HARRYYY POTTER!!ARE YOU PLAYING VIDEO GAMES WITH MODS THAT TURN DRACO INTO A CHICK!?THIS CANNOT STAND!-100000 POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!!!
I LEARNED IT FROM YOU, HEADMASTER
>Gandalf looks at the screen
Speccy bowl-haircut fuck-small-dick, eat-more-wanger.
>>748541309
>>748541232why is slytherin losing points here
>>748541432>you chubby coon!Raimi's Harry Potter was a bit much
>>748541456-100000000000 MORE POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!
>>748541456Because OP thinks it's funny to deride J.K Rowling by getting even the most basic and universally understood components of Wizarding World mythology wrong.
>>748541504Drag Me To Hogwarts
>>748541456raped bitches don't get points
I'm actually going to be, finally, doing a full, no-strings-attached readthrough of the Potter series soon. I liked Harry in the 2000s, but was always more into the Camp Half-Blood kids and especially Artemis because their worlds and stories just felt more fun and creative to me. I'm looking forward to finally seeing what the biggest middle-grade fandom of all time was so freaked out about back in the day, but what do (You) like about it?
>>748541707>but what do (You) like about it?Honestly I don't knowI read them all more than once but looking back I can't tell you why
>>748541309Dumbledore only installs futa mods.
>>748541707I've probably gone through most Harry Potter media than the actual books. And I'm a reader.
Am I only the one who believes that Tom Riddle did absolutely nothing wrong?
>>748541232We know, Headmaster. We know you lure in vulnerable Slytherin girls in here with the promise of points so long as they follow your every command.We know you put them through their paces, each and every one getting a task so perfectly out of their comfort zone that you must have used a boggart to scour her deepest fears.And we know that every time, after every horrific endeavor those girls endured, damning their dignity for the sake of their house, you took points from Slytherin due to "excessive whoring".We know, and we want in, Headmaster.
>>748541456Are you questioning the Headmaster? Sounds like more minus points.
>>748541873I haven't seen this shit since I was a kid. Is Tom Riddle just volemort when he was younger? Is it a completely different person? The whole movie felt like them randomly having to fight some jobber because they forgot about voldemort for a year.
Scared stiff, Potter?
yup... the dysphoria is back!
>>748541232>>748541443this is just whitney from degrees of lewdity
>>748541873I don't think even you believe that, you just want to seem interesting to anonymous strangers for having an objectively wrong opinion.
>>748541976oops forgot the image
>>748541443Diana really was best girl.
>>748541976I already made a petrificus totalus shitpost earlier today, stop stealing my joke. But seriously imagine being conscious but unable to do anything as a cute witch uses you as a sex toy
>>748541973Tom Riddle is his real name, it's the same guy
>>748542057Why is he called voldemort then? Why didn't they just call him tom? If saying voldemort is some spell that allows him to track you or something then why not just refer to him as tom in casual discussions?
>>748541232said dumbledore calmly
u dun it nao 'arry porrer
Someone post the polyjuice one.
>>748542126Most people don't know his real name, he exists as a boogeyman with his spooky stage name for them instead of being a human with parents and such
>>748542126Because having a main villain whose name can be anagramized from I Am Lord Voldemort into Tom Marvolo Riddle is cool as fuck in 1999.
>>748541443>>748542014>Draco, your pussy made me cum, -10,000,000 points from Slytherin.
>>748541504>chinkyyyyy
>>748541456Because the rules are made up and the points don't matter.>>748541530Rowling herself has said she made the rules stupid for fun.
>>748542346You m*dblood
>>748542126same reason Fast and Furious movie posters don't say "starring Mark Sinclair"nobody would know who the fuck who mean
>>748542258Did people think he was some sort of magical creature? It would've been cool if the villain was a sapient dragon or a gobbo like in the legacy game
>>748541456Because fuck Slytherin.
why does slytherin have the best girls
>>748541707I feel like the HP books are decent for creating a magical (pun not intended) world you can immerse yourself in and relate to the characters but when I look back on reading them I realize that the books have so many plot holes.
>>748541232HARRRY POTTTTERRRRR!!!!!DID YOU JUST FUCKING POST THIS THREAD ON R/4CHANNNNNN????????!!!!!!!!!-1000000000000000 POINTS FROM SPLIFFENDOR!!!!!!!!
>>748541707Frankly they were just a way to self insert and imagine a life in a magical collgue. that isn't to say Harry is a bad protag but the pull was more "woah magic how cool that would be in real life" than the rest.The movies really elevated it all far more, specially the "make movies as the actors age" thing.
>>748542442He kinda is, I guessHe's like a weird ghoul man with 50 stocked 1-ups that can possess the back of people's head and be his own pet snake and stuff so I would call him a creature of sorts
>>748542126or why doesnt everyone just say voldemort anyway so he gets overwhelmed by all the signals coming in from everywhere
>>748542491Because young witches should be a little cheeky.
>>748542491They had to change Pansy's actress because she mogged Hermione too hard
>>748541232HARRRRYYYYY POTTTTTERRRRRR!!!!!!DID YOU JUST WATCH ADOLESENCE AND LOOK UP THE RACE OF THE KID AND THOUGHT THAT WAS....erm.....INTERESTING THAT THEY CHANGED IT!?!?!?! AND YOU LEFT A REVIEW OF THE SHOW WITH A QUOTE SAYING "BLACK IS EVERYWHERE"?!?!? -6 MILLION FUNNY NUMBER POINTS!!!!!!!!!!
>>748542582Harry is a dogshit protagonist and has no interests besides a sport.
>>748542491Because they all hate filthy race-mixing mutts
>>748542491baffling that this game had romance but hogwarts legacy didnt...
>>748541232>*taps wine glass loudly enough to get the attention of a whole hall of children*why was he so aggressive?
>>748542126The only people who know Voldemorts name were his inner circle. And referring to him as Tom would get you killed. Hogwarts is a big school and you arent bound to know everyones name. Dumbledore knows everyones names because he has a good memory, more importantly hes known Voldemort since he was a child.
Ginny was a mistake.
>>748542742he's a gothic bad boy with dark powers, that's why
>>748542741Kind of lame they just made you a senior who just happened to transfer to Hogwarts that year. They should have done a Fable and had you go through a few years with some time skips sprinkled in.
For me it's hufflepuff girls.
>>748541707I don't give a shit about PJO outside of thinking annabeth is hot
>>748541707They're a fun adventure story with a basic but well-done message that children of all ages can enjoy (shut the fuck up about the technicalities). There's definitely bookk and book series that are better, I put A Series of Unfortunate Events at the top because I'm a pretentious /lit/fag who actually gets half the jokes, but Harry Potter is so famous because it has the widest appeal and you don't really need anything going in to enjoy it.
>>748542834imagine you're a magician but you get sent to the filler house for the unremarkables of the school
>>748541443
>>748542834You just know she has a forest down there
>>748542925she cares for it like a plant
I would NEVER bang a genderbent Draco but if someone just popped a little nametag that said Daphne on it then I think they would trick me
>>748541443>>748542014I cant believe it took me 20 years to understand why femoids love draco malfoy
>>748542995fem Draco tricking (You) into sex
>>748542045>best girl>gay for 2 int
>>748543017
i read malfoid and thought that was the funniest shit
>>748541443RAPE CORRECTIONAPECORRECTION
>>748542834I want to huff her puff
>>748543017Because they're the opposite sex? That's the only thing that's changed here to make you understand so did that fact elude you for decades?
>>748543191Many people lack a theory of mind for the opposite sex, women included
>>748541443Pantyhose and formal attire turn me on more than skimpy clothing. Is something wrong with me?
>>748542126It's canonically like calling a /pol/ user Pajeet, only this time it's not online and he has a gun.
>>748542902It's probably not all bad. Less house rivalries.Plus there were still chads like Cedric so it wasn't all unremarkable.
>>748543264Well I've never met you but... Yes.
>>748541707Having reread it myself recently, my biggest thought throughout the entire reread was: "How the fuck does this dumbass kid get told he is a wizard and go to wizard school, finally allowing him to escape the misery of his existing life and not put ANY fucking effort into learning to be a fucking wizard?" This dumbfuck manages to get through wizard school having learned like 5 spells, only one of which is even considered to be a notably difficult spell (which he literally had to receive dedicated special tutoring for, and seemingly everybody else he knows was able to pick it up fairly easily afterwards)If I learned I was a fucking wizard I'd be moving like Hermione and Snape put together and literally doing nothing but practicing magic and inventing cool new spells. Meanwhile Harry over here is dedicated to being the most C- student imaginable. It is like Rowling was trying to project the thoughts of normal kids going to normal school onto him except he is going to FUCKING WIZARD SCHOOL TO LEARN FUCKING MAGIC so it makes no fucking sense why he would treat it with such mundane dispassion. He's such a fucking shit wizard that he only ends up succeeding due to voldy accidentally violating arbitrary nonsense rules like using a wand that just happens to be magically linked to harry (twice, in different ways).
