Starting off with the king of /ck/.
The classic where he's very unhappy with his church for losing the chilli contest.
>>6188013>no idea how i'll get this outits a resealable bag, just open it wtf
>>6188019>Put a sheet on the grillwhat's even the point of grilling your burger?
>>6188022It's possible that the sealing part melted together
>>6188040No carcinogenic black soot on the burger which might give him a stroke later.:)
>>6188261>removing the only reason of grilling the meat in the first placeso again, what's the point of doing this, it's like taking a shower in a wetsuit
>>6188015jesus christ he could go to jail for this
>>6188092Damn. Dude's gonna die doing what he loves, eating way to much. He can't even use both hands to lift that mondo burger to his mouth. How many years does he have left? Probably 5? Can you do Polymarket bets on people's deaths?
>>6188007
>>6188343At least for chicken it supposedly helps them retain their juice. As for this webm, I would guess his logic is that he's worried about that grounded beef/matter falling through the gaps. Perhaps it was too "liquidy" or something. Either way, the fate of that egg summarizes his skill in cooking.
>>6188043I'll cook and eat eggs in just about any form: scrambled runny or done, sunny side up or down, omelet, boiled in almost any form, hell I'll drink even raw with salt and pepper, but I have never cooked an egg as halfassed as that. What the hell jack? Did he microwave them? If he was boiling them he must've let them boil for like 35 seconds and called it good. I would have thrown that bitch on the frying pan and finished the job. Nasty goybean fed bleached egg either way.
>>6188645
>>6188607Who knows at this point, he's in seriously bad shape in his latest videos since the most recent stroke (the 4th or 5th I think) has affected his speech. He still keeps shoveling the food in though.
>>6188870It's unreal how bad at everything he is. In a healthy society, he would've been tossed into a ravine shortly after birth.
>>6188970>People who are bad at everything ahould be murdered..Fren, i am sorry to tell you but o think you are one unhappy dude with serious issues in their lives.I wish you all the best.
>>6189017Murder is an unlawful killing. What I'm talking about is legal, state sanctioned killing of people too retarded to live and who don't deserve any resources wasted on them. With modern medicine, you could probably get nearly all of them in utero anyway.
>>6188007The only thing he cooked is his heart and brain
this thread is missing Kay
>>6188778as evidenced by the attempt to produce something vaguely resembling eggs Benedict, it looks like he tried to poach them in the shell.
>>6189027based retard eliminationist. let's bring back mental asyla while we're at it, for those whose retardation or other general inability to function in society develops later on in life.
>>6189675>based retard eliminationistSuch people like him and you are too arrogant to understand that they would be first on the chopping block.
>>6188870the internet was not gentle with this non-sentient creature
>>6189683not if the criteria is "inability to cook a fucking egg", faggot. go be a bitch back at r*ddit.
>>6188007what is wrong with this guy?
this thread is boring, who the fuck is jack and why should I give a shit
>>6188007This is not shitty, this is horrible
>>6189673I see, thanks for the context. I have not tried poaching and making eggs benedict yet. Looks like my egg cooking game could improve.
>>6189741First day here bish?
>>6188092I was wondering what kind of "sauce" he poured on on the burger so I looked it up. It's just hot Jack Daniels.
>>6188870>managed to fuck up pancakeshow can someone lack this much awareness
>>6189960>It's just hot Jack Daniels.Kek that's retarded. You can literally buy Jack Daniels BBQ sauce.
>>6188870This is Kay, not Jack.
>>6188049It's also possible that eating raw chicken until you get multiple strokes suggests you don't have your thinking cap on.
>>6188645It says all over the Egg Master not to latch the thing.
>>6190080Are you suggest Jack might be a little unintelligent?
>>6190082I'm known for my perception.
>>6190083You might be onto something, there does seem to be something off about this Jack fellow.
>>6189704>go back to plebbit because you have all the values they hate and i'm a snowflake that can't stand being challengedYou're right, one of y'all would fit right in, but it's aint him.
>>6190082maybe
>>6190050>blade clearly curved like the watermelon>cut it the other way aroundthis is somehow even worse than blaming the magic bullet for not cooking his omelette properly.
>>6190050If this guy hadn't been at this shit for 20 years now, I would've believed he was a troll, but there is no way someone can be this dedicated.
>>6188007If PBS were still a thing I'd hope to see this guy on Create
>>6188343If you use foil at at all on a grill it's gonna be to catch fat and prevent flare ups but it's still going to burn if your fire is too hot. I think what he wanted to do was cook the meat low and slow and smoke it or something like that. Why worry about meat burning or drying out when you don't cook it correctly?
>>6190118Funny thing about Jack is he has about a dozen grills or something because of sponsors, yet he is incapable of using one properly.
>>6188015>i used a year old freezer burned piece of cooked meat from my freezer that was only wrapped in tinfoil>Wait, how could i lose?!
>>6190089>y'allFuck off
>>6190151You first retard
>>6190152No u
>>6189057Cardo~
>>6189875to be clear, I have no idea whether poaching in the shell is a thing, it just looks like that's what he was trying to do. I don't cook food, I just eat it.
>>6190292afaik it isn't, to poach an egg you have a boiling pan of sea-salted water (just a pinch), a tsp of vinegar (helps keep it together or something) then you swirl the water to make a whirlpool and add the egg and keep stirring around it for a few mins. doesn't take long.it's "fun", you should try it. slatted wooden spoon/spatula is useful for taking the eggy out and draining it.then go full hipster, toast that sourdough slice, smash up them avocados, eggy on top and garnish with pea shoots, cracked black pepper and sea salt to taste.really easy. and mugs pay stupid money at "trendy" places for something that only costs a few quid with plenty left over for next time
>>6190155Too late, already called it
>>6190579Joke's on you, i always leave the video at 1/4 volume so your screamer didn't work
>>6188261Even worse, that grill has a knob on.Its a gas bbq.
