project discussions continued from >>4446790

I got an idea a few days ago about a princess x pirate story.

Shes like the captains daughter or something and wants to prove herself but she's kinda clumsy and a bit of a failure.

The pirate crew has a plan to kidnap the king. Pirate girl is left out of the plans because she's such a fuckup and this pisses her off. So on the night of the kidnapping (probably a big royal ball or something), she sneaks in to try and be part of it.

She ends up fucking it all up and they end up having to settle for kidnapping the princess instead. Because priate girl fucked up the plan, they make her watch the princess. Making sure she doesnt try to escape, as well as feeding her and stuff.

The princess though is difficult to deal with. Like an oujo-sama with a dangerous temper. She is fucking PISSED and wants to make pirate girls life hell.

I don't have much more beyond that right now, but of course they'll eventually fall in love.

> "write what you know"
>desnt know shit
what do?

>>4557092
Write what you like but make research or something. Just enough to not outrage people who actually know stuff.
On the side note, if I wrote what I know, most likely it would be boring shit anyway.

>>4556747
Sounds like a fun idea sis

>>4556747
Not exactly the same setup but it reminds me of this https://dynasty-scans.com/series/love_flag_girls

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>>4557092
just write what interests you and let your characters explore ideas around your interest. Have a theme the helps guide you where your characters actions will inevitably go to. Also predictability is the number one killer in writing so make things interesting

>>4557229
>just write what interests you
Dominance and submission

>>4557233
That's a big spectrum. But what part about it? Is it strong? Harsh? Or gentle? Does it have aftercare? Do they talk before the session? Do they just meet and do the deed or did they grow into it? Who is the one that initiates? Are there any fears to overcome? How resistant or whiny is the sub? How experienced or naive is the dom? Do they switch? There is a lot more open questions you can tell in your story.

>>4557093
what if you just wanna write a relationship between two schoolgirls in regular world setting? like shuukura or adashima.
how they do their research? how'd anyone just come up with that?
do they simulate every events, interactions, every single causes and effects? then pick the most interesting storyline to be presented to readers

>>4557449
>how they do their research? how'd anyone just come up with that?
I attended a Japanese all-girl school.

I've always wanted to write a real story around my numerous ryona fetish fantasies but it's proving harder than expected. I have the core of the relationship down to "toxic dependent age-gap coworkers", an ambitious older woman and a depressed immortal younger girl. Why is she immortal? Well her life is so shit that I needed a reason for her to survive killing herself. She has regeneration powers, but can be taken out of action for a period of time, even days, depending on how she died.
Having an immortal character means other equally powerful ability users need to exist in the world. Consequently, there's got to be some shady government-backed organization keeping tabs on them. That already sounds cliche as fuck. Now I don't care what they're fighting for/against, what other characters are doing, or what their society is like, but literally every story needs those things to be fleshed out in order for it to make any semblance of sense. It's just so mind-numbingly boring to write about things other than the fetish shit, think how to make it unique, and it kills all my enthusiasm.

>>4557473
Reminds me a bit of the plot of Mnemosyne, where the immortal MC got sucked up by a jet engine and was out of action for a couple months while she regenerated. On a side note, I would not recommend that show to anyone.

>>4557473
That's funny. I have almost the same concept, minus the want to die but rather it's an inevitability she dies after a period of time but gets resurrected fast (which is always after 20 min on both accidental death or after the timer is up). There is also the whole sub-plot of an accidental summoned copy of herself killing her in different ways for testing purposes (which is supposed to be important later) but t's semi-incest but not with the copy but in the long run they are? It's complicated. Also Age-gap. But it's funny we share almost the same idea, concept-sis. I like your brain.

>>4557475
Funny you mention it. That anime was pretty eye-opening for me, though I can't tell you a single thing about the plot with certainty. I think they were investigators and some crazy vampire bitch went after the MC because of her immortality. Might read the source material to see if I can plagiarize something.
>>4557480
The death timer sounds very interesting especially in a mystery type of story, you can mess around with memory and perception, like in Higurashi. Cool idea.
I'd probably have a period of time (adjustable for plot) prior to the death where she can't remember what happened at all, so when she wakes up next she has no idea where she is or why she died and has to figure it out.

>>4557487
That's the spirit. Now get your noggin runnin' and your hands workin'. Every little bit counts.

>>4556714
Source on pic?

>>4557525
Ayame 14

>>4556714
Why'd you mess up the OP so much?

An old idea I had was a slice of life that focused on a succubi school

Human men were being warned now that succubi existed, and serious countermeasures were getting taken to prevent the death of the male sex

So the school started training for girls, except since most girls aren't dtf immediately, they went "well shit" and kidnapped just one girl (self insert) to help train everyone

It's mostly just a harem. I'm honestly thinking of asexual rep somewhere in there, or just making a bit of wholesome out of something that initially sounds very not.