>>748541443>>748542014Goddamn it.
>>748542410dear lord. This picture made me understand it. Yes,,, is see it now
>>748543041Shounen protag buff, it can't be helped.
>>748543331Most wizards/witches are mediocre like Harry is or average. But he has both plot armor, a huge support group, bravery and loyalty.
Malfoy x Hermione shippers are still completely fucked in the head.
>>748543436put me in hogwarts and I'd obliterate all those fuckin dweebs then fuck hermione
>>748543041Not yuri, retard.
>>748543079I am very proud of myself for never deriding or making fun of women for loving the Twilight series back when it was going. I read the first book and enjoyed it, but that's probably just because I have a very weird relationship with vampires, being a hypnofag.
>>748542925a magical forest though. with ents and shit
>>748541456>Slytherin.>Gaining points.
>>748542410Now make Harry a girl too
>>748542834I'd Huffle her Puff so hard my nickname would be Tom Diddle
>>748543525We make fun of it because the writing sounds retarded and sparkling vampires are shit.
>>748543545God damnit now I have the image in my head of her getting it on with ents and then 9 months later a doctor has to pull a crying mandrake out of her
>>748543567keep up with the threads anon that was yesterday
>>748543567We have enough toxic yuri.
>>748542902>house for nerds and teacher's pets>house for evil kids that always get collectively punished for being evil and gets you automatic connections with an evil racist wizard gang >get put in the house for tryhard jocks and government employment>get put in the house of normal people, farmers and successful small business ownersHufflepuff really isn't so bad.
>>748543041>2 int
>>748543618>unlucky fuck on call immediately goes into a coma
>>748542410>violate>"your word against mine, I'll say you were 100% down for it if you tell anyone">keep it in your back pocket any time they start getting uppity and smug>or any time you're bored and need a warm hole to put it inThe potential just left untapped.
>>748542925>redhead bush
>>748543586Can you please shut the hell up?
>>748541873He did lots of things wrong, it's just that most of the things the books try to claim he did wrong are actually the things he did right
>>748541443Would Harry Potter be a better story if all the important characters were girls?
>>748542925
>>748541707It has a 10/10 setting and then literally every single other thing about it is terrible. Fine by kids books standards though.
>>748543735I haven't fapped so I'm unable to answer honestly.
>>748543331Harry, contrary to how he might look, is basically a stereotypical meathead jock. He excels at anything physical (broom riding, defense against the dark arts) but can't focus on anything that's purely study.
>>748543735No story would ever be better for thatIt would be better porn, sure
harry potter is a brilliant example of how an armed society is a polite society and liberals HATE being reminded of this also would have been a way better story if harry had gotten sorted into slytherin
ZAP MOTHERFUCKER
>>748541443The issues with this is that Draco wasn't just a lil cheeky git he was insecure and living in the shadow of his criminal dad to whom he wasn't adequately measuring up which is why he builled people instead of just doing something cool, female on male attention dynamics would be different and a girl that's slightly a loser is acceptable and still fuckable, a man that's beheld by his inadequacies is just out of luck. But then again, I'm not a woman. Maybe all you need is to just have a rich dad and look decent.
>>748543763I can't believe the time machine bit made it into the books, like a plot black hole
>>748542126>Why is he called voldemort then?"I am Lord Voldemort" is an anagram of his full name, Tom Marvelo Riddle. It's right there in his diary, which Harry finds.
>>748543460You could say the same about Snape worshippers
>>748542902If Hufflepuff students had the temperament and desire to be sorted in other houses, then they would be, but they like the vibes and dorms better so they're cool with it.
>>748543331>>748543436>>748543768i remember that at the start of one of the books they discuss their report cards, and i actually remember Harry's grades being pretty good overall, with just a couple holes in, i think, potions (because snape) and divination(?).Ron was the one with barely-passing grades and obviously Hermione was straight A's
For me it's Luna
>>748543735>Fred and George but they're bratty mesugakis
>>748543887>but they like the vibes and dorms better so they're cool with itbut the only good dorms are gryffindor?
>>748543797Slytherin has too much of a stick up its ass to write fun scenes despite plenty troublemakers.
>>748543639We need yuri where witches remove each other's giant hats.
>>748543942nah I'm sure there's some good cunts in there, they'll just be shitheads to outsiders
>>748543264No, your taste is well adjusted, my chap.
>>748543924...but GR15
>>748543735No that would be horrible. Cedric being a girl for example would take away from the fact that he gives off proper MC energy.
>>748542410>>748542014>>748541443I think she will look better with paler skin.
>>748542410>slutherin
>>748543964We need yuri where they stay on no matter the intensity.
>>748543860I thought that was one of those "plot holes" that people only think exists because they don't know the lore. Weren't the time turners unable to actually change past events, and instead created closed loops? If anyone used one of them then everything they did in the past would have already happened.
>>748543938Hufflepuff dorms have pleasing earth tones and plants everywhere, it's a much more calming vibe.
Putas harry putas
>>748543735I genderswapped every male character in BG3 and it made the story marginally better. I could even tolerate Wyll and her dumbass story this time
How do young witches deal with menstruation? Does the Wizarding World mass produces Maxi pads?
>>748544290Probably some sort of potion.
me and my hufflepuff bwos talking about how we're going to be wizard neets after we graduate
>>748544194they're limited by a curse put on them by the ministry of magic.the Malfoys have forbidden prototype turner that aren't cursed, but they only use them to steal historical treasures. later they use one to bring back dumbledore.
>>748544290They could just buy muggle ones, I really doubt magical period blood is too powerful for them
>>748541456>"HAIL GRYFFINDOR. HAIL GODRIC. TOTAL SNAKE DEATH" -Dumbledore, saying softey
>>748543331you should read Mother of Learning
>>748544308Whoa, so Severus Snape used his free time to brew birth control for his female students? He was a good friend.
>>748544308That would be sensible, but knowing the harry potter world they probably just bleed all over the place and magic it away.
>>748544358>later they use one to bring back dumbledorewhat
>>748543735>betterDebatable, but it would change all the framing. Snape would go from a creepy angry incel type of teacher, into a bitter woman that bullies the daughter of the woman who stole her childhood crush.
>>748544194perhaps the thing came bundled with a bunch of rules I don't remember but it still could have been used to solve pretty much every mystery in hogwarts. the marauders map is also ludicrously overpowered for something that was apparently cooked up as a prank by two schoolboys
>>748544290aqua eructo into their pussy or something
Menstrual blood is an important witchcraft ingredient
>>748544365>They could just buy muggle onesI thought wizards and witches didn't had access to muggle objects, or was this just a thing from the films?
>>748541232>”Harry Potter” Dumbledore read>a terrible silence rang through the great hall. It seemed a great wind was blowing through the students, with rippling patterns disturbing the lines of tables. Dumbledore stood stock still, the flames of the Goblet casting his face in an eerie light.>”Harry.... Potter” he said again, his voice lowering into a deadly hiss>Dumbledore’s eyes slowly rose to lock on to Harry, and to all those who could bear to meet that terrible gaze, they seemed to be raging with an unholy flame>”HARRY POTTER!!!!!!” He bellowed, and with that tranquil battle cry, the ancient warlock’s legs stretched, sending him leaping over the high table and landing among the slytherins, his eyes locked on the presumptuous gryffindor the whole while>screams erupted as his feet crushed several unfortunate first years into unpleasant murals, but the desperate attempts of the students to escape only fed the serene bloodlust that had overcome their headmaster>dumbledore’s wand flashed and several students barring his way to the gryffindor table were instantly vaporised, but not all were so lucky.>Malfoy, who had accidentally blundered into the headmaster’s path, had naught but the beatific spittle coming from dumbledore’s mouth to warn him before the aged sorcerer lower jaw unhinged, and he was swallowed whole
Wasnt there already a blond slytherine chick in one of the mobile games? I remember it being spammed a lot here.
>>748544290they teleport the blood into another young witch's knickers as a prank
>Slytherin's dorm is a sewerThey must reek something horrid.
>>748542410>Does Potter rape a Slytherin girl? >+10 million points to Gryffindor.
>>748544473>ignoring the dismembered students and the thrashing in his distended throat, Dumbledore stormed up to the gryffindor table. The Lions, contrasting the petrified ravenclaws and terrified slytherins, were stoically accepting their fate. Presumably Hufflepuff was doing something too>dumbledore’s charge slowed as he approached his target>blood leaked out of his mouth and down his beard, marring his beautiful robes, grotesquely highlighting his very obvious erection and quite ruining the remaining Bouillabaisse in hermione’s bowl>his target finally in sight, The Headmaster finally allowed himself to speak again> “DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?!?!” He said calmly>preparing himself for death, and wiping bits gore and of blonde hair from his face, Harry managed to squeak out a denial>briefly swallowing to foil Draco’s latest bid for freedom, Dumbledore followed up by softly demanding “DID YOU ASK AN OLDER STUDENT TO PUT YOUR NAME IN FOR YOU?!”>”no!” Harry said, determined to end this hell, one way or another>Dumbledore’s gaze didn’t waver, and for a long minute Harry thought his time was up>finally Dumbledore broke his gaze, and, in a tone of disgust, muttered “join the champions, Harry. Fifty points from slytherin”
>>748544194They state for a fact retards have already removed themselves from history.
