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Despair about my life, feels like I am living my parents dreams rather than my own. Should have utilized the time given to me in a better way.

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Can't solve captchas.

>>8125994
It ain't over yet, pal. Every day you wake up is another potential fresh start.

>>8126657
someone once said, every day you get outta bed is a victory

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Here's something to think about...

ONCE YOU TURN 18 YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT, DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET ANYTHING OR ANYBODY THAT MESSED YOU UP AFFECT YOU ANYMORE. IF YOU DO LET IT AFFECT YOU ONCE YOU'RE AN ADULT THAT'S 100% YOU'RE FAULT.

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Not long ago, I was useful. I went places, I met people, I did things that were worth doing. Now it's just a couple of years later, and things have fallen apart. I'm in pain both physical and emotional, and I'm so tired of fighting. Day after day after day.

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>>8126729
You're choosing to be that way. Nobody is forcing you to be that way. I say throw your TV away, throw your computer away, throw your smartphone away and get a dumb phone. Act like your life depends on it. You live in a country that has all the opportunity in the world and you can live life however you want. You can live in the country away from the crazy people and find people who are down to earth. I've done it and it was awesome. So for anybody wanting to respond with a bunch of bullshit I'll say go fuck yourself and have a nice day.

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The last time I felt free was before the pandemic. 5-6 years later, it feels like my life has been put in a stasis that all my effort only preserves. I don't get to roll the dice anymore. Most of my day just goes into work, and going to and from.
It drives me crazy. Stagnation cuts away at your soul like a razor.
I can't decide whether I want to keep going, or start over. I have started over before. I know I can do it. But at my age, I'm not going to get too many more chances to restart, or come back from a failed attempt at a restart. I've always trusted my decisions, but now I can't turn a single choice over in my mind that isn't trapped inside a cage of doubt.
Maybe leaving the place where I was born was a mistake after all.

Think I need to have my gallbladder out. Damn.

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Life is wonderful and I love all of you.

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Moving in with my gf soon. Quite anxious about it although i'm also very excited.