>elves are an immortal race with perfect genetics, unmatched beauty and can commune with gods and nature than any other race>dwarves all mine and live in underground, reclusive societies also obsessed with drinking, treasure and fighting most have beards and scottish accents >orcs, goblins and trolls are all violent, irrational, greedy monsters who hate and destroy life Am i the only one sick of the fact that Tolkien tropes have such a stranglehold on the depiction of fantasy in games?
>>740612340
>>740612340No because>someone tries to do nontolkien tropes>it fucking sucks
Yesterday I had a dream where I was at a library in a giant tree with my wife who was an elf and she was pregnant with our kid, then we were cornered by royal guards with spears because human x elf relationships were illegal.
>>740612340Scottish dwarves is not a Tolkien trope, it's a Jackson trope. The dwarvish language was modelled to be semitic, so Tolkien dwarves are jews/arabs
Dwarves are dwarves.
>>740612340santa's elf sucking on high elf's titties when
>>740612340I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENTRight but with left body proportions from the neck down
Elves are for ugly goblin rape. Only though generations of relentless rape will we get handsome male goblins
>>74061274615 axe dwarves
Random side tangent due to ops photo, is Santa still big for kids nowadays? Don't see the big man really in Christmas decorations that much anymore. Not sure if I'm just getting older and not noticing him or so.
>>740612340In The Elder Scrolls you got numerous variants of elves like Tolkien except many are genocidal, worship unholy deities, are cannibals, want to genocide anyone that disagrees with them. Dwarves are just a variant of elf and tried to supplant reality. Orcs are a variant of elves and do their own thing. In Dragon Age elves are bums who live in squalor in human cities or as hippies trying to reclaim some lost glory they had. The orcs in that series are a literal, soulless cancer plague and dwarves well...they're mostly the same as the Tolkien variant with political intrigue thrown in. Those are off the top of my head.
>>740612778True!
>>740612778I see the vision
>>740612340I love you knock-off Deedlit with breast implants
>>74061274610 shield dwarves
>>740612876I've been wondering what parents tell their kids about things like the Tooth Fairy honestly. Like I'm a light sleeper and caught my parents placing a dollar under my pillow on my 2nd tooth and that was in the 90s.
>>740612874>not 10 scream dwarfsRookie mistake. Axe dwarf only has 1 axe so you only got 15 axe, but scream dwarf has 2 axe so you get 20 axe. Is math.
>>740612340>real mythology: All faeries are more or less the exact same shit with some minor variations, they live on trees, and if you don't do your chores and eat your porridge they will sneak inside your house in the middle of the night and stick their fingers up your bum
>>740612340Santa's got taste
>>740612340In traditional mythology basically everything was out to trick or harm humankind except for like house elves that can be helpful, but you're basically extorted into being nice to them or else they'll steal your baby and replace it with a changeling. Tolkien actually gave mythological creatures a lot more distinction and personality.
>>740612687I don't believe you.
>>740613038The scream dwarf is a scream dwarf, not a double axe dwarf. The two axes are decoration.
Santa's elves and Tolkien elves aren't the same creature in other languages. Santa slave race should really be referred to as sprites, brownies, pixies or Han Chinese.
>>74061274610 Scream dwarfs
>>740612876When I was a kid I always knew it was my parents buying the gifts and I thought that pretending Santa did it was just "part of the game". But I was always kind of an overly serious kid.
I like to headcanon christmas elves are just fantasy elves after being domesticated by santa
>>740612687last night i had a dream my little baby cousin was scared of tung tung tung sahur so i grabbed it in my hand and strangled it while my cousin was hiding his face under a blanket and I held it over his head. i told my cousin you can look now he’s gone and he screamed because i was holding it right over his face. i woke up laughing hysterically
>>740612340One on the right is hotter
>>740612746>trap dwarf
>>740612340hey fuck you wooden trains are great
>>74061274610x crossbow and I stutterstep micro.
You think Santa can defeat Goku
I prefer the Tolkien tropes being recycled over completely characterless "subversions" of Tolkien Tropes.>our elves are different"Your" elves are vapid.
>>740613284>Trying to kite elves>Known for their long range magic and longbowsYou have a deathwish.
>>740612340Any time someone tries to make their own shit or warp tolkien archetypes into their own thing, it's almost always gay and lame. See: every IP Obsidian has created
Simply put, Tolkien invented modern high fantasy from scratch. Pretty much everything since Tolkien is either copying Tolkien, or defined by how it bends over backwards to not copy Tolkien and invent its own some super races or whatever.Before Tolkien, elves used to be fairy tale shit, there were two inch tall fairies fluttering above flowers or whatever. That's kinda less cool. But there's nothing preventing anyone from taking literally any mythology you want and making a setting inspired by it, the problem is that doing that is a ton of work when the entire high fantasy genre already has the elves, dwarves and orcs pre-made for you.Also >>740613063 is correct, but then again Tolkien took a few fairy tale races and made them interesting. You can trivially take any amount of other fairy tale races and try to make them interesting.
>>740612746Song Dwarf is the only one carrying ale, so twelve Song Dwarves and one Axe Dwarf.
>>740613208>the like 6 foot tall fantasy elves are chrismas elves>they're not short, santa is just a horrific 20 foot tall titan
>>740613157Santa's elves are called elves in the traditional sense of the word when elves, sprites, faeries, and stuff were all the same thing.
>>740612615wouldn't having babies with an elf also cause problems to the baby? incest increases the chances of a funky weird ass gene making through and making the baby all sorts of weird but on the other hand elf dna should require a fucking translator to mix because of the whole "different species" and "fantastical fucking bullshit stick from another world", which could cause even worse problems.I mean, is that why almost all half elves are borderline autistit if not even worse?
>>740613217I had a funny dream once where I was watching someone livestream his suicide and he shot himself in the head, but he survived so he shot himself again.
>>7406127465 crossbow dwarves3 trap dwarves
>>740612890feet
>>740612340You would need another Tolkien level writer to replace current fantasy tropes. Like he was so far in to his creation he essentially created an entire fictional history/universe to explain the fantasy races, religion, and current circumstances of a fictional world just to write Lord of the Rings.Like even after decades DnD does not approach the level of dedication he had and most of that is just straight up copying his work.
Anybody ever read elfquest? I know i read the entire series but ill be danged if i remember anything that happened.
Elves are basically just extremely idealized humans. Especially elf women…their slim bodies, cute faces, and long ears..
>>7406127465 scream dwarves 2 hammer dwarves1 shield dwarf1 Holy dwarf (for personal use, not for fighting)
>>740612687Tonight I had a drean where I walked down some ramp with Minthara from BG3 besides me for some reason. I boob grabbed her and she was ok with it.I've never had dreams with an elf and I do not like her at all in the game. I like drows though.shit like this only happens when I sedate myself to sleep with alcohol or drugs.
>>740612340Tolkien based his stuff on ancient Germanic mythology, though. Santa's elves are ultimately descended from these same elves, via the fact that depictions of Santa in Europe descend mostly from pre-Christian Germanic Yule traditions around Odin. In Germanic mythology, the elves were related to the gods and often crafted things for them. Santa being descended from old depictions of Odin as a gift-giver, and his elven workshop being descended from the eleven craftersmen who worked for the Aesir.
>>7406127466 Song dwarf and 2 Scream dwarf. Ain't no prissy elf prancing flute ninny gonna drown out the bantering songs and screaming we'd be doin
They all piss me off.