So, thoughts? Maybe I'll pick it up and try drawing something for it

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>>4559357
I'm no fan of harem, more leaning towards succubus correction.

https://exhentai.org/g/3022991/e344a7777e/

>>4559357
an asexual succubus is like a vegan cat

>>4559675
maybe she feeds on admiration and headpats instead of plain sexual energy

Pokemon yuri romhack. Premise was you play as oujo-sama or Lady class as the west calls it. Mostly to do with my love of petplay and seeing that scene in the Lets Go games where Green tries to make the Femc her pokemon. You go around collecting girls as your pokemon to build your yuri harem. Actually not really NSFW as wanted to focus on the emotional bonds of you and your girls like how the normal series tries to do with pokemon. Everyone else uses normal pokemon, you just use girls.

I remember some anon was making yuri playing cards or was it tarot cards? Does anyone have those? If not I was thinking of some concept for playing cards

>>4560756
They're not finished, check back next year.

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We posted about this a year ago, but we've been working on a nsfw yuri VN about an exhibitionist couple and just got listed on Steam.

It's about a shy and lonely university student who discovers that her seemingly perfect crush is an exhibitionist who's into doing it in public without being caught. She has to push past her fear of getting caught to study the ways of lesbian exhibitionism and win the heart of her crush.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/4724580/Exhibition_of_the_Heart/

Here's some free keys for when we release in October. First come first served.

Y080L-M0DYH-AAE2T
CCKZR-E34X6-NBNNG
7WDVN-YCR0A-DVP8V

Thanks sisters have a nice day.

>>4561951
Are you planing to maybe, possibly, eventually make it censored and offer a free 'DLC' on your page so it passes the no-lewd censorship law? Not begging for a key just offering a suggestions for stupid laws. I am currently crying in region lock.

>>4561951
Good luck with your release anons!

>>4562141
Thanks sister!

>>4562140
Honestly, we weren't even thinking about places with censorship laws. We were just worried about getting it on Steam at all.
Valve has been cracking down on stuff like adult patches so that isn't something we're planning.
Sorry if you can't buy it in your region.
If you're region locked then we won't hold it against you if you just pirate it.

>>4561951
Thanks anon I will make sure to review the game

I have a pretty nice bit from like a decade ago, but if I post it today under the current cultural climate I think It'd be easily misunderstood.

>>4561951
Thanks for sharing! There is way too little nsfw yuri let alone exhibition focused ones.

>>4562215
Who cares what people think, you're already posting on a website most civilized people would consider 'problematic'.
If it fits the thread, might as well share it for those people who do enjoy it.

>>4561951
I'm impressed that you managed to get it on Steam.

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In case anyone missed it at the end of last thread, my new VN has been released recently (about a month ago).

https://spcyaya.itch.io/wildroses

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Not my project but an online friend's. She's been trying to write this for years. It's toxic fujo yuri which she's very good at. Here's the cover and she says the chapter will drop on June 25th

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>>4562532
And a rough bio on each of the couples

>>4562532
Slay

I can already feel the tension between her couples

>>4562303
steam is chock full of anime porn in all forms, the few that get rejected just had bad luck and got an especially prudish reviewer

>>4562615
She really likes toxic yuri. She goes by niromeva on tumblr if you wanna see more of her art

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>>4562712
The craving for more wholesome is immeasurable at this point but to each their own. Tell your online friend that one is cute.

>>4562714
Tbf, she's been writing this type of thing before the toxic yuri craze took off. I think she just likes it when homosexuals are weird to each other

>>4562714
Good news for you: "omg I love the feedback HAHA and yeah 3/4 of the main couples will definitely /not/ be wholesome :') but the 4th will"
So congrats on getting somekind of wholesome

>>4562803
Sweet, hopefully it's the one with the child. Girls can be weird to each other but add a child in the mix and they should have their stuff together.

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I’m currently making a deck-builder RPG game in Godot, and I’m curious what people think about anthro/furry × human yuri. So far, I don’t know any games that have it, and I don’t think there’s that much manga about it either. Why is one of the characters a furry? Because I’ve never drawn one before, and I think a human × non-human relationship can be interesting for the story in my game. Picrel is the characters. I haven’t finished designing the human yet. It’s an ex-knight-turned-mercenary × princess

>>4563302
Furry isn't everyone's cup of tea but I think the crowd that likes it really love it, so good for you for trying to fill that niche.I think you have a better chance to succeed that way. As for your art, it is nice enough, definitely not a bottleneck. Good luck on the story and everything else.

>>4563303
Thank you! I’m pretty much already done with the core combat mechanics. What’s left on the technical side are some minor and boring things.So yeah, I’m focusing on the art side atm.

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>>4563302
Depends on the style of furry
Furry-lite like pic, fuck yes, but full on animal head on human body is too much. I think cartoony furry like pic is ok too

>>4563320
Cartoony furry like your pic*

>>4563320
Quite interestingly, when I was doing some research, I found out furry art is a spectrum, from literally an animal to almost fully human. And yeah, I think I’ll stick with mine, but I’m pretty sure some adjustments or changes will happen later during development

>>4563337
Yeah and honestly you don't have to worry about not finding an audience with furry
There are fans for literally everything on the furry spectrum, if anything it being humanxfurry might give real furfags the ick

>>4563302
>Khajiit has wares, if you have coin
As a tiger will she chuff?

Not sure if this is the right place for /r/equests. Anyway does such thing as age gap selfcest even exist, outside of oneshot doujins? I don't know if I somehow found untapped niche, or the idea itself is just terrible.

