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I've been on a quest to find a movie or tv episode I watched when I was very young in late 2000 or early 2001. I distinctly remember a scene where a man on what I'm pretty sure was a ship shoots himself in the head. It was black and white with film grain maybe and I don't remember the audio very well, however I do remember this scene airing on the TV late at night while my mom was asleep. It's possible she didn't have color tv, or the channel only broadcasted in B/W instead of color, and she most likely had the volume turned down so I don't believe it to be a silent film.
I thought it was one of the Titanic movies or documentaries because of the supposed suicide of First Officer Murdoch shooting himself during the sinking. I've watched a bunch of them and haven't found one that matches the memory. Apparently only two Titanic movies ever showed an officer killing themselves and neither were B/W nor were they at the angle I remember.

I distinctly remember the angle of the camera when he shot himself to be pic related, and it's why I'm convinced I haven't found the right video because none of the ones I've seen so far have shown the suicide from this angle.
There was a puff of smoke and then he falls to the side after shooting himself.
This memory is such a core memory for me because it not only made me conceptualize death but also the fact that one could take their own life which was such a terrifying thought to me that I remember going into a panic immediately after this scene.

I'm willing to abandon the idea that it was a ship film, that could be me misremembering or my younger self misunderstanding.

I've already watched every known Titanic movie and BBC documentary/docudrama. At this point it's either not about the Titanic or it was a lesser known TV series.