>>7406127461 scream dwarf, 4 shield dwarfs, 2 crossbow dwarfs, one song dwarf and 1 heal dwarf
>Alien shows up>No we don't drink alcohol at the bar, we snarp goglen at the dooperdop>We don't have sex with the prostitutues>We frimbar in the whizzsnap>All of this just looks like the normal human activities but some weird testicle-skinned alien is doing it instead and the alcohol has an eyeball in it, or they have 2 cocksSort of sick of it. But any genuine unique fantasy gets ignored because it's "too weird" so we get aliens that are just humans with testicle skin, or are communist bugs.Every alien game can now be replaced by just watching coneheads. Yes including ass effect.
>>740613208>Give one Anatolian gigachad immortality>He turns your entire race of uppity bitches into his personal harem while providing toys for each subsequent generation of humanityGuess those knifeears weren't so tough after all...
Night Elves are still my favorite elves.Similar enough to feel familiar but different enough to make them stand out and be somewhat unique.Love that warcraft mix of nature savageness but highly intelligent sophistication.
>>740613208
>>740612340>Body on the left with the mentality of the right
>>740613643Lel I know that feel
>>740613484They are not "tropes" they are modern depictions of mythological European archetypes. Tolkien didnt invent dwarves or elves, he adapted them. It is why they are so popular and enduring, because they speak to people on a subconscious level. Its also why any attempts to subvert these "tropes" fail, because they dont speak to peoples souls.
>>7406127461 Rune Dwarf3 Scream Dwarves2 Axe Dwarves2 Hammer Dwarves1 Heal Dwarf
>>740613208Santa The Buck Breaker
>>740612746Song DwarfTrap DwarfHeal DwarfRune DwarfHoly Dwarf>5 diggas in a row
>make up a fictional race of people who are supposedly always pretty, the epitome of beauty, are always righteous, live in seclusion and never apparently bother ANYONE but somehow always under attack/oppressed, are adept/masters of a skillset that somehow no one else is, have no distinct culture, and always the good guys >also they always look like caucasian people Who came up with this shit?
>>740613725So Santa is a Turk after all.
>>740613670The original Warcraft aesthetic was so good man, Warhammer Fantasy meets 90s anime.
>>740612724Uhh but those dwarves do manual labor which as we know the real life jews are allergic to
>>740613208>>740613673
>>740612746>10 Crossbow DwarfsAgainst elves you need to spam Crossbow Dwarfs because the feckless cowards wont face you in melee.
any bbw elves
>>740613484>Like even after decades DnD does not approach the level of dedication he had and most of that is just straight up copying his work.DnD is a games system worked on by tons of people over the years. I think in total amount of "lore" it probably has more than Tolkien had, it's just disjointed, contradictory, retconned across editions, and also it's not a fucking book so a lot of the lore is just infodumps rather than a coherent narrative.That amount of autism definitely exists and has been done since then. Hell I think Elder Scrolls probably has a comparable amount of lore, the main thing it's really lacking are proper conlangs, because Tolkien was a linguistics autist. I'm not counting shit like WH40k, because it has an immense amount of lore, but a lot of it is again really disjointed, being a massive media franchise.The real unique thing is that Tolkien happened to be a good writer AND a good worldbuilding autist. The combination of these two is relatively rare. That plus Tolkien was the first and so became the most famous.
>>740612340>Northern Europeans>Eastern Europeans>Africans
>>740612340Am I imagining things or wasn't there an image where the roles are reversed?
>>740613208>Pelinal is just fantasy Santa
>>740613857Yeah so arab then.
>elves are robots from space sent to explore the planet>dwarves are freaky bug people that live underground>humans are apes that try to be good and fail sometimes>orcs are pigs that like it dirty
>>740613920Never seen it, but it feels like it should exist.
>>740612746>5 crossbow dwarves>2 trap dwarves>1 heal dwarfThat's all you need to run a years-long guerilla campaign in the heart of elven territory.
>>74061274610 shield dwarfs is just objectively correct
>>740612340when are non-tolkien fantasy races done right? it's always>make them gay or niggers or weird plant creaturesi'm genuinely curious what's a good take on them?
>>740614196cute
Warhammer Fantasy has the best elvesbut good porn is rare
>>740614310A cringe-ass synthesis
>>7406127465 Shield Dwarves (elves like bows too much), 1 Heal Dwarf (to keep the wall strong), 3 Crossbow Dwarves to counter-shoot so they can't just sit back at Parthia us. 1 leftover point goes to a keg of ale. Total Elf Death.
>>740612746TEN SCREAM DWARVES!!!!!!!!!
>>740614307aren't they all WHORES?
Stop. Sexualizing. Elves.
>>740612340Because those are the traits they have. If we had what you're talking about then those aren't elves or dwarves or orcs.Its just a knife ear, a midget and an alien.
Why didnt gandalf just teleport the ring into the volcano
>>740614310Need elven toymaker gf wife immediately
>>740612746>2 shield dwarfs to handle elf arrows>3 crossbow dwarfs to shoot back>1 scream dwarf to release when the time's right>1 song dwarf for dwarf morale>1 holy dwarf for my morale
>>740612340No because I love dwarves. Plenty of fantasy series without elves or dwarves anyway
honestly Warhammer fantasy nailed everything rightmaybe the new Bashira/Tigermen is gay shit
>>740614227Even in tolkein weren't elves particularly prone to hubris and occasional greed over completely retarded goals / objects / places?I know the hubris one definitely but I remember them fighting over insignificant shit that didn't matter a few too many times.They seem to cut out the flaws of them in most fantasy, or it's just bullshitted away>So anyways nobody cares about this 7 foot tall superhuman in our medieval world>Haha just a little raycism here and thereWhen in reality some elf coming into your village would be a huge thing, it's just handwaved that some 3,000 year old legendary fighter can walk around mogging all the fantasy creatures and nobody seems to care, plus we've written out many of their original flaws.And dwarfs get a handwave too of how they just aren't treated differently either, would a town even let in dwarves if they're known to be belligerent greedy drunks always wearing armor?
>>740614510Elves have needs also, Dark Elves especially
>>740614626i was playing ostland on the old world campaign recentlyhorrific bullshit, shoot everyone non-human
Should elves have big titties or small titties?Should it be diverse tit sizes like humans?
>>740612340His work doesn't have a stranglehold; what you are seeing is that the majority are not like him, they are incapable of evolving from his work.
>>740612340I prefer non-high fantasy settings with custom races, but I also don't think these tropes should disappear. It's fun and universally understood.
>>740614654i'm guessing that's because the writers are lazy or the devs don't have time to program every npc to shit themselves in awe at the sight of a godlike warrior walking among themsad but there isn't infinite dev time
>>740612778
>>740613670>Buff as fuck druids that turn into a bear and maul your face off>A literal plot point is that the Amazonian warrior women had no chance and had to rouse their husbands to combat the demonic menace I know they liked to lean into the noble savage bullshit but there was just enough there for me to take it in a based direction
>>740612340left is for disgusted handjobs
>>740612340Isn't there a plotpoint in Trickal's story that elves tried to invade earth but were legit to stupid to do so, so they got captured and forced to work as slaves to santa in the north pole?