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>>4564808
Well yes this is probably the wrong thread as this is for projects people are working on.

There is at least this one old H hentai that had that.
First part had a girl who got some 'help' masturbating for the first time by a younger version of herself.
The second part had her being seduced into having sex with an older version of herself

>>4564946
>who got some 'help' masturbating for the first time by a younger version of herself
>younger version of herself
It's like she got into some wormhole parallel universe of herself that forgot how to masturbate. And the younger one had to remind her how to do it so she could do it to her later on the line. And that's when she ended up with amnesia. The cycle repeats on this certain spot in the timeline continuously for all eternity until she had sex with her younger self.

>part 3?
>Gilf-cest

>>4564946
Apologies. I don't know why I forgot to mention this, but I want to make a VN around that theme.
I was asking about longer running series, just to see how others have approached the selfcest. Characters (or just a single one?) developing. Self-reflection. The ego and it's own. Topics like these

>>4564951
Well the actual 'plot' is as follows,
spoilers part one and two:

First part is about how she should except her own sexual feelings and not push everyoneon away. This is why her younger self appears and more or less mind controls her to masturbate
Second part is about her being way too lewd all the time. Her 'kinky' self disguises herself as her older self and has sex with her
It ends with her slapping her older self-kinky self, who regresses back to her younger self and merges again with her other younger self who helped her masturbate in the first part.

It was the 80s, shit got weird a lot.

>>4565051
It depends on what aspects you want to explore, As a kink it might have limited appeal, but if it's something you love I wouldn't let that stop you.
If you want to bring up stuff like how someone has changed as they grow up, or how their younger or older self appeals to them, then there is a story to be had.
Older self might travel back in time and keep her identity a secret from herself.
There are lots of ways she can screw herself. I think the trick with a story like this is to be a little bit more clever then anyone expects it to be.

>>4565181
I like the idea myself and I already know what I want to achieve. I have the main plot planned out already.
As I've said I was just looking for the examples on how the longer selfcest story was done before, but damn, it's near impossible to find.
I guess I'll have to write it blind, which isn't that much of a problem. Thanks for your time.

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I am in the inspiration-gathering and planning phase of my next VN, which takes place in a magical higher-education institute.
Does anyone have neat ideas about events or intrigues for my characters to interact with which I may possibly steal for my own purposes?
I have my own list of ideas of course, but I thought it might be interesting to read what others may consider for such a setting.

>>4566826
What kind of magic/setting?

>>4566826
Hilariously horrible witches battle of background NPCs.
>I cast helium boobs
>I cast flat-as-a-board-chest
Or some such. Imho most VNs forget the comedy aspect of the tragedy duo.

>>4566828
I was being vague because I'm just casually fishing for inspiration, but the basic setting is a remote boarding college-type research institution. Any kind of magic is acceptable but in the setting there is a distinct separation of vocation between a Witch, a Wizard, and a Mage.

>>4566836
>a Witch, a Wizard, and a Mage.
are these innuendos of evil teachers, christmas cake teachers and married teachers?
jokes aside, how much of an inspiration is Little Witch Academia?

>>4566839
I've never watched it. The inspiration was re-reading Harry Potter eighteen years later.

>>4566840
I see. I'm not sure if you want to have a strict worldbuilding and magic system or just as a plot device, but if the later then consider a student magically growing her bangs to cover her eyes when she's too shy to face her beloved

>>4566836
It was just that without the somewhat less vague explanation it's hard to recommend ideas because there's a pretty broad spread between like D&D/Elder Scrolls style "colleges" of magical academia and stuff like LWA or Harry Potter where it's more or less modern day but rural. Sorta informs whether suggestions are stuff like "the local village has a festival where the witches help peasant farmers with their harvest" or "the students sneak into the nearby town to go to the movies and shop at a mall for cute stationary"

>>4563302
I think we need more furry x human...

>>4566841
>>4566842
There are no right or wrong suggestions as I was merely curious about what ideas others might draw from such a concept. These are all equally valid!
But if you want to know, it is a rigid magic system somewhere between "scholarly magical academia" and "magic high school". There is both room for helium boob spells and the practical application of the arcane toward agriculture.

>>4566843
die

>>4566843
Live.

>>4565471
Haha, damn. Turns out the biggest obstacle so far is how are the main characters supposed to refer to each other. At this moment there is three versions of the main character (or just one, that's why it's awkward) aged 25, 16 and 9.
I don't want to deprive them of the core identity that they are the same person so I'm calling them "ms. Greenwall", "Sophia" and "Soso". Setting is fairly realistic, aside from two time-travels, which leaves the problem that the neighbors might find suspicious that three girls named the same and looking similar are living in one place, so I might have to develop them some alternate personas, just for bystanders.

>>4566843
Agreed as long as you specifically mean furry x human yuri. HMOFA is an absolute blight.

>>4566826
Substitution. Tatoeba, if MC shares a room with another girl, you can make her sometimes be replaced by impostor. Depending on the angle you want to approach it can be something like:
1) Its a spy from enemy faction and she decided to infiltrate via identity theft.
2) It's an obsessive yandere that's interested in MC in particular.
3) It's an eldritch abomination that only mimics humans.

