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Read Strunk & White NOW

>>1573500
the impulse you had to share this is similar to the impulse to ask your crush out. the need to put yourself out there and see if the world accepts you back. it's very normal to seek validation.
the essay is similar to masturbation. i don't mean mental masturbation, i mean that it only really serves a purpose for you personally. you wanted to gather your thoughts, and that's good. writing is a good way to reflect. studies show that journaling improves your mind. but like masturbation, it's something better done in private, to satisfy your own personal needs. there is no purpose for you to tell us about it.
if you wanted to actually present an essay, it would need all the things everyone learns about in school, like a thesis statement for example. what is the thesis statement of what you've written? there isn't one, it's just a ramble. but that's fine, because it's not an essay, it's a diary entry. it's just that a diary is for you, not anyone else.

>>1573500
Good on you for writing something.

This is a personal recount, not an essay.