>>740614768I like them more when they look like they were made in a bimbo factory and all rook same
>>740614756>Old Worldnot canon>Age of Trannynarnot canonWFB is finnished, only niggers are pigmies, only trannies are slaanesh mutants, bretonnian knights are men
>>740614512not truefrom all my knowledge in european mythology and experience of elves and elf adjescent niggas:>real elves tend to be spectral not physical>elves were always described as being white as and tend to only use shadow in some spectral manner>elves are HORNY, SEX SEX SEX their most common trait is SEX>they're more intelligent than humans and tend to play with them, leading their destinies towards destinations>they tend to be difficult to 'observe' to humans and are very shiny, a single meeting with them can mindrape the untrained observer>they can also come off as monsters to those who aren't pure of heart, and are testy. They are also more than 3Dimensional, existing "irrationally" and manifest however they want>they also teach people magic regularly and tend to create dynamic pocket dimensions regularlymost of these traits aren't used in game elves
>>740612340If it's so easy to make a better trope why haven't you done it?
>>740614227Go the Warhammer route - base them on a part of your culture, then ask yourself a few what ifs based on the setting they're in and change them accordingly.it's how you go from the four yorkshiremen to warhammer dwarfs.
>>740614901Rec me some books
Loving sex with Santa elves Gang rape Tolkien elves
>>7406127462 trap dwarves3 crossbow dwarves1 heal dwarf1 shield dwarf1 scream dwarf
>>740613492I read the first book as a kid and loved it, so I grabbed the whole series last year but I got sidetracked halfway through. It's pretty good. Most elves being manlets that degenerated from the gigachad high elves was pretty funny.
>>740614793sexo
>>740614510impregnate marcille
>>740614861im talking about total war warhammer 3 you stupid nigger
>>740614654Tolkien elves were definitely in no way shape or form perfect. Some of them were wise and shit, and many were content to live in their immortal peace just crafting trinkets or sitting in proto-paradise or whatever, but plenty of them had flaws like greed, pride, hubris, etc. Just about the only thing that's not really seen in Tolkien elves is plain retardation for no reason - they were overall quite intelligent. But intelligence does not mean wisdom.The thing is by the time of the Lord of the Rings, most of the elves fucked off or died long ago, and there's only a few enclaves left. Those enclaves are mostly populated by the wiser kind of elves, who were calm enough to remain peaceful and cultivate their high elven gardens for millenia rather than getting entangled in stupid shit and getting killed in some cosmic wars. Plus the actual adventure of LotR mostly interacts with particularly wise and high elven lords, without even touching much on common elf society, so most of the screentime is dedicated to 10,000 year old demigod elves of infinite wisdom and grace and beauty.And since LotR is by FAR the most popular Tolkien piece of media, that's the stereotype that everyone learned.
>>740612640 >WHAT IF LE ORC... GOOD>AND HUMAN... LE BAD ACTUALLY?nah it's shit.
>>740613673every picture is an older picture of you dumb elf bitch
>>740614856fake tits elves based
>>740614768On the smaller side for full elves.
>>740614991Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett
>>740614391I was going for 6/2/1 but it really depends on the terrain
>>7406127465 axe dwarves, 3 hammer dwarves, 2 scream dwarves and a rune dwarf.Not sure what I'm cooking here but whateer
>>7406127465 shield dwarves and 5 crossbow dwarves. The pointy ears will shoot at us. We will shot at the pointy ears. We have shields. They (probably) don't.
>>740615147MR. ADVERTISER GET DOWN!
>>740614654People forget the first named elf was Thranduil, a haughty, pompous asshole whos kingdom had a notorious reputation for brewing alcoholic beverages. He is one of the main antagonists and also literally demands treasure from the band of dwarves he captures.
death to every single knife ear.
>game has elves>theyre just haughty blondes with pointy earsi hate this shit
>>740615198That's really cute but->struggling to find enough playstation 5ssuspension of disbelief shattered.
>>740615147God I feel old
Meanwhile Japan just added Kobolds to Tolkien for their settings and called it a day
>>740615439Couple settings have had interesting idea of elves having their ears being cut so they look like humans they were conquered by.
Around elves, watch yourselves.
>>740614991The Poetic Edda and whatever relates to analyzing its origin/inspirationsDictionary of northern mythology : Simek, Rudolf (the pages that matter)Random shit form Vuk Karadzic about rural Elf stories ("vile" as well as some similar ones though I don't know if those were ever translated to English, btw he only compiled the stories not write them) as well as any Russian ones that you might find.Research on the history of the pentagram in Europe ironically leads back to ElvesAnd just general googling about etymological roots, and the 'family tree' of the Aesir/Vanir as well as how the motifs of the Aesir are seen in relation to Asura "centered" religions in the rest of Europe and their origin, and their equivalents
>>740615147Who would buy a pregnant elf?
>>740612746elves use bows, so I'm going with 7 shield dwarves, 1 song dwarf, and 1 heal dwarf
This reeks of GRRM fanboy.
>>74061274610 Scream Dwarves, yeah?
>>740612340No. Fantasy is a inherently trash genre and I get no amount of schadenfreude out of it collapsing in on itself at the moment. It's especially sad since most of them are a step down from Tolkien in complexity and intresting traits.
>>740615439reddit meme
>>740614995Conplete semen demon (on the lower right)
>>740612340>high elf>big titsPick one
>>740615687Someone willing to risk the 50/50 for the oyakodon.Or you can trap the boy if you are into that.
>>740615687the child is a female
>>740615629They follow the D&D version of kobolds which are little rat-like guys instead of the little blue guys in traditional mythology.
>>740612876There’s been a push to remove Santa from holiday decorations over the last couple years as punishment for consumers unanimously rejecting the “black Santa” concept. You could go to any home goods store and see shelves upon shelves of Santas that look like their skin is covered in “chimney soot” and none of them would sell even on clearance. So the powers that be are using that as an excuse to just not have ANY depiction of Santa.
>>740612640>>someone tries to do nontolkien tropesA short list of fantasy properties that don't do tolkien tropes and are great as a result:>Madou Monogatari.>Fate Grand Order Lostbelt 6.>Kirby.>Paper Mario and the Thousand year door.>Elden Ring>Dark souls. >Dragon Quest.>Undertale. >Legend of Zelda>Final Fantasy (When it's not Sci fi)Meanwhile even most good tolkien fantasy is at least partly subversive. See early Warcraft, see Warhammer, see Elder Scrolls.
Were elves being smug and sexy a Tolkien thing too?
>>7406127465 shield 5 crossbow gg no re
>>740612340Deedlit wouldn't say that
>>740613857Their dwarves are based around the notion of Jews as great craftsmen.Dwarves in Tolkien are obvious analogous to Jews. Being a people who were disposed from their homeland, are masterful craftsmen, but also greedy and overly proudful.
>>740616132did that guy just get isekai'd in the middle of a nymph taking a bath?
>elves were the early humanoids>overtime they were lost to history and devolved into humans>the humans who are the descendants of elves have damn near no recollection, written or orally history of their elven ancestry, custom or affinity for magicWhat setting does this?
>>740612340>>740612340>>dwarves all mine and live in underground, reclusive societies also obsessed with drinking, treasure and fighting most have beards and scottish accentsNo, dwarves are a single sexed hermaphrodic race that happens to appear male through convergent evolution, they live entirely underground through the symbiotic use of a lichen they domesticated which they also use to excavate their dwarfholes
>>740616132they were a Norse thing and in opposition to Christianity so Tolkein removed that part from his elves
>>740616281Nah he was just exploring the countryside and slipped off a cliff.
>>740616190>>Their dwarves are based around the notion of Jews as great craftsmen.what no they arentElves in NORSE are great craftsmen, and Dwarves are still based on Elves. Didnt you watch Das Ring Der Nibelungen?Also Ive literally never heard of Jews being good at crafting anything.