Switching back and forth is preferable to one-time replacement. The keyscene the whole plot spins around woud be MC fucking that character not knowing about the replacement. Or you can try different angle - by the time sex starts MC already knows about the substitution thing or at least highly suspicious, but can't tell if she fucks her roommate or the impostor.

>>4566866
wow, there's an actual Japanese person on /u/

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>>4566862
No, and I also hate the dumbass meme that formed around it. Why would I mean anything besides yuri?

>>4566866
>3) It's an eldritch abomination that only mimics humans.
Ero-Itou typed this post.
Ero-Itou for galactic president.

>>4566843
Furry or no but I'm obsessed with kemonomimi girl x human girl stuff
I have yet to put my ideas to paper however

>>4566995
Moshikashite u mad, gaijin-kun?

>>4566826
I can't find it right now but I read some stuff a while ago where the magic college had a dueling system where the one who wins a duel makes the other their familiar and gains total control over them. Stuff like physical sensations including pain and pleasure, their physical shape, even pltheir personality and consciousness
I think it was a bit extreme for a romance story, but a more toned down version could be fun for an edgy, kinky, master/familiar romance

>>4566848
They should have to raise some sort of magical creature in pairs as part of a long term assignment.

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Decided to participate in this year's Toxic Yuri VN Jam in order to finally motivate myself to finish a whole visual novel project. Here's some tentative art I did for the MC and her main love interest. Although calling what they have "love" is maybe a bit of a stretch, since these two bring out the absolute worst in each other.

The MC, Meliora, is about to ascend to the highest ranking position in the city, but she's left behind a dark past of betrayal and backstabbing in order to get there. The LI is Viscerine, a notorious serial killer who preys exclusively on young women. After Meliora captures her, she plans to torture Viscerine to atone for a personal grudge. But Viscerine's over sadomasochism and dark worldview start to awaken something in Meliora's heart, and soon she finds herself drawn to this woman she knows she should hate.

The script is finished, at about 10k words long, and now I'm going to try and fill out as much art for it as possible before the jam ends. It's got a ton of girls hurting each other and generally being evil, overt sado-maso fanservice, and some attempts at real meditations on grief and sin.

Definitely won't be for everyone, but if that sounds like your thing, it'll get posted for free on Itch.io once it's finished, most likely in early July.

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>>4561951
We now have a trailer for this up on Youtube!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0O8L7D7_7o

We had to crop the hell out of Alice's tits to get the CG in there.

>>4567824
Toxic Yuri in general isnt for everyone. It's a niche within a niche. Just gotta deal with that.

Would anyone ever read a horror/action story about a psychic tomboy with a soft center and a girly girl who's surprisingly tough falling in love and protecting their small town? Ghosts, demons, lots of fighting, exorcism, spooky paranormal stuff, etc? I've been workshopping this story for longer than I care to admit, and I just feel like I can't get it to where I'm satisfied with it.

>>4569372
In what format?

>>4569378
Honestly, I think it would work best as a comic or manga, but I have zero drawing capabilities whatsoever. So I try and try and try to write it out in a novel format, but I just can't get it to where I'm satisfied with it. It just makes me incredibly frustrated with myself.

>>4569384
Perfect is the enemy of good, etc. Get it vaguely complete first and then start asking what's wrong with it.

>>4569372
I read this as "psychotic tomboy" and I was like, yes, please.

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>>4569384
>>4569438
Yeah write it out first then you can nitpick honestly would be interested in reading it

>>4570420
>>4569438
Thank you both kind anons. I'm going to do my best, and I'm gonna endeavour to have something posted at some point in the next couple weeks.

>>4569496
If you like psychotic, you might like a certain character I have planned. Or maybe not.

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>>4566996
>>4566843
Every 12 months or so I spend a couple days considering becoming a lesbian furry porn artist (despite not being a furry) but then never act on it. It feels like a really open niche and I think I would enjoy the minutia of drawing fur details the way I enjoy rendering frills on clothing. Also, I feel like there should be more yuri fairy content. I want to draw gay fairies being problematic.

>>4575610
You should play in traffic.

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>>4575617

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>>4567824
Small update: this will be releasing on Monday, for anyone who wants to read it! It's got a whopping 8 CG's of kissing and different kinds of sado-masochistic play, along with a dark fantasy story about murder, guilt, repression, and yearning. It's a deeply evil tale of deeply evil girls.

It's also my first VN, so any feedback would be super appreciated.

>>4577585
You should say the name so interested parties know what to search for.

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>>4577660
Oh, right, that would probably be the smart thing to do lmao. "Irredeemable" is out now! I packed this with as much art as I could finish in the 1.5-month period, so it's got multiple CG's of kissing and yuri sado-masochism. Won't be for everyone of course, but if it's for you, you can read it totally free in-browser on itch:

https://dumbsuccubus.itch.io/irredeemable

>>4578216
This was neat, even if this level of toxic is a bit beyond me. I like petplay, but really only the loving kind!
Naturally, I picked Contessa first.

