then I can start to trust myself.

>>2890510
It’s too late to have the life you should have had, it’s never too late to take what’s left

>>2890720
Independent people postpone college all the time and finish degrees around age 30. My sister still hasn't finished her studies and she is now 31 years old (she's a childless career roastie who used to date black men BTW).

You're clearly exerting a tiny fraction of the effort that such people exert to get where they are, going nonstop from 6:30 AM to 8:30 PM six days a week pursuing both work and personal goals.
>>2890704
It's really strange how controlling parents completely disengage from your life as soon as they lose their control. They go from lording it over you to not giving a hoot seemingly overnight. The only attachment they had to you was the satisfaction that came from being obeyed.
>>2890723
Or maybe you will go out and fuck it all up. Mentally incapable people self-destruct all the time with zero thought of the future; that's why they are chronically homeless. And somehow they never see a connection between their self-destructive behavior and the misery they are experiencing.

>>2890729
Yeah okay. But the majority of my cohort started uni and graduated about 2018-2020 range. At no point have I never not been trying, and I've had to work 60-70 hours a week doing labour starting at 4AM for years so don't give me shit about being lazy. Getting an office job doesn't even feel like doing work it's such a fucking joke. Even a minor helping hand, not financially, just basic emotional support for me would've corrected my life track. Instead I got abject neglect and parents that are suddenly interested any time I'm making life progress to sabotage me and mentally fuck with me. I've learned long ago not to say anything to my parents about how life's going esp. my mother because she plays head games.

>>2890729
I'm def not hopeless. I'm a fully qualified electrician that has been grinding mine work for 3 years now. The mortgage comfy rural house is already half paid off. Not sure how much more of this I can take until I go walkabout again.

I was referring to my life where every single decision is made for you, and all of a sudden you are in charge. Is it a lack of self trust or is it self love as a result? Perhaps both, but it sure is hard to break out of a mindset that was more than half your life.

Btw my parents did care when I left,l and still care now, it's all they've ever done. But too much of a good thing can still be toxic.

>>2890733
>>2890729
Quit blaming your parents for all your problems then your life will get better

>>2890752
We would if we can punch them without jail . But they don’t behave until you come home drunk and threaten to fuck them in the ass and burn the house down is when they finally behave. Insane people run on fear. Not guilt or shame . So that’s what they fucking need

>>2890510
do what ever you can to distance yourself from your parents, even if you have to silent treatment locally, if what you say is true, communicating with them won't work. I learnt this the hard way. I tried communicating with my boomer father about how the world has changed weekly for 10 years and he still doesn't get it so I just stopped talking to him.

>>2890810
Yup dad treats it like the good ol days. Literally stunts you from being independent but will kick you out when life is harder then ever and will laugh at you for doing worse then them

>>2890810
>>2890815
Sounds like you did you parents a favor

>>2890752
They plant the seeds when you're young, all the shit they put in your brain as a toddler when you have no defense leads to a lifetime of self-sabotage, analysis paralysis, escapist daydreaming, and anxiety. Took me a long time to realize a lot of mental issues I have stem from my parents screaming at me any time I tried to do something or being gaslit that any time I try I'd not only fail but others will bully me for it. Also took time to realize what my parents were doing, in fact, if my mother didn't go full mask off on me when I tried to move out during covid, which involved 100s of messages telling me I'm a failure, I should kill myself, never do anything etc, I never would've realized it. Narcissistic abuse should genuinely be taught in public schools but they never teach anything useful. Would've been good to know when I was a teen so I could've cut the damage early.

>>2890817
How so ?>>2890819
Fuck bro I felt this

Jannies need to clean this shit up
Gayest post I've seen in a decade
I'm hoping so much that it's a larp because if it's real you need to rope yourself op

>>2890821
Telling you parents you are a failure because of some made up excuses of life before you were born is something they dont want to hear even once and you did it over and over

>>2890815
>Yup dad treats it like the good ol days. Literally stunts you from being independent but will kick you out when life is harder then ever and will laugh at you for doing worse then them
Fuuuck. My dad did very similar and would mock me as well. Also asked me why I wasn't married yet (at the time I just barely finished my bachelor's degree at age 30 and fresh out of being homeless to save money)
Was so late getting into school since I was homeless before then too and don't know what to do about anything nor how to progress in the world. Had to spend so much time figuring that shit out.

>>2890819
That one hit awfully close to home as well.

>>2890833
Thats terrible you had a father who tried to help you

>>2890837
You want to explain how he tried to help? I don't see it. I just see criticizing and a total cluelessness about the situation.

People like OP make mountains out of molehills. They should try facing real challenges, like riding an overcrowded bus in India in 39 C heat with passengers arguing over space, to realize that their petty complaints are a splash of piss in the ocean misery that is existence on Earth.

>>2890850
Yeah there's nothing like travel to India, or Cambodia or even Mexico or Bulgaria to realize what crying little bitches these creeps are in this thread, literally crying about made up non problems and fantasies how they deserve an easy life because a boomer supposedly got a free house and gf from working 2 days at McDonald's

>>2890862
What if their parents are from these shitholes and gave them a hard time and they are the type to never assimilate to that country
Easy for you to say

>>2890911
Listen to your parents and appreciate when they give you advice. No one but your parents gives a shit if you live or die

>>2890929
I'm starting to think you're some boomer whose kids estranged you for being an ass and you pretend as if you don't know why or that they didn't explain it to you 100 times in a row.

No that is terrible advice. A lot of people shouldn't have kids. A lot of them have a parasitic relationship on their kids where the kids are built to serve and supply their parents through finances, emotional energy, labour etc. The idea that family is somehow unbreakable is why I've received way more abuse from relatives than friends or strangers over my life.

>>2890937
You are so much smarter than mommy and daddy that you need to lecture them 100 times as to why you are a loser and then come here bragging that you dont speak to them anymore. Maybe get over the fact they wouldn't buy you a house or pony and instead gave good advice you are too lazy to take.

>>2890945
LOL sorry your kids don't speak to you.