>>740614793I think anon might be onto something
>>740616303real life
>>740616073>>740615995>>740615793Sure but she would be completely useless as a farm hand or maid for at least 4 years right out of the gate while she's raising the kid
>>740614793>Silly but kind>Loves making kids happy>Doesn't take life too seriously>Hard workingWIFE material right there.
>>740612340>cowtitsnot an elf
>>740612876My niece loves Santa. Some decorations we leave out year round just because she likes them.
Elves, fairies, pixies, sprites, brownies, dwarfs, gnomes, leprechauns, kobolds, sylphs and the numerous worldwide "little people" myths are kinda the same and only broken up as such due to D&D authors in the 80s needing to make them seem more different to justify their place in the book.
What are Elves really like in the original myth?
>>740616563>4 yearsUmmm, no, she can make money as a milk maid / midwife. The kid from year zero can be taught to do labor for you.Sure the kid wouldn't be useful for labor for years but we had kids working the coal mines at 5 years old.
>>740616710drowned children for the lulz
>>740616710horny, mostly as described in>>740614901
>>740616710You would need to find the earliest recorded historical concept of an elf. Even the Brother's Grimm interpretations of sociopathic fae folk are predated by Norse myth. I'm sure something predates that. Easier said than done, probably about as easy as trying to find the first myth of dragons.
>>740616132They can be cool. Tolkien's original elves can be your bros unlike the exaggerated characters people like to "subvert" with.
>>740612746All you need is a rune dwarf to channel his hatred for elves into putting some "Fucking eviscerate filthy elf bastards" runes all around your doors and windows. Use the remaining 22 beard points to buy him some kegs of stout as a reward for mulching the elven fucking retards that don't take heed of his runes.
>>740616710i only remember them being short craftsmen who were very crafty and sneaky but that's norse mythologygnomes and trolls are more short funny whimsical creatures in folklore unless you piss them off and they kill your cattle
>>740613838Blame Wow for being too ugly to bring it to live.People bitch about Warcraft going woke but you can see the seems coming apart in early Wow because they can't actually deliver on what they want to do.
>>740616876>fae folkFaeries are not "elves" from what I gathertheir names come all the way from the Greek word for "Fates" aka the 3 sisters who are primarily responsible for the bad shit that happens to mortals.They represent malicious forces of manifest fate, not elves
>>740616303I guess the Light Novel Seirei Tsukai no Blade Dance kind of does this. Elves used to live in a high mana environment, but after some stuff happened and they started living in a low mana environment most of their descendants became humans with only a relatively small population still being more elfy.
>>740616449Dwarves might actually just be a type of elves in norse myths.
>>740617079exactly what I was trying 2 imply
>>740616710There isn't really an original myth.Modern Elves are a combination of fairies, household spirits and norse dwarfs
>>740617087time to get the thread nuked... again
>>740616710also Greek Daimons are basically the Greek version of Elves, I think thats why some settings have 'Demons' with Elven ears
Do you think Elves love to have wild sex with Dwarves?
TES Elves are the worst
>>740612340>Am i the only one sick of white cultureYes, you are unhinged
>>740612890>High ElvesLive on some shitty tropical islands and do magical hoodrat shit. Were kinda bitches among Elves until all the cooler Elves had a downfall of some kind. These are like the bratty middle sibling among elves. Definitely better than their shitty younger brothers, but a far cry from their cooler older brothers. Mid Elves is much more accurate. Larp at their legacy and try to follow the example of the cooler Elves before them, but actually don't understand anything those elves were up to, so come off as massive fucking idiots. >Wild ElvesUsed to own Cyrodil until the Terminator Doomguy, powered by racism and homosexuality ripped and tore their civilization. Probably would be the current masters of the world otherwise.These are Wood Elves from any other setting, except these were pretty barbaric slavers, with a sprinkle of weirdo astrologer on top. Kinda like dwarves but worse in every way, preferring magical hippy light shows and merely casual devil worship to science and magical technology, and these are the guys the High Elves look up to the most. >Wood ElvesTruly accursed creatures that have the (dis)honor of being objectively the shittiest playable race. They eat the bugs, they live in the tree pods, they're cannibals, and arguably the only reason they have organized society at all, is one of the weird Khajiit breeds is literally just a Wood Elf but way better, and occasionally those go out, join Wood Elf society, and almost invariably rise to the top because the shittiest Khajiit is a king amongst Wood Elves.
wood elves are murderous bandits
>>740617304>Dark Elves (before)The Chimer. Used to be a lot more like High Elves, except obsessed with daedra worship, and are really shitty neighbors that constantly pick fights they get anally gaped from. Then go back to devil worship, pick more fights, then get anally gaped. The demons keep telling them this is good. Eventually they tried to pick a fight with their own demon gods, resulting in>Dark Elves (after)Miserable husks of their former selves. Have more pent up ass hurt over the various anal gapings they have recieved than anyone else, and want to make it everyone else's problem. Unfortunately, they're a shadow of what they once were, so attaining anything makes them just look even worse compared to their ancestors. Generations of asian parents endlessly nag them about not being a doctor (there hasn't been a hospital in 2000 years). Get off on slavery because of their inferiority complex, despite using these slaves for almost nothing. >DwarvesElves who figured out how to open the console. Did a bunch of weird philosophical mumbo jumbo that gave them godlike powers until one of them ran a command he didn't know, and they all died(?). Did lots of comically evil science for very little gain, but most of it was against other elves so they're cool. Kinda, romanlike in their access to impressive technology, that they just don't use because of complex reasons that, would you look at the time let's move on. Also their weapons and armor aren't weapons and armor, you're bashing people with a car fender that does fire damage because cooking the roadkill was more sanitary, or something.
>>740616098>shitthatneverhappened.txt
>>740614310if I'm not out of the holodeck by next january, notify my next of kin
>>740617204>daintiest dwarf woman vs. most butch elven male
>>740617362>Snow ElvesOnce there were some really shitty elves that lived in Skyrim. So shitty were they, that they got their shit pushed in by the ancient nords who stole their shitty frozen land. They threw themselves on the Dwarves doorstep for mercy. The Dwarves in question had just finished masturbating to the Human Domestication Project, and realized they had the opportunity to do the funniest prank in the universe. Now they're goblins. There's supposedly a few left in asscracks of the world, but nobody cares about them, because they suck. Ironically enough, they're actually what High Elves style themselves as though, because they actually kept written records of what their ancestors were doing, so if any breed of elf can be considered "true" descendants of the original elves from which all the other ones descended, it would be them. Oops. >OrcsThere were once some nondescript elves. Malacath wanted followers. The end. No, really, there's fucking nothing about them before Malacath green'd them. Nowadays they live in weird racial enclaves, make good arms and armor, and try not to die out completely, and seem to mostly be succeeding. Not enough of them to ever amount to more than crime, though. They're best frenemies with Bretons which, you know what, is the smartest move any elf has ever made in the history of the setting. Well played. >Sea ElvesThese glup shittos are like a mixture of the worst qualities of modern dark elves, high elves, and the best qualities of wood elves, with a sprinkling of the worst features of argonians for good measure. These pale ass motherfuckers do nothing but eat bugs and die of swamp diseases, and are what I imagine the snow elves were like. Except they get a small amount of respect because they were motherfuckin elf pirates for a while and made the baby high elves piss and shit their pants for a bit, before the whole dying in the swamp you live in part.
>>740617201>also Greek Daimons are basically the Greek version of ElvesMaybe I'm thinking about a similar word, but I think that term is pretty elastic. I think Plato even used it to even refer to the gods of nations. So I'd imagine Zeus, etc.