>>4578234
Thanks so much for checking it out, even if it wasn't totally your thing! Now that I've got all that out of my system, the next VN project I'm working on is way more wholesome.

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>>4561951
We have a demo up on Steam for this now. Check it out and let us know what you think.

>>4581581
The way the fingers are squishing that boob on the right and the way it melts into the text box makes it look like some kind of weird boob clitoris.

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I only have one suit left to finish but there's a few cards I'm iffy kinda meh about and I'm sorta hoping Lara ends up being great and explicitly gay so I have that as a potential alternate.

>>4581740
>Lara
Croft? Is she the gayest femme fatal?
Also those are some smooth edges.

>>4581742
*Isn't she
Too drunk to write. My bad.

>>4581742
Lara the probably gay fish show >>4580248 I was never big into Tomb Raider so the remakes' ship mostly passed me by.

>>4581744
Ah, good luck then.

>>4570428
Any updates anon?

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>>4581740
Art for the full deck technically complete. Last two suits when real fast, now to spend forever doing small adjustments and changing my mind about things for a year.

So i was making a porn platformer game before my brain got consumed by yuri i might have either remove or change some sex scenes to make this game yuri.

>>4591238
A fine idea, but you shouldn't have told us this. Now when you release it, anons will sperg out about which scenes are real yuri and which ones are "obviously" rebranded het.

>>4591270
I don't think that will be the issue so much as dev anon losing their focus and adding non-yuri things back in anyway.

>>4591238
How does a porn platformer work?

>>4595147
Most of the ones I've seen have knock-downs and if you are too slow to recover the enemy rapes the protagonist. Conversely some have options for the protag to rape downed enemies.

writing is hard... my creative juices, drained... my drive to continue, fading...

>>4600189
Wow, kindred spirit bellow the roof. I also struggle with making up the story, but it's mainly because I simply prefer to be drawing.

>>4600189
i've thought up so many stories of a pairing i'd like to write for and have finished exactly one (1) story about them

>>4600189
Fight on, Anon!

I recently started writing for my next VN set in a magical academy slash research institution and it's going SO slow because I am trying to world-build, establish characters, and weave future intrigue all at the same time.
It's fun though. I'll spend half an hour finding just the right obscure ancient succubus demon for my witch character to name drop in an exclamation of surprise.

>>4600208
Allow me to share my characters (subject to change):

Blair (MC) - A sort of delinquent character by circumstance and not by nature, she's an outsider suddenly thrown into a world she never knew existed Harry Potter-style where all of the mages, witches, and wizards seem to know something about her that she does not. ~20 y/o (same as her peers)

Archmage Azucena "Peregrine" Yahya - Chancellor and Provost of Magic for Navésé'e Institute of the Arcane, she is a mysterious and very well-respected mage who brings Blair into this new world for reasons unknown. ~40 y/o

Vespera - The wizard character. Despite being proudly descended from a storied lineage of runologists, she does not appear to be well respected by her wizard peers even if she is accepted by them.

Libra - The mage character, and not just ANY mage, but the "Prima Maga" of the mage class, and sure to let everyone know it as evidenced by the foremost size and splendor of her pointed hat.

Zinaida - The witch character. Edgy and provocative but also easygoing and personable. Her witch peers respect and admire her, even if she is always quick to breezily brush it off.

October - The magician character and fellow outsider (beneficiary of an equal opportunity pilot program for the arcanologically disadvantaged). She has absolutely no supernatural abilities, but knows loads of magic tricks and is adept at making even the most grumpy person smile.

Sparkling Pure Heart Cute Kazumi - The mahou shoujo character, foreign exchange student, and fellow outsider. She doesn't speak a single word of English, but magically understands it. Her appearance and demeanor is a solid purple on the magical girl scale despite her pink-colored name.

>>4600193
yeah I also have a lot of drawings that I drew because I wanted to draw it then couldn't actually think of how to integrate it into the story

>>4600209
>she's an outsider
Hehe, she's the only one with a real-life name. Surname, but let's not speak about that.

>>4600209
>Yahya
>Yaya
Methinks 'tis an omen.

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>try writing a lighthearted story
>constant urge to put memes and pop-culture jokes
I hate them like no tomorrow when I see them, so I have no clue why my brain keeps on suggesting them

Hypothetically if I was in the early development stage of a game and wanted feedback, would anyone be interesting in being a playtester?

>>4604514
if you're that early in development it's probably enough to post a short video and ask what people think, it's much less of a bother for everyone so you'll get more input that way

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>>4604522
When I say early development I mean I started it in the last thread, so 4+ months ago. Way more content than I can show in a video. I thought I'd try a different combat system than the turn-based combat that most of the other raising sims do but I don't really know if it's actually fun or not.

>>4604706
>4+ months ago
If it's a solo project 4 months is normally really early in the development cycle, they normally take several years to make, unless your scope is very small, which I guess is fine if that's what you're going for, but you'll probably end up with either a very short or very basic game.
>Way more content than I can show in a video
Complete games still need to have trailers that give a fair idea of everything they entail in less than two minutes.
I like what I see in your video even though it's not exactly my type of game so I can't judge the gameplay, but the character sprites look cute which is very important for yuri, though if you have that much more to show you should make it longer, showcase stuff like cutscenes, different gameplay mechanics, UI, etc...; also you should add a brief explanation in your post about the gameplay loop, story/setting, and things you'd like to get feedback on specifically.