>>748544475Cassandra Vole
>>748544386i dont think the students of hogwarts liked snape very much, specifically because he is black
>>748544465no they live in 2 seperate societies essentially. Which is kinda dumb they can have their cake and eat it too, just put on some jeans and go grocery shopping at tesco and then return to your magic world it's like muggels will know about you being a wizard they can easily blend in
>>748544465If they want to they do have access to muggle stuff, the issues are that the majority of magical people look down on muggles like they're some sort of funny animal and so would never lower themselves to use anything made by them, the other issue for witches in Hogwarts is that the school is somewhere in the middle of fucking nowhere with only the wizarding town of Hogsmeade nearby, where there obviously isn't a Tesco or the like.
>Hairy Pooter
>>748544548he should've become a dark arts teacher instead
Sex with Luna Lovegood.
>>748541232>HARRY, HARRY, DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME ON THE PATREON PLEDGE THANKS WALL OF THAT DAZ3D WEG??!!?
>>748544653>There's just SOMETHING about 'im, and I DON'T like his HAIR
>>748544653defense against the dark arts is actually a rape prevention course
>>748542126Because nobody would take him seriously if his evil lord name was tom.
>>748544672Stop bragging, Neville.
>>748542410>implying harry would do the rapingENTER
>Quidditch game>Dumbledore smiles>”Oh well done, Slytherin! You caught the ball! SLYTHERIN WINS THE COMPETITION!”>The audience erupted into cheers and claps. Harry, Ron, and Hermione looked dejectedly at the ground.>Harry looked up and saw Dumbledore continue to smile.>“Oh, hold on to that ball a little longer, would you Draco?”>The ball suddenly exploded, ripping Draco’s hand apart. Dumbledore laughed maniacally as he stretched his legs around the field and flung avada kevadras at each member of Slytherin. Meanwhile, Draco screamed in pain, clutching his mangled arm.>Draco lost balance and fell off of his broom.>He looked up at Dumbledore, who was standing over his body brandishing a 9 MM pistol obtained at Hogwart’s Armory>“1 hollow point to Slytherin,” Dumbledore said calmly. He pulled the trigger.
>>748544676Lust Academy?...noooo...
>>748544686it's more about how to not get murdered by the evil wizard cult while trying to avoid using their evil spells.Didn't matter in the final fight eveyone was throwing the death curse left and right anyway
>>748541443Female Draco would not have been enough to save one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.>a-at least the books were good though"No!"The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
>>748541309WHERE IS YOUR FEMBOY DRACO GETTING RAILED BY AN ENTIRE DORM OF HUNG HUFFLEPUFF FUTAS THENYOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED ME UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY, YOUNG MANBUT I SWEAR ON GODRIC'S GOOD NAME I -WILL- MAKE YOU LEARN THIS TIME AROUND>Dumbledore stretched his penis, calmlyNEXUS MODUSTHERE WE GOSEVERUS, MAKE SURE YOUNG POTTER HERE GETS ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, I DON'T CARE IF HE GETS PUDENDAL NEURALGIA IN THE PROCESSI'M OFF TO GIVE DICKS TO ALL THE RAVENCLAW GIRLS NOW
>>748544687Maybe not, but Riddle Wizard would be a cool title.
>>748544775>I'M OFF TO GIVE DICKS TO ALL THE RAVENCLAW GIRLS NOWTruly the greatest wizard of our time.
>>748541707You now remember the divine gay conversion therapy because Riordan wanted to retcon a character who already had a boyfriend.
>>748543929>bratty mesugakis
>>748544465No they have their own completely separate society with their own "technology", they don't even know what electricity is. The only ones who understand and sometimes even use our technology are those who live in muggle societies more then their own.
>>748544750no the good guys were not doing specifically the death curse, but they were doing curses that caused slow and extremely painful death like what Ron's mom does to belatrix. Remember that Harry Potter is written by a homeless british women. so anything like a gun (avada cadabra) is far more scary to her than brutally shanking someone to death
>sexualizing fictional 15 year old girlsWhy are europeans like this?
I can fix her.
'arry poh'ur its yer 35th yeer 'ah 'ogwarts now and you aint never been to a dance or cha'ed up a lady profesur. yer a wizard now 'arry.
>>748544858Heterosexuality.
Does anyone has the "Gas Chamber of Secrets" copypasta?
>>748544791what about Diddle Wizard
>>748542834Her fucking eyes.
>>748543525Don't kid yourself, the devil in the details was very important.Edward was such a creepy bastard that I think Meyer missed her calling as a thriller writer
>>748544926>names have power, 'arry... and that one's a powerful nane
>>748544926STOP calling him The Marvolous Diddler you have to call me Lord Voldemort
>>748544865Why are all of Helena Bonham Carter's roles "Morbid Bitch"?
>>748544894That one about Truth Mirror was better.
>>748544865Weren't all the death eaters basically inbred?
>>748544849That doesn't make any sense. A ton of them are mudbloods and half bloods, what would Voldemort even be fighting for if there's already no connection between mugglers and the wizarding world?
>avada kedavra is the most deadliest of curses! Only one person has ever survived it!>dumbledore fighting voldemort>literally just conjures objects to put between himself and voldemort>it works>the secret to beating the killing curse was literally just a fucking shield this whole time>nobody ever bothers trying it again for some reasonAre wizards literally all retarded?
>>748544853But I mean if you're already at war like in the battle of hogwards you can just say fuck the rules and use avada cadabra. They're trying to kill you so I say go further than just that, how about a spell that makes a fireball? Also if Ron's mom knows how to throw spells without saying them out loud why didn't anybody else use that before her? I'm sure dumbledore, the most powerful mage around would know that trick
>>748544997Her husband had a typethat type was Johnny Depp
>>748544997Tim Burton had a very specific fetish
>>748544858It is legal outside of Ireland, The UK, Spain, The Low Countries, Switzerland, Kosovo, Norway, Finland, Latvia, Lithuania, Belarus, Moldova, Ukraine and Russia.
>>748545026"No!"
EY 'ARRY, I JUST GOT DONE WANKING IT TO PAVARTI AND LAVANDER BROWN, BLOODY BRILIANT
>>748545026Everybody knows you can block it, but try doing that constantly while they are non stop firing at you.
>>748545039rowling simply didnt care enough
>>748545026Voldemort was the one to conjure a shield, and that was to block a non lethal spell. He even calls him out for it, and Dumbledore replies that he wasn't satisfied with just killing him.Dumbledore's blocks were done with transfigured suicide soldiers that exploded on getting hit, so using a shield would at best get your arm blown off.
>>748545039because primarily the writer is retarded, and mostly because i guess its supposed to be implied that the killing curse has that Sith Lightning (none EU) affect on the user where it permanently alters their personality
>>748544775>FEMBOY DRACO GETTING RAILED BY AN ENTIRE DORM OF HUNG HUFFLEPUFF FUTASThat's very gay, sir
>>748544290
>>748545039>I'm sure dumbledore, the most powerful mage around would know that trickHe explicitly does, Harry knows it's possible because of him
Would Harry Potter be a better story if it was about becoming a lizard instead of wizard?
>Name the one asian kid in the school "CHO CHANG"kek
>>748545026Anon, only one person got hit and survived.If I say "12 gauge is deadly because only one person survived it" I obviously wouldn't fucking mean people who were shot at but had enough cover to not be hit at all.
>>748545012They segregate themselves, the vast majority prefer being in their own sheltered world and don't have any drive to interact with ours. Plus im pretty sure lore wise it works similar to Arcanum were magic and technology can interfere with each other.
>>748544701god damn, it's just one banger after the other
>>748545026>Are wizards literally all retardedYes, being coddled by magic makes you dumb. It's like how some people these days rely on chatgpt so much that their ability to think for themselves atrophies.
You think Luna Lovegood lived up to her name? She give the suck?
>>748545210>irish kid makes everything explode
>>748544385This.
>>748545169It doesn't corrupt you. You just have to genuinely want to murder someone to use that spell. That means not simply wanting to defend people or kill others for practical reasons, but specifically murder.
>>748545275Probably not, she's a massive retard that would get up and walk away part way through to babble some gay gibberish in the corner
>>748541456Another 10 trillion points from Slytherin for questioning the headmaster
>>748545321That'd only make me harder.
>>748543554>somebody saved the dumbledore image I made with hugging face or whatever years ago for some /tv/ thread post that I think no one responded toweird feeling seeing that
Speaking of the killing curse they should have never let you learn it in Legacy, its so fucking stupid how you can cast it freely and absolutely no one gives a shit.