>>740617432>Sinestral ElvesGlup shittos that are basically what the Wild Elves were, except for Redguards. And like everything Redguard, it's super unoriginal, but way cooler. The Redguards finished the fight though, and actually killed all of them before the continent sank.>AldmerThe original Elves. (Sinestral need not apply).The high elves call themselves this, much the same way a bunch of Germans once called themselves romans (the snow Italians are right there though). The high elves are also inbred hicks that don't know anything that was happening at the time, this is just some racial unity shit. All other elves are descended from them, Elflantis sank because of ill-defined reasons, causing the eld diaspora that the world never truly recovered from.
>>740616710We use the terms elves from a combined bunch of myths.We sort of used them interchangeably based on cultural things and changed their names, but now popular culture right now centered Elves around Scandinavian myths.
>>740616563She can do so basic workhouse even while rising, that was pretty basic mom stuff
>>740617362>Then go back to devil worshipExcept Daedra aren't the devil, they're more like the more anti-modern version of Greek GodsLorkhan is the closest person to the Devil and he is worshipped as Talos
I liked how Ocarina of time did the tolkein races. Kokiri were hobbits + elvesGorons are dwarfs but even more mountainousZora act like haughty elves but switching the elements make them their own thing. Moblins are just orcs but not a ton of depictions keep the pig elements.
>>740614995She canonically has a hairy bush
>>740612778Personally>rightAnd only right. Any other answer is wrong but I still respect you>>740612919I will beat you to within an inch and a half of your life
>>740615246>AND HUMAN... LE BAD ACTUALLY?nigger what? in what fucking fiction are all humans good? stupid nigger
>>740612340>>740613208But Santa Elves are the REAL ELVES. Why the fuck are kids so fucking stupid?! Do you not know anything about Elvish lore? If anything Christmas elves are the last bastion of True Elf because TALL Elves wiped them all out.
>>740617201>tieflings are elvesOh no no no no no no no you are not going to convince meI did not spent my entire life jerking off to all sorts of fantastical women only to find out they're all elves.
>>740616119I like Monster Hunter's approach, elves have been a thing since MH1 as Wyverians and they're a divergent evolution of most other wyverns, and still follow the wyvern bodyplan to an extent with four-fingered hands, digitigrade legs with paws for feet, and long shell-shaped ears. They still have ethnicities, personalities and cultures the same as humans and coexist alongside them easily, but wyverians live for like a thousand years and almost always become scholars since they're just bored otherwise. Also some of them grow to the size of a Deviljho and become capable of wrestling elder dragons in their advanced age for reasons the setting doesn't explain.There's Troverian dwarves that only showed up in one game, they're workaholics from the moment they're born, don't live as long as humans, and get depressed and lethargic if they're not able to continue working. Also Felynes that take kind of a kobold or other "menial worker race" role, especially as a Palico.
>>740613326>adding to the days until Christmas Yeah I get prison joke but I’m borderline autistic
>>740617362>>Dwarves>Elves who figured out how to open the console.Not true. Chimer were more aware of Apotheosis as a people than the Dwemer. People over meme the disappearance of the Dwemer when it was just the Robot disappearing the people present, not the Chimer as a species having intimate knowledge themselves (otherwise Yag Bag would be gone too)>>740617512Daimon meant anyone below the Gods but still Divine, and there were a good few of them messing with the Greeks.Fun fact: Daimons had "Angel Wings" before Jewish Angels did
I have a theory, if you will hear my out.>The uncanny valley is an evolutionary trait humanity has that scientists can't explain the cause of>Elves are the oldest, most consistent myth across most cultures >What if Elves are the cause of this trait because early humans encountered Elves and they were cannibalistic sub-humans that preferred the forests and that they got Grugged for the most part by early humanity
>>740612340The bitch on the left owes me a paizuri
>>740614995>look up source of artist>this is the only cute art, the rest is unfettered degeneracy of the tall elf girl being humiliated and dehumanized
>>740612340goblins are for marriage
>>740614307The only good warhammer elves are the ones the Skaven use after they take UlthwanGreat fucking porn
>>740612640All the fantasy that's older than Tolkien but has elves (just makes them fairies aa they were in actual myth) is kino sovl though
>>740617795>elves are cool mountain lizard people>dwarves are dwarvesevery goddamn time
>>740617961What? Real goblins are too ugly for you? Fuck off you insincere fraud. Fap to your green elves somewhere else.
>>740617887>They can >Ghosts are more widespread>That isn't how cultural memories work
>>740617606>>We use the terms elves from a combined bunch of myths.>We sort of used them interchangeably based on cultural things and changed their names, but now popular culture right now centered Elves around Scandinavian myths.Elves were always the "Alefen" or "Alben" sister to the term 'white' because Elves are ultra pale like Snow. Besides being 'higher realm spirits' its why "Vile" "Daimons" and "Fae" were different things for most of history. I think no other creature had its core trait being 'white and horny'.
>>740617961Give her bigger tits and wider hips
>>740618016Troverians don't really get explained or shown ever again, and they show up out of nowhere for the stretch of 4U where they're relevant, though they do live in an active volcano because it gives them a natural forge and workshopI personally give Troverians a W because they're not le hecking vikings or alcoholics, they dodged like 70% of typical dwarf traits
>>740618076I'm onto you, knife ear.
>>740615195ThisTolkein Elves can be broadly looked at as demigods. An idealized people that are still fundamentally people, so not perfect or weird spiritual beings like the wizards are.The various evil shitsmears have really taken a number on their society because they're "perfect", meaning they really fucking struggle at adapting to not being on top anymore, and are the first target anyone with a plan has. Unlike humans and hobbits which are a lot better at living in random ditches, and the forces of evil don't really see much point in harassing unless there's nothing better (elvish) to do. There is a lot more nuance to it if you want to get real high and read the deep lore, but, to simplify at least.
>>740612340Elves in Majesty were decadent, pleasure-loving douchebags.
>>740618117Also they all look like Final Fantasy 4's CidTheir Japanese name calls them the "Earth Dragon Tribe" so they might be another Wyverian offshoot, or even a completely separate type of humanoid wyvern
>>740618117there's the sea people too who for once aren't sea elves, they're sea humans.
>>740618016dwarves are already cool, they don't need to be reinvented
There's a 50s fantasy novel called The Broken Sword where the protagonist is stolen from his parents by Elves at birth, raised by the Elves, and shortly after hitting puberty he's described as having tons of sex with all the Elf women because apparently Elves have no concept of chastity and their men don't give a shit (they're too busy hunting mortals or whatever)
>>740617887Uncanny valley is very easily explained. People that look mostly like humans with subtle differences were historically diseased or dead. Both of which are things to instinctively avoid.
>>7406127465 shield dwarves to provide a frontline and defend against arrow attacks2 heal dwarves to heal the other dwarves and to keep elves alive as they're being interrogated1 hammer dwarf to bust down the doors of elf fortifications and homes1 crossbow dwarf to pick off scouts, skirmishers and fleeing elf women and children
>>740617426lol
>>740617887The variant that would become modern man is over 500,000 years old. During that time a bunch of megafauna and other variants of humans were around. Those guys must've literally been living in a fantasy RPG on a day-to-day basis.
>>740618346why didn't they shoot a movie out of this when they were first releasing the LOTR movie? sounds like perfect exploitative movie bootleg material
>>740612746>2 shield dwarfs >4 crossbow dwarfs >1 trap dwarf >1 heal dwarf >1 axe dwarf
>>740618067
>>74061274630 Song Dwarves.