>>4604706
Looks very neat.

>>4604860
I have a trailer because steam required one when I made the page... although I should probably hire an actual editor because it's not a very good trailer. I just meant more like, I want feedback on things like if the gameplay loop is fun, or if the story I've written so far is interesting. I've never written a story before and I know there are lots of writers in these threads that can give me writing tips. I figure if I'm making any big mistakes it's probably best to correct those before I'm too deep in.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/4990380/Requiem_for_a_Dying_Bloom/

I'll just drop some steam keys for the playtest if anyone is interested.

F42XL-CTRNA-J9MZG
L4PCJ-6EQ06-LZMRP
ZYL2G-322IY-MQ0XV
280DY-8AX56-89HPW
W88FC-HLNNV-TKL00

If you're not interested, just general writing tips will be appreciated. Oh and also date ideas, it's surprisingly hard coming up with those since they have to be sort of self-contained and can't reference the main story and also I need like 10-20 of them for each character... I'd love to do aquarium dates but then I'd have to make a whole tileset just for an aquarium.

>>4604954
I'm not taking part but I think you're doing great anon, the game looks charming and inspired, which I don't see very often.

>>4604954
I'm rather busy in general, but I managed to play this for around half an hour just for general notes
>The post-execution scene is probably the weakest writing-wise. It had both rather awkward info-dumpy sentences ('The intuition I've built over a year of political manoeuvring tells me it's real" or something similar) and has the protagonist be surprisingly calm when in nearly every scene after this, she's a gremlin
>MC's default expression could be changed - it makes her look like she has a resting bitch face while her character is closer to a stereotypical comedic villainess
>Introductions to the love interests were overall fine, but I guess they could be improved by mentioning what they were doing in the bad end timeline - MC seems to have ignored the low-borns previously, but she could mention what happened to her maid or the rival noble or what changed between timelines. There was a glimmer of that in the rival's introduction, for example.
>Some maps are problematic - especially in what is a raising sim. Even with the dash ability, searching for any interactable spots in larger spots like the academy takes a while. The teleport button could be more pronounced, or a basic map with interactable spots marked could be offered
>Some buttons can be clicked on; some have to be interacted with the Space button - I would recommend uniting the control scheme.
>Disaster flags seem cool, but I need to see how they would get used beyond the intro get enough money mission to say anything more
>I see that there's a day/night system like in Magical Princess where night actions bring negative karma, but they probably need some refluffing - for what reason does playing the piano at night give MC bad girl points? And why does searching stuff at the library imply that MC rips out random pages?
>Some balancing issues - a day of str classes is beaten in stat gain by farming, and I haven't seen a solid way to gain motivation, but maybe I overlooked something

>>4604954
I played 6 and a half hours, which I think is most of the way through what exists? into day 49 or so, beyond the banquet and foiling the uncle guy a second time.

I agree with other anon that the maps are, in general, a bit oversized. I think especially it feels odd for the school and Delia's house, because it just feels like the hallways are street sized and very empty. I think you could condense things much more and lower the player speed if you're worried about people getting through things too fast. I also was going to say the thing about mouse controls, specifically the love interest interaction menus don't seem to respond to mouse clicking which is awkward.

I think the Stamina system works conceptually but in practice feels like you are spread too thin. It feels bad that each day I have to choose between crafting/farming stuff, and relationship stuff, and then later, doing the dungeon at all. Which resulted in me completely ignoring all strength agility stuff to instead just dump into alchemy and do nothing but sell poisons for money, which i'll get to in a bit.

The dungeon was weirdly balanced as a feature. It feels much more involved than anything else (because you have to actually wander through and fight things and find stuff, and also much more rewarding but this kinda ends up being "bad" insofar as it feels like it is so much better for the stam cost. For 10 points I could plant 5 plants OR I could do ~3-4 dungeon floors once and get a bunch of different materials and magicite and also gold. I feel like it shouldn't be competing. Like you'd be better off just having it not have a stamina cost and being a once a day think similar to lessons.

The train is too wooden. Like actually wooden. For the first second where it showed up on the screen I thought a giant was walking by in clogs.

Subjective but I'm not sure how well the mouth movement thing works, and I almost feel like maybe you'd be better off without it.

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>>4606095
(continued)
Motivation as a whole felt awkward. It feels very punishing at the start and then completely meaningless later when your skills are so high that crafting at almost no motivation is still masterwork results. Like other anon, it felt unintuitive to recover because it (AFAI could tell) basically comes down to flirting with girls and NOT doing stuff. Maybe consider not time gating it but instead introducing some other non-stamina activity the player can do, like a minigame, to recover it? Like the dungeon, I think you should factor in player time investment as a resource being spent. Like if a thing takes time for the player to do, it doesn't necessarily need to also cost stamina because they are already "paying" for it by spending time doing it.

On occasion, my english text would switch briefly back into Japanese. Loading screen text was the most frequent suspect.