Umm…The hat won’t tell me what houseI should be going into headmaster dumbledore
>The three verboten curses in the Wizarding World, so offensive to the dignity of the Ministry Of Magic that their utterance is on par with direct reference to Voldemort, who is literally worse than Adolf Hitler>Avada Kedavra: A green Force Lightning bolt that nukes you instantly>Crucio: A psychosomatic assault on the victim's pain receptors that packs the entire experience of Jesus Christ's crucifixion at the hands of the Romans into a convenient package within a single target's body>Imperio: Literally just mind controlI mean, what's changed?
>>748545427get a load of this RETARD
>>748545247>Plus im pretty sure lore wise it works similar to Arcanum were magic and technology can interfere with each other.They literally ride trains and cars and shit. The fact is, they only selectively pick and choose what parts of muggle society they want and ignore the rest like the backwater magical Amish they all are.
>>748545290>gay man is named "headmaster"
>>748542410Nipple slurping till her knees give in.
>>748541707>first three booksunadulterated childhood kino>4 cool worldbuilding shit characters & forced drama>5ohshitniggerwhatareyoudoing>6ohshitniggerwhatareyou...oh>7better than 4, mostly manages to unfuck the middle books retardation and ends well enough overall i would say most of the other childhood literature staples are probably more interesting but the hp books are comfy reads that never overstayed their welcome
>>748543331>>748543768JK Rowling somewhat le subverted expectations because you think harry is going to be the most important person but then it's actually a story of voldemorts hubris. Voldemort heard the prophecy and forced the situation on himself, when it could have also been neville instead of harry. Harry is just along for the ride in the books as a somewhat blank slate character, with all the supporting cast pulling him through to the end until voldemort finishes himself off unintentionally
>>748545438using imperio on hermione
>>748545210years later I still have no idea how she basically got away with naming the one asian character ching chong
>>748545413Absolutely, but counterpoint. It's also hilarious that the Hogwarts Legacy protagonist now canonically wants to murder, torture and strip the free will of every single living being that crosses them.
>>748545321>she's a massive retardthat's just like, your opinion.
>>748545478>first three books>unadulterated childhood kinohogsmeade..... take me homeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>748545320that's just completely retarded and atill falls into the problem of being basically bargin bin sith. how the fuck do you explain the killing curse being specifically for just murder in a warzone like the battle of hogwarts? does everyone just personally know everyone else and therefore can personally want to murder someone specifically when they cast the spell?
>>748545502>I still have no idea how she basically got away with naming the one asian character ching chongChong is one of the most common Chinese surnames, it's not that deep.
FLIIIIIIIIII-PENDO
I bet Lily Potter was a slut when she was attending hogwarts. Bitch deserved what happened to her.
>>748541232>>748542346"-100000 points from Slytherin" means Slytherin gains 100000 points, it's a double negative.
>>748545478>first three books>unadulterated childhood kinoSame can be said about the first three games.Why the fuck did they think with the 4th one?
>>748545583Yeah but the bitch was named CHO CHANG. Even in China they say 'The name means absolutely nothing and just sounds racist'
>>748545603No it isn't
>>748545583Cho is short for Chopsticks tho which is pretty on the nose for an asian character
>>748545603Is that like how in a lot of systems in games that involve fantasy elements, undead creatures are healed by poison?
>>748541707I saw each movie in theater as it came out so nostalgia but I have never read the books and don't think I ever will
https://youtu.be/3nFzPI-CgmE?si=CWlVUPnWeBEmIyztI miss TF2 servers
>>748545320Ron, George or even Percy using it after Fred's death would've been kino.
>>748545438>imperio is foreboden>love potions are perfectly fine though>people sell them to schoolkidsWizards need their collective heads examining.
harry went up to cho and expected to taste her bombaclot poonanana.
How bad do you think the HBO adaptation will be? For reference they have mentioned “new additions” to stretch out each book into a season.
>>748545676the first movie is the best due to how comfy it is
>>748545363People to this day are still using my Akibaranger shrugging gif of the Powerful Rangers that I made for an episode release thread on /m/ when it was first airing. It's used so much that my own mom sent it to me a couple months back without even knowing it because someone uploaded it to Giphy. The world works in mysterious ways who will save your stuff or not.
>>748545715Cho Chang's gonna be black.
>>748545707always after the golden snitch
>>748545630Yes it is. "5 points from Slytherin" means losing points. "-5 points from Slytherin" means the opposite. Subtracting a negative number is the same as adding a positive.
>>748545706slipping love potion into hermione's tea
>>748545716Not when they get caught and lose all those points then everyone hates them.
>>748545573It's the intention behind the spell. Murder is an unjustified killing, self defense and killing combatants in a war are reluctant killings. Bad people are fine with killing unarmed children, good people are not. It really isn't complex.
>>748545625I thought the name was fine but I think Rowling took it too far making her bad at flying broomsticks and good at arithmancy.
>>748543331>and not put ANY fucking effort into learning to be a fucking wizard?"he is just instantly rich and set for life on top of getting speshul boy treatment from literally everyone in society but snape.rowling has asspull reasons why his material needs aren't just solved and why he has to go back and live with his abusive inlaws every summer.
>>748545594Lily potter is definitely a slut, and james potter was a psychopath.Harry is a nepobaby who comes from the worst people possible who died specifically because they lived in a country with no real castle doctrine. If Harry was an american, then his dad would've blown Voldemort's head off with a $200 shotgun then had hot sex with his witch wife.
>>748545706>there's a magic personal lubricant called Slytherin I don't know how they get away with selling it
>>748542491On Playstation like 22% chose Griffindor, 20% slytherin and the other have like 15% and 12%, seems there are more pure blood enjoyers than we thought
>>748545815Oh but her eyeing Hermoine's cat didn't seem odd?
>>748545706potions are such an absurd cheat code it's insane. You can force someone to love you OR you can make a potion to perfectly copy someone's apperance. What if Snape made a potion to look like Harry's father, went up to lilly and does NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER to win her back? That would've worked
Wizardology: The Book Of The Secrets Of Merlin, defaced by Homestuck creator Andrew Hussie, presented without comment for the enjoyment of the Harry Potter thread.
>>748545771"5 points from Slytherin" and "-5 points from Slytherin" functionally mean the exact same thing. Like flammable and inflammable being synonymous.
>>748545815the scene where she's seen eating someone's cat familiar is kinda edgy too
>>748545883
>>748545883The only magic I need is revival or channeling my rage into power.
>>748545706If you mix a love potion and a polyjuice potion together you make a polycule potion which makes the drinker turn into a harem of whatever samples you added to the pot. Alternatively you can add some time-warping ingredients in there to make them cycle through the various forms of the samples until the potion runs out and they go back to normal. Obviously, don't fuck it up or you'll turn them into a horrid fleshthing instead. Isn't magic wonderous? No need for steam when you can cast "Accio [Game]" and summon a disk with the game on it for free.
>>748545715There'll be no troll in the dungeon anymore for fear of being seen as an allegory for paki migrants
>>748545929
>>748545573yeah pretty much, the whole story goes in great lengths about grudges, brother wars and revenges regarding death eaters, it's basically one big hogwarts civil war
>>748545804so the fucking spell just does an automatic charisma check on its user just to make sure that the intention is specifically to murder and not because of any other reason? that's just a retarded spell then when you can just say "CRUCIOCRUCIOCRUCIOCRUCIOCRUIOCRUCIOCRUCIO" and get the same effect without some retarded intent modifier.
>>748541418
>>748545715It really depends on if they're smart enough to make their OC contained, or at least based on references from the book, rather than using it to abridge the parts they can't adapt. One of the easiest ways for them to kill the series is by making the GoT fuck up of writing a completely OC plot thread that contradicts important events, then having to scramble to reconcile it at the last minute.The casting and what we've seen from the trailer makes it clear they have nowhere near the attention to detail to replicate the ambiance the movies had, though.The biggest hurdle will probably be the fact that momentum alone will make S1 a smash hit, and they could very easily make the same mistake disney did with the ST and assume they have free reign to do whatever they wanted.
>>748545874>the school joke is to change into Luna and walk around being a fucking idiotexplains a lot
>>748545706They're not actual love potions, more like extremely powerful aphrodisiacs mixed with mind impacting drugs. They'll work to get the witch in bed, but doesn't help with what comes after the effects wear off and can't actually make them love you.
>>748545963
>They installed toilets in hogwarts cause people were upset with the kids shitting themselves and using magic to clean up
>>748545929>>748545963>>748546006>Homosuck>Hating fun and whimsyFigures.
>>748543768The glasses hide it well.