>>740618351ThisAlso probably at least a bit of a happy accident since the human brain is wired pretty hard to identify and recognize human faces, so something that gets identified as a human face by that reflex, but doesn't actually look like one, triggers those "brain is sending two contradictory signals at once, I now feel somewhat upset by this" reactions that you start feeling towards people lying badly, or getting out of people with dementia.
>>740612778This but also the height of right.
>>740618490Because much like books, Tolkien had a monopoly on fantasy movies. Narnia, Eragon and even to some level HP were all competing with it and only HP lasted because it appealed more to kids. Producers don't take huge risks usually especially if they want to change the source material drastically. Its like how once Twilight came out the 2010's had a shitton of other young adult novels e.g. Hunger Games, Maze Runner, Divergent.
>>740612340elves deserve Slavery, Dwarves are BiS
>>740617982I read the lore and Skaven don't really care about sex and sees breeding female skaven as a tool to promote their own power. They're also personally disgusted by humans, elves, and other similar races.
>>740612746Song dwarf, 7 scream dwarves and a healer, just in case someone screams themselves hoarse.Them long-ears will never hear again
>>740614793
>>740612746All in on shield dwarves
>>740618785That's not what the porn I read saidWell, one of them did but it was funny 'cuz the Grey Seer they brought the elf princess to said "no way fags, lol" and made the slaves do it instead. Funny rats.
>>740612746Three rune dwarves and a trap dwarf to set up a bunch of traps so devastating the knife ears will abandon the fight before it starts.
>open thread>full of AI slop spamThe internet really is just a toilet now
>>740614310Never knew I needed a sexy retard elf until now
i have a whole series of retarded lore documents for my contrived fetish setting with unique orcs/gobbos that i keep thinking i should make into vidya but i never domaybe one day i'll get employed and sneak it into someone else's game
>>740618490Well, it's just a small part at the beginning when the author is going over his youth, really.>As he grew up, he had much attention from the supernally lovely elf women. Without gods, and with few children, the elves know not marriage, but their nature was such that their women had more wish of love and their men less than among humans. Thus Skafloc found himself in great favor, and many a good time did he have in the light nights of summer.He fucks "sea maidens" too.>Sometimes when he was in company with other warriors, the white sea maidens would rise from the foam, wringing out their long green hair as they came up on the beach, and then there would be a gay time. They were cool and wet to the touch and they smelled of the sea; afterward Skafloc would have a faint fishy taste on his lips, but he liked them well.Not much to make a movie out of.
>>740619120Anime has a lot of them
>>740613670m8 they're just discolored wood elves
>>740616710>in the original myth?Ljosalfar were spirits of light that play across the shining realm of Alfheimr. Nothing more about them is recorded.
>>740618004For me? It's the King of Elfland's Daughter and Machen's stories on the Little People.
>>740613326I like futa gag
>>740618650It's more that Jackson had enough people in his corner to avoid publishers utterly gutting the movies, while Rowling was savvy enough to make sure she had veto powers over retarded pitches like Spielberg's. The vast majority of fantasy adaptions are completely unrelated scripts using the IP as a skinsuit, which is why most of them suck. Amazingly, the key to a successful adaption is to actually try adapting the fucking thing. Even when the source material is terrible, the fans will show up if you actually give them what they want.
>>740613670it's not fair
>>740619683Hilarious thing is that if Rowling did lose all of her influence the movies would have been better since JK Rowling was a talentless hack.
>>740618785Skaven are a Nazi analogue so wartime rape is commonlace for them.
>>740618535She cute.. but she needs bigger booba
>>740612746Seven song dwarves and one hammer dwarf to play the drums.
Your complaints made sense like 30 years ago, but these days nobody does Tolkien tropes, they haven't for a long time. Even D&D diverged from Tolkien's works decades ago.OP is arguing against phantoms.
Noone does elves well, everyone wants to "deconstruct" them and they don't realize they are being hacks while doing it.
>>740620062Freiren anime was the most popular piece of fiction this year amongst niche audiences
>>740619753Yeah, I'm sure the first three movies condensed into one set in a high school would have been wonderful.Armond really shit the bed there. Even playing devil's advocate that was going too far.
>>740612340Mindbreaking left into the right.
>>740620107Already forgotten
>>740612340I was going to say that I'd like to see right feature as a party member in some world-changing, dramatic, high fantasy plot, but that's basically just LOTR again.
>>740619120Retard elves in general are good.Elves have a lot of potential that's locked up in them perpetually being aloof, better than you weirdos. Just, in most rpgs, really consider what a 300 year old, level 1/classless elf means. 300 years, and not a single skill gained that would constitute a level. This is even more alarming in the Elder Scrolls, because logically they should have gained athletics, speechcraft, barter, and unarmored skills just by casually existing.
>>740617887evolution isnt real
>>740620107That one didn't really do anything interesting with the concept though. It SAYS it does, but it doesn't, and just has Frieren be a weird goober magician that still works fine if they weren't an elf.They made Saitama (female), but then made the show itself more about Genos.
>>740620461Either God created the earth in the late 30s or it is, anon.The nylon eating bacteria had nothing to eat before then and would have starved to death.
>>740612340Clearly not when the traditional RPG setting has become such a gentrified mess of subversive deconstruction and self-aware comfort characters.
>>740620476>magician that still works fine if they weren't an elfno because a. it misses out on the ethnic aspect of her conflict and relations b. she has to be immortal for the story to work
>>740620476I liked having another ancient elven hero who's so old and forgotten by the sands of time that even Frieren barely knew of him.
>>740612746>10 scream dwarves>they just yell slurs at the elves until they die
>>740613815Who's gonna tell him?
>>740620303Makes sense desuAll the intelligent, well-adjusted elves are sitting in their airy bowers, quietly pondering the impermanence of the lily blossomMeanwhile, your average elf adventurer runs around moldy dungeons learning to hit things real good
>>740616303Technically Shadowrun?
>>740617906who?
>>740616303Final Fantasy 7, once you realize the Cetra are just elves.
>>740620162>Yeah, I'm sure the first three movies condensed into one set in a high school would have been wonderful.It would have had better worldbuilding.
>>740614793Kek
>>740614793based
>>740612746I'll take 30 beard points of nuke-dwarf.
>>740612746My 12 axe dwarves go fight the elves while I fuck the holy dwarf priestess
>>740614793kek
Did someone say...elves?
>>740616119>All JapaneseBased
>>740613020Me tooI clocked that easter bunny and santa were probably bullshit around the same time but I didn't say anything about it to my parents until wanted to let me know a few years later
>>740617961she looks jewish/italian no thanks
>>740619819I don't think so. I tried to write porn for them but the lore scholars I asked for reference said it wouldn't be canon friendly
>>740614793waow...
>>740616119>kirby>goodRed fucking flag right there m8
>>740615379>People forget the first named elf was ThranduilThey meet Elrond well before that.
>>7406127466 heal dwarves
>elf average life time of 100 to 3000 years>only master bow skills and few sword skillwhy stop at that, you have fucking millennia to master other things or technology and dont come with the nature bullshit when dwarf master the craft & smithing
>>740612340>Am i the only one sickyestheres a reason some things have staying powerbut you go right ahead and make your game with the orcs being cool city people and elves being crack heads, I'm sure it'll do great
>>740614510Sex is part of a healthy relationship and HOLY FUCK I LOVE BEING ON GOOD TERMS WITH ELVES
>>7406127465 Song Dwarves1 Trap Dwarf1 Heal Dwarf
>>740616710German elves were basically death gods or something.