Stuff on the northern end of the school doesn't have z-ordering (or whatever engine equivalent) on, so the player goes overtop of sprites they should pass behind, similarly Sophia doesn't have the proper ordering in that scene where you follow her downstairs after the first night after coming back.

NPCs (mostly the maids in Delia's house) can push her around. It is especially annoying in doorways if you happen to be trying to go through a door when the wandering maids happen to be also trying to come through in the other direction.

The dynamic shadow being enabled on Delia looks strange and out of place with the otherwise fairly simple looks and effects, but if you're going to keep it on, you should probably only use collision for the lower half of the character, because as is, it casts weird oversized shadows.

Pic related, for the "side" windows in the school.

Is Delia's mother supposed to look so young?

>>4606100
(continued more)

Lastly I guess, while on the whole I liked the dates and stuff, it feels a bit unsatisfying that the love interest dialogue does not dynamically shift with relationship level. It was strange for example to have Audrey speak to Cordelia the same as initial attitude even when she was already positive 600+/ level 4. On this subject, there is also some minor weirdness surrounding the interactions here, I think because you didn't expect for the player to buy Audrey several dresses. Cordelia brings up the promise and wonders if Audrey remembers, but by that point I had already done the date where Audrey insists she doesn't (but clearly does). Similarly the dungeon scene was jarring because by that point Cordelia and Audrey were already sort of getting along and had gone on a few dates, because I had raised Audrey's attitude so much, but then Audrey just sort of storms into the dungeons like they are still totally enemies and goes on about how she's going to torture Delia.

So I guess you will either need to compensate for the potential that a player has already won Delia over before a lot of her narrative scenes, or somehow forcibly limit her progression. Either way, I think you should look into adjusting the chat dialogue and npc initial reactions when speaking to the player based on the affection level, because it made it sort of feel like there was no progress .

>>4606103
Oh, I guess in terms of combat. It felt fine? Slimes feel a bit fast for being slimes, and I tihnk there's something that feels... not quite right about the floating skulls being able to fire while they are going through walls, especially because in some of the larger dungeon rooms this compounds into a weird effect where like 3 distant skulls will start firing and then suddenly you just have waves of projectiles coming at you from off-screen. Neither the skulls nor the slimes felt unfairly difficult or anything though, this was more of a gut impression thing.

It feels like dash should be able to jump the narrow gaps, both for combat and also because there were times in the dungeon when backtracking through a room where I'd have to go the long way around a pit instead of just crossing a narrow jump.

The post-banquet fight, with the bullet hell spirals felt like a weird jump up in difficulty compared to regular dungeon 1-5 or the train fight. Also I dunno how you'd deal with that situation if you were doing a mostly sword thing instead of mostly magic, because it feels like combat just isn't designed for you to want to be anywhere near enemies, especially with the big self-destruct orbs and the swarms of projectiles skulls and cultists do.

I learned an electrical spell from the Int skill pane but then wasn't sure how to do it or if it just replaced the default orb attack.

Also you can overcap skills in those panes. When I stopped playing my bottom right skill icon was saying (19) available points, but I had none to spend, because I had so over-invested into intelligence/alchemy stuff that it was just giving me points for categories where I had already maxed the skills.

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>>4604954
I played some.
Completely remap floor 2. While constructing floor 2 make it unavailable until you tested each path. Give each classroom a door and a default teacher. Rework your English translations. Give some player freedom in the beginning (possible minigame with the hunting maid). Try to stay logical and don't break off conversation when there is no need (prematurely saying goodbye on a train). And stay consistent in your character model (necklace). Also jump in with your illustrations when your character demands it not when you feel like it.

Great job on the moving character model. It's visually appealing and a step forward in visual story telling. But the mouth movement is unnecessary, imho. Most of us are glued on the text. Saves resources.

>>4606068
>I haven't seen a solid way to gain motivation
Mostly by making food or servants/upgrades from the desk in your room, but they might be a bit too weak at the moment to justify the cost.
>>4606095
>which I think is most of the way through what exists
Yeah that's all I have so far. The last event is on week 50 and there's nothing beyond that (took me awhile to draw the CG for that one). I'm currently working on having Theophania transfer in on year 2 since she hasn't shown up at all since the intro.
>specifically the love interest interaction menus don't seem to respond to mouse clicking which is awkward.
That was my bad, I was trying to add controller support but when I did that it messed up the UI and I didn't notice it. I fixed it.
>>4606103
>somehow forcibly limit her progression
yeah I probably should have flag requirements for date progression. Also maybe I should nerf gifts or make Audrey start at a lower relationship value because it's supposed to be pretty hard to get her to like you anyway.
>>4606105
>It feels like dash should be able to jump the narrow gaps
I felt this too, but I wasn't sure what would happen if you missed the dash and landed in the gap. Lose some health and respawn at the door you came in from or something?

Thanks for all the feedback, I made sure to take note of everything even if I didn't respond to it here.

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Will need to adjust the edge margins if I do more prints because whatever they're doing to print doesn't quite center to proportion but I'm pretty excited they're a physical thing now.

>>4609315
Uh noicu! Extremely well done getting it printed. Can you officially do card reading now or do you need to print more? And what design did you pick for the back?