>>748543938You kidding man?>Slytherin's sucks ass and is functionally a prison with a bunch of aquariums as your only light source in between the "cells" they call their rooms.>Griffindor's has a painting annoying you just to even enter it and the common room is the size of a postage stamp. The rooms are good though.>Ravenclaw's requires you to climb up basically an entire tower's worth of stairs to even reach and when you do half the damn thing is just straight up glass so you have sun shining in your eyes everywhere.Meanwhile Hufflepuff's has you going to a dingy part of the cellars and it's got some random trees scattered about that don't really fit, but in exchange you have these awesome arches everywhere, you have the cozy common room, the individual rooms are like you're in a log cabin, and you can cheese you way up the stairs via Revelio spam so you can hang with the chicks.
>>748545883>>748545929>>748545963One more reason to hate this furry faggot
>>748546006
>>748545969Yes some spells require a certain mindset for their effect to workThe Patronus is another example you dribbling retard, how is a series for children so hard for you to grasp?
>>748546010They would teleport the poo to India because no one would even notice.
>>748545716I prefer the second one cause of the basilisk, even though I have nostalgia Hogwarts Legacy was a shitty 6/10 ubislop game, should cut the map size and replace all copy paste collectibles for Witcher tier side quests, don't care if they only make 10 side quests
>>748541707Read Discworld instead.The virgin Harry Potter wizards:>hide away from the non-magical folk to avoid being genocided>avoid using their magic on non-magical folk>hide their school in the middle of the cold and damp ass highlands>wave little twigs around>couldn't stand up to one dark lord and two dozen cronies>only eat big dinners at school>rise the ranks by reading books, passing tests and making new discoveries like a bunch of nerds>most powerful wizard got his title by cheating with the Elder Hax Wand>afraid of deathThe Chad Discworld wizards: >live among non-magical folk, openly display their magical status>use their magic on anyone who fucks with them, give zero fucks>put their school smack bang in the middle of their world's biggest city>use solid oak six foot staffs with knobs on the end>can stand up to dragons, elves, Things from the Dungeon Dimensions and even the Auditors of all reality>eat big dinners their whole lives>rise the ranks by 86ing their superiors>most powerful wizard fucking earned his title by being too robust and sharp to kill>summon death to ask him trivial questions
>>748546047
>>748545715The fact tht you even have to ask this makes me think that your favorite IPs werent raped enough and you deserve more raping.
>>748545969are you just going to keep making retarded posts failing to understand children's book logic
>>748545963oh yeah i forgot, every single eastern european wizard has to attend the same school, also japan gets its own seeprate school while asians just go to one school, and africans get put in one gigantic school too. Im sure the ethnic wars alone dwarf the entirety of what Voldemort or Grindelwald could every hope to achieve
>>748545929Crazy this book actually has some lovely little illustrations, to be the point that it being defaced by Redditscratch is actually upsetting to me.
>>748546102
>>748545929>>748545963>>748546006>>748546047>>748546102Jesus christ, I'd have been embarrassed if I'd written that at 13.
>>748546078>schooled by a sourcerer
>>748546139
>>748546180
>>748546127Now now, for the wizarding world it's more of a wizards vs muggles sort of thingOf course, a wizard who excels in muggle studies would be unstoppable, glad that's never truly happened. Honestly kind of want to play a harry potter FPS game where the muggle and wizarding worlds have gone to war, sounds cash.
>>748545874Actually Voldemorts mother used a love potion on his father so she pretty much raped him and since Voldemort wasnt born out of love he couldnt feel love, its pretty much rape
>>748546078let's not bring up discworld. already on the precipice of being reimagined into shit woke hell, let's not give it any attention
>>748545883>>748545929>>748545963>>748546006>>748546047>>748546102Watch out, in his perverted mind this constitutes as stalking and libel, and he can legally sue you.
>>748546213
>>748545883Was he pissed at Rowling because she wasn't left wing enough like the others or something?
>>748546127>one single african school
>>748546165The Harry Potter world wouldn't even survive having a sourcerer in it. The Discworld has survived at least one.
Use a sexier OP next time.
>>748542806That's the hope for the sequel they're making.
>>748546127instead of houses your dorm consists of your countrymen, now qudditch and the house prize are much more interesting. Actually imagine a chinese or korean teacher discriminating against japanese students and vice versa
>>748546267wizardology and jkr have nothing to do with each other
>>748546260
>>748545874>What if Snape made a potion to look like Harry's father, went up to lilly and does NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER to win her backThis set me off.
>>748545883I thought that undertumblr and homosuck have the same exact fanbase. Are Toby fags into this?
this thread sucks now kill all homosuck fags
>>748546247>already on the precipice of being reimagined into shit woke hellWe don't talk about the Watch show. Watch the animated adaptations instead, the Soul Music one has Christopher muthafuckin Lee as Death and excellent songs like https://youtu.be/zOjQkIb162g. Going Postal and Hogfather have live action adaptations too, the latter is my regular Christmas movie now.
>>748546115>>748546048>B-But childrens book!the argument of retarded faggots who admit they cant explain shit, but like the story too much to admit its unexplainable. You are defending something that had 6 books and couldn't even explain how its magic worked
>>748546298My apologies for being retarded.
>>748545997>it's just an industrial strength rape drugOh that's fine then, carry on.
>>748546303
>>748546357I always thought Mort would make a great movie
>>748546127JKR does a lot of based retard things on purpose to add to the whimsy but the worldbuilding outside england is unintentionally hilarious and top english exceptionalism.
>>748544775>Dumbledore said quiety
>>748546367
>>748546418
What's the age of consent in the wizarding world?
>>748546358It's clearly explained in the story you didn't read, I have no idea why you're even bothering to be some generic antagonistic mutt about something you obviously have zero knowledge of.
>>748546358Yeah that's about the level of not understanding the point I would expect from you by now
>>748545883I don't get it. is he mad at the book for some reason or just jerking around?
>>748546362Technically all it does is make you temporarily fall obsessively in love with someone, but obviously once you're in puberty or and adult that will result in other things if you push the issue. So just a roofie essentially, which realistically isn't as dangerous or as fucked as half the things in the Wizarding World.
>>748546456
>>748546382I think Sir Terry was once in talks with Disney to make a Mort movie but they told him to "lose the Death angle" and he just threw his hands up and walked away.
>>748546248Ah, the Patrick Tomlinson gambit.I’ll load up my pepperoni to distract him
>>7485464579 and 3/4
>>748546457what is age of consent in a world with Time Turners?
>>748546362That is just how things are in the wizarding world. You can buy magical roofies that makes the shit taimanin deal with look tame at the local joke store (It's just a prank, bro). It is fine, after having the whole quidditch team run a train on you in your addled state, you can always just cast feticus aborticus on yourself
>>748546457just doze her with a love potion and she will rape you herselfperfect plan to free yourself from consequences
>>748546357>the messenger My fucking man
>>748546180>elephantHear me out.
>>748546127>also japan gets its own seeprate school while asians just go to one schoolDidn't koreans and japanese get lumped together in the same school for some fucking reason.Fucking christ, imagine. Just walking to class would have a 50% mortality rate.
>>748545883i haven't read homestuck but is this garbage basically the general feeling and gist of it?
>>748544065
>>748546621>"...And that's how the Mahoutokoro wizarding school found out that humans are made up of 70% water" -Dumbledore shouted calmly
>>748546578Don't forget Sioni Bod Da.https://youtu.be/CfusJWrE0hgNow that's music with hole.
>>748544473>>748544720I love dumbleposting.
>>748546678Short version: yeah basically. Hussie basically invented the irony-poisoned mindset of today a good 15 years before it actually happened.
>>748541707I like the first book and then each subsequent book less and less as its forced into strange shapes it was never meant to be in
>>748546678Not really, this is just a shitpost (which Hussie made a lot of before making Problem Sleuth and Homestuck)I still don't recommend reading it though, plus what >>748546248 says.
>>748546730
>>748541873He did literally everything wrong. If he wanted to be immortal horcruxes were the worst way to do it
>>748546678Not really, that's edgelord-phase hussie.Problem Sleuth was lolrandum-phase hussie, which he wore REALLY wellHomestuck was his transition between that and his later "I'm a serious artist"-phase hussie, which had a good sweet spot in the middle for as long as that lasted before he tipped too far over.
One final note about the Wizardology shitpost:Andrew Hussie has been accused many times of having a hypnosis kink, exemplified by the Serkets' tendencies to control the minds of humans within the Homestuck story structure and put them to sleep to advance or halt particular plot threads. Andrew Hussie is on record as having been born in 1979, which would have made him about ten years old when the Care Bears segment "Bedtime For Care-A-Lot" aired as the second segment of the thirtieth episode of The Care Bears Family.Bedtime For Care-A-Lot features the show's villain, No-Heart (a "bad-tempered, ruthless, wise, evil, gloomy, powerful and dangerous wizard", to quote the Wikia page), concocting a plan to put the entirety of Care-A-Lot to sleep with sleeping sand, leaving Bedtime Bear as the only bear who can intervene with his plan.Whether or not this episode was a psychological influence on Hussie's creation of the Wizardology defacement is unknown.
>>748546878why didn't Voldemort just put a horcrux in space?