>>740612340No, classics became classic for a reason.Kys, jew.
>>740614901They also steal babies.Or am I mixing that one up with the fae?
>>740614793I can only imagine her being cute and silly while those melons bounce around nonstopperfection
>>740612340>what if...le tropes were le subvertedBrilliant and original idea, reddit faggot!
>>740622412Shinigami-des?
>>740622585I think elf and faery are interchangeable, honestly.Anyway- ward them off by keeping an old horseshoe nailed above your house's doors.
>>740621993And then they dig too greedily and too deep and unleash the nameless horrors from the before times. Dwarves always do this, they are always retarded.
>>740622982but muh mithril...
I think elf boys and elf girls should marry and mate to make more pretty elves for me too appreciate
>>740621628>All Japanese>Undertale. ?
>>740623151Might as well be. Toby is a melonpan tier weeb.
>>740613020When I was either 4 or 5, I apparently had enough doubts about Santa that I whole heartedly talked to my parents about it in December. They assured me he was real, but then told me after that Christmas. I don't think I ever truly bought the Easter bunny or tooth fairy though.
>>740612746Classic shieldwall: 5 shield dwarfs with 5 crossbow dwarfs behind them.
>>740613020I was a young immigrant so while English is my first language, my parents weren't naturalized so I only got introduced to Santa as a TV show character. I didn't realize we were even supposed to believe in him until years after I'd rolled him up with Goku or the X-Men as fictional heroes...
>like nature>don't live out on a bunch of land where I can befriend some gnomes and other cruel-but-civil-if-you-leave-shit-alone things
>>740623151
>>740616710No such thing as "the original myth" since every place has their own ancient and contradictory tales of fae folk. But in general they stole a lot of children.
Warhammer is the only setting with good dwarves
>>740612340>elves>they're immortal, objectivelly good and can ascend to heaven when they "die"Tolkien elves are literally just angels, they have nothing to do with traditional elves which are more like invisible gnomes that like to fuck with peasants
>>740624079and modern elves don't fuck with peasants all the time?
>>740624558I do love japan for turning the boring tolkien elves into brown sperm demons
>>7406127461 shield1 heal1 song9 axeIf the tank dies, I blame the overworked healer.
Elves only have one use.
>>740624767This raises a question. While we can broadly agree that most modern elves are effectively reinterpretations of Tolkien's elves where do sexy elves come from? What was the first piece of media to take Tolkien's elves and make them sexy?
>>740613492I've recently spedread the whole series.Handdrawn stories look great and are good overall.The digital ones are where I started to skip pages because they gave me deviantart fetish comic feel.
Off topic but i fucking love wooden trainsVery cool
>>740625194I mean, Tolkien elves were already described as having otherworldly beauty
>>740612746Can the heal dwarf heal himself? If yes, 1 heal, 1 song, 2 shield, 5 crossbow. If not swap two crossbow for another heal dwarf.
>>74061274615 axe dwarfs
>>740620214Around these parts we call it the redpill
>>740616119>Fate>Duh what if we took these figures from history and mythology and fucked them up >KirbyIt's fun but it's also all complete fucking nonsense anon.>Legend of Zelda>Literally uses elf offshoots
>>740625370Sure, but Tolkien never said anything about their tits and supple thighs
>>740625194>>740625650they're not "reinterpretations", Tolkien elves added up to the elf lore like the other elves. modern elves are a synthesis.actually a setting where elves are the 1:1 tolkien elves is usually boring shit.D&D elves are the most frequently used and they're tolkien elves + fairy faggots. Then we have japanese elves who took the D&D elves and turned into whatever coomer demons they are.And it's the japanese elves that are pushing through to the next generation's common fantasy elf for media.I think there's some warhammer elf influence going on that is branching off the tolkien elves and affecting a bunch of other media.
>>740617204>>740617426AI to the rescue.The joke of anon is lost, though.
>>740625948Alright, now that you have strictly defined Tolkien's elves and contextualised them alongside later depictions, answer the fucking question and tell me which elves were the first to be depicted with fat tits
>>740626306I cannot for the love of my life find big tit elf before Pirotess, so I'm blaming big tit elves on her.though Pirotess is basically more of a dark skinned beauty design than an elf but she definitely defined japanese dark elves.
>>740612687Japs make the best western fantasy designs and picrel is the best of the best.
>>740612687Bro, you got isekai'd. You woke up after that because the royals killed you
>>740625194>>740626306I dunno if it's the strict first but 1991 is when D&D added Eilistraee the nudist elf goddess to the lore.
>>740626982well she is nude and hot but...she's not big breasted.
>>740614793Skyla if she white
>>740612778That’s just Seras
>>740612340Any more of the one on the right?
>>740626519>>7406269821990 and 1991 seem remarkably recent, surely there are older examples? If not then it's surprising how recent the phenomenon is.>>740627046I'd say that depiction is true to the idea of 'sexy elf'
>>740624079Tolkien elves are based on Norse elves who are a race of higher beings vaugely alike the gods, not the Germanic elves who are whimsical fairies.
>>740627229Please refrain from posting pictures of my wife online
>>740627229Ze british police girl mit ze big boobies?
>>740612340If you want something else call it something else you numpty. No one thinks your writing's deep for calling apples oranges.
>>740614498what do you mean
>>740615061How could you have liked it if it was full of Woke™ DEI®? There's like 3 Strong Women© right on the cover. Did it brainwash you into being some kind of abhorrent abomination?
>>740613492I read goosebumps, though I read them like 10 years after they came out - absolute KINO
>>740622982Manlings will really say this then praise dwarfen crafts using metals they've never heard of
>>740612746I feel like terrain should be worth beard points too, with underground being worth 25 because it's an easy gimme for the dwarves
>>740625194>where do sexy elves come fromThe Norse themselves?
>>740612340AI again, it wasn't so good but meh.
>>740614310>Fufufufu, he wants an iPad? Silly monkey, this wooden train is a far superior gift~
>>740614310Both are goodBut dfc short girl making toys
>>740617961she doesn't move right for a goblin. this is why ai will never be peak.
>>740612340tolkien dwarves were unironically jews
>>740615198Heat miser's song is still better than snow miser'sI will fight everyone on this continental plane
>>740628860Shut the FUCK up. You don't give a SHIT about goblins
>>740629091>>740615198im the sus miser
>>740614793I love her.
>>740613326>sleigher
>>740612340I guess this is better, with Grok.
>>740612340>and can commune with godsYeah, but not capital G God. Have fun in Halls of Mandos, we're going to hang out with Eru. Peace!
>ferrets, rats, and other vermin races are all fundamentally, universally evil by birth and that they are capable of no good unless it results in their death>mice, badgers, hares, etc. are all good by birthWhat did Brian Jacques mean by this?
>>740629429Now I want to fuck them both MORE
>>740629429Right is peakSmug but smallLeft is hot, tall airhead
>>740617079Yeah, the home of the dwarves as I recall is >Svartaelfheim>Black/dark Elves homelandbut all of the Norse dwarvish craftsmen don't look like Elves (or even what we think of Dark Elves today) but rather more like Dwarves regardless. Likewise, the icelandic and other nordic >hiddenfolkare described as "elves" but are really closer to the concept of gnomes and fae - they're small, can be good natured but are also tricksters and if you piss them off even unintentionally like by stomping on a toadstool or fucking around in the forest, they'll mess with you.