>>6188007>Hard mode, no Jack.
>>6190122why is his phone in that meat tray?
>>6190579fuck ear rape faggots
>>6191309He was marinating it obviously.
>>6191323what the fuck
>>6191323>chilli in the eyeWHY
>>6191324>>6191325It's anyone's guess when it comes to Jack.
>>6189057I hate niggers so much it's unreal
>>6191540HOLY BASED
>>6188015>be a fat fuck>be so fat and retarded. Your blend in with your kind>imagine being so fat and retarded. You use left-over moldy dogshit and still be clueless why is everyone accusing you of food poisoning
>>6188015Do people really keep frozen meet for over a year? I get that it's frozen but surely that fucks it up in some way.
>>6191712That's not shitty cooking, that's just KidBehindACamera doing his usual fake bullshit to try and get views.
>>6191323kek
>>6191712i wnna nut in his gf ngl desu qwyfam
>>6191712>>6193611Stop posting this fake shit retard.
>>6193613>He didn't actually drain the vegetables on the counter>He didn't actually rub his foot in the eggsSounds like you're in denial
>>6193623He did those things on purpose to pretend he's bad a cooking, unlike all the other people in this thread. I bet you also believe he's getting divorced for the 30th time and they're being forced to sell their home again.
>>6193624>He did those things on purpose to pretend he's bad a cookingAnd why would they do that ?
>>6193625>And why would they do that ?To get views from some the same mouth breathers that watch AI videos and think they're real.
>>6193625nigga don't be obtuse, everyone knows those videos were staged crap. thats just how early youtube was with those badly acted prank videos.
>>6193627>>6193628So he spilled boiling hot coffee on himself for some views... the medical bill alone would far exceed any money they would make on that video (especially since this was way before their youtube success)
>>6193630
>>6193630You are genuinely retarded.
>>6193633proof ?
>>6189735TL;DRStupid moron has had four strokes, knows nothing about cooking, has a huge ego and thinks everyone is an idiot, claims to be a food reviewer but only can describe food as "gud" or "fresh". He's been unemployed leeching of of his wifes and mother-in-laws money for about 15 years, has tried to make several sauce brands and failed each time.A thread on kiwifarms has a lot more detail you should check it out.
>>6193663He's a true marvel. Even with all this, he continues to eat absolutely terrible food and has fast food constantly. He even did some retarded meat only diet for a while which I think caused one of the strokes.
>>6193665I found out that if you watch Jack's new videos at 1.25x speed he actually sounds like his old self and moves at his old pace. The stroke made him operate at half speed or something.
>>6193663There's a wiki.https://jakatak69.com/index.php/Main_Page
>>6193732>he's had FIVE strokesHoly fuck I thought it was only 3
>>6189683People like you are too retarded to understand that everyone knows you're a retard using this sort of concern trolling so that you don't get killed.
>>6193786
>>6193732This was more fun in the early days before he was a stroked out undead. I swear he must have deleted like 90% of his early videos. Now it's just sad.
>>6189017Could you explain why you disagree, instead of your inane faggotry?
>>6190160Does Jack never pre-heat his pans?
>>6194150this guy is annoyingly competent.
>>6191327oh my godthe thing I despise about Jack above all else (and there is plenty) is his complete lack of coordinationit is infuriating to watch a grown man fumble with simple manual tasks
>>6190579ear rape was one of the first things that tipped me off I had autism
>>6188870My mother in-law makes pancakes like this
I wish Jack had never had strokes just so we would have new clips. All these muckbang/stuffing their face sitting in a car and quick cut vids that infest every cooking thread now are absolute garbage. But I can rewatch Jack all day.
>>6189057that nigga better marry that twink, he's boy wife material.
>>6195309ah, hmm, i see. so the frothy dog spunk at 0:05 is the secret ingredient.never knew dog spunk was brown but then again those look like pugs so who the fuck knows.>ask your missus*ba-dum tisk*
>>6188092Vegan niggas always trying to demonize meats
>>6195443Jack was on the carnivore diet at the time, which he took to the max by having shitoads of meat and cheese.
>>6190093the fact he even exists is amazing to me>>6195263your mother in law is fucking retarded. obviously your wife is as well since she learnt to cook from her.
>>6190093>glove on the wrong handJack really is a special kind of person. This is the kind of shit you'd expect to see in some parody movie like Naked Gun.
>>6191708Frozen meat can be left in your freezer all the time you want (depending ofc if your power doesn't go away for a very long period of that which that would eventually fuck up the meat), I remember some scientists cooked a frozen 20.000 year old mammoth that was sitting in a glaciar and it was still in perfect condition but knowing this guy he somehow fucked up the meat
>>6196303Considering he always undercooks meat or does other retarded shit, that meat very probably made some people sick.
>>6196560>"get out of the way fatass"kino
>>6190082what the fuck is he doing? is he trying to form a pellicle on that chicken? you just stick it in the fridge uncovered and leave it alone for a couple hours, not violate it with a fucking hair dryer lmao.
>>6189057God youve gotta imagine how much money they make. Like, all im saying is that my price tag to pretend to be someone's boywife twink and make them food wouldn't be all that high.
>>6196560I wonder how depressed Jacks wife is. Surely she must have depression.
>>6194150Wow I actually like this guy lol, who is he?
>>6188778those are delicious>boil 4 minutes>open a tiny hole in the shell>add salt>eat with a little spoon10/10