>>748546957Because that would be retarded
>>748545706
>>748546957or down ms trelawny's pants? nobody was going to go down there either
>>748546957Why doesn't NASA just shoot a horcrux into space?
>>748546742The whole ending was perfect, really. Death riding to NotBat Outta Hell was my highlight
>>748545706They are a secret society for a very good reason
>>748546770Hussie didn't invent irony poisoning, that's giving him too much credit. He's was just another pretentious Gen X SomethingAwful goon
>>748541232He was gay for Voldemort
>>748546274Fun fact: despite being possibly the most cold and calculating African leader since decolonization kicked off, its all but confirmed that Kagame has personally used anonymous Twitter accounts to sling 4chan tier insults at his detractors. Some journalist doing a book on the genocide that morphed into an investigation on the assassination of one of the big dogs of RPF noticed some Kagame verbal tics in the comments section and then saw the only followers the account had were fucking cabinet ministers and generals. Africa is the funniest place.
why didn't Voldemort put a horcrux up his cloaca?
Why didn't Voldemort just hire an assassin to kill Harry during any of his summer breaks?
>>748545012Think of the Wizarding World like the image of the Amish you have where they use no electricity or anything from modern society (Despite them and their kids using smartphones and other things to run businesses). The Muggle world exists as an alternate part of reality that is only interacted with if necessary due to needing to warn the Prime Minister about Wizard Hitler arriving, people who couldn't find fit into the world for one reason or another, or because they're Squibs. The wizards are all extremely proud and/or racist to use Muggle-built objects unless they make arbitrary exceptions and otherwise sequester themselves to their own communities. Like, Newt is probably the most accepting of Nomajs and their technology by far as he interacts with the Muggle world regularly since his job requires containing escaped magical beasts.You have to remember that the entire world building breaks apart as soon as you introduce Muggle technology into the mix as it invalidates so much of what they can do, what they consider taboo, or how they live in general. Simple examples off the top of my head>Landlines in general, not even cell phones, make Owls 100% irrelevant. They go the way of the carrier pigeon of yesteryear. Once time advances to the cell phone age now you get e-mail and texting.>Internet and satellites makes their secret impossible to keep without Obliviating the entire world daily.>Avada Kedavra is worse than any gun you just stole from an American Walmart and no one could cast a protective charm fast enough to defend against one.>There is no legitimate reason why wizards that don't care don't just use Alohomora to rob banks or even random houses since they can Stupefy everyone or Obliviate them.>For the more moral wizards you earn Galleons from working in the Wizarding World.Just for reference, a Galleon is .8th of an inch thick which is roughly $1000 per coin. Apparently the average Squib earns like 150 of these per year. That's doctor pay.
>>748547069He literally did exactly that? It's why he and Harry mind merge with Nagini
>>748546078>can stand up to dragons, elves, Things from the Dungeon Dimensions and even the Auditors of all realityThey actually have no real contingencies since even sourcery can't do anything to the DD creatures, even Rincewind with sockful of sand is better equipped for that.>summon death to ask him trivial questionsTechnically true but it's always a last resort, they don't like Death paying too much attention to them. Even Albert tried to get out of dealing with Death by performing the rite backwards and all that got him was an eternal butler gig.
>>748547069it was already up the snake's, who by the way actually a shape shifting asian women who just never shape shifted in the main series because
>>748545929This guy was like 40 when he did this by the way
>>748544473>>748544523kino
>bringing up Hussie in a Harry Potter thread out of nowhere>but nothing about Rose Lalonde, who is basically anons' image of the Slytherin Stacy if it were a real character
>>748544894
>>748547180If the Death Eaters tried to take over Ankh-Morpork, they'd get their cheeks clapped in five minutes.
>fucking homestuckfags shitting up my comfy hp threadKill yourselves you faggots! Your main character is litteraly a tranny!
>>748542410haha
>>748547185Wait a minute that just sounds like Shelob
>>748546247>>748546357Time for my fun game of spot the made up fact about The Watch adaption>Sybil is the leader of a vigilante group seeking to avenge her parents>Cheery is a tranny human who identifies as a dwarf>Angua is the one who teaches Carrot the ropes>Vimes is a punk rocker>Death is a whiny asshole who hates his job>Dibbler is a genderbent wheelchair bound information broker>Carcer was Vimes' childhood friend lashing out at being wronged in the past>Carcer is the one trying to control the dragon from Guards! Guards!>Nobby and Colon don't exist>Vetinari and Wonse are both women and both outright villainsCan you spot it?it's all real.
>>748545883Oh hey, I had a copy of that book as a kid.
>>748541707>no strings attachednigger its a book what the fuck are you talking about
>>748547284Closer to 25, actually. He started Team Special Olympics in 2003, and this book was published in 2005.
>>748547132Because he was going through narcissistic collapse from 1981 to 1998, and he was increasingly desperate to prove that failing to give Harry the ol' Avaddy Kedavvy the first time wasn't a fluke. It had to be him who killed Harry, and it had to be done with the Killing Curse, otherwise his wounded pride wouldn't be mended. It's like asking why Thanos didn't just double the universe's resources instead, you're trying to use logic on characters who aren't logical at all.
>>748547398Doesn't ankh morpork get conquered in the alternative timeline of Jingo? I can't remember how it waves away the university not helping
>>748542902>house specifically for the especially kindThat would be the best possible experience of Hogwarts. No backstabbing, no study burnout and no dumb stunts that end in broken bones.
>>748545929y'all are fucking weird to be scandalized by this.kiwifag behavior.
>>748541443Why are there so many p*dos in the HP fanbase who want to fuck teenage girls???
>>748541232Is this what it took for mods to not delete his femDraco thread again?
>>748547439slytherine girls wear only green underwearcommon knowledge, lorelet
>>748547484*CHK-CHK*We don't. Talk about. The Watch show. And yes, I did actually just cock a swamp dragon like a shotgun.
>>748547628>filenameno idea, why not ask your buddies when you go back to where you came from? It's full of them
>>748547556>getting pushed around by every other house, the teachers, Filch and his cat, house elves and the King of England because your defining house trait is being a pussy would be good actually
>>748547484>Nobby and Colon don't existfuck why to this specifically, but also fuck why to the rest of it. Like what's the fucking point of calling it an 'adaption' if it's completely unrecognizable
>>748547628What kind of faggot isn't attracted to teenage girls?
>>748547667This post was made by a Slytherin poster inbetween being forced to service Voldemort's wand btw.
>>748547652Trick question, asshole. Slytherin girls don't wear underwear past the 1st year because they get constantly raped. By everyone.
>>748547554>Doesn't ankh morpork get conquered in the alternative timeline of Jingo?Yeah, by an army of extremely competent Klatchian soldiers, not a baker's dozen of magical mongoloids and their inbred hillbilly of a boss. Hopping on that Muggle dick was the best favor Merope ever did for her son, if Voldemort was any more inbred he'd be trying to inbreed with himself.
I just realised im on /v/ and not /tv/. Huh
>>748547670It was a combination of the studio being about to lose the rights and a presumed nepo baby with a fucking abysmal script demanding to have it created.Their solution was to staple the IP onto said script and hope it would cover it.
>>748544762
>>748547139Not wanting to get exposed on the internet and inadvertently destroying society when it begins asking wizards to give everyone a succubus GF is reason enough for both sides to avoid each other.
>>748547398I mean the UU wizards would slap the Death Eater's shit but that wasn't really my point. Death Eaters don't subsist off magic and sourcery, the DD Things do. And Death doesn't really give a fuck, he only adheres to the Rite of AshkEnte basically as a courtesy thing, he doesn't even need to appear in the magic circle and sometimes doesn't.
>>748547670>>748547763WE. DON'T. TALK. ABOUT. THE. WATCH. SHOW.
>>748547484Death part is the least retarded of it. Still retarded but at least it's not a total character assassination, just a pointless twist on the character. After all he did try to retire.
>>748546513I have one of the other books in the series, but mine's not filled with dicks.
HARRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, DID YOU CHEESE RADAHN WITH COMET AZURI TOLLLLDDD YOOOUU, NO INT BUILDS OUTSIDE OF HOGWAAAAAARRTTTTSSSS YOU SCAR HEADED PUSSYFIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR, AND WRITE ME OUT 100 LINES OF "I DIDN'T BEAT THE GAME" IN DETENTION
>>748547825I'm not even talking about the wizards, Ankh-Morpork in general would eat the Death Eaters alive. Give it a week and they're just another ethnic minority with their own restaurants and graffiti.
>>748547876>but mine's not filled with dicksHow happy are you that you finally get the chance to honestly say this?