>>740617961If you're gonna do "sexy goblins", then at least have the decency to give them more distinctly non-human features. Large ears, sharp teeth, inhuman eyes, shorter than 4'3" - bare minimum. Maybe drop a finger on each hand and fuck with their proportions and skeletal structure. At least then you're not just making a human, but green.
>>740629576>ferrets Mustelids are literally pest control. Stoats kill mice and rats, they are far from vermin. >RatsHonestly I dont hate rats. I hate that colonials were too lazy and stupid to check their supplies and brought rats to the Americas, fucking the ecosystem up its ass. Rats, or at least the variant people are familiar with, are native to Europe and Asia, had they stayed there it would’ve been fine.
Unfortunately Tolkien just wrote the truth. It's a believable world because it's so close to reality. It starts to fall apart when you read the more detailed Silmarillion accounts, and his own attitudes towards these books reflects that fact. What he wrote in the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings was closer to real, true history than perhaps you would be comfortable with hearing The reason it endures is because the truth endures, even a fantastical truth. That is all.
>>740616449because you were born in 2003 and your knowledge of Jewish history begins and ends with memes from Stormfront. historically Jews were associated with jobs like shoemaking, toymaking, watchmaking, laundering/weaving of textiles, and other fiddly indoors crafts because they weren't allowed to own property or farmland so fixing and making things was the only thing they could do. what do you think a 'merchant' is? it's someone who sells goods and services rather than toils fields. Moneylending was something only rich Jews could afford to do, most of them were tinkerers.
>>740612640>someone tries to do nontolkien tropesI once did egyptian elves, greek city states dwarves and gaul/germanic orcs in my low effort tabletop campain. It turned out pretty decent, especially dwarves. My favourite part was that it turned out that these manlets make great sailors or hoplites.
>>740614846aiieeee santa go away! we already made quota for this year!
>>740612340>Lizardfolk are sex gods and goddesses
>>740630331imagine believing this
>>740612340is there porn of the one on the right
>>740614846How is Trickcal so fucking good
>>740630432>I don't know what "merchant" meansimagine thinking jews sat around staring at the sky for a thousand years. where did they get the money to buy food and pay rent? jew nose *shrug*
>>740627839Back in your cave, stunty, and take that shitty mushroom swill you call beer with you.
>>740629219hit a nerve, didn't I? your soulless simulacrums will NEVER be real goblins
>>740613208I like to headcanon that christmas elves are just snow halflings that call themselves elves because a traveling elf praised some local woodworking
>>740630708Already been posted, but still cute
>>7406127464 Crossbow Dwarves2 Shield Dwarves2 Hammer Dwarves1 Scream Dwarf1 Heal Dwarf
>>740612746Don’t these guys have bearded females with bigger cocks than the males like spotted hyenas?
>>740612340No, because Tolkien's depiction of such creatures are based on real myths and legends and work wonderfully with European fantasy.
>>740613815Is it better or worse that the blacks are orcs/ogres thing started only a few years ago?
>>740630708yuri is cringe but this drawing is cute
>>740631474You definitely seethe at dark elves being a thing.
>>740630572merchant literally just comes from mecari which is latin for the act of trading you fucking goose
>>7406127463 holy dwarfs and 1 heal dwarf to watch in the corner.
>>740612746Why are there two trap dwarves?
>>740612746Song Dwarf, Heal Dwarf, and 7 Shield Dwarves.
>>740614846That was a fluke and Earth will be destroyed the moment we get out of this shithole.
>>740613208that's trickcal
>>740612340>trains no one asked forBitch, a few nights ago I dreamt of a chick in long blonde pigtails in a train conductors outfit strutting to a song that kind of sounded like trains. I could not make out the lyrics.she was also wearing a bandito mask, I dont understand that part.It was the best dream I had in my entire life.
>>740629091Someone shoot this guy
>>7406127467 song dwarves1 scream dwarfI'd rather start a rock band and get shit faced than spend the day breathing near knife ears.
>>740632323Hey! Get back to making Timmy his train knife-ear.
>>740627536directionbrained begonethis is a whimsical thread
>>740617704Tall Elves are just humans
I kinda like when the main race of a game just has pointy ears but they're not called elves, it's just normal. Like in Jak or Zelda.
>>740615195Even by the time of LOTR a portion of the common elves are still egotistical. Frodo, Sam and Pippen run into a group and ask to travel with them for protection and their response was basically "lol, no, hobbits aren't worth our time." The group leader only changes his mind when he finds out a wraith is tailing them.
>>740621030https://x.com/krusha64612042
>>740621030https://rule34.xxx/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=krusha64612042
>>740627447I like that reference
>>740613815Post hand. If your skin isn't light enough to get a sunburn from a fluorescent light, you don't belong on the internet with humans.
>>740629091Objectively wrong. Ten points from Gryffindor.
>>740613492Are they like High, Wood, or Dark Elves?
>>740612687That was your original life. You've just been isekaid here, welcome.
>>740627357>Germanic>whimsical folkloreNot a combo I expected
>>740612724>The dwarvish language was modelled to be semitic, so Tolkien dwarves are jews/arabsThat explains the fixation on gold
>>740620214Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?
>>740613492I wanna say I read a few pages in EpicDon't remember anything about it other than it kinda reminded me of Wizards, though
>>740634187>he thinks the internet is only for a certain demographicKek
>>740613815>Waaaaaaaah White culture is by Whites, for Whites, about WhitesAw man that sucks so much for you, bye.
>>740612340Okay, but where are the defeated and colonized high elves that were reduced to sweatshop workers in the human capitalist global economy?
>>740613815This is why I jerk off to elf corruption porn, it fills in the gap for my race extinction fetish.
>>740636375https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgVSrlbqRUU
>>740636280American whites don't have culture doe.
>>740636375>>740613815If elves are a metaphor for white people, then what does it mean when you make porn for (white) human males conquering them?
>>740615156She's infertile.
>>740634509Wood. Probably the woodsiest wood elfs.
>>740614901none of this is remotely true. You're describing fey, which are a totally different thing.Mythological elves are humans who ascended to godhood after their death
>>740636548Humans are spiritually white men, elves are spiritually white women.
>>740636570not after I'm done with her
>>740636575Even woodier than Magic the Gathering elves? Because that would be a lotta wood!
>>740613673Cute
>>740617696Humanity being the epitome of every alignment is peak writing, and no one will change my mind on that.The best at being goodthe best at being evil the best at being neutral.human superiority
Any games where elves are actually just long lived autstic retards with no redeeming qualities?
>>740636491They have more culture than American nigs ever will kek
>>740636603Both are dominated by blacks so it doesn't matter.
>>740636835Literally the past 40 years of Americana has been shaped by non-caucasians which caucasians then try to ape or adopt to fit in and be cool because of racial insecurities.
>>740636789Elder Scrolls
>>740636237yep, subhuman confirmed >>740636851yawn
>>740636375For me, it's getting roped into helping a group of eco-terrorist wood elf girls blow up factories and shit (not a hippie, they're just too cute to say no to)
>>740637026>t. jerks off to cuck porn Enjoy watching as always champ. :thumbsupemoji:
>>740612746The correct answer is 15 axe dwarfs
Elves should stop tempting human men with those damn wigglers
>>740637038For me, it's helping a bunch of well-integrated santa's elf girls fighting for an empire in a new age of expansion.
>>740615198Adorable
>>740637237>santa's elf girls arriving at work excited to work on the new batch of toys only for santa to announce he's replacing them with robots