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>>4609316
I have the full 78 card deck!

>>4609317
Amazing work. Quick question what's the thing on the top left on the back in the background? It looks like something long something akin to a flute. Or a bamboo stick? A wand maybe? And could you give us a demonstration and tell us if next year will be good for Yuri?

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>>4609321
>the thing on the top left
A wand (or baton or stave or whatever you'd like to call that suit).
>tell us if next year will be good for Yuri
I don't want to get blamed for cursing a whole year if a reading comes out terrible. I already feel like I might have inadvertently ruined things when I drew pic related back at the end of August and then it became sort of prophetic.

>>4609324
You are not wrong but you also could be eternally praised if 2027 is banger for Yuri. It's a 50:50 chance. But if you don't feel fine with either cursing or blessing the entirety of next year how about just this month? Or just do one for me. I'm thinking of a particular game (obviously Yuri) and with your cards and your reading power we will find out if it ever gets an update. Just for funsies.

Cute drawing. What was the prophecy about?

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>>4609334
>What was the prophecy about?
That true love would end up in hollow, emotional suffering and crushing loneliness because of the weight of reality.

>for Yuri
We are currently in a pleasant journey that might get complicated, and there is a likelihood that things that seem like gifts will turn out to be challenges. We should try to focus on rising above, on the divinity of yuri and its supremacy. Our past holds strong conviction and that has given us a strength of clarity. Success is in our future, but it too may come with unexpected complications.
>find out if it ever gets an update
Things do not look good, but that might result in greater opportunities. Things that seem revealed or resolved might not be.

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>>4609345
>doomed Yuri
Glad to have dodged that bullet.

>divinity of yuri and its supremacy
>blessed by Madokami-sama herself
I kneel in prayer. Next year we eat good.

>Things do not look good
Knew it.
>The Moon XVIII
This month will be the 18th w/o an update and that card depiction hits too close too home. Also Utena reference on Extreme?

>pic
You lil' brat.

Btw. what's the number on Outing in Latin? It looks like IVII. Which doesn't make any sense. And the Sun and Emperor cards are truly adorable.

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>>4609375
>number on Outing in Latin
VIII

>>4609378
Curious, I assumed at first glance that bottom left was Homo Homu. But there is no Homo Homu in sight. What was your reasoning for keeping her out of the card?

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>>4609385
She has her own card.

>>4609392
Holy high tier deck build but...
>Hanged not Devil
If my goldfish brain doesn't betray me there is also supposed to be an only "Devil" card in tarot or something equivalent to, is there not? Sorry, if I got that confused. Sincerely would love to request more readings for different Yuri stuff. If you ever feel like opening a Yuri tarot reading thread just say the word and I'm there. There is so much possible fun stuff to be had with that kind of stuff. Now open an Etsy store and let the rest of us join in. You've already sold me. The wallet is screaming.
All jokes (?) aside you really created an honest to Madokami-sama incredible work of art. Feel maximum appreciation with whatever you do with it going forward. Thanks for existing.

>>4609400
I did consider going with Devil but liked the visual of hanged man too much to go for the literal angle, and the Devil card, at least in the old French tarot book I worked from, is about physical strength and violence which felt at odds with what Homura's devilry is about.
>open an Etsy store
I really don't want to bait cease and desists, the anime are probably fine except maybe any owned by VIZ but there's some western ship cards that might be more trouble. I'm considering maybe generic'ing it into non copyright characters that are more referential than direct depictions, legally distinct Madoka or what have you. I'll post in the thread if I end up deciding on something.

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>>4609407
Well darn, there is actually a real Devil card! I was just gambling on that to be true and half expecting if it was true you'd post your own card version.
And there is even much more thought put behind each card than I could even foresee. I love your brain.
But exactly this makes me envious and jealous that you are the only one that can hold the original. I bid you an extraordinary capable assistant who collects licenses like free candy and visionary advertisers that see the profit in investing in that sort of thing.

Where do people with no followers self publish their english oneshots nowadays?

>>4609644
On every possible site that allows uploading oneshots.

>>4609644
I uploaded my random writing thing on AO3. I think the site is supposed to be for fanfiction but they haven't deleted it.
I wasn't trying to promote it in any way, though, just posted it to share.

>>4609672
>I think the site is supposed to be for fanfiction
Original stuff is entirely allowed, fanfiction is just the focus. That is why there is an "original work" fandom category/tag.

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I would like to create something like manager or tycoon, where you can build own lesbain brothel business, find clients, client network, fight with competitors, etc. I love such types of games. Shame, that I can't code.

>>4609667
is uploading english oneshot on pixiv... kosher?
should i MTL it to japanees?

>>4610345
RPG maker is exactly for people who hesitate with learning any programming language. Well, you'd still be better with writing scripts, but that type of game is doable without them, even if it comes out rather primitive.

>>4610443
I don't see why not. There are some English only creators on there with big followers. But I seriously wouldn't recommend going for MTL. Translate it yourself if you must have a Japanese version but if you don't have the skill stay English only and let the user decide to go that route. Apply the right tags and don't expect much. You can filter AI work on pixiv. That's why I highly recommend staying away from it.