>>748547759watching the "evil wizard army" just charge headlong into the hogwarts defenses on foot sans any kind of magic wielding hurt my eyes
>>748547797If wizards were using the Internet, Ebola-chan and Wuhan-chan both would've eradicated all Indians, the entire African continent, and China by now. Imagine Defense Against Meme Magic as a class lmao
>>748547554>>748547759It's kind of amazing how Klatch managed to recover from the almost complete devastation of Al Khali during the Sourcery War and the magic fallout that followed, and managed to build up a military force that would've fucked up Ankh Morpork. Goes to show how fucking bad the infrastructure was before the big movers and shakers like Vetinari and Vimes got into positions of signficant influence, to the point where AM could serve as a peacekeeping intermediary between Borogravia and Zlobenia from a position of authority.
deh
>>748547876Man, I thought for sure /v/ would be the place I find out someone drew dicks on all the dragons in Dragonology.
>>748547667>love, kindness and camaraderie are foreign to the SlytheriniggerNot surprising.
Luna is the most minor of sidecharacters and only exists to sometimes say aloof stupid stuff to confuse the main cast but she's a fan favourite (mine too). Maybe because they gave her character a really hot actress
>>748543797usa is anything but polite though
>>748547663what's with that filename? it's not the first time I see it either
>>748547628Y-yeah who w-would ever want to fuck prime pussy, couldn't be me...
>>748547797The internet makes it impossible to avoid the Wizarding World's existence from happening. Some student is going to film actual magic, Platform 9 3/4's will now be on full blast as CCTV people has people disappearing into walls and people testing it, kids are going to bring phones into Hogwarts or the other schools and release videos of them doing magic, there's going to be someone in their world summoning tentacles for OnlyWizards for the Muggles to pay for, and on and on. Once just like 20 or 30 years pass in that world it's over for the wizards because everything gets exposed.
>>748547046When you're the one with the gun you can get away with it I suppose.
>>748548040Ew gross I didn't realise that version was censored.
>>748547909I'd say it depends on what period of AM we're talking about. If we're talking about Colour of Magic/Light Fantastic era then it could go either way, there were too many factions fighting each other and willingly letting the city go up in flames that the Death Eaters might not need to do anything. If a silly not-Chinese/Japanese insurance salesman got the whole city to torch itself with a few careless words, pretty much anyone could do it. But if we're talking about AM under Vetinari and Vimes then yeah, they'd all be in the Watch jail cells before the day was over.
>>748547484>Cheery is a tranny human who identifies as a dwarfHasn't Carrot always been this?
>>748542265Wait if his original name was tom riddle where the fuck did the i am part come from? That shit only makes sense if the original name was voldemort.
>>748548052Nah, she was interesting even in the books. Mainly because her parts stood out so much. The part about skeleton horses in 5th book was pretty cool.
>>748541707Honestly it was the fun school life shenanigans. It was purely fun whimsy and I realise looking back on it it's unironically better written than Naruto. If things don't make sense, they're not supposed to, it's magic, they ain't gotta explain shit
>>748543735Taking a character you dislike and making them a woman usually improves things
>>748547716>answers their own question
>>748542650I thought he was perfectly serviceable and even had an greg-heffley-ish streak to him with how often he'd be hated by everybody suddenly
>>748548175He wasn't a tranny.And he was raised by dwarfs so he didn't know any better rather than believing himself to be a dwarf because of a mental illness.
>>748548127I'm sure if you just keep being a Better Man then everyone else will eventually stop using you as the school punching bagLove wins the day every time
>>748547396You know it was always weird to me that Harry decided to name his son after Dumbledore. Like, the later books reveal that he's not this idealized perfect flawless human being, but rather a very powerful man who did make mistakes in his past. And then in the final book Harry basically discovery that from day 1, dumbledore raised him to be a sacrificial lamb that he planned to slaughter when the time was right. Like, what was his plan if Draco hadn't promised to kill Dumbledore? Would he have faced off against Voldemort, said "sorry Harry" and Avada-kedavra'd the boy to weaken Voldy at the critical moment? If I was Harry, I'd be fucking pissed. Dumbledore had no Idea Harry would survive being de-horcruxed. He was just fully ready to kill a kid. Call me weird, but I wouldn't name my son after the dude who planned my death since I was 1 year old. Same with snape. "Oh he did the right thing and protected harry". Yeah because he felt fucking guilty for joining the wizard nazis because his childhood crush married a jock instead of him and he still spend half his life bullying kids and projecting his hate of the kids dead fucking dad onto him. "Hey, you're 12 but I fucking hate you because I wanted to fuck your mom, but your mom fucked a jock instead reeeee I'm gonna make your life hell". Yeah that's who'd I name my kid after. For sure.
>>7485417071, 2 and 6 are the only good booksThe rest is doodoo 2 was her best work over all,pure kino
>>748548175No, Cheery is a man who both claims to be a woman and a dwarf in the "adaption". It's Carrot's backstory welded onto a tranny, because a fantasy cultural detail just wasn't enough for them.
>>748548184His middle name, anon.
>>748541873The charges ,auror?
>>748547484Can't hear you. The only adaptations are the early cartoons and the live action one with Tony Robinson in a bit part.
>>748548259You shouldn't project onto your betters.
>>748547963It's true to real life, in many ways the medieval Arab world was actually a lot more advanced than Europe was at the time.
>>748548127Does lazily stroking out faggot really prevent people on other parts of the internet from getting the ick?
>>748548195That's why going all serious starting with book 4 was a mistake. If you want me to treat your whimsical world seriously then my demands will be different.
>>748547739No they don't, because they're asking for it.
>>748548156Just direct those morons towards the Shades and they'll deal with themselves.
>>748548187The reason she can see them also hits really hard.
HARRY DID YOU TEACH GENDER DYSPHORIC STUDENTS THE SEPTUM SEMPRA SPELL TO DO DIY SRS??!! MINUS 6 MILLION POINTS TO SLYTHERIN
>>748548268I mean what the fuck else was Dumbledore going to do? Kill Harry the moment he found out he was a horacrux?... Wait, is that why Dumbeldore basically constantly baited harry into dangerous situations?
>>748547628Being teenage yourself at the height of HP popularity tends to help with that.
>>748548268>Same with snape. "Oh he did the right thing and protected harry". Yeah because he felt fucking guilty for joining the wizard nazis because his childhood crush married a jock instead of him and he still spend half his life bullying kids and projecting his hate of the kids dead fucking dad onto him. "Hey, you're 12 but I fucking hate you because I wanted to fuck your mom, but your mom fucked a jock instead reeeee I'm gonna make your life hell".
>>748544523>>748544473
>>748541443>book 1 - as normal>book 2 - as normal>book 3 - both start to mature and get over the petty knee jerk hatred; still don't really like each other, but the insults start turning to banter>book 4 - Them getting closer is now the main reason Ron snaps, and Harry's name coming out the goblet being the last straw makes more sense>book 5 - friendship understandably strains>book 6 - things come to a head when Harry accidentally shreds her>book 7 - The moment where she covers for him in the manor is one of forgiveness on top of showing how she realises she was wrong. Snape's memory now shows parallels between him and Harry
>>748548284>No, Cheery is a man who both claims to be a woman and a dwarf in the "adaption".Female dwarves were kind of a transgender allegory in the books, hell, one of the villains is pretty much a closeted trans woman lashing out due to envy.>"Not them! The...ones in Ankh-Morpork! Wearing make-up and dresses and...and abominable things!" Dee pointed a finger at Cheery. "Ha'ak! How can you even look at it! You let her," and Vimes had seldom heard a word sprayed with so much venom, "her flaunt herself, here! And it's happening everywhere because people have not been firm, not obeyed, have let the old ways slide! Everywhere there are reports. They're eating away at everything dwarfish with their... their soft clothes and paint and beastly ways. How can you be King and allow this? Everywhere they are doing it and you do nothing! Why should they be allowed to do this?" Now Dee was sobbing. "I can't!"
>>748548327True, until the Mongols fucked everyone up and lay siege to Baghdad.
>>748545976The first movie wasn't just depicting wonder, much of the filmmaking was interested in wonder. The child actors had a great time, the camera lingers on all the grand set design and decorations, there's a big generosity to it all that can't be manufactured with production design alone. The HBO series looks like it's being made by depressed people.
>>748548475Snape was a good boy, he would never do anything truly badExcept that one thing but that don't count he had no choice because of that giga promise that he chose to make. It was out of his control
>>748544523> Presumably Hufflepuff was doing something tooLel
>>748541443>>748542014>>748542410sex
>>748548582They weren't, they were a satire of Islam. Cheery is an allegory for muslims coming to the big city and realising they won't get honour killed for not wearing a burkha. Bear in mind that feet of clay was written in the 90s, so that allegory has fallen to the wayside nowadays.
>>748548327How come though? I mean it. After the fertile crescent head start or Nile mapgen start, they're in arid lands instead of, well temperate, resource richEurope. Yet the Caliphates in spain were pretty cozy from what I remember until they fell and splintered and then it was back to dark ages rule with the crusades & reconquista. How'd they do it?
>>748548689what's up with the eyes? is she trying to hypnotize me?
>>748545969Yes, and it's kino. It directly ties morality and characters worldviews into the powersystem
>>748548707I think there's a lot of applicability, actually. You can see the dwarves as a trans analogy, a a gay analogy, a Jewish analogy, a Muslim analogy, pretty much any case of younger, more liberal generations of any group coming into conflict with the older, more conservative, repressed and traditional generations.
>>748548582Nigga, it was a joke on Tolkien's "female dwarfs have beards too" and a general exploration of idea of girl allowing herself to be a girl despite her super rigid upbringing that forbid it.
>>748548707I feel that the Islam allegory didn't really get solidified until Thud!, where it got really on-the-nose.>The law goes all the way up and all the way downBased Vimes. Too bad the GMP couldn't follow his example.
>>748548475That's the point, isn't it? Snape isn't a good person, but out of his weirdly strong love for Lily he risked his life to stop Voldemort and protect Harry for her. It's not a conventional hero, but that's still respectable.
>>748548689i can fix her
>>748543735perhaps
>>748548878>but that's still respectableNo it's not, it's nothing more than the whims of a selfish retard with no loyalty to anybody falling on the more favourable side for once by chance
came here to say this >>748545603
>>748548964i thought trannies hates rowling why are they still making cringe comics
>>748548964
>>748548052She's the most "moe" and least stressful female character. Best girl
>>748548992Which is why people love him. People are selfish and they want redemption for themselves too.
>>748549043>not moaning myrtle ngmi
>>748549029>>748548964cute flat tomboy ron
>>748547132Because he's wizard racist, he wouldn't have a filthy muggle kill Harry Potter.
>>748549009>”HOWEVER Fuck Slytherin” Dumbledore said calmly >with a wave of his wand, the overstuffed hourglass containing Slytherin’s house points exploded, the gems flying out and instantly turning the black and green table red with gore>”that’ll learn ‘em, professor” said Hagrid
>>748548992Snape is an antihero written well, meaning someone who can be a piece of shit without that being written away as morally correct, and is still capable of doing heroic acts that directly relate to him being shitty.
>>748549029>>748548964It sure would be nice if there was more kind of art instead of the shitflinging and agenda pushing it does get. I know the chink game exists and got (gets?) art but it's chink live-service, come on.
>>748549187He's better than fucking Itachi the IDF soldier, that's for sure.
>>748548752A key difference between early Christianity and early Islam: the former restricted science to high-ranking church members, the latter didn't. The former saw educated, literate people as a threat to their control, the latter literally showered gold on intellectuals and inventors. The former exploited people's ignorance of what the Bible actually says, the latter required true believers to be able to read the Quran themselves. One environment encouraged creativity and the pursuit of knowledge, the other encouraged rote memorization and blind obedience.
An animated HP movie with a new plot and characters would go hard
>>748549260So just any cartoon about wizards?
>>748548992He's loyal to Lily, idiot. He's a misguided asshole that found the strength to redeem himself in the end, that's objectively respectable to anyone raised in a decent society.
>>748546027>>748546129>>748547284Reminder that Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff was made by Hussie solely to trash some amateur artist on the Penny Arcade forums who was attempting to make his own "two gamers" webcomic. In retrospect it's kinda sad. He's always been a spiteful douche who can only get off by shitting on others.Well, that and riding the coattails of Toby Fox, and inserting his hypno-somno fetish into his work.
>>748549257What the fuck happened then?
>>748549350If Lily had lived long enough to make an OnlyFans, Snape would be quadrillions of Galleons in debt.
>>748544432...So a creepy angry femcel? I fail to see how that's any different
>>748549224Just watch LWA for Diana and you'll get your fem!Draco needs out of your system.
>>748541707They're still pretty good books today but you missed the train on them honestly. You won't get the full effect unless you were in that time period as a kid, growing up alongside the characters as the new books released each year. I think that aspect of it is what made the hardcore Potterheads, not the quality of the novels themselves.One thing I will say is that they're very cozy. Rowling's strength is in describing ambience and locales, she's good at putting your mind's eye in a certain place.
>>748549308well i doubt someone that can do the world better than Rowling will appear out of thin air.
>>748549414Luckily Snape was so loyal to her that he took the side that murdered her before that could happen
>>748548964Chubby girl neville is cute
>>748549253>>748549257
imagine a slytherin slut speaking parseltongue to your trouser snake
>the spell that instakills is super illegal to ever use>the spell to freeze someone and then shatter them like sub zero is a-ok
>>748549409Same thing that happens to any religion that goes on long enough: it stops being about the god, and starts being about the organization and all of its rules. People stop fearing the wrath of God and start fearing the wrath of the Inquisition. Funny thing is, there's a Discworld book about that too...
>>748549595Only one of them fractures a soul and corrupts it irreparably forever, fair enoughYou COULD use levitation charms to murder if you really wanted, if every potentially lethal spell was outlawed then all wizards would just have to pack up and go home
why did the main conflict in harry potter boil down to race mixing? voldemort did all that shit so wizards wouldnt breed with muggles.given how europe is conquered by muslims right now, we should be routing for voldemort, right?
>>748548940There's nothing to fix.
>>748549743Nah he's a mutt himselfFuck that guy
>>748549029Sex with Voldemorta.
>>748549580Yeah, that's another factor: the Europeans believing that everything outside Europe was godforsaken wastes populated only by backwards heathen savages who needed Europeans to enlighten the shit out of them to get anything useful done. When you consider it a given that you're already the best, you don't have much incentive to improve.
>>748549743Voldemort would side with a muslim wizard over you though, they'd sectumsempra you and put you in a kebab
>>748549743Voldemort is the equivalent of a 56% barging into a thread and telling you about your country
>>748549743I thought it was about megalomania and the whole pure blood thing was just an agenda for recruitung.
>>748549743>siding with anyone but yourselfngmi
>>748549743>routing for voldemort
>>748548772maybeand do things to you
>>748549828>the Europeans believing that everything outside Europe was godforsaken wastes populated only by backwards heathen savages who needed Europeans to enlighten the shit out of them to get anything useful done. Were they really wrong though? I mean, other than the Muslim world and the East Asians there wasn't really much competition back then. And from the 1700s onward even those became outclassed by Europeans (opium wars, Ottomans becoming the sick man of europe, tec).
Is this still the best Hogwarts game? Hogwarts legacy was pretty disappointing
>>748549874It was about Voldemort's daddy issues. He was mindbroken when he learned that his dad was a Muggle and not the fearsome wizard he imagined, and he never recovered from it. Every time Voldemort casts the Killing Curse, you might as well replace "AVADA KEDAVRA!" with "FUCK YOU, DAD!"
>>748549828>When you consider it a given that you're already the best, you don't have much incentive to improve.Except that was factually true then and the only exception to that now is asians. The rest of the races are just retards fumbling the teachings and tech that whites gave them.
>>748549952>Were they really wrong though? I mean, other than the Muslim world and the East Asians there wasn't really much competition back then.>aside from the competition there wasn't much competitionAnd aside from all of the water and air molecules, this glass is empty.
>>748549953I think I probably liked the second one more, I definitely have more voice lines from it drilled into my mind for eternity
All I learn from this thread is that I want to rape female Malfoy
>>748543079i still dont like itkeep your autistic near mute girlfriendyikes
>>748549985Thank you for proving my point, you've been very helpful.
>>748549923and ruined. I fucking hate AI sloppers
>>748550028>>748550073White website, white language. Leave shitskin. All your people can do is bomb each other. Go bitch about dead Palestinians you fucking sand nigger redditor.
>>748546078>>748547484>>748547656How the fuck there are no Discworld vidya? Maybe there are Discworld inspired onnes?
>>748549953which one is better - PS1 or PS2 version?Want to go through old HP games and I only played PC versions.
>>748545070i don't know whether to be impressed by your knowledge, or worried that you managed to list them without looking it up
>RNG hack potion exists>never seems to get used by anyone for doing risky shit
>>748550148There's a old point and click one featuring Rincewind
>>748550127You already proved me right, you don't have to keep doing it.
>>748550181very hard to make or something lazy like that
Wizards are right to be afraid of ordinary world, single virus would wreck the entire wizard world, their medical knowledge is rudimentary
>>748550148There are a handful of Discworld games but most of them are point and click adventures. Imagine Grand Theft Horsecart: Ankh-Morpork.
>>748550291they have spells for viruses. They should be more afraid of getting drone striked to death
>>748550240Keep acting smug, that will definitely materialize wealth and technology in your sand dweller nation that never existed>BUT WE ARABS HAD LIKE MATHS AND SHIEETSandnigger cope for being a poor goatfuckerI can't wait for Trump and Israel to bomb your nation too
>>748550291School nurse level medical care involves regrowing bones
>>748549743The entire conflict was protecting muggles instead of killing or enslaving them, like Hermione. Retard.
>>748550323I wonder how Terry would feel knowing that an entire Agatean subgenre used this map of AM as its template.
>>748550335Okay, fine, keep proving me right if it makes you happy.
