>>1567330
It's not a science even tho people act as if it is.
Tests showed that there is basically no difference in how you apply the paste, with the cross / X being the very marginal winner.
One plob in the center, a blob in the center and four small blobs in the corner, X shape, spreading it like butter on bread, .... It does not matter.
You cannot damage modern CPUs by misapplying paste (unless it is conductive and gets under the CPU where the pins are, causing short circuits), they are not destroyed, they just throttle, meaning you lose performance.
For a day or so even ketchup or mayo will do as long as it still contains water.
Just apply a roughly pea sized amount, the pressure of the cooler combined with the heat will do the rest.

>>1567330
My advice would be to only use the thermal paste. Shit is nowhere near as heat-conductive

>>1567330
don't they clean the chip and heatsink with some paper towels soaked in isopropyl alcohol? I guess you can try that. Conventional tissues have a lot of fluff so don't substitute paper towels for tissues.

I think you should count how many turns it takes for you to unscrew the heatsink, so you know how much it takes to screw it back on (though maybe it's unnecessary - i vaguely recall some having a spring or washer that tells you when it's sufficiently tight)
When screwing the heatsink back on, screw each screw incrementally rather than each one completely.

Set aside a small tub or bowl that you can place the screws in.

maybe touch a radiator to destatic yourself or smth

While you have the laptop opened up you could take the chance to throughly clean your fan and grills. I've heard rotating the fan forcefully could break it so avoid rotating it too far.

Also maybe your laptop's user manual has some instructions on disassembling your laptop.

>>1567330
>Even if its something obvious
Make sure you disconnect the battery while you work on it.
Go as far as turning the power button off and on while the battery is out. This will drain any electricity from the device.

Make sure your work place is clean. In case you drop screws or small pieces. This makes it easier to find the pieces.

Depending on the laptop it could be some easy job.

>>1567330
q-tips and isopropal are how I cleaned the old stuff off my PC when I got it repasted.
Also look out for weird connector wires and be gentle. Last time I opened my laptop there were paper thin wires in bullshit spots that made it a pain to move